Ruffle My Feathers
Rated: T
Summary: Outlaw Queen one-shot. It takes place during the missing year. This scene just came to me, and I wanted to share it. Robin likes to ruffle Regina's feathers. Light and fluffy like a kitten! Roland and Henry make appearances, and mentions of Snow.
"Jackass!" The queen huffs as she stomps into her bed chamber. She had been sitting in a council meeting with the uncharmings, Belle, and that imbecile, Robin Hood. She was trying to figure a way to defeat the wicked witch. After every suggestion she made, the thief had to make a contrary remark. If he didn't have such an adorable son, Regina swore he would be burnt to a crisp.
She undid her dress and let it fall to the ground as she made her way to her washroom. A nice, hot bath is what she needed most. With the use of magic, and the knowledge of the conveniences of Storybrooke, Regina transformed the castle bathrooms so they had indoor plumbing and running water. This was something that a very pregnant Snow White was especially grateful for.
The queen rid herself of her clothing and tied up her hair. She filled her tub with hot water and lavender soap. When it was full, she sunk beneath the bubbles and forgot her worries and her irritations.
Regina was in the tub longer than she planned. When she entered her bed chamber, the castle was still alive with chatter. After she finished her bath, it was silent, which meant everyone had gone to bed.
She slipped on her long white night gown and put a deep scarlet colored long robe on top, and placed her feet into matching scarlet slippers. She untied her hair so it fell to her waist and began to comb out the knots.
As she was brushing her hair, that damn irritation came back to her. She closed her eyes and saw the thief's lips smirking at her, as he did when he was being a donkey's hind end.
Regina shuttered, she needed something to eat, and decided on chocolate. She knew exactly where the kitchen staff hid it down stairs. She smiled to herself, put her hair brush down, and began her trek to the kitchen.
Regina sat quietly outside looking at the stars. She had retrieved her chocolate was now eating it in the gardens where she could gaze at the night stars, so bright and beautiful. She let her mind wander to Henry, not to the sad thoughts of missing him, but to the happier thoughts of the two of the them looking at stars when he was a little boy.
"Why do stars only come out at night, mama?" four-year-old Henry inquired as he looked up into the night's sky. He usually wasn't allowed stay up passed eight, but since it was a particularly clear night in Storybrooke, one where Regina knew the stars would be much more visible than usual, she let him stay up a whole hour later, so he could enjoy them with her.
The two sat on a blanket on her lawn, and she answered, "They are out during the day, sweetheart, but the light from the sun makes it hard for us to see them." Regina leaned over and kissed her son on the cheek.
"I love the stars," Henry announced, and put his arms around his mother, so she could pull him close, and they could watch together.
"I love the stars," a small voice said, and it brought Regina out of her memory.
"Henry?" she whispered aloud. Then turned around and saw the adorable little reason that she continues to the let the thief live.
Regina smiled at the boy who plopped down on the bench she had been sitting on. The queen offered him a piece of chocolate and the boy graciously accepted.
"Roland, what are you doing out here?" Regina questioned.
"I just wanted to see the stars. You can't see them from inside the castle," Roland answered.
"Where's your daddy?" The queen asked with genuine concern.
"He's sleeping. I sneaked out!" Roland gave her the same irritating smirk, but cute as can be on him, that his father gives her every time he's being contrary.
Regina chuckled to herself. Ornery fathers have ornery sons, she thought to herself.
"You shouldn't do that, mister! There is a wicked witch on the loose, and she likes to eat little boys for dinner," Regina quipped, which earned her a smile from the boy.
"Not if I eat her first," Roland returned.
Regina laughed, Roland reminded her so much on Henry when he was four.
"It's time to go to bed," Regina held out her hand. Roland pouted a bit, but eventually took it and let the queen walk him back to his room.
When Regina saw that Roland was tucked into bed and falling sleeping, she turned to make her way to her own bedroom. As she was leaving, she noticed that she didn't see Robin in his bed. Roland told her he was sleeping.
She looked around the room and spotted him. He was fast asleep in chair with his bow and arrows near by. He was planning to be ready for anything, was what Regina thought.
Regina studied him carefully. He looked the same as always with his boots on, and in the same trousers he always wore. He wasn't wearing his cloak or his green tunic, he just wore a loosely fitted shirt that was untied revealing his muscular chest and blonde chest hair.
