My Favorite Accident
by amplified ecstasy
chapter one: the Personal Hitman

While I knew deep down inside that the Undertaker would return that night, I had no idea how to prepare myself for what was about to happen. Jeff Hardy had lost his match and CM Punk was now standing over his motionless body, holding the title up in the air. It didn't even seem to faze him that the entire Staples center was booing for him. I watched Punk intently, watching him revel in his win.

He deserved it, I decided from my spot behind Lillian. I guess I should explain why I'm sitting on the floor with Lillian and Justin Roberts, watching like a little kid in a candy store. I was lucky enough to be chosen by Vince McMahon and Lillian Garcia to be the new announcer on Monday Night Raw once Lillian had her final show. I was there for Summerslam to learn the ropes. Quite literally, because for one match, I stood in the ring with Lillian and she told the fans that I was the replacement and told them to be nice to me.

So, that's why I was sitting there in such close proximity to CM Punk. Hell, Randy Orton had actually pushed me aside in his rush to grab his WWE title from Justin that I felt honored. While I watched the lights flicker on and off, I simply disregarded it and looked at Lillian who looked transfixed. I stood up and Justin grabbed my forearm. "You're about to witness history," he whispered, pulling me down into my metal chair again. I crossed my legs just as the entire Staples center went dark and bells tolled.

I gasped. I had no idea that the Undertaker was returning this way. Well, honestly, there were no other matches and I didn't really expect much else from the Phenom.

After ten seconds, the lights flicked back on and Punk began to laugh, shaking his head. He didn't really look down and neither did I until I heard Justin laugh and saw Punk's eyes bulge.

Looking down to the mat, I spotted the massive chest that belonged to the Undertaker and watched silently as the man reached up and clenched his fist around the new World Heavyweight Champion's throat. The crowd went insane, their man was back.

I stared in amazement as the Undertaker threw Punk into a choke slam and looked down with no remorse. Shaking my head at the idea of how much pain Punk was in, the Undertaker left the ring and up the ramp. As the Phenom walked backstage, Punk moaned in the ring and we announcers were told that we were off the air.

"There's one more match," Justin said with a nod, handing me a microphone.

Horrified, I glanced at Lillian and she nodded assuring me that it was okay. "Divas are the easiest matches to announce," she nodded. "Just the name and the place they're from. Unless it's Mickie or Michelle," she said. "Which then you throw in the Diva's champion or Women's champion," she nodded gently. "You'll do fine," she said, pushing me towards the ring.

I stepped up the steps and pouted my lips while the referee parted the ropes for me. Mumbling "thanks", I walked to the center of the ring and cleared my throat before bringing the microphone up to my lips.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is set for one fall and is a 10 diva battle royal for the WWE Women's Championship," I said simply with as much gusto as Lillian would do.

The music of Michelle McCool hit and I smirked as the heel diva made her way to the ring.

"Making her way to the ring from Palatka, Florida – she is the WWE Women's Champion, Michelle McCool!"

As Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Beth Phoenix, Eve, Rosa Mendez, Melina, Mickie James and the Bella twins all entered the ring, I would announce them and when I was done, I fixed my white mini dress and slid out of the ring moving back to Justin and Lillian. They gave me the thumbs up and we made our way out of the front area, moving backstage with a few of the television announcers. Matt Stryker wrapped his arm around my shoulder and grinned innocently.

"Good job tonight," he said with a grin.

I smiled innocently and Justin moved so he wrapped his arm around my waist. "Hands off, Stryker," Justin said in a protective tone. "She's my prodigy."

Lillian cleared her throat and both boys let go of me. "She's my prodigy," Lillian cleared up before grinning. "C'mon, Ashley. Let's go introduce you to the guys you'll be working with all the time," she nodded.

We walked through the backstage area and she introduced me to John Cena, who was absolutely adorable, Randy Orton who apologized for the push earlier and Santino Marella.

I turned around to go to my locker room after I spoke to the guys, gasping when I ran into a brick wall.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I heard a deep rumbling. I knew the black unitard and I knew that I had run into the Undertaker.

