Author's Note: Tony in Somalia. My first story in quite some time. Also, I know that the italicized words aren't in the exact same order as they were in the episode, but they fit better this way. All mistakes are mine.
Originally was going to be just Tiva, but Michael Weatherly was so good in that episode that I had to make it a mostly Tony-centered fic, with just enough Tiva to put me into a good mood.
Italicized words: Lines from the episode. Sorry if they are not exact.
Summary: Somewhere, a clock is ticking. And you're not sure whose time is running out. Inspired by Somewhere a Clock is Ticking by Snow Patrol.
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"What are you doing here?"
He's not exactly sure. Tony thinks it has something do with something he lost. Or someone. And he's not really sure if they lost her, she lost herself, or some combination of the two. Either way, she's gone.
"The one you lost? But why aren't you looking for her?"
"If I could drag her back, I'd do it in a heartbeat."
And that's true. He's never lied about her; lied to her-looked her in the eyes while he did it-but never about her.
"But that's impossible. Ziva David is dead."
Taking with her his heart, and bringing up the two feelings you can't ever truly get rid of, no matter how much you ignore them.
"Vengeance, Salim. I'm here to kill you."
And that's one of those feelings he just can't seem to get rid of. The rage is large, tainting his tongue and making him see red. He's never felt such big emotion before, and it hurts. He feels like he's been holding his breath, and he wonders why he hasn't suffocated. But he'd rather feel the pain of that then the other emotion that won't leave.
Guilt. And there's the other one. He can't think of it, or else it will eat him alive. He'd take the rage a thousand times, than feel the guilt even once. Because if he focuses on the guilt, he has to face the truth. He know it is his fault she's dead.
And then she's alive, bruised and beaten but not broken, and he feels like he can breathe again.
"You thought I was dead."
"Oh, yeah."
"Then why are you here?"
"Well, McGee, McGee didn't believe you were…"
"Tony. Why are you here?"
And as he looks into her eyes, all wide-eyed and earnest and if not a little wild, he suddenly knows why. And as he thinks of making something up-because really, this truth serum stuff is a lot easier to resist than he thought-he decides to finally tell her the truth, because he's been lying to her more than he should have. He owes her this much.
"Couldn't live without you, I guess."
And now it's out there. He can't take it back, and he's not entirely sure that he wants to.
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"Well, I told you about the…the brains. I told you about the guts. I told you about the muscle, the scientist, the politician, the leader. I told you about every member of the team, except myself. The part I play."
"Which is?"
"I'm the wild card. I'm the guy who looks at the reality in front of him and refuses to accept it. Like right now I should be terrified, right? But I'm not. Because I just can't stop thinking about the movie True Lies, you know, where Arnie's strapped to the chair shot full of truth serum. Picks his cuffs and kills everybody. You've got thirty seconds to live Salim."
Thirty seconds feels like an eternity.
"No, you're still bound. You're lying."
"I can't lie. And I didn't say I was the one who was going to kill you. Remember when I told you my boss was a sniper?"
Salim looks at him. Unbelieving, uncertain. Time seems to stop. Somewhere out there, a clock is ticking. And he's not sure whose time is running out.
When the bullet smashes through Salim's skull, the first emotion he feels is anger. Anger at not being able to kill him himself. And then, he feels the vengeance leak out of him until he is mentally and emotionally drained. He spent so much time hating Salim that he doesn't know what to do with the room for extra emotion.
And then he feels relief. Relief that the vengeance is gone, and that the guilt will fade in time. And as he walks out of the room with Ziva in his arms to the gruff swamp monster that he normally calls his boss, he can't help but feel a little happy. And then he finally hears those three words he has been waiting for.
"Let's go home."