I got about 4000 words into this before thinking it might be a better story written in 1st person which is kinda my specialty, but I'm working on the whole third person writing experience so I went with this, I might write another version from Meredith's POV This is also like the longest one shot I've ever written and one of the longest stories
Set between 4x13 and 5x17
There's a love that could fall down like rain
Let us see
Let forgiveness wash away the pain
What we need
We Believe~Good Charlotte
Meredith Grey didn't have the best timing, she waited until the worst possible moment to tell Derek. He hadn't taken the death of his pregnant patient well, nor the lawsuit that followed, and definitely not the news that he had lost more patients than he had saved. She tried to give him space, but that wasn't what he needed, she knew that now. Now she needed to get in his face, tell him that you can't win every battle, sometimes patients die, everybody dies, but you have to get back up and prepare for the next battle, the next surgery. He said something about her knowing all about quitting, running, and hiding, and it set her off.
"Why are you letting him get away?" She asked as Meredith followed her outside, "You need to get him back."
"That's uh, that's not going to happen Addison, we are done over, no more breakup sex, no more Meredith and Derek, we're just colleagues, friends, coworkers or whatever. Now if you'll excuse me, it's been a rough day and I'd like to go get my drink on," Meredith finished, walking away, but not back inside Joe's like she had expected. Addison stood there feeling slightly confused for a moment, watching the blonde walk off before finally following after her.
"Rough day Mer?" She nodded as she downed her shot. "Well I think it's about to get better. There is a really hot redhead that just walked in, and she's headed straight for you, and if you're really lucky she doesn't know you're Shane." Meredith couldn't help but laugh at that, it wasn't exactly news that she liked sex, or that she'd slept with a lot of women while coming to the conclusion that she was in fact a lesbian, but it was still funny that they called her Shane, because she actually wanted a relationship now.
"Is this seat taken?" Addison whispered, taking a seat next to the blonde before she had the chance to respond.
"Not at all, Jen get my stalker here a drink," Addison turned to her and gave her a look of mock offense. "Martini," Meredith added and Jen walked off to prepare the drink. "Don't you have a flight to catch?"
"I have a few hours. So you're sleeping with women now?" Addison asked as Jen returned with her drink.
"So the hot redhead knows you," Jen began as she poured Meredith another shot. "Why do they always come to you? I only ask because I am so jealous," She winked at Addison before walking off.
"She was flirting with me right?" Addison asked, afraid that she may be confusing kindness with flirting at this point.
"Jen does that, the attractive ones always wanna sit with me," She said nudging Addison playfully, and the redhead rewarded her with a grin.
"Meredith?" The blonde didn't have time to react as a hand collided fiercely with her cheek. "You don't call? And this," She said indicating Addison, "You're disgusting, I can't believe you would give up this," The woman said gesturing emphatically at her breasts, "For that, I mean she's old," She yelled, walking off with a group of giggling girls.
"You might not want to sit next to me Addison, it's not good for the ego," She didn't show any signs of moving though, and Meredith was actually thankful that she stayed. "You're not old, I've just been screwing Seattle's lesbian undergrads, they think everyone over 25 is old." Addison didn't say anything, she just downed the rest of her drink.
"The girls didn't scare her off?" Jen asked as she reappeared. "I think she deserves another drink," Addison nodded and pointed to Meredith's still full shot glass and Jen went to retrieve another one for the redhead and poured her a shot which she quickly knocked back. "Ally has been pissed off at Meredith because she didn't call her back for the last month, and she and her friends have successfully scared off everyone that's sat next to her since." She put her hand on Addison's arm before speaking again, "You are a very beautiful woman, don't let anyone tell you otherwise." The redhead looked up at the young bartender with a smile, before allowing her to disappear once again.
"Jen is really good for the ego," Meredith said filling the silence that had fallen. "And I am sleeping with women now, except they're all shooting me down now because of her and the anti-Meredith club over there. God I even feel for Mark Sloan, the nurses are shutting him down, the blonde undergrads are shutting me down," She sighed. "I'm pathetic, I resorted to sleeping with the blonde from accounting two weeks ago. If I had just, God if, it's all because of that fucked up denial breakup sex with Derek. And now I'm ready to be all gay and no one wants me because I'm that bitch that doesn't call, like that stupid asshole you have a one night stand with when you're a freshmen in college! I'm that asshole Addison!"
"When did this even happen? Is everyone here gay now? I go to LA and I come back and everyone is a lesbian? I mean first Callie and Erica, and now you!"
"Wait Callie and Hahn?"
"Yeah, they just don't know it yet, I know because I'm all LA and, but you, you and Derek, I thought you would work it out, I know at the wedding but," Meredith cut her off.
"I went to Hawaii with Cristina, and I haven't told anybody this because I was supposed to be a good celibate person and we were supposed to drink and complain about men, and then I couldn't drink with Cristina anymore. I went to the bar and I was drinking and then I was naked with this really hot blonde with the most beautiful smile and these sparkling blue eyes and she was amazing. Derek and I we um, but I, I really like having sex with women, so things with Derek and I are so, so over, never gonna happen again, I am so over boys and their stupid boy penises, and if you tell him I said any of this I will hurt you." Addison grinned at the thought of Meredith Grey trying to physically hurt her and fought the urge to laugh at the mental image.
