Onii-sama, Do You Love Me?
Disclaimer: I don't Mahouka Koukou no Rettousei
ITALIC: THOUGHTS
BOLD: MOVEMENTS
Onii-sama, do you love me?
The first time I ever laid eyes on my brother, I was five years old and I asked that question unconsciously. I felt strange as my brother bowed to me like a knight.
I look at Aunty Maya and all she told me was that for now until he dies, my brother will be my guardian.
This confused me as I thought my brother should have been a candidate to be the next head of the Yotsuba Clan.
After spending some time with him, I finally understood why he wasn't considered a candidate as the next head.
He was emotionless; he doesn't feel anything at all. He always has this blank stare and expressionless face that would surely creep out everybody that would stare at him.
Most of the main branch of the clan treated him as a servant and he acted apart. He wasn't bothered that a person directly related to the head of the clan was treated like a common servant.
Mother doesn't even spare him a look and went out of her way to ignore him.
Father seemingly hates him and always looks at him like he wasn't even human.
And what bothers me the most was that he wasn't even bothered by it, that he took his treatment in stride.
The only person that brother had ever gotten along with in the clan was our Aunt and their relationship was volatile at best.
Also, I have never seen my brother cast a spell outside of his signature spell, [Gram Demolition]. Don't get me wrong, [Gram Demolition] is a powerful and useful spell and only a few can use it, and fewer could use it over and over again like my brother could.
But aside from [Gram Demolition], I have yet to see him use another spell.
But still, although he seems to have low magical abilities, he makes it up for his physical abilities. The strength that he has is unnatural for someone his size and age.
Also, he fights so well, I mean he fights like an unstoppable machine. I've seen my brother take down men twice to thrice his size with one to three blows, maximum. I've seen him cut through flesh and pierce through flesh with his bare hands. I've seen him cut a 20 ton truck in half with a knife. I've seen him go through several dozen people with ease, taking them down so fast that it was almost inhuman, even for magician standards.
My brother is an awe-inspiring fighter.
But for the life of me, I could never understand him, no matter how hard I try, I could never understand him.
He wasn't bothered by his treatment regardless of how much it borderlines abuse.
He was so strong in his own right yet he doesn't want anything else but be a mere guardian, my guardian.
Also, he follows everything I say to the letter. Every request, every order I give him, he follows it to the letter.
Also, he protects me like no one else would or could. He took every bullet, every attack meant for me and he utterly destroyed every assailant that was meant for me in such a brutal way that it made everybody but Aunt and I lose their breakfast, lunch and dinner.
One thing about my brother that made most members of the clan unease about him was that he's a very brutal yet efficient killer.
And this baffled me, whenever I'm threatened or belittled; he always acts in a very brutal and violent fashion.
But if he was the one being threatened or belittled, he merely takes it in stride, like it doesn't affect one bit.
I do not understand my brother at all.
Onii-sama, do you love me?
I was shot by a rebel during the Okinawa invasion and when my life was flowing out of me with my blood, my brother arrives and for the first time since I've known him, he showed emotions.
An emotion of grief, sadness, and dread, three very negative emotions yet emotions nonetheless.
I know it was cruel of me but I was glad to see those emotions crossing his expression and I was so happy that I was the one who ignited those emotions.
From that alone, I can die with a smile.
But brother refused to let me go as he encapsulates me with his power, and as his power envelops me, I could not help but feel exhilarated. As I felt his power course through me, I felt so warm, like my brother was embracing my soul, like his very being was touching my very essence.
At that point, I knew that my brother recreated me. I knew, at that point, that my brother defeated death for me.
For me, brother made the Shinigami run in fear. For me, brother forced the Grim Reaper flee. For me, he made Thanatos bow before him.
From my brother's will, from my brother's power, he utterly annihilated death to retrieve me from the grasped of death.
To preserve my life, my brother invoked something that was too powerful to be called magic, or should I say, he performed something that should be considered true magic, an ability that is worth being called real magic.
My brother showed me, taught me that magic is the ability to instill one's will to the world.
