Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan.

Holly - Okay, try not to panic... I'M TOTALLY PANICKING.
This is my first AoT/SnK fic...

Chapter One

Dear God, I've never asked for much, coming from a Jewish family and all, but please, please could you make this day go even a little bit-

"You should be excited! Over the moon! Positively thrilled!"

Never mind, it's too late. I now know I'm in Hell, where you cannot hope to reach me.

"Can you wipe that shit-eating grin off of your face before I disown you forever?"

Hanji gives me eyes like a kicked puppy.

"Levi," She whines. "You always use that threat!"

Who am I to deny what's true?

"And each time I get just the tiniest bit closer to actually going through with it, and in doing so I might even put you in a sack and throw you into a river if you're not careful."

Cue the strange beached whale noise of disapproval and I can already feel the oncoming headache looming at the back of my skull, tenacious, just like Hanji ironically.

Today she's dressed in feminine attire: leggings with jean-shorts, a white vest top paired with a pale lemon-coloured hoodie and her hair's curled into loose ringlets down past her shoulders.

She's a girl today, and boy, is she letting me know it.

"It's not my fault you're all cranky about you're new room mate," She whines, hanging off of my shoulder despite the fact she's got a good 6 inches on me. "You never know! They might be a nice little human being!"

Last year at Trost University I was shoved into a dorm with this clown; at the time when she had enrolled Hanji had been in male attire, thus she was placed into a male dorm. This year however they've taken the opposite approach and have decided that Hanji should be placed into female accommodation and unfortunately, my last hope in the form of Erwin Smith has already moved in with his older boyfriend Mike off of campus in a quaint 2 bedroom apartment with Nanaba and Nifa.

Traitorous oaf.

So now I'm stuck with the great 'guess-who' of dorm room introductions, which is always fun when you generally hate the better half of society like I do.

I cross my arms and shrug Hanji off of my shoulder, we're making our way back across campus to the dorms – we'd already moved all of our possessions into the cramped spaces this morning – from the Starbucks near the Science Department where we had spent nearly 3 hours in the hopes that we could avoid meeting our new dorm mates so early in the day. It's still only 11:30am and I've been praying to every deity I can even think of that I'm not paired with some obnoxiously unclean barbarian.

I can avoid conversation if necessary so their personality doesn't particularly interest me. Hell, I'm not exactly friendship material either as it goes.

"Yes, well, I'm not exactly used to the whole 'first introductions' business," I say, glaring at the ground as we make are way down the stone pathway, Hanji's lemon yellow Converse burning a hole into my peripheral.

"Join the club Levi, at least you didn't have to witness yourself nearly lose your shit that morning after we met for the first time and I had lost my Y chromosome over night ," She snickers at the memory, and I'll admit it's a good one. It takes a lot to catch me off-guard and she had made me practically choke.

"Fair enough," I admit while trying my best not to smirk. "Please for the love of God at least attempt to mention the fact that you're bi-gender to the poor soul you're sharing a room with... And if they don't understand what it is make them Google it."

Hanji throws me a mock salute, "I will roger that."

Why she felt the need to quote Tony Stark from Avengers Assemble right now I will never know, but I don't question it because the moment seems at least half-appropriate, so in retaliation I stick out my left foot to trip her and say:

"Better clench up, Legolas."

I'm a laconic individual at best, I claim not to have emotions sometimes. I'm blunt, completely monotone at best and I rarely smile – but even I cannot contain my snorts of laughter as Hanji flails wildly before face-planting the floor with an audible smack.

"A-are-" I splutter and cough. "Are y-you okay?"

She doesn't move from where she's landed and as I gradually regain my cool I begin to wonder if in a day or two's time there might be chalked lines in the shape of where she's landed spread eagle on the path.

Alas, she turns her to look at me through her slightly-more-stylish-than-the-masculine-version glasses with a grim expression.

"Lucifer is going to put you on a spit-roast in the deepest flames of Hell I hope you know."

I roll my eyes and offer her a hand.

"Yeah, yeah," Then, "I hope you don't say those kinds of things to small children."

"I wouldn't dream of it," She brushes the barely-there dirt from her clothes. "Besides, small children don't tend to have a personality akin to Satan's."

"Touché."

We walk in silence for a little bit longer and I notice Hanji's left palm is slightly grazed which makes me acknowledge the fact I should feel slightly more guilty than I do. Curses.

"Can we meet our new dorm mates together?" I ask, not bothering to look her in the eye as I'm far more pre-occupied with the spontaneously loose piece of cotton on my sleeve. I can feel her practically exploding with unspoken questions.

"Okay," She says eventually, worrying at a loose piece of skin on her graze. "But we're meeting yours first."

And it's then that I realise that she's just as nervous as I am.

Holly - Yeah I watched Avengers Assemble yesterday... And Guardians of the Galaxy... I hope you're all looking forward to reading the next chapter as I am to writing it!
FYI - I will be changing the rating as I go!