Just a little light-hearted thing I wrote while working on a longer one, inspired by something wuemsel said. Usual disclaimers apply, etc.
***
"Hey Hutch, what do you want for your birthday?" The partners were on duty, in Hutch's car, and Starsky was trying to pry this information out of Hutch in time for his birthday in a few weeks. Hutch was difficult to buy for and Starsky usually settled for getting something he would have liked himself.
"Nothing." Hutch's voice was firm, and he kept his eyes firmly fixed on the road.
"That's what you said last year."
"And I still want it."
Starsky used his best interrogation-gaze on Hutch. "Come on, you must want something. Everyone likes presents."
"Look, you like that sort of thing and that's fine, but doesn't mean I have to."
"What exactly you got against birthdays?"
"They're so... fake. Strangers who'd probably stab you as soon as look at you on any other day, suddenly wanna talk to you."
"You're exaggerating."
"No I'm not. These people would ignore you any other day, but they find out it's your birthday and then they wanna congratulate someone they don't even know. And that's just so they can get free cake. And then there's getting another year older, what's so good about that? And why should one day of the year be any different to all the other days?"
"Ah, come on, there must be something..."
"Well, there isn't."
"You know what? Sometimes you're really weird."
There was a subdued silence for a moment, and then Starsky glanced sideways at Hutch. "I don't just want you for your cake."
"Starsk, I told you I don't want anything!"
"Fine!" Starsky snapped back.
"Fine!" Hutch agreed.
The silence in the car descended once again, but Starsky couldn't keep it up for long. A sigh preceded his next sentence. "You're like this every year. Did you not enjoy your birthdays when you were a kid?"
"Starsky..." Hutch was so exasperated that he didn't finish the sentence, and just left his forefinger hanging in the air as a warning, while freezing his partner with his best icy glare.
Starsky gave up for now, although he silently vowed to himself that this wasn't finished, and began rummaging in the glove compartment.
Hutch noticed, and looked over at his partner in annoyance. "What are you doing in there?"
"I'm looking for something," came the grumpy reply.
"Looking for what?"
"Your sense of humour."
It took Hutch a moment to register what Starsky had just said, and when he did he tried hard not to smile. Another silent minute passed, then it was Hutch's turn to sigh. He glanced at his partner apologetically. "Starsk, don't think I don't appreciate your caring, buddy. I'm just really not interested. It's not a big deal."
We'll change that, Starsky thought, while outwardly he simply offered his partner an "Okay."
****
Starsky remained quiet for the rest of the day, but simply answered that he was fine when Hutch questioned him. Hutch feared he'd hurt his partner's feelings, and so as they headed back to their apartments, he poked Starsky's arm. "Hey, you wanna come up for a beer or something?" Hutch tried to make amends.
"Nah, thanks, that's okay. I got some stuff to do."
Hutch was disappointed, but didn't push it, and drove to drop Starsky off at his apartment, without another word until they arrived. "See you tomorrow, buddy," Hutch offered.
"Yeah, see ya." Lost in thought, Starsky forced Hutch's stubborn passenger door shut and disappeared.
Hutch watched him enter the building and then drove away, thinking. Why is it such a big deal to him?Then another thought answered the first, as though in conversation. He's only trying to do something nice. Because you're his friend. Great, now my own mind's making me feel guilty.
****
As Starsky picked Hutch up the next morning, he appeared to be back to his usual, bouncy self. He talked non-stop about some article he'd read that morning, which Hutch tuned out after ten minutes of rambling, and insisted on stopping for donuts.
They called in at the station, and Starsky headed for the coffee machine while Hutch headed to his desk. Hearing them arrive, Dobey opened his door. "Hutch, I want to see you for a minute," he ordered. "Not you Starsky," he added as Starsky moved to follow. Hutch glanced at Starsky in surprise, raising his eyebrows in question. Starsky raised his own eyebrows in answer and shrugged.