For me, only for me, my brother transcended the phenomena called 'Magic'.
And at that day, my brother showed me the true extent of his power.
He showed me, that day, that he is not a magician.
No, a magician does not give justice to how magnificent his powers are.
He is no magician but a God residing in mortal flesh.
My brother, my Onii-sama walk straight through the eye of war and singlehandedly decimated the opposing army like they were mere insects, like they were trash that did not deserve to be in the same plain of existence as him.
They probably were.
He fought in such a way that it projected to his enemies that they weren't worth his time, giving of an aura of divinity that instills fear upon every being that comes across him.
He did not do anything special while wiping out the opposing army, he did not create storms, he did not split the earth, and he didn't call upon the ocean.
No, what my Onii-sama did was simple yet exceptional at the same time, and it was much more amazing than any contemporary magic that I have ever seen.
Even Aunt Maya's [Meteor Line] pales in comparison when compare to my Onii-sama's magic and that is saying something.
As my Onii-sama walk through the battlefield, every enemy soldier and war machine that he comes across with disappeared before his might. My Onii-sama just pointed his weapon at them and they disappear, like they didn't even exist.
And when my Onii-sama pointed his weapon to a wounded ally, their injuries disappeared, like they weren't even injured in the first place.
My Onii-sama ruled the battlefield this way. Point a weapon to an enemy, the enemy disappeared. Point a weapon to an ally, the wounds of that ally disappeared.
My Onii-sama became the God of War, he change the landscape of the battlefield in such a simple way that it was breathtaking.
I could not believe my eyes as I watch my Onii-sama's display of power. The way he weaves and executes his magic was so beautiful it literally left me breathless. Watching he perform magic was like watching a work of art at the highest quality.
I detected no flaws, no irregularities as he executes his magic. His calculation was so precise that it surpasses perfection…no, my brother's magic calculation abilities surpass perfection.
In other words, there were no excess materials in his Magic Sequence. His Magic Power was expanded to its limit and entirely devoted towards phenomenon rewriting, making for a magic that was calculated down to the last detail.
It was the perfect combination of fines and power, and it was so beautiful.
The way Onii-sama use his magic was like watching a God create a world.
Such perfection should never exist but it did, it existed in my Onii-sama.
It took me awhile but I finally understood the abilities of my brother.
He is God! That is the only logical explanation for my Onii-sama's abilities.
As I watch this, I ask my mother why he was treated poorly by the clan if he possesses such God-like abilities.
My mother answered me
And the truth was cruel.
I was stunned by this revelation as another revelation dawned to me.
The reason why my brother endured his unfair treatment by the clan, the reason why my brother was so indignant in being my guardian was because he had no choice.
The reason why he was so determine to stay beside me was because, to him, I am his world.
But in truth, I am merely his shackle.
Onii-sama, do you love me because of that reason alone?
After hearing mother's explanation, I wonder if you truly cared for me. Do you care for me because sibling love is the only emotion left in you after that experiment? If you have any emotions left, will you even value me?
Do you care for me because you're force to? Is it because it's the only thing you have left? Is it because of your obligation as my guardian?
I wonder, Onii-sama, do you truly love me?
After you suppressed the invasion, you walk straight to me and bowed your head, apologizing for disobeying me and for showing me what kind of a monster you are.
Mother tried to usher you away, but I reach your hand and grasped it as tightly as I could. You and Mother were surprised by this gesture and were even more surprised by the next words that came out of my mouth.
"For the night, Onii-sama, please sleep beside me. I'm afraid."
For the first time, I gave you a request that mother was totally against, and she loudly voiced her protest, but all you did was give our mother a look and told her to be silence before agreeing to my wishes.
Mother was upset and was about to scold me but you stepped in front of me before choking mother by literally destroying the oxygen around her.
"You are lucky, very, very lucky that Miyuki will be sad if I kill you, but if you ever raise your voice towards her again, the only thing Aunt Maya will retrieve from your remains is a pile of dust."
Onii-sama threatened mother before ushering me to the villa, leaving our out of breath mother behind us.