I gasped and looked up at him, brushing a strand of my dark brunette hair out of my emerald eyes. "I – I – I –"I said.

"Mark!" Lillian said as I finally broke my gaze. "I don't know if you've met my latest girl," she nodded as Mark's eye lined eyes stared down at me with a modest look of disgust.

I froze in my spot.

"This is Ashley Edwards and she's Raw's new announcer," she nodded.

Mark merely grunted. I didn't know if he cared particularly. Especially since he was on Smackdown in the first place, but to my surprise, he reached out and offered me his hand.

Nervously, I reached out and shook it gently. "Nice to meet you," I said cordially.

At six foot ten inches, Mark towered over my five foot three frame. He was a giant, straight up.

"Nice to meet you too," he said, but I could feel that it was a bit forced. Maybe he was only being nice to me because I had Lillian right next to me.

Letting my hand slide out of his massive paw, I smiled up at him nervously. "You're on Raw, then," Mark said tentatively. I nodded softly.

"I'm going to be going to Raw a few times in the next few months," he said softly. "You might want to get my stats down," he nodded gently.

"Okay," I said softly. It was practical for the entire roster to be memorized, even people on the reserve list. I didn't know anything about the Undertaker other than he was huge and scary.

"Well," Lillian said. "We have a flight to catch, we'll see you around, Mark!"

Mark nodded and leaned against the wall while Lillian and I walked back to our room.

"He's scary," I said simply.

Giggling, Lillian handed me my bag. "Mark?" she asked. "He's a teddy bear," she nodded. "But he does have kind of a temper in him," she nodded. "I remember one week on Raw; he was visiting Kane, and it wasn't even in the storyline but Taker just unloaded on the referee. Rumor was that Mark's wife said she wanted a divorce that afternoon," she said.

"So, he's single?" I asked casually.

Lillian tisked her finger at me, "No relationships," she said.

"What about you and the Rock?" I countered quickly.

"Duane and I," Lillian said, shouldering her own bag and leading us out of the room and down the cement hallway. "We were different," she said.

"How so?"

"That's for us to know and you to never find out," she said before giving me a wink. "Besides," Lillian said. "Mark isn't… the most romantic guy on the roster," she said. "You'd be better of with someone like Evan Bourne or… Edge," she nodded.

I scrunched my nose up. I was twenty-four, so for Lillian to recommend the younger Bourne and then the crazy, egomaniac that was Adam "Edge" Copeland, I shook my head. "I don't know," I said.

"Romance in this business is hard to find," she nodded. "Except for the rare occurrences," she stated.

"Like?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow as we slid into the limo that was waiting to take us to the airport. We left Justin behind due to the fact that he wasn't coming to Las Vegas like we were for RAW. He was going to stay behind in LA for Smackdown's taping on Tuesday.

With a soft smile, Lillian shrugged. "Well, Stephanie and Triple H are like, the holy grail of romances that spring from work. I mean, that is the NUMBER one you know of off hand. Then there's the little… fling that Chris Jericho had with Kelly but other than that, there aren't that many. Melina and Batista… me and Batista," she rattled off. "All of the WWE relationships that actually last," Lillian said. "I can count on one hand."

"Well, maybe something will happen and you can add one more," I said with a soft laugh. She smirked and left the conversation with that. With a soft grin, I leaned back and dazed off.

--

The next night was pretty insane, I thought as I sat backstage at the arena in Vegas. I was sitting with Santino and Randy; who were making jokes about the guest host, Floyd "Money" Mayweather. "At least he could take out the Big Show," I heard from behind us. I turned and saw Chris Jericho with his title belts held over his shoulder.

"Yeah," Randy said as he turned his head to stare at the cocky male. "With brass knuckles," he nodded. "Hey, Ashley, I'll see you later girl, I've gotta go fight," he said, leaving me.

"If I remember correctly," I stated, glancing at the Big Show that came up behind Jericho. It was like Chris hired him to be his own personal hit-man. Santino seemed amazed that on my first real night as a WWE employee, I would give a superstar shit. Not to say he wasn't proud, though. "When you were the Intercontinental Champion, the Big Show challenged you," I rattled off.

