Love
I have always had trouble with love, but today my troubles have only worsened. Today I woke up next to Lucius Malfoy; I woke up next to my brother-in-law. How this happened I couldn't tell you all I remember is being at the meeting last night and then having a couple of drinks in the parlor. Lucius of course was all worried with Narcissa being pregnant, he's afraid that the Order is going to kill her or something I try not to understand what the man thinks.
"Bellatrix you can't tell Narcissa you just can't." As he pulls out of his slumber and his gray eyes connect with mine I feel the guilt spread through me. He's not mine to play with he's Narcissa's and I know that. What's even worse is that he has to go home to her and she's pregnant, if she were to find out now I don't think Lucius would live.
"Believe me Lucius I won't say a word." I get up and pull on a robe. I move to the bathroom and stare into the mirror. What have I become, this monster that goes around ruling others. Yes I am pureblood and yes I am superior to others, but moving into bed with Lucius was crossing the line. Sleeping with the Dark Lord is fine, he is my master I must listen to him, but doing this to Cissy is a little insane. I feel the killer headache coming on and I make quick work going to the bathroom so I can just get my clothes on and leave this place. Riddle Manor is a nice place, but so much shit goes down here sometimes it's nice to get away. I walk out of the bathroom and Lucius is dressed.
"I'm sorry Lucius I was wrong." He looks at me with a surprised expression on his face.
"That coming from you Bellatrix is something I thought I would never hear." He grabs that silly cane of his, and apparates away. I lie back down on the bed, and stare at the ceiling. Last night was good and the guilt is seeping through me as I think that. How will I ever be able to face Cissy again after this? Rodolphus is much less then satisfactory and with the Dark Lord he often leaves me bleeding, but Lucius is the in between. He is gentle but also rough at the same time he's knows the limits, and isn't afraid to push them if needed be.
"Bellatrix, you're still here?" The Dark Lord enters the room and sits at the foot of the bed.
"Care to explain?" I just sigh he knows why I'm here. Even through my good occulmency he can see the scene from last night.
"No my lord I'll be out of your hairs in a minute." I get up and grab my clothes off the floor. I move back to the bathroom and quickly get changed. I look in the mirror again and turn away quickly. I hate looking at my face it is only the picture of a face with so much pain. I try not to love people, but it is just natural I can't help but love Lucius long blonde hair or Rodolphus' strong pointed jaw line. The Dark Lord though, what I love about him is that he owns everything and that includes his emotions. He knows not love and that can be the best thing because I feel helpless as a tear falls down my cheek. Love has caused this and love isn't good for me.