I looked at our mother and realized that Onii-sama threatened mother because she attempted to scold me.
I was worried at the fact that Onii-sama was easily upset if I am the one involve. It confused me and I could not help but ask the question that has been plaguing me for the last seven years.
Onii-sama, do you love me?
Night came and you lay in my bed beside with me.
I was surprised in the manner that you held me.
My heart beat rapidly as you held me firmly in place, close to your chest, which allowed me to listen to your heartbeat.
Onii-sama did not show any awkwardness or eagerness, Onii-sama merely held me as tightly and as tenderly as he could. I was doubtful that you were capable in showing this degree of care and love to anyone, including me, but it seems that my doubts were misplaced as you showed me that you are capable of showing that you cared.
The care you have for me is very alluring, Onii-sama.
My head was resting on Onii-sama chest, allowing me to listen to his heartbeat and that sound was the thing that lulled me to sleep that night.
As I drifted to sleep, I could not help but feel at home in your arms. Being held by you inspired me to have so many wonderful feelings coursing through my veins and I enjoyed having those wonderful feelings in me be ignited by you.
Is this the reason why I could not set you free even though you made me uncomfortable?
Is the reason why I could never look at you as a tool regardless of mother's attempts?
Did I know, in the deepest corner of my mind and heart, that you are capable of making me feel these kinds, this many wonderful emotions by merely touching me.
I don't know, but the one thing that was for certain was that I am at home in my Onii-sama's arms.
My ignorance towards him was no longer something that worried me.
I can now confidently say that I love you, Onii-sama.
Onii-sama, do you love me too?
After the best night of sleep I had in my twelve years of existence, I proceeded to get to know my Onii-sama better. Usually, Onii-sama will settle in merely following me in my day-to-day activities and that usually bothers me.
I won't settle for that every again.
I don't want Onii-sama following me; I want Onii-sama to stand beside me.
I told Onii-sama this and I was rewarded with an awkward yet genuine smile that did not fail to make my heart beat rapidly.
I don't know why but seeing Onii-sama show his emotions towards me makes me feel a certain emotion that scared me.
Still, I could not help but be drawn to him.
So, for the rest of the day and for the rest of the vacation, Onii-sama and I spent every single moment together. Onii-sama did not leave my side and I did not allow mother or anybody else to remove me from his side. For the rest of our time in Okinawa, we did everything together, we played together, we ate together, we had fun together, and we even slept in the same bed for the rest of our stay.
And I enjoyed every single minute of it.
That confirmed my feelings for him to be truth.
I truly do love Onii-sama.
Onii-sama, do you love me too?
How long has it been since Onii-sama and I became genuine siblings? Let's see, it has been roughly four months, one week, three days, five hours, thirty-seven minutes, and forty-five second and counting right about now!
Yes, I've been counting the moments, so what? Anybody would do what I'm doing if they have a brother as wonderful as mine.
And speaking of Onii-sama, he joined the army. After his spectacular performance during the invasion, Major Kazama Harunobu invited him to join the JSDF 101 Magic Equipped Battalion.
Of course, Onii-sama rejected the offer, saying that his priority will always be me and that being part of the military will interfere with his Guardian duties.
And as much as I was delighted at the fact that Onii-sama considers me his priority, I cannot allow him to reject this offer. I know, for a fact, that he wanted to accept the offer given to him by the good Major.
My brother may show that he is indifferent, that he is emotionless, but that doesn't work for me, not anymore.
After spending quality time with him, after bonding with my Onii-sama, best part of that vacation and the happiest experience I had in my young life, I started realizing that my brother did not lose all of his emotions. Yes, a good chunk of his emotions were gone, but there were still fragments, small fragments of his emotions that can only be ignited whenever I am with him.
I am so ecstatic to know that I'm the only one who can make my Onii-sama genuinely smile.
With that said, I tried to convince my Onii-sama to join the military and Aunt Maya to allow Oni-sama to join the military.
I convince Aunt Maya that being in the military would do Onii-sama good and it would further his skills as both my guardian and as a combat magician serving under the Yotsuba.