"And you got knocked out," I said. "And then bitched about the next week," I smirked. "Interesting," I nodded in "hello" to the Big Show who gave me a glare like the Undertaker did the night before. I seemed to be jaded to it seeing as I didn't flinch or anything.

Before I knew it, the Big Show was in my face glaring down at me and I could only look back up at him. Fear flooded through my veins but I didn't move. I let out a soft sigh as I felt a strong hand on my shoulder. I figured it was Santino but the Show didn't look down at the man behind me. He actually had to look forward.

Feeling the curiosity get the best of me, I turned and looked up seeing Mark standing with me, a glare on his face as he stared at Chris and the Big Show.

"What seems to be the problem?" he asked the two champions. Chris began to look a bit flustered while Big Show stood his ground.

I shrugged my shoulders but Mark's hand stayed planted on it. "We were just talking," I said innocently.

Big Show turned to look down at me and gave a dangerous look before rolling his eyes and walking off. "Thank God I don't really have to deal with you – just announce me the right way and we'll be fine." he called out. "And don't get in my way."

Chris followed like a sick puppy and when they were gone, Mark finally released my shoulder. When he let me go, I mentally melted and I leaned against the wall out of fear.

"You've got to watch your mouth around here," Mark said in a warning tone like he was a father, scolding me. He even went so far to wag his finger in my face.

I shrugged. "I can't help it!" I said simply, shaking my head. "I'm a Jersey girl!" I informed him. "If someone steps up to me, then I'm gonna step back," I said. "Don't judge me," I shot, pushing his hand out of my face. He looked like he was ready to sucker punch me but I stood my ground.

"Those aren't little Jersey girls," Mark snapped. "They're trained professionals that will tear you apart if they get the chance," he said.

"I'm a big girl," I stated harshly. "Don't worry about me," I snapped, moving from his grasp – I hadn't even noticed he grabbed my wrist in our little tift and walked towards the guerilla entrance where I met up with Kofi. He gave me a small smile and I nodded in "hello" before my new theme music hit.

The instrumental track of "See U in the Dark" by Honor Society hit and I skipped down the ramp, waving at the fans that had begun to cheer for me. Lillian announced me as her replacement and left the ring, I gave her a hug before I slid onto the mat. I was different than Lillian style wise, I was wearing a pair of stiletto heels with a pair of dark jeans and a silver top; Lillian was a rocker and I wanted to be just like a girl next door.

"What's up Las Vegas?" I asked rhetorically and the fans screamed in response. I smirked.

"Well, let's get this party started shall we?" I asked with a grin. Before I knew it, the theme for Legacy hit and Cody and Ted DiBiase Jr were walking down the ring.

"This match is set for one fall and is for the unified tag team championship." I announced. "Introducing the challengers at a combined weight of 439 pounds, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase; Legacy!"

Legacy entered the ring and Cody flashed me a smug smirk before nodding in a "hello", hitting all four corners. They were hated… but the people liked them more than the champions.

The mix of Jericho and Big Show's theme hit and I spoke again. "And their opponents, the WWE Unified tag team champions," I said. "Chris Jericho and the Big Show!"

I walked out of the ring and moved to where the bell was, watching the action first hand. This job was a dream that came true. I had watched wrestling since I was a little girl with my older brothers. They were super psyched that I got the job and I was sure that they'd be in the front row when Raw went to my home town of Jersey in a few weeks. As I watched, I saw Jericho point me out and motion the Walls of Jericho before I bit my bottom lip and rolled my eyes. He was all talk until he was alone, I figured. When he didn't have his body guard.

But really, wasn't I the same way? I spoke a big game but when I got into trouble, I was a pound of melted butter. Until Mark gave me the strength to keep spitting insults. I hadn't even really gotten to know the guy but I wanted him around. Especially if I were going to be getting threats from Jericho while he was in the ring.

I heard the King mention to the audience that I was just a rookie and I hadn't been with the company for more than two days and Michael Cole reminded the audience that Jericho was just off a win at Summerslam; perhaps that he was so cocky.