Hutch followed the captain into the office, closing the door quietly behind him. "Something wrong Cap?" he asked, frowning. Dobey rifled through the papers on his desk, coming up with an old report.
"You forgot to sign this one."
"Oh." Hutch picked it up and looked at it, then took a pen from the desk and scribbled his signature on the bottom. Handing it back, he asked "Was that all Cap?"
"Uh, I think so..."
Hutch made a move to leave, when Dobey spoke again. "How are your cases going?"
"Um, okay. We got some progress on the Green case. Starsky and I were gonna go check out the address we got today."
"Alright. Good. Well, that's all I wanted to know. Go on."
Thoroughly confused, Hutch backed towards the door, and left the room quietly. As he turned to close the door behind him, he was sure he saw Dobey wink at someone over his shoulder, but when he turned to look at the squad room, no one was looking in the direction of the office. Okay, that was weird. Looking back at Starsky, Hutch saw him whisper something to Minnie. Hutch snorted to himself; his partner was probably indulging in some harassment again.
Hutch headed over to his partner. "You ready to go?"
"Yeah. What did Dobey want?" Starsky pointed a thumb in the direction of the office.
"I'm not sure. He asked me to sign a report, then he made small talk."
"Weird."
"Definitely weird."
****
Having visited the address they needed for the case, they were headed back to the station. Starsky pulled up outside and followed Hutch into the building. As they passed a phone, Starsky stopped. Hutch stopped too. "What're you doing Starsk?"
"Just gotta make a phone call. Go ahead; I'll follow in a minute."
"Why don't you use the phone on your desk?"
"I wanna use this one. Go on."
"Sometimes, Starsk, you make no sense." However, Hutch did as he was told and started back to the squad room.
Starsky appeared there five minutes later, looking pleased with himself and stuffing a piece of paper into his pocket.
Hutch looked at him questioningly. "Okay?"
"Yep." Starsky sat down and pulled a sheet of paper towards him, beginning to make notes, as Hutch stared at him. Becoming aware of Hutch's gaze, he looked up again. "What?"
"Nothing. Just that you're quiet," Starsky opened his mouth to say something, as Hutch continued teasingly "it's not something we often get to enjoy."
"Oh, that's nice. And I was just about to ask you if you wanted a new car for your birthday. I'm sure I can find a few dollars to get you another dumpster-on-wheels."
Hutch closed his eyes for a moment. "Here we go again. You don't let up, do you?"
"Nope. Hey, what was the best present you ever got?"
"I don't know. Socks?"
"You don't really think that do you? Best thing I ever got when I was a kid was a bike. A red one." Starsky's eyes stared into the distance for a second, and then he looked at Hutch again. Pointing a pencil at him, he said sternly "Don't think this is the end of it."
Hutch held up his hands in mock-defence against the pencil, which Starsky threw at him. "Do some work, and we can get out of here sooner." They had some days off coming up, and Starsky was intent on using the time to best advantage, which did not include using the whole time to pester Hutch. Much to Hutch's relief, he didn't say another word about birthdays for the rest of the day, leading him to believe Starsky might have actually given up, and causing him to almost forget about it himself.
They had plans for the upcoming Friday, and both were looking forward to the time off. Before long they finished up what they were working on and made their way down to the car, and home.
"You still on for tomorrow?" Starsky asked as Hutch climbed out of the car.
"Sure," he answered, "see ya in the morning."
****
Hutch's phone rang early the next morning, waking him up. This better be important, he growled inside his head, and answered the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hutch? It's me."
"Who's me?"
"I am." Hutch rolled his eyes at that. Only Starsky would give such an annoying answer, if he hadn't known who it was already.
"Um, I think we're gonna have to change the plan for today. I think I'm getting a cold or something."
Hutch sighed, he was disappointed but it couldn't be helped. "Okay. You need me to bring anything?"
"No, thanks, it's fine."