"He doesn't know?"
"No, I don't, I'm uh not ready to tell him, I haven't even..." She trailed off, not really knowing what she wanted to say.
"Yang doesn't know?" Addison asked in shock.
"She uh knows about the accountant, I can't tell her about Hawaii because she'd kill me, and I don't know why I'm even telling you all this, it must be the tequila. I'm really sorry you know about Derek, but I'm a lesbian now and there will be no more sex with boys." She said knocking back her 4th shot of the night that Jen had refilled while she finished speaking.
"I won't tell Derek," Addison whispered.
"Thank you," Meredith mumbled quickly.
"I won't tell Derek if you don't." And with that Addison cupped Meredith's cheek and pulled her into a searing kiss. She reached into her wallet and threw a handful of bills onto the bar. "You are good for the ego," She told Jen as she grabbed Meredith and pulled her out of the bar much to the disgust of the previously giggling blondes. The cab ride home was a blur of kisses and touches and before they knew it they were in Meredith's bedroom and clothes were being thrown in every direction. In that moment nothing else mattered. Addison was on top of a completely naked Meredith Grey wearing only a lacy pair of black panties with her thigh pressed directly against the blonde's center. Her breath hot against Meredith's ear.
"I have had just enough to drink to think that this is a good idea. You better not make me regret this Meredith Grey." Everything after was a blur. Kisses and nips against her neck, Meredith's tongue teasing the shell of her ear sending shivers down her spine. Grinding against her thigh as Addison refused to let her lover flip her onto her back. Fingers pumping her gently but firmly at just the right angle. Flicks of her tongue against pebbled nipples. Teeth grazing over her clit, tongue sliding through her wet folds. Fingertips gripping hips, nails grazing lightly against her back. Toe curling orgasms. The night was a perfect blur of absolute bliss, and they slept like that until Izzie's voice woke them the following morning.
"Are you guys covered? I have coffee, we have to be at work in half an hour Mer."
"Go without me!" The blonde grumbled, snuggling back into Addison's side.
"Your car is still at the hospital and I'm working with Derek today, I'd hate to let slip that you're sleeping with his ex-wife, especially since he doesn't know that you ended your relationship to be a lesbian. So I'm going to open this door in 30 seconds and you guys are going to be covered up."
"It's safe Izzie," Meredith groaned as the bubbly blonde opened the door and handed them each a cup of coffee. "How did you know it was Addison?"
"I saw you two come in last night, seriously though we need to leave in like the next 10 minutes," She said, leaving the room.
"You missed your flight," Meredith whispered.
"It was so worth it," Addison practically hummed before pulling Meredith in for a kiss.
"Shower?" Addison nodded enthusiastically as Meredith lead her into the bathroom and they had their way with one another in the shower. "Do you have to leave?" Meredith asked, unable to hide her disappointment as she got dressed for work and Addison put last night's clothes back on.
"I kind of wish I didn't have to," She whispered, kissing the blonde again. "I definitely don't regret last night." A permanent smile seemed to be taking residence on the redhead's lips. "Are you going to be busy today?" Meredith shook her head in response.
"Research day, the first virus didn't work for the tumor so we've got to come up with a new concoction. Meet me for lunch?" Meredith asked quickly kissing Addison yet again as Izzie yelled that they needed to go.
"Yeah I'd like that, lunch," She whispered pulling the blonde back to her for another kiss before she had to run after Izzie for work, leaving Addison alone to do whatever she pleased in the House of Grey.
"We are going to be late," Izzie grumbled as they stepped into the elevator in the lobby. They were fighting the clock, they needed to be in the resident's locker room in three minutes. "And it's all because of your latest conquest," Izzie added teasingly just as the doors opened revealing one Alex Korev.
"Conquest? Do tell Grey!" He winked knowingly at his roommate. She didn't say anything, just shot him a wicked grin that said it all for her. "I thought they were shutting you down."
"What have you heard?" It was Mark Sloan entering the elevator.
"The nurses are shutting you down, the blonde undergrads are shooting Grey down," Alex replied, "More women for me," He grinned.
"Redheads aren't shutting you down though are they Mer?" Izzie teased.
"I'm growing as a person," Meredith said as the elevator dinged letting them off on their floor and heading to the resident's locker room. Izzie laughed as they entered the room where Cristina stood already dressed.
"Somebody got laid last night, not getting shot down anymore? Or was it the blonde from accounting again? I liked her." Meredith shook her head.
"Meredith is growing as a person Cristina, she's sleeping with redheads now," Meredith shot Izzie a look, silently begging her to drop it as she changed into her scrubs.
"Speaking of redheads, I heard Montgomery was pissed when she found out you're not with McDreamy anymore. Does he know you're a lesbian yet? Because I would pay to see that." Izzie mumbled something about Addison not being so pissed off now under her breath but no one noticed as Bailey entered the locker room effectively ending the conversation and the residents dispersed in opposite directions.
"Addison?" Callie questioned as she caught sight of her friend. "I thought your flight home was last night. What are you doing here?"
"I uh missed my flight," She mumbled.
