Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, and am making no money off of this fic.
AN: Written for the March 15th Cocktail Party prompt found here: gwcocktailfriday . tumblr .com(/)post/183335008742/cocktail-friday-post-responses-on-friday-march. (Without the spaces and parentheses.)
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Safety First by luvsanime02
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"Do you think these drinks are green enough for St. Patrick's Day?"
"Think anyone will care?"
"Good point."
"Frankly, I'm more worried about the glitter on the rim of the glasses. Are we supposed to eat that?"
"...Those are sugar crystals."
"...Oh. That makes more sense."
"Yes, it does."
"Shut up, I've never heard of them before."
"That's just sad."
"...You're right."
"Are you going to actually take one of the drinks, or just look at them all night?"
"It's just… they're so green. Is that safe to drink?"
"I assume so, since they're being served at a party."
"You 'assume'. Right. And you're going to risk poisoning yourself if you're wrong?"
"I'm never wrong."
"I respectfully disagree."
"You're not being respectful at all."
"No, I'm not. Good on you for realizing that."
"Just take the damn drink already."
"Fine, but if I end up getting sick from this, I'm winning every future argument we ever have from now on."
"That seems like a steep price. What if you find out that you're allergic to the food coloring, or something?"
"...Food coloring?"
"...How do you survive if you never cook or bake anything, ever?"
"Safely."
"Yes, food coloring. As in, safe-to-consume dye that you put in food or drinks in order to give it a certain color. For example, making something green."
"Huh. Interesting."
"Yes, I'm sure it is."
"Just for that, I hope I do get sick from this, so I can blame you forever."
"Of course you do."
"Hm."
"What?"
"It doesn't taste green."
"...How does something taste like a color?"
"I don't know, they just do."
"Right."
"I'm a little disappointed now."
"And yet, your drink is almost gone already."
"I like the sugar crystals."
"That's good. At least the whole experience wasn't a total waste, then."
"Do you think that I can't tell when you're being sarcastic?"
"I hope that you can tell when I'm being sarcastic. It's my default setting."
"Shut up and get me another glass."
"And so the night begins…"