She didn't know how, but she found that she had walked so she was directly in front of him. She studied the relaxed features of his face, the way his eyes were shut and how his head tilted and was supported by the back of the chair.
It couldn't be comfortable sleeping like that, Regina thought.
She spotted the scruff on his face. The part of his face that she found to be the most sexy... least irritating..., other than his dimples. She didn't know what possessed her, she stretched out her bare hand and placed it on his face. Right on his jawline and she caressed the scruff there.
When she touched his skin there, felt electricity ghost up her arm and through the rest of her body. Suddenly she felt very hot. She had to get back to bed chamber. She began to remove her hand, but Robin's hand shot up and took hold of her wrist.
She was sure she turned every shade of red and then purple when she saw his eyes look up at her. He shot her the same ornery smirk that he always gives her when he's being naughty in council meetings, but his smile was a little wider than usual, so she could see his dimples.
Without taking his eyes off hers or letting go of her wrist, he tilted his head just enough to place a chaste kiss on the throbbing pulse point of her wrist. He shifted her hand and placed the same kiss on her palm.
"Good evening, your majesty. To what do I owe this unexpected honor?" The bastard was smirking at her again.
"Roland wandered outside, and I brought him back," Regina, still embarrassed, said no higher than a whisper, "If you'll excuse me, goodnight," The queen said quickly and tried to make a run for it back to her bed chamber.
Robin still had a hold of her wrist. He pulled her arm, so she fell backwards and landed right in his lap, "Don't go," he said as adjusted her so she could sit comfortably in his lap and he could put his arms around her waist.
Regina could feel her face turning every color of the rainbow at this point. She turned her head and looked out his window, so she could still hide from him, despite being in his lap.
"You smell like lavender and chocolate," He informed her, the comment rolled off his tongue like an insult which fired Regina up.
"Well, you smell like pine trees and animal carcase!" Regina crossed her arms and practically pouted in his arms, "Why do you have to be such an ass?" she huffed at him.
"I don't know what you mean," He chucked, and Regina knew that he knew exactly what she meant.
"Why do you always have to be so contrary, and just a damn nuisance in every council meeting we have?" She was practically demanding now.
"From what I can tell, you're wrapped too tight, your majesty. You need someone to ruffle your feathers a bit," He confessed.
"You want to ruffle my feathers?" Regina scoffed and shook her head.
"Yes," The archer insisted, "Then there is that irresistible feisty side of you that comes out every time I am, as you put it, contrary."
"Why do you, as you put it, ruffle my feathers, in every council meeting we have? We have a witch to destroy." The queen sounded like a military general when she said the word destroy. Robin couldn't get enough of it. He knew it was serious, but he was too charmed by her in this moment to care.
"That's the only time I ever see you. You take your meals in your chambers, and the only time you ever talk to anyone besides Snow White, is when its in a meeting. When else will I get a chance to ruffle your feathers?" He asked, rubbing her up and down her arm.
"Why do you wish to irritate me at all?" The queen finally asked directly, loving the sensations he was giving her as he rubbed his hand up and down her arm, "Why do you care if I'm 'wrapped too tight?'"
"I find that women make better lovers when they learn to loosen up a bit," Robin snickered. That snicker turned into full blown laughter when he watched Regina's jaw drop to the floor.
"I think it's time for me to go to bed," she said, and eased herself out of his lap.
Robin got up from the chair and followed her to the door of his bed chamber, "before you go," he said Regina turned around. He put his hands on both sides of her face brought her in for a full kiss on the lips. He kissed her hard, and pumped his lips against hers until they were both panting heavily.
"Open your mouth for me," He breathed against her lips, and was thrilled when she compiled. He thanked her by gently massaging the inside of her mouth and throwing her into a small tizzy. He lightly pecked her a few times after.
When she opened her eyes to look at him, he said, "It was truly a pleasure to ruffle your feathers this evening."
Regina scoffed and rolled her eyes, "Goodnight."
The queen left the thief and marched back to her room, "Ruffled my feathers indeed," Regina thought as she got into bed. She couldn't help the smirk that was forming on her face as she fell asleep.
Author's Note: Hope you liked it! A little bit AU.