"And why did you miss your flight?" She paused for a moment after the words left her mouth and realization hit her. "Oh my god, you got laid, you were too busy having sex to catch your flight." Addison nodded guiltily. "Not Mark right?" She asked hopefully.
"Didn't you leave with Mark last night?" Addison snapped accusingly, the ortho surgeon nodded in understanding, suddenly realizing how silly it was for her to accuse Addison of sleeping with the man she'd gone home with. "It was the best sex ever, like absolutely mind blowing Callie," She spilled grabbing her friend's arms in a vice grip. "We did it in the shower this morning, and oh god I feel like a horny teenager, and don't tell Derek I'm here, or Mark, Mark can't know he'd just, don't let them find out, I just need to see," She was cut off by her friend.
"Who do you need to see, I'll get them for you, I won't tell Derek or Mark, just tell me."
"Oh god Callie," She inhaled deeply before continuing, "Meredith Grey, I had sex with Meredith Grey." The words were spoken so softly that Callie had barely heard them. "And god I want to do it again," She whispered.
"I will get her for you," Callie responded and Addison nodded desperately in thanks before heading to the nearest on call room, which was thankfully empty.
"What's the emergency Callie?" Meredith asked when she arrived a few minutes later.
"Your girlfriend is waiting for you," She said pointing to the on call room as she spoke.
"Girlfriend?" Meredith questioned.
"Addison," She stated as if it was the most obvious thing ever.
"But we weren't going to meet until lunch."
"Oh I think she wants an early lunch," Callie responded suggestively causing the second year resident's eyes to widen in surprise. "And she's kind of my friend so I don't think I need to tell you," Meredith cut her off with a quick shake of her head. "Just make sure you lock the door." With that the ortho resident walked off.
"Addie," Meredith gasped as she opened the door to the on call room and the woman in question pinned her to the door. Her lips crashed against the blonde's as she pulled her into a fierce kiss. Her tongue exploring the younger woman's mouth causing her to moan in pleasure at the contact. The blonde somehow managed to lock the door she was pressed against before busying herself with the removal of the redhead's clothes. "God you are so wet," She hissed as her fingers slipped into her lover's panties. "We did this less than three hours ago, and yet here you are soaking wet, and I cannot say no." Addison had no idea how the young resident did it, but before she knew it she was on her back completely naked on one of the bottom bunks and two fingers were teasing her slit. The two digits swirled her arousal barely dipping into the redhead's needy core, Meredith then slipped the digits into her lover's mouth and she moaned as she tasted herself.
"Callie said my girlfriend was here," Meredith whispered as she removed her fingers from Addison's mouth and flicked her thumb over her clit causing the woman to groan in frustration. "Do you want to be my girlfriend Addison?" Another whimper was her only response as she continued teasing her sex with her right hand. "Girlfriends come to see you at work when they're horny and pull you into on call rooms, so I think you want to be my girlfriend." Addison didn't say anything, "You have to give me something here Addie, because I don't know what you want."
"Yes," She whimpered, "I want to be your girlfriend," She moaned.
"Good, because now I can do this," She whispered and before the redhead knew it her girlfriend was topless and hovering over her teasingly in only a pair of panties. The blonde guided her breast through wet folds causing the redhead to gasp in surprise before thrusting the breast between Addison's parted lips. Her tongue swirled over the arousal coated nipple as Meredith leaned over whispering in the redhead's ear, "You taste so good Addie." She then took her lover's hand and slipped it into her wet panties.
"Oh god you're so wet," Addie gasped. When she removed her hand she took each finger between her lips separately and suckled each arousal coated digit. "You taste so good," She whispered as she licked the last bit off of her fingers.
"You taste better." Meredith's words ghosted over Addie's ear moments before her mouth was on the woman's sex. She licked her way up her lover's slit before thrusting two slender digits into her center. Her lips teased Addison's clit, suckling gently as the sensitive bud teeth grazing lightly over the sensitive flesh as her fingers worked their magic. It wasn't long before she had the redhead wriggling in pleasure as she climaxed.
"Mmm, that was amazing," Addie murmured as Meredith came up to kiss her and she tasted herself on the blonde's lips. "I never would have expected you to be all take charge in bed, I must admit that I like it though."
"I've been told that I'm bossy." She responded grinning. "Funny thing is, you were exactly what I expected, all sexy and take charge last night, and then you threw me against the door, like a woman that knows what she wants, but of course you wanted me between your legs, so you let me take charge. You get what you want, I get what I want, and you liked it."
"You've given this a lot of thought, getting me into bed I mean."
"Have you looked in a mirror lately Addie? Of course I think about getting you into bed even before I was a lesbian. The reality is so much better though." Meredith's words left the redhead grinning with confidence "You are so beautiful." The words were barely past her lips before Addison had flipped her onto her back and was grinning wickedly on top of her.
"I think it's time we get rid of these," Addie whispered as she removed her girlfriend's panties leaving the blonde complete naked underneath of her. Unfortunately her pager went off a moment later. "Karev has a piggyback surgery," She read disappointedly, "And you have the sparkle pager so it's yours if you want it." Addie sighed and made to get off of her girlfriend, but Meredith pulled her back.