After assuring Starsky that it was okay, Hutch put the phone down and lay there for a minute, before standing up with a sigh. He wouldn't be able to get back to sleep now anyway, so he may as well gather some supplies anyway and go visit Starsky.
****
Just over an hour later, Hutch arrived at Starsky's and got out, bringing his cold-supplies with him. He couldn't see the Torino, so he headed up to Starsky's door and, after knocking and deciding Starsky wasn't in, Hutch let himself in and sat on the couch to wait. That was where he found himself an hour later when he woke up suddenly to the sound of Starsky slamming the door behind him as he entered.
"Don't you have a home of your own to go to?" Starsky joked as he saw Hutch.
Hutch looked at him suspiciously. "You're not sick."
"Oh yeah? You wanna risk it?" Starsky sat next to Hutch and leaned nearer to him.
"Uh, no, that's okay. I won't risk it," Hutch said quickly, shoving Starsky away and standing up. "Well, I just came to see if you were okay."
"Well, I'll live. Thanks for dropping in."
"Okay. If you're alright I'll make a move. Got some other stuff I can be doing."
Hutch was still suspicious, and Starsky could tell. He spoke before Hutch could voice his suspicion. "Hey, maybe we can do something later?"
Hutch thought for a few seconds before deciding. "Yeah, alright. I'll call you." Still suspicious, he let himself out of the apartment and drove home.
****
The next few weeks passed uneventfully, until the day of Hutch's birthday. He had almost forgotten it himself, as Starsky had stopped going on about presents and birthdays, and gone back to enthusing about his usual favourite topics.
On the morning of the birthday, Starsky called Hutch and invited him over to his apartment that afternoon. Hutch was looking forward to it, as well as planning to explain his attitude more fully. Starsky was generous and loved to give things, and maybe he hadn't been fair to his kind hearted partner.
He arrived there on time and tapped on the door, before letting himself in.
Starsky looked up. "Oh good, you're here. I thought we could go through these case notes before tomorrow."
Hutch tried not to show his surprise. "Okay... so, you finally gave up pestering me, huh?" he asked, trying to sound casual.
"Oh..." Starsky looked alarmed. "You said you didn't want me to bother, so I thought..."
I asked for that, Hutch told himself.
Starsky couldn't hold his serious face any longer, and jumping up, he threw his arm around Hutch, giving him his trademark giant grin. "Course I didn't mean it you big dumb blond. Happy birthday."
Starsky had clearly been sampling his stock of drinks before Hutch arrived; he was even more enthusiastic than usual. "Do you know what you are? A Birthday Grinch. I gotta ask, Hutch, what do you really have against birthdays?"
"All the reasons I told you. Besides, they were never that good when I was a kid. My parents weren't even home some of the time."
Starsky considered that. "Well I'm home."
"Yeah, you are. I should have known, huh?"
"Yep. You should." Starsky cleared his throat loudly, grabbed Hutch, and announced "To prove that you're loved all year, not just this one day, I got you..." he paused to build suspense, "a years' subscription to Healthy Eating Magazine." Starsky waved the card that said so in Hutch's face.
Hutch was speechless. Starsky waited a few seconds, before he started to get concerned. "Well? Do ya like it?"
Hutch started to laugh. "Starsky, it's perfect."
"Yeah. Now, everyone else is coming over in a few minutes. Dobey's bringing cake."
"Aw, I knew you just wanted free cake," Hutch laughed. "Hey, speaking of Dobey... did you put him up to it? When he called me into his office and not you, and he was acting weird?"
"Yep," Starsky said smugly, "he distracted you so I could tell everyone else to come today."
"Oh, that explains it." Hutch nodded.
Starsky was trying to keep a straight face. "Of course, he really does just want the free cake."
At that moment, Dobey poked his head around the still-open door, and seeing the pair of detectives standing in the middle of the room giggling, the rest of him followed. "What's got you two so amused?"
"Nothing," they both said innocently.
"Good. Now, have you got a cake knife?"
The End
