I got the idea for this from reading Shirosenshi Kisetsu 116's Answering machine saga. Sorry for any confusion before I added this. Anyway, on with the story.
Link's answering machine
Hey, this is Link. I'm out saving something. Leave a message.
(Beep)
Hey, Link, it's Zelda. I got kidnapped… Again. Save meee~!
(Beep)
Link, this is Dark. You'll never guess where Epona is.
(Beep)
This is Ruto. Are you avoiding me?
(Beep)
Oh my goddesses is this really Link's phone!? *Multiple squeals in backround*
(Beep)
Link… I swear I will kill you. HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY UNDERWEAR!!!
(Beep)
Hey, Link, wanted to tell you. You might get blamed for a panty party I threw. Later.
(Beep)
Ummm…. Link this is Malon. I'm pregnant. I'll tell you the details later. See you.
(Beep)
Link! Help me! I'm gonna be a dad!!! Help! Please!!!
(Beep)
Link, you promised to marry my daughter, Ruto. So get your butt over here.
(Beep)
Hey, incase you didn't know, that other message was from me, Dark.
(Beep)
*SCREEEEEEEEEECH* we will rape you Link. We, the Redeads, Shall succeed!!!
(Beep)
Link!!!!!! Damn you, the Redeads thought I was you!!!!!!! I barely got away! Kill them!!
(Beep)
Link, this is Ganon. Save me!!! The princess is horrible!!! She did horrid things. *Cries*
(Beep)
HEY!!!! JAKE!!!! I BLEW UP YOUR DRUM KI- ......Shit. Sorry. Wrong number....
(Beep)
That is the last of your messages. Press 1 t-
(Click)
Link just stood there staring at his phone when suddenly,
"Wait, phones haven't been invented yet!"
I'll make another chapter with someone else's messages, if I get enough reviews from people wanting that. Or a chapter about where Epona is. *Chuckles* Tell me what you would say if you called one of them by accident. Remember, cruel reviews make my brother cry. Constructive criticism makes him finally get a date. Anyway, that's the end, bai!