"Well," King said. "Cocky or not doesn't mean you can threaten the new ring announcer," he said with a roll of his eyes. He gave me a smile and I watched with a small smirk.

If Jericho wanted to start anything, I knew that Jerry the King would be behind me and willing to help me. But I couldn't help but wonder if Mark would come down and save me.

Save me, like I needed saving from Chris Jericho. He was only a few inches taller than me and I'm saying that only because of his hair style.

As the match went on, Jericho and Big Show both took their turns staring at me and giving me threatening looks and gestures. It was like they were using Ted and Cody as their dummies that I was supposed to believe were me. I pouted when Big Show pounded both of the boys into the mat at the same time. He then looked at me and gave me a faint smirk as if this were fun to him.

When Jericho threw the Codebreaker on Cody, Big Show came over to the side while their music hit and picked me up around the middle. I began to kick and scream and before I knew it, Jerry was trying to get me out of the Big Show's grip. He was met by a steel chair from Jericho who had cut his celebration short.

Big Show carried me into the ring and finally set me down while Jericho talked to the crowd.

"You see," Jericho said simply. "Ashley is the newest member at Raw and we decided we'd give her a little bit of a welcome wagon," he informed the crowd as they booed. This wasn't apart of the storyline, I thought. But then again, neither was me talking shit to the champs anyway.

The Big Show grabbed my throat and squeezed all the life out of my lungs as I was about to fall limp. He smirked and pulled me up into the air, ready for a choke slam.

"Now, hold on just one second," I heard Chris' casual tone say with a shake of his head. "Don't think that you're going to get away with doing all of the dirty work, Show.."

He put the microphone down and motioned for the Show to let me down. He did and Jericho smirked gently, taking my legs and wrapping them around his waist, twisting and put me in the Walls of Jericho. I yelled in pain and shook my head, hitting the mat out of instinct.

"Aww," Show said, "She's tapping out, how adorable!"

Jericho wrenched on my shins and I screamed in pain- the arena was silent now, in awe of what was happening to the newest Raw member. He let me go and Big Show choked me again, throwing me up in the air one more time.

The distinct sound of bells hit and the arena went dark. Automatically, Big Show's grip loosened and dropped me to the hard mat. The wind was knocked out of me and my lower back hurt like a bitch, but other than that, I was alright.

I bit my bottom lip in the darkness, scared as to what would happen. Would Mark come and hurt me too after what I said to him backstage? Tears came down my face and I began to look around nervously.

Suddenly, I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me and pick me up. When the lights hit, I saw the Undertaker and I on the megatron above us, he was holding me bridal style with a deadly glare pointed at Jericho and Big Show, who had ran up the ramp in fear.

"I don't know what you were thinking," he mumbled to me.

"I was doing my job!" I said, burying my head in his chest as he carried me out of the ring to the cheers of the fans. I was shaking and crying in the arms of a huge Goliath and surprisingly, he was holding me tighter to his chest.

He passed my locker room and moved to a room I didn't know existed, pushed the door open and shook his head at me while he sat me down on a wooden bench. He exhaled and I watched him intently.

"I told you that they were going to get you," he said simply. "They'll get anyone at anytime to further their career."

"But I… I'm just an announcer," I said.

"On the number one prime time, episodic television show in the history of sports," Mark complied.

I sighed and leaned back. "Ow," I mumbled.

"Walls of Jericho got you?" he asked me roughly.

"Yes," I said. "And the choke slam – and being jerked up to 20 feet high by you," I exaggerated as he moved to get me an ice pack.

"Keep this on it," Mark told me simply, shaking his head at me.

I did as he told me and watched as he pulled the straps of his unitard down. "You have to watch your back," he said simply.

"I tried to," I lied.

He opened his mouth to speak but looked to the door. Someone was knocking on it. He got up and motioned for me to stay put as he opened it up.

"Hey man!" a guy said.

"Shane, right now's not the time," he said simply, going to shut the door.

"I have a proposition for you," the man continued. "A three week story line with you and Ashley; you protect her and she starts fights. You can fight with anyone you want on the roster as long as Ashley starts the fight first," he said.

Mark looked back at me and before I could protest, I heard the words "Deal."