"Alex can have it, I want you." She pulled the redhead's lips down to meet her own in a searing kiss. The sparkle pager was ignored as Addison had her way with her very naked girlfriend. It was almost 6 when it became relevant once again as it woke Meredith up. It was Derek asking where she was, he'd sent 4 other pages, all asking the same thing.
"Addie," She whispered to the redhead who was happily curled up next to her, smiling in her sleep. "Sweetie it's almost 6," She whispered, pressing her lips to the older woman's forehead. She sighed happily as she opened her eyes. "When is your flight?"
"Not until 10," She murmured. "We didn't do the talking thing, you kind of distracted me with the sexing thing. We need to do the talking thing Mer," She rambled.
"Then we'll do the talking thing," She said running her fingers through dark red locks.
"Stop that, it's distracting," She snapped, "What are we doing Meredith?"
"What do you want us to do Addison?" Meredith asked and Addison sighed in frustration. "Because I really like this, and I think you like this too, and this is like the best sex ever and I want to do it again, but you live in LA and I need a plane to see you, it's not practical, but I don't care. I want it, I want you, and I'm rambling so I need you to tell me what you want." Addison silenced her with a kiss.
"I want you too I want this, but we do live in two different places and I have a life in LA and you have one here and we can't just uproot our lives because we had sex. Incredible, mind blowing, best sex ever kind of sex, I really can't give the sex enough credit. You and me, it's strange, but I want us to try, the sex is too good not to try. We can talk and get to know each other and if it works, if we work, we'll deal with our geographical challenges. Are you in?" Meredith nodded, said she was in, and they sealed the deal with a kiss. "Are you actually going to call me?" She asked suspiciously.
"No. You are going to call me as soon as you get home so that I know you're alright, and I don't care if it's 4 when you finally get home, I am on call tonight and I just had a nap with my new girlfriend and I will be awake and happy to hear your voice." Meredith's pager went off again. "Your ex-husband is wondering where I am."
"Let him wonder a little while longer," Addison said. She kissed the blonde passionately and slipped two fingers into her center.
xxx
"Wow," Meredith gasped. It was 6:30 now and Derek had paged Meredith a total of 7 times asking where she was, each page had gone unanswered.
"I know definitely wow. I don't think wow even begins to cover it."
"We're good Addie, so good, but you have to go soon and I'm going to hate it, because this is just, I'm ready to give up the parts of my life that don't involve you, me and nudity."
"We need to get dressed," Addison giggled as they groped around in the dark searching for their clothes, before finally turning the light on.
"Hey, you have clothes." Meredith was giggling now. "You're going to call me right?" Addison nodded in response to Meredith's question, and she was rewarded with a kiss. "This is where we part," She whispered and Addison nodded sadly, neither wanted to move, they wanted the moment to last forever.
"Are we," Addie began, eyes watering as she spoke. "Are we you know, or are we uh," She couldn't bring herself to finish, but Meredith understood what she was trying to say.
"You want us to be right?" Addison nodded, "Then I am all yours, we are Addison and Meredith, we're us, we're not Derek and Addison or Derek and Meredith. Everything that happened with you and Derek and me and Derek is in the past now, any mistakes we made are too, let's just start fresh, like it never happened."
"You are full of surprises Meredith Grey," She whispered with a small smile, "And I am all yours, if you'll have me."
"Of course I'll have you," She whispered. "I am full of surprises aren't I? I mean I did kind of steal your husband, and then last night I told you I was a lesbian, and we had sex all night and then I turned down a cool surgery for you and now I'm saying comforting things about our relationship. Think you can handle the surprises?"
"Turning down a cool surgery is good for my ego, especially when my girlfriend is a second year surgical resident, and now you and Mark don't have to start a new club." Meredith gave her a quizzical look. "Did you think I didn't hear about the dirty mistresses club?" Meredith grinned. "I shot him down the other day," She explained.
"You know we never had any meetings right? Wait you turned Mark Sloan down two days ago and spent all day in an on call room with me? I have to rub that in his face, you are very good for my ego." Addison's expression fell at Meredith's words. "I don't kiss and tell Addie, but Mark Sloan is a notorious manwhore, and the nurses that are mad at him all knew what they were signing up for, and they're pissed, I get that, I understand why the girls at the bar are pissed too, but they knew what they were getting into. He promised them a good time and I'm sure he delivered. And I don't know what happened between you and Mark, but I get the feeling he promised you more than a good time." Addison nodded tearfully, "He hurt you, and he hits on you, and he's seen you naked, and I don't like guys that have seen my girlfriend naked and I don't like ones that have hurt you either." Meredith was rewarded with a kiss.
"He won't tell Derek if you do tell him, Mark, I," Meredith silenced the redhead with another kiss.
"If and when you are ready to talk about things with Mark, I will listen, but now isn't the time. Right now, I have to kiss you goodbye, and I don't want to say goodbye so I need you to kiss me." Addison wasted no time in complying to the blonde's wish, her hands settling on her girlfriend's waist as the blonde wrapped her arm around her neck. "You'll call me right?" Meredith asked again as they parted, and Addison nodded. "I have to go, and I'm going to miss you, but you call me, and we'll go from there." Addison nodded once again and gave the young woman another kiss before allowing her to leave.