Surprisingly, Aunt Maya agreed readily and eagerly with a very creepy and evil smile on her lips.
I requested my Onii-sama to sleep with me for that night after seeing that smile on Aunt's face. Our Aunt is already scary without her trying to be scary.
Convincing Onii-sama to join the military now that was challenging as he was adamant in never leaving my side, which is quite flattering and endearing.
And, as cruel as it may be, I use my brother's love for me to have him join the Independent Magic Battalion.
For my brother to join JSDF 101 Magic Equipped Battalion, I, in a move that amuse Aunt Maya and horrified Mother, enlisted myself in the military and was assigned to the very battalion that wanted to recruit my brother.
Of course, this move forced my brother to accept the invitation so that he can continue protecting me.
It was a cunning and conniving move in my behalf, a move that made Aunt Maya giddy with pride, but it was for the greater good.
I would do anything for my Onii-sama to be happy, just like he would do to me.
Our days in the military are quite memorable.
In the military, I was, for the first time in the twelve years of my existence, was above average at best except for the magic combat portion. In Magic Combat, I was excellent.
My brother, on the other hand, is a different story.
My brother, at the tender age of thirteen, set the standard of what a soldier should be.
My brother was beyond outstanding, beyond excellent as a soldier.
Every training that were thrown at him, from firearms to close quarters combat, from tactics to espionage, from normal combat to magic combat, my Onii-sama excelled in them.
As I watch him train in the military, I was convinced that my brother was born to be a warrior, and an excellent one at that.
A fact that was proven in our first mission.
Our first mission involves a simple escort. We, together with a brigade that was composed of 17 soldiers were task to deliver a cargo from Japan to the Philippines.
Sounds easy enough, but not completely. The vessel that we were using for transportation was under constant attack by the Chinese Alliance. At that time, the Philippines were colonized by the Chinese Alliance and the country was fighting for independence.
Of course, Onii-sama and I protected the vessel with all our might. With my Freezing Magic, I prevented any battleships from reaching us and with Onii-sama's decomposition, all the battleships were sunk into none existence.
The journey from Japan to Philippines was eventful, when we reach the island country that is when things took a turn for the worst.
For the enemy.
The moment our brigade set foot on Philippine land, we were attack and a bullet almost grazed me, right in front of my Onii-sama.
What happened next was Onii-sama slaughtering a camp filled with soldiers from the Chinese Alliance using his bare hands, without the use of magic no less, before using Material Burst to wipe out half of the city named Cebu, fortunately though, the main base of the Chinese Alliance was located in Cebu and the rebels did not mind losing all that land just as long as they repel their conquerors.
In short, they regarded Onii-sama as a hero.
But what I remembered after this mission was what happened in our first night in the Philippines.
Two hours had passed since Onii-sama leveled half of Cebu, and he was sitting in the middle of the rebel camp, starring at his hands. They were so red, so filled with blood.
I know my Onii-sama lacks the emotional capacity to pity but I still could remember his expression faltering for a half a second when he saw the fear in the eyes of those children, child soldiers, when they witness him slaughtering their colonizers.
Instead of being grateful like their parents, they were afraid of him.
Ungrateful brats!
Still, I noticed him staring intently at his hands and I decided to comfort him.
I approached him with a bowl of water in hand. He had looked up at me as I walked over him but he did not say a word, even when I was washing his hands. I was silently offering comfort to him while hoping that I soothed his mind.
"Aren't you afraid of me?" My Onii-sama asked as I wiped the last drop of blood from his hands.
I merely smiled at him before gently kissing his right hand.
"I'll always be here to help you wash the blood off." I told her and it was a way for me to assure him that I will always accept him no matter what.
He smiled at me before doing something that truly surprised me.
He cuffed my chin gently before capturing my lips with his.
The kiss was brief.
The kiss was new.
The kiss was raw.
The kiss was empowered.
The kiss was both Yotsuba Tatsuya and Shiba Tatsuya.
Not the emotionless God bound to be by my side for the rest of his life.
This was him, the Onii-sama that I had grown to be the person who I valued above else.
