So, I got the idea to do this when I saw that part in the episode when Ben and Adrian get married. Unfortunately, I am not a huge fan of "Badrian" or "Ramy", so yeah, I know, I'm lame, but I really do miss Ben and Amy together, they were cute in an obnoxious makes-me-want-to-puke-way.

So, here's to this; enjoy! :D

I Forgot to Tell You; I'm Sorry

How could I have been so stupid, so completely stupid? I love her, not Adrian. Of course, I know that I have made mistakes and those cannot be taken away or forgiven so easily but I know that I love her!

I could see it in her eyes, just the way she could see through mine, as she held John from across the window panes and bushes that separated us. She misses me, and truly, I miss her. I miss what we had and I know that if she gave me the chance again I would fix everything.

I cannot put the blame on Ricky, and I know I shouldn't but that's just something that I can't help but do. It kills me that he has my women; he has the family that I want, the life I used to dream of. Amy loves Ricky, but not the way she thinks that she does; Ricky will always be a part of her life – which I have always known and have constantly had a problem with – and the reason being is because of John, no matter what, she will forever hold some kind of love for the father of her son.

He may have part of her life within his hands but I hold her heart.

I hate to admit this, I really, truly do, but Mercy's passing feels like a blessing in disguise for me and for Adrian, but at the same time it kills me, for I was slightly anticipating the arrival of my baby girl. For one, I felt that I would be surrounded by the joy that Amy feels for John, I was kind of looking forward to having that kind of bond with Mercy.

Despite the fact that I had admitted to Amy once that this was not how I had originally planned out my life. I didn't want to have a child at seventeen, well not with anyone else except Amy. The last thing any junior in high school should be worry about is a baby… or marriage, especially so unexpected like mine.

Anyone who knows me would be slapping themselves, probably wishing I would have learned the first time, after being in a relationship as serious as I had with Amy and literally, but not officially, marrying her.

Although, I guess it's true what they say, sometimes you never learn.

I thought that this was what I wanted, I thought creating a new life and starting over, despite the fact that the pregnancy was unexpected and I didn't think for a second I would ever end up married… or that it would be with Adrian.

This wasn't my idea of how I'd completely heal.

One day I hope that I will find my chance, be forgiven and start over. It didn't hurt me when Amy was pregnant when we first began dating, so maybe she'll find the same sympathy and give us another try.

All I need is another try and believe me, if I could erase this entire year or so from my life, I would take it all back in a heartbeat.

The only thing that I can do is hope that the two of us learn from everything that we have been through together and apart, and that we will both be able to forgive ourselves for ignoring the truth.

I am unconditionally sorry for everything that has happened… I love you, Amy Juergens, I miss you and I would give the world to prove it to you one last time.

So this was my first time ever doing a Secret Life fic even though I've been a huge fan since the premiere of the show… haha. Hope this was great, maybe I'll write another one, I'll let you guys be the judge ;)

Review, and show some support! :)