"Derek has been looking for you all day," Meredith heard as she unfortunately stepped into an elevator containing one Mark Sloan. "Where have you been Grey?" She turned to face him fully, and he took in her appearance and her wicked grin. "My favorite dirty mistress has been doing the dirty all day, I approve."
"My redhead from last night, followed me to work and I don't know why I wasted my time with blondes. Redheads are really the only way to go," She said as the elevator opened and as she stepped out, she swore she heard Mark say, "God I miss Addison." And she smirked all the way to the resident's locker room.
"Jealous Grey?" Alex asked the moment he saw her. Last time he had tried to brag about the smell of heart surgery, she'd almost hurt him, so this time he took a different approach, "You smell like sex." She grinned.
"All. Day. Long." She said pausing between each word for emphasis, and Izzie turned to look at her. "She followed me to work Iz, and I think I now have the sexiest sort of girlfriend in the world. And all the men who let her go are going to be so disappointed that they can't watch." No one else mentioned it, and Izzie and Callie kept the name of her sort of girlfriend to themselves. Addison did call when she got home from the airport and they did in fact go from there.
"I hate Mark Sloan," Meredith grumbled into the phone, not knowing that her girlfriend was grinning on the other end. "It's all his fault that we had to fill out these stupid sexual partner forms."
"Wait you had to fill out forms?" She was trying not to giggle at the blonde's expense.
"Yeah, about all the hospital employees that we've had sex with, and Derek and his stupid girlfriend," Addison cut her off.
"Why do you care about who Derek sleeps with?"
"I don't care who he sleeps with, I care that she stared at me while she filled the form out, it was uncomfortable, and I was already sitting at a table with Izzie and Callie, and George was there asking people to fill out sexual history forms. It is not about Derek. It was just really uncomfortable, and my girlfriend lives two states away and I can't have sex with her, which in case you didn't know is very frustrating." Addison chuckled and told her she understood. The talking thing was off to a good start.
"Maybe Izzie and Callie should have sex, it's really working for us," Addison added with a laugh a few minutes later, they ended their call later that night while they were still laughing, Meredith told Izzie that she and Callie should have sex the next day. Once the blonde realized that her friend was joking she started laughing as well.
Meredith woke to the sound of her phone ringing, she groaned and hit her head on the bookshelf she had fallen asleep against and she grunted into her phone when she finally answered her phone.
"You didn't call me, you promised you would call, I fell asleep waiting for you to call, why didn't you call?"
"Addison?" She blinked a few times and rubbed her eyes sleepily knocking a book off of her shelf and onto her head in the process. "Ow!" She yelped as it landed.
"Why didn't you call?" Addison asked once again.
"Addison what time is it?" She asked completely ignoring her girlfriend's question.
"It's 5:32 why didn't you call?" She continued pressing for an answer.
"Shit, shit, shit I fell asleep in the research library," She groaned. "If it makes you feel any better a textbook hit me in the head, that can be my punishment for not calling." Meredith was sure that Addison was smiling in LA she swore she could hear it over the phone even if it was silly. "Sorry I didn't call, but your voice is really nice to wake up to."
"You really know how to sweet talk a girl Grey." Addison was definitely smiling in LA.
"Well I have to because I have less than 28 minutes to put these books back and write down a few notes and give my interns their assignments and I don't think I'm gonna be able to get coffee, so I am going to have to sweet talk you into letting me call you back."
"You'll actually call?"
"Yes I will as soon as my interns are taken care of and I have my mocha latte I will call you." Addison accepted her answer and they said their goodbyes. Meredith's latte did have to wait until after she was done bossing her interns around and once she had her caffeinated beverage she was dialing her favorite redhead when Derek appeared eager to ignore the fact that she was on the phone.
"I'm on the phone Derek we'll talk later," She said as she walked away from him but he followed after her asking about the research until she stepped into the ladies room where Callie Torres stood washing her hands. The ortho surgeon took in the sight before her, Meredith was pressed against the door breathing deeply, coffee cup in one hand phone in the other.
"Hi Addison," Callie said as she took the phone from the blonde's hand. "You should know that your girlfriend is hiding from your ex-husband in the ladies room." She said before handing the phone back to the second year resident and stepping out of the bathroom. Addison could hear Callie tell Derek that Meredith was talking to her girlfriend and would like some privacy. Meredith stayed hidden in the bathroom feeling mortified.
"Addison we did it! We saved someone!" She exclaimed excitedly into the phone.
"That's great Mer," She said adjusting to the surprise of this phone call.
"And I am taking a few days off to come see you. I'm also planning to drink lots of champagne with Derek right now as we celebrate lucky 13. I miss you Addie."
"I miss you too, you're really going to come visit?"
"Yes as soon as possible, but I have to go now and celebrate but I will come and see you very soon."
"Derek, remember when I hid from you in the ladies room and Callie came out and told you I was on the phone with my girlfriend?" He simply nodded. "She meant my girlfriend, I am seeing someone, a female someone and it's kind of serious." Meredith told the neurosurgeon that evening as they celebrated their one success. He'd said something about them getting back together, and she had to set him straight. When it was finally time to see Addison she'd excitedly told her that Derek knew she had a girlfriend, that she'd finally told him. She hadn't mentioned that her girlfriend was his ex-wife, but she had told him that she was into women.