Breathless, Onii-sama pulled away very reluctantly, gently tracing my lips with his thumb.
I was stunned myself as that kiss literally took my breath away.
That kiss was everything I wanted in my first kiss.
"If you weren't my little sister, I would have you as my wife." Onii-sama admitted to me with a loving tone as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in an embrace.
Onii-sama, does this kiss means you loves me?
Two and a half years has pass since Onii-sama and I joined the military, and things have become quite interesting for the two of us in the last two and a half years.
One thing that greatly impacted and change my life took place in that time span. Mother died and I was very sad at this, and I was upset at the fact that father married another women right after mother died.
I was very mad at father, very, very mad, so mad that I ran away and naturally, Onii-sama was with me and he was quick to arrange our living quarters.
Of course, father was adamant in me returning to our home and quickly demanded me to come home, completely ignoring Onii-sama. When I did not give a reply in three days, father asked the police to come get me.
I was not amuse when at least three dozen police barged into the house that Onii-sama and I were residing in, guns blazing in the middle of dinner.
Onii-sama was also not amuse and proceeded to beat the three dozen cops into a bloody pulp.
Of course, this caught the attention of our Aunt, whom covered the entire incident, and proceeded to negotiate with father for our living arrangements.
And when I mean negotiate, I mean Aunt Maya threatened our father.
Her threat goes like this.
"Tatsurou-san, you see, I may not have like Miya-nee that much but I value family above all else, and when I mean family, I family with my blood. You, you are merely garbage that I decided to induct into the clan because of your genes, no more, no less. In fact, considering that we have Miyuki with us, your services are no longer needed; I could kill you right now in fact."
To prove her point, Aunt Maya activated the most feared magic in Asia, [Meteor Line] and the room that we were in was engulfed in pitch black darkness.
That alone would have scared anyone and I was half expecting Aunt Maya to thoroughly carve father's body with [Meteor Line].
Fortunately for him, Aunt Maya was in a merciful mood that day.
"But I shall relent for now. Because of the small and irrelevant fact that you are the father of my heir, I will spare you for now but be reminded, upset Miyuki again, I will not prevent her guardian from getting his hands on you. Remember, you are nothing but baggage that I decided to carry. Miyuki is my heir, she's more important than your life could ever be, and upsetting her would upset me and would upset her guardian, and if that happens, you have two distinct choices for your death; Decomposition or Annihilation, and believe me; I would make you feel every minute of your death. So please, don't upset Miyuki again. If she wants to live on her own, let her. She has Tatsuya after all, and he has his uses, this one being the most prominent."
Suffice to say, father did not intervene in our lives after that and Aunt Maya arrange a house own by the Yotsuba for Onii-sama and I to inhabit.
Another important aspect that happened to us siblings was that Onii-sama involved himself in the business that mother started.
Four Leaves Technology.
Our father always sat in the backseat when running FLT, and Sayuri-san, father's mistress was merely a researcher, both of them were very bad in running a business to the extent that for the first three months, they almost ruined the business that mother established.
To prevent this, Aunt Maya and Onii-sama intervened.
In a fight, those two makes up a very scary duo.
Onii-sama became an engineer and created several CADs and CAD software that revolutionize the technological advancement of magic by ten years. His most prominent invention was the Loop Cast System.
In a matter of months, the alias that Onii-sama took, Taurus Silver, became a household name in the world.
Aunt Maya, she handled all the business aspect from marketing to product management, all the way to trade and business negotiation.
Also, Aunt Maya pretty much crippled the competition by using underhanded tactics, which is, admittedly, cool.
This is a scary fact but Aunt Maya and Onii-sama makes a pretty good team.
Another aspect that changes about us was the way people viewed me and Onii-sama. It seems that I have grown quite beautiful, according to family and Onii-sama, I only care about Onii-sama's opinion, and I started receiving an abundance of love letters every day and many lewd stares that were beginning to irritate me.
Fortunately, nobody would dare act upon their feelings for me in fear of my Onii-sama. There were those brave enough to confess but I rejected them as gentle as I could because I only have my eyes on one person and one person alone.
