Title: An Unexpected Turn of Events
Author: silvermoon8705
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Lancelot/Gwen, mention of Arthur/Gwen
Spoilers: Takes place after 2x10 "Sweet Dreams" before 2x11, so Morgana still resides at Camelot.
Disclaimer: The show Merlin is property of the BBC.
Summary: Lancelot comes back. And with that, the return of someone Merlin can confide in honestly.
But soon, it is not just Lancelot who knows about his magic…
Merlin sighed in the middle of picking medicinal herbs for Gaius. Idly, he whispered a few words and some of the fallen leaves swept off the ground and started to dance in the air. Smiling softly, Merlin, again, couldn't help but yearn for the day when he didn't have to resort to these stolen moments of practicing his magic – as if it were evil. That hurt more than anything because magic was deeply a part of him. The insinuation that this made him evil by extension was difficult to bear… So, he tried not to let the thought consume him.
He found that he was performing magic in a more careless manner than ever before – part wishing someone – Arthur – would find out already and the tension of waiting, of wondering what he might think would be over with – and the other part was getting a delight from seeing how much magic he could get away with without drawing suspicion. This was a dangerous game; Merlin knew (the encounter with the Witchfinder proved that fact to him). It was likely to get him killed, but he was impatient… and it was getting harder by the day to deny that part of himself – his magic – to keep who he truly was under lock and key and to hide his true nature from Arthur.
And even King Uther had begun to trust him even more than before after the incident with Morgause. Merlin remembered when the king looked to him, clearly frustrated at Arthur's uncharacteristic behavior whilst under his enchantment, and asked Merlin what had happened to Arthur.
Uther had addressed him… showing that he respected Merlin, now, at least on some level. Merlin hadn't anticipated that to happen – that the king who banned magic would come to respect him. Merlin. Still, that would mean little when the fact of Merlin's magic was revealed -- no matter the respect gained, the unraveling of his secret would surely mean his execution.
The king's respect for him made it all the worse, Merlin feared. When the truth did come to light, King Uther would certainly not go easy on him at such a heavy betrayal.
Merlin shook his head, trying to dispel the unpleasant thoughts. He continued to enchant the leaves to dance in a slow, leisurely pace.
He had just begun to make the leaves form the shape of a bird when he heard the sound of footsteps behind him.
"I see you're still up to your old tricks, Merlin."
Merlin turned around quickly -- recognizing that voice and those familiar words anywhere. The leaves fell back to the ground, the spell ended abruptly due to Merlin's shock.
"Lancelot?" He exclaimed in surprise. "Why are you here now?"
Lancelot smiled somberly at him. "I wanted to see Gwen… I thought it was wrong of me to leave her without saying goodbye. It was--"
"A bit cowardly, I'd say," Merlin contributed. He gave him a small smile.
Lancelot reluctantly smiled back at him, nodding briefly to acknowledge his error. "Yes, right. You're right. You understand that I didn't want to get in the way. Camelot is not my home, but it is Gwen's and I did not wish to stir conflict between her and Arthur. I could leave easily, but for her, it would be much harder."
Merlin nodded, trying to appear understanding. "I'm not too sure if it's a good time to see Gwen. There was, very recently, a situation and well, Gwen has been a bit down as of late."
"What happened?" Lancelot questioned.
Merlin sat down before a tree, leaning back against the rough bark. Lancelot followed suit as he sat beside him. He looked to Merlin expectantly.
And so Merlin explained about the four kings coming to visit Camelot for peace negotiations and how one king secretly wanted war – using magic in the form of enchantment to incite war. He told him about Arthur being enchanted to fall in love with Lady Vivian at the expense of his relationship – albeit secret yet still undeniable – with Gwen. Gwen had been heartbroken – not knowing that Arthur's feelings for Vivian weren't genuine. That it was all an enchantment.
He explained to Lancelot how it all ended – that to break the enchantment, Arthur needed to be kissed by his true love. When Merlin had found this out, at the same time, Arthur was losing the tourney against Vivian's father who was rightly furious at seeing the prince and his daughter in a compromising position.
It was fortunate that he knew who could break the enchantment – the person who Arthur saw as his true love…
Merlin could see the resigned look in Lancelot's eyes. He knew how much this was hurting the former knight of Camelot.
"And Gwen was that person?" Lancelot asked, his eyes showing he knew the answer.
Merlin nodded. "The enchantment was broken as a result. Gwen told me that she talked to Arthur after the tourney. She told him that they couldn't go on like this. She said that she couldn't be his queen – it wasn't right to entertain the idea now," Merlin told him.
Then, he took a small twig from the ground and made circular motions in the air with the twig. A thin line of bright light appeared as he continued the motion until a circle outlined by shining light was hanging in the air in front of him – held up by his magic.
Lancelot observed the magic being conjured before his eyes for a moment before he turned to Merlin and said, "Is it wise to do that, Merlin? You have my word, of course, that I will not tell a soul, but we're still out in the open. Anyone could come into the forest and see you."
Merlin shrugged. "You shouldn't be so worried. Do you want to know something, Lancelot?"
"What?"
"I fell in love with a girl. This was right before the Lady Vivian incident. Her name was Freya. Would you like to know what I promised her?"
Lancelot did not like the rather wild look in Merlin's eyes. He somewhat doubted that Merlin was thinking with his head at the moment.
"I promised to look after her. To escape with her. For us to find a place where we would be safe, free from the fear of persecution."
"She was like you--?"
Merlin nodded, confirming Lancelot's words. "She was one of the Druids. She was magic – like me."
Merlin looked away from him then.
"Merlin? What happened to her?"
"She's gone now," he told him quietly, still not looking at Lancelot.
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Lancelot said, not sure what else to say, what he was supposed to do.
Merlin seemed to shake himself out of the moment. Then he finally looked at Lancelot, smiling at the man.
"It's nice to see you here, Lancelot. I feel like I can be honest with you without settling for half-truths."
"Arthur doesn't know about your magic, does he?"
Merlin shook his head. "No, he doesn't," He said and let out a sigh. He looked out ahead of him, somewhat comforted by the forest's tranquility surrounding him. "It's only you and Gaius. Sometimes it could be so…frustrating."
Lancelot reached out his hand to squeeze the other man's shoulder to express his sympathy.
Merlin turned back to him. "I didn't mean to put all this on you. You wish to see Gwen, don't you?"
The other man stared at him in surprise. "But you said that it wasn't a good time! And then, your story about true love's kiss-"
Merlin waved his hand dismissively. "I've thought about it and you're right. It would be good to clear the air with her. You did leave her rather suddenly. That wasn't fair to Gwen."