"Why did you and Derek really break up, was it because of the lesbian thing or was there something else?" Addison asked as she and Meredith curled up in bed together. The talking thing was nice it was really working out for them, especially considering the fact that Meredith's body was against her at the moment. She had taken time off to visit her girlfriend and instead of having sex, Addison was giving her ibuprofen and spooning her physically miserable girlfriend.
"It's complicated Addie, it just wasn't working out I mean one day we're dating other people and the next day he wants to build a house. I mean there are steps in a relationship and he just, he knows what he wants and I don't and he wanted me to know what I wanted and want what he wanted because he wanted it, it just wasn't working and then there was the lesbian thing too."
"So you don't know what you want?"
"I know I want you," Meredith whispered. Things were silent between them after that. "It's okay if you know what you want Addison, I just can't do that right now. It was like running up the stairs and when you skip steps you fall. I do want things I just can't skip all those steps Addie." The redhead nodded in understanding.
"If I told you what I wanted would that scare you away?" Meredith shook her head.
"As long as you don't want to get married and build houses and have babies," Meredith stopped upon seeing Addison's expression, "Right now, I think we'll be fine. It's okay if you want those things Addison, I'm just not ready for those things right now. I like this what we're doing now, Derek put a rush on things that was the problem, and you know I'm dark and twisty and according to the psych textbook I have abandonment issues and my therapist would say that I have daddy issues and mommy issues."
"We all have issues Meredith," Addison said with a smile. "Do you want to have children?" The redhead had to know, she knew Meredith had parental issues, but she had to know if she wanted children.
"I'm pretty sure my father is an alcoholic and the chief and I washed my mother's ashes away in the scrub room for OR 4. I chose to become a surgeon because my mother said I couldn't do it, I know that I want you Addison, and I get the feeling that you want children and if we become serious then that's what I want too. And I'm already out to prove that I can be as good as my mother in the OR I'd like to think I could be a better mother."
"Just not right now?" The. blonde nodded, "So Derek's an ass?" Meredith grinned at her girlfriend's words.
"Yeah I guess he kind of is, but you know in the way that he's my friend and I kinda love him. He's kinda like my gay best friend except he sleeps with women and wants to have sex with me." Addison couldn't help herself as she fell into a fit of laughter with her girlfriend.
The five days they spent together in LA may have been sexless but when Meredith had to return to the reality of surgical residency at Seattle Grace Hospital she felt that she knew the woman she called her girlfriend better. Addison had opened up about Mark, and in turn Meredith made a note to tell her girlfriend every embarrassing thing that happened to the man and make jokes at his expense. It might be strange for them to be together considering the way that they met, but it seemed like they really fit well together. There was an understanding that Meredith wasn't ready to get married and live happily ever after, but she was trying to make things work at a more suitable pace. She called to tell her girlfriend she had gotten home safely and they continued their over the phone relationship.
"So remember that time when I came to LA to visit you and I was a menstrual mess and we didn't have sex?" Meredith asked when Addison answered her phone.
"You know hello Addison works well too Mer."
"Hello Addison, I'm horny and I miss you." She could hear her girlfriend laughing on the other end and while the redhead found the situation amusing she couldn't resist her horny long distance girlfriend. She told her all the dirty things she would do to her if they were together in that on call room in Seattle and she couldn't help but finger herself when Meredith returned the sentiment. She imagined her fingers were those of her lover and bit her lip hard as she came.
"I never do things like this Meredith, what are you doing to me?" She whispered, "I miss you too you know, call me later?"
"You can count on it Addie, enjoy the rest of your day." They disconnected and as Meredith went to leave the on call room she ran straight into one Mark Sloan.
"Who is in there with you Grey?" He asked looking over her shoulder into the empty room. "That was all you?" Her cheeks were a little flush and her hair was a mess oh god. She didn't have time to think about it though as Mark noticed the phone in her left hand. "Oh that is so hot!"
"Get the dirty out of your eyes Mark, there will be no threesomes, there will be no more boys and their stupid boy parts I am only having sex with women and I really like this one, so you will not be suggesting this again because it won't happen, ever." She paused for a moment before adding "And you can't watch!" He shrugged said that it was disappointing but seemed to accept her response and he walked away. When Meredith came home that night Addison was naked in her bed.
Meredith called Addison when Derek spent the night with her, she'd complain about his morning breath and how he couldn't handle her snoring, but that he was warm and cuddly and not in LA. Sometimes Izzie slept with Meredith too, and the blonde told her girlfriend about it. She told her that Derek had tried to get Mark to sleep with Cristina because Meredith was always on the phone with her person as they read her mother's old journals. She didn't neglect to mention the fact that Cristina had ignored all of his come on attempts. They'd had a good laugh.
Things were pretty perfect until Addison set foot inside of Seattle Grace Hospital again, this time with her sick brother and a desire for Derek to play God. Callie had said something about her happy Vegas bubble with George after they were married and how coming back to the hospital had burst that bubble, and Meredith had a feeling that reality was about to come crashing in on her.