Of course, some of them did not take the rejection quite well and proceeded to harass me, and Onii-sama proceeded to beat them within an inch of their lives.
They were never heard of ever again after the beating Onii-sama gave them.
Watching them get beat up did not affect me one bit as I merely overlook their beating in the hands of my beloved Onii-sama. I do have a cruel and sadistic side; I am the niece of Yotsuba Maya, the Queen of Night, the Demon Lord of the Far East after all.
I did not enjoy watching those trashes (Miyuki's admirers) get beat up but I did enjoy my Onii-sama 'protecting my honor and pureness'. Watching him protect me was endearing and I made sure his hands were as clean as possible after every beating that he inflicted on those persistent boys.
Suffice to say, those trashes merely settled in giving me those nuisance love letters that I merely use for target practice.
Also, it did not escape me that some girls have been eyeing my beloved Onii-sama. I hear things and according to the rumor mill in our school, they like Onii-sama because of the aloof, mysterious and cold aura that he constantly has and that gave him a certain appeal that makes him irresistible. Also, they like the way Onii-sama treated me saying: "If that is the way he treats his little sister, imagine how he would his girlfriend."
Those no good, conniving whores!
I did not like the thought of girls eyeing my precious Onii-sama like that. In fact, I hated it!
Those girls would just hurt Onii-sama in the end. They will never understand him. They will never understand his greatness and/or how delicate he is.
No, they will never, ever accept Onii-sama as he is.
Those mortals will never truly appreciate or love Onii-sama like I could.
I watched, from the shadows as girls tried to approached my Onii-sama and failed miserably as they got shot down one after another and this did not ease me as this made them even more persistent.
They wanted to have my Onii-sama because he was unattainable.
They are all fools. All of them, all of the girls that approached Onii-sama is trash, filled with imperfections that made them unworthy for someone of my Onii-sama's caliber.
Knowing this, I cling onto Onii-sama possessively, clinging to him like a lover, wanting those girls to realize that he is mine and I do not and will not share him with anybody. Also, I was 'protecting' him from the clutches of those vile females that will only hurt him in the long run.
Of course, my actions cause people to give us dirty while muttering how abnormal our relationship is but screw them, they don't understand us, they don't understand Onii-sama and I.
I need Onii-sama, and Onii-sama needs me.
Onii-sama needs me to feel human, a feeling that he so enjoys.
And I need him because I need him, period.
My actions discourage some, but those persistent enough; I had to utterly destroy them.
My first option was to kill them and be done with them, but that is too easy, too unsatisfactory.
Those mortal girls should learn to not lust over a divine being like my Onii-sama. They should learn that they are not worthy for a God like Onii-sama
I am the niece of Yotsuba Maya, I am evil and twisted in my own way, and I showed how demented I am to those girls that dared lust after my brother.
They dared lust after him! They don't have the right to have feelings for my Onii-sama!
Using the influence of the Yotsuba, I destroyed those girls, I destroyed their family, I destroyed their lifestyle, I destroyed their way of life, and when they are drowning in despair, I slaughtered them, encasing them in ice and I watch, with grim satisfaction as the coldness of my wrath slowly drains them of their life.
As I do this, Aunt Maya was the one beside me, not Onii-sama. Aunt Maya always enjoys the show while muttering that she made the right decision to name me her heir.
It hit me that I am becoming the person that Aunt Maya wanted me to be. Through the love I have for my Onii-sama, I am becoming another Yotsuba Maya.
And technically, I don't care as for every time I did those to my Onii-sama's admirers, I always have Onii-sama to hold me, to comfort me, to sleep with me, to protect me from my demons.
In his arms, I know that even if I turn into a second Yotsuba Maya, I will always have him by my side, accepting me no matter how much I dirtied my hands.
But still, Onii-sama, will you love me knowing how much I dirtied my hands because of my own hubris?
This is me practicing writing a possessive, dark, yet adorable Miyuki…You guys can say this is me training and planning my first multi-chapter MKnR fanfiction…..
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