Hello readers! So, this is another SWAC fic. I've planned for five-ish chapters, so it's fairly short. Another Channy, I'm afraid. What can I say? ^^ The song that kind of inspired this story is Field of Innocence by Evanescence – not really very well known as it was a song on their first album – kind of a test album, as not very many copies were made. Quite a haunting song, really. Not the kind of stuff I usually listen to. Lately I've taken to writing darker stories - don't know why as my mood is improving :p Maybe I just write darker stories when I'm happier to balance out.
Chapter 1
A delicious wave of pain slashed along her arm, fire and ice, burning, destroying, yet welcoming, sweet. The scarlet blood began to trickle, to splash, the burning began to flame, the pain intensifying. She smiled in satisfaction, hazel eyes bright and chestnut hair tumbling over her shoulders. The silver blade flashed again, marking its path parallel to the other; two neat red lines running down her forearm, blood welling and spilling along the length. Her grip on the knife slipped; it fell to the tiled floor with a clatter, mingling in the scarlet spatters. She watched the blood fall with vindication. Her blood. Not his. Hers. As the fire died, so did the spell. The haze surrounding her thoughts, clouding her mind, cleared. Methodically, systematically, she picked up the knife, running it under the tap, watching as the bubbling water ran red, mopping up the blood on the floor, letting the water wash over her cuts until they remained no more than puckered lines. Job done, she slumped on the cool tiles, resting her head on her knees. Cutting wasn't the best way of keeping control, even she had to admit it, but it was the most satisfying, most rewarding. Her knife biting into her soft skin, the power she held over her own life, the decision, the deluded notion that she actually had a shred of control. So many months ago, it had begun. That girl she used to be, the one she lost somewhere. Happy, smiling, cheerful. That girl couldn't have been more different from the Sonny Munroe now. And it had all come down to one boy. Self-absorbed, stuck-up, egotistical Chad. Chad Dylan Cooper. How she could ever have been as out of her head to even consider falling in love with a jerk like him was thankfully still a mystery. Nevertheless, despite it all, she had. It hadn't come to much in the end. Chad Dylan Cooper, being Chad Dylan Cooper, had so easily tired of plain old Sonny. He had left her behind in the space of four short months, thrown her out with the trash. That was all he was to her. Trash, waste, to be recycled and thrown away again by some other fool. Then the cutting had begun. From there, things had only got worse. Gone was 'sunny little Sonny' or 'Sonshine' as so many people had called her. Her wardrobe had got noticeably darker, with purples and blacks dominating the colour scheme. Mascara accompanied lacy, ribboned shirts and armwarmers. Jeans even in the heat of summer. Hair dye. People had started to talk, to whisper about the marks that seemed permanently engraved in her arms. There wasn't any use in trying to cover them up with jackets. That just made people talk even more. Pretty soon, she was sure that everyone in Hollywood must have known that Sonny Munroe was self-harming. Not that it mattered anymore. She had gone past the point of no return a long time ago. The girl she had used to be had vanished, disappeared the moment Chad Dylan Cooper walked out of her life. And she would never forgive him for that. Never. After so many months, the memories still haunted her. Of course, how could she ever forget?
"Chad?"
Her mind raced frantically, trying to process what he had just said. None of it made sense. How could he just stop loving her? Didn't he want her anymore? How could someone just decide to fall out of love? Or had he been pretending the whole time? Was every kiss a lie? Every hug? He watched her through ice blue eyes as she struggled.
"It has to stop, Sonny. You. Me"
Her voice grew more urgent, pleading. This was all a nightmare, just some crazy dream. It wasn't real. It couldn't be real.
"Why are you doing this, Chad? Why?"
He said nothing, keeping his expression carefully neutral.
"Goodbye, Sonny"
He turned away, clearing his head of all thought of her, his only drive to get as far away as possible.
"Chad?"
She watched him as he stopped, her heart jumping with the deluded notion that she had actually got through to him, falling again as he took a step away. She stretched a trembling hand out to him, begging to God for him to stop, to say something, to tell her he still loved her. Anything? Of course, there was nothing. She fell to her knees with a 'thump' a sob tearing from her lips and echoing round the room, filling her heart with despair. As he disappeared out of sight, reality set in. Tears blurred her vision, her heart slamming painfully in her chest. He was gone. And he was never coming back.
One of my shortest chapters ever ^^ Tell me if you think I hit the right note on the cutting part, or whether it was rather disturbing. :p