"Addison didn't tell me she had a brother." The words spilled out of Meredith's mouth when she found out that Addison was there with her brother.
"Why would she tell you?" Then Cristina froze as realization hit her. "So Addison is your super secret girlfriend, there really is never a dull moment with you." Then there was the redhead's brother.
"You're just another surgery hungry surgical resident, and you're sleeping with Derek so if he does the surgery you're in, and I'm not having the surgery."
"You will have the surgery, and I will convince Derek to do it if your sister can't, and I will be in the OR, and I am not sleeping with Derek." She was firm in her words. "You will do this for Addison, she's praying and you're her brother," Archer cut her off.
"And you're Addie's mystery girl," He said. There was no further argument, Derek was going to do the surgery. Meredith spent the half hour following the agreement that surgery would in fact be performed holding her girlfriend in an on call room in a desperate attempt to sooth the woman. She spent even more time trying to comfort the woman in the time between the end of the surgery and when her brother woke up. Callie had come to inform them of the good news while Addie slept in Meredith's lap.
"You were just saying that because I said something about Lexie right?" Addison asked as she sat down with Mark at the Emerald City Bar. "Meredith said they were just friends."
"Come on Addison you knew it was going to happen eventually and that was the last time you were here things have changed since then, she claims she's a lesbian, but they practically live together now. I know it sucks that he's moving on first," He couldn't say anything else as Addison cut him off.
"They're not together," She whispered desperately, "Meredith promised that it was over." Realization hit Mark at Addison's words, but he didn't have time to say anything as Meredith herself walked in.
"Hey I heard you guys were over here so I thought I'd come and tell you Derek got pulled into surgery said he's sorry, and you Addison," Meredith started with a smile reaching out for her girlfriend's arm. "Your brother said he's feeling good and that you should stop worrying."
"Don't touch me!" Addison exclaimed bitterly.
"Addison what's wrong?" She reached out to touch the woman again and she pulled away angrily. "Did I do something?" Meredith asked worriedly.
"You're a liar, you said it was over, but you're living together and he's planning to propose," Her friends were silent as she stood there voice shaking as she spoke. Anger was apparent and she looked like she might cry and Meredith stood there trying not to laugh.
"It's funny, this is funny. Derek stays with me a lot, but you know that because I tell you when he stays with me, and your friends, they think I'm the whore that stole your husband and they've been treating me like that since they've been here. You've done nothing to make them think otherwise and I think I've been understanding. You didn't tell me you were coming and I understood because you were scared your brother was sick, you didn't tell me you had a brother and I get that because family isn't something we talk about. But calling me a liar when I had to have an excuse to come over here and I can actually see the lightbulb going on over Mark's head right now. He didn't know you were my hot redhead because I'm only allowed to be your girlfriend in a locked room in the dark, so maybe I'll just leave and I can be your ex-girlfriend." Meredith turned and walked out with tears in her eyes.
"You really screwed up there Addison," Mark finally said as the silence became unbearable. "Can't believe I missed that, all the hot redhead comments in the elevator I guess Erica and Callie distracted me," He said somewhat disappointed that he'd missed this latest development. "Derek thinks she's making you up, because friends tell each other about who they're dating and she won't give him any details about you and I get that, but you, you let them think, and that's your girlfriend. Fix it."
xxx
There was a blonde sitting next to Meredith, she had her hand on the surgical resident's thigh and was whispering something suggestive in her ear. The blonde was young.
"Can't a girl drink in peace? I'm not interested," Meredith snapped causing the young woman to jump up and walk away dejectedly, leaving Meredith alone at the bar she hadn't set foot in since she went home with Addison six months ago. "Jen can I get another?"
"You've been here for an hour and you've already had half the bottle Mer," She responded softly.
"Maybe you should slow down," Addison whispered, slipping onto the stool the young blonde had just vacated. Meredith didn't even turn to look at her.
"Get me a beer," Jen nodded hoping that the pair would talk if she left them alone for a few moments, but the blonde continued to ignore the redhead she'd spent the past hour complaining about, until Jen returned with her beer. Meredith really had no intention of drinking the beer, she just wanted to have something to busy her hands. "Jen, is my ex-girlfriend sitting next to me, or did I just get into a fight with my girlfriend? I'm a little fuzzy on the details, but I know I haven't shut up about her since I got here." The young bartender looked between the two women before responding to the blonde's question.
"I think you and your girlfriend had a fight, and she's here to apologize."
"Is that what happened Addison?" She asked, finally turning to look at the redhead.
"I think that's what happened and I am here to apologize, and take you home, let me take you home Mer, let me take care of you," She whispered. Their eyes locked, sad blues meeting apologetic grays, and they stayed there staring at each other on their bar stools before Meredith held out her hand, and Addison took it and they stepped down from their stools together hand in hand.
"I'm sorry too Addie." Addison led her out of the bar and they went home hand in hand. Addison held her drunk girlfriend as they slipped into bed that night. "I wanted to tell you something, but I think it's a sober talking thing," She slurred as she snuggled into the redhead. "I like talking to you Addie." She was smiling as she spoke and soon after the room was filled with the sounds of her snores.
The following morning, Addison found herself holding blonde locks as her girlfriend empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet. "If I feel this way after all of our fights, I'm breaking up with you for real," Meredith groaned as she flushed the toilet.
"But we can also have makeup sex," Addison whispered suggestively much to the delight of the hungover blonde. "Last night you said we needed to sober talk, do you want to talk now?" Meredith shook her head in response.
"I wanna get to the makeup sex part," She said with a wicked grin.
"Brush your teeth."
"Then makeup sex?" The blonde question with a grin, temporarily distracted from her hungover. The redhead nodded and said "And then makeup sex." Meredith was happy to comply to her girlfriend's wishes as she brushed her teeth and then went a little overboard with the mouthwash before returning to the redhead that was now sitting in her bed. "So about the makeup sex," She teased. Addison pulled her into her arms and began peppering kisses along the blonde's exposed neck.
"You were a very good girlfriend yesterday, even with the yelling which I totally deserved, I shouldn't have let Mark," She paused for a moment before continuing "It's just that I've been a cheater and I've been cheated on, and..." Meredith silenced her, placing her index finger on the redhead's lips.
"It's okay Addie, we're making up now, nothing else matters," She whispered removing her finger as she continued "Now please, I like the kissing." Addison was left grinning at the woman in her arms. She pressed her lips against the blonde's temple before resuming her assault on the blonde's neck. Meredith's eyes closed as she gave into the warm sensation of perfect lips against her neck and perfect teeth nibbled at her earlobe. "Oh god Addie, I love you." The words left her mouth and her eyes were wide in shock a moment later. Addison stopped what she was doing, and the moment their eyes met, Meredith squeezed her eyes shut in fear. "Oh god I, can we just," Addison stopped her with a loving kiss.
"I love you too," She whispered the moment they parted. Clothes were thrown away and as they touched nothing else mattered, the rest of the world could wait.
"My guy is kicking your guy's ass," Alex said with a smirk as they went to scrub back in.
"I think you're confused as to where my loyalties really lie."
"You and Addison?" Meredith simply smiled as her roommate finally realized that the redhead was her secret or perhaps not so secret girlfriend.
"What happened in that OR today, that can't happen again, I can't be between you and Derek in that situation, I just can't do it again. I can't be away from you, I am stupid in love with you, but in the operating room Derek he's mine and having you there complicates things and I can't do my job and I know that you were right, but you can't be all scalpel happy while I'm trying to talk him down. And you can't say Meredith like that because I love you and reasons." Addison put her arms around her girlfriend effectively ending her rant
"I understand," She whispered.
"No, no you don't, because I love you, but I love neurosurgery too so in the OR I love Derek. And the chief thinks it is too early in my training to specialize but I want the brain. I can't be a general surgeon. I just can't be Ellis Grey's daughter, and I told my mother I wanted to find a cure for Alzheimer's and I do and I want neurosurgery and Derek is neurosurgery, but I can't be here, because I need to be with you, I miss you like crazy when you're not here and I need time to figure things out because I can't choose, I want you and I want the surgery."
"Relax Mer and just tell me what you're trying to say, no rambling."
"This isn't working anymore, you in LA and me in Seattle, and this can't happen again, I can't be in the OR between you and Derek, but I need time to finish this year of residency and find a place."
Addison cut her off, " You mean you'll move to LA? For me?" She never expected to hear that and when Meredith simply nodded and smiled she had never been so happy.
"Quitting, Running, Hiding by Meredith Grey? I think that's your book Derek, isn't that what you did to Addison when you came out here and met me? You quit your marriage and ran across the country and hid in the woods!"
"Don't bring Addison into this!" He shouted, not forgetting her presence in the surgery that had been his downfall. Meredith knew he wouldn't say it out loud, but he blamed her. She had made him feel like God and then she'd brought him crashing back down to earth because he put her and her brother ahead of his pregnant patient.
"But she is in this Derek, she will always be in this. You didn't tell me you had a wife she's why Meredith and Derek don't work, I'm in love with her Derek! She's my secret girlfriend the one I didn't want to tell you about because you're my friend and I didn't want to hurt you, and I know there is a ring, but I love her the way I can't love you. I want to do all those things you wanted the day after we stopped seeing other people but I want them with her because I am in love with her. She will always be between us and I'm sorry that, that hurts you, but she is so don't say that I'm quitting and running and hiding because those are your tricks Derek Shepherd and I wont accept your bullshit tonight. You are going to pull yourself together and get back to being the man that I admire in the OR." She spoke firmly, she wouldn't be accepting anything less than this man's best.
"You love her?" He had never expected her to say that.
"I do, I'm absolutely crazy about her and I'm planning to move to LA to be with her, Meredith Grey is making plans. And I'm not going to quit on you right now because I know you need me, and I'm not running from the situation and I'm not hiding my relationship anymore. I love her, but you are still my friend Derek and Mark is kinda afraid you'll punch him again if he tries to talk to you right now so you've got me." He didn't say anything he just allowed the blonde to wrap her arms around him and lead him inside and into his bed. She threw her leg around him along with her arm and lay half on top of him, just holding him in place.
"How did this happen Meredith? You and Addison?"
"How did we happen Derek? We had a few drinks and I took her home with me and as crazy as it sounds, against all odds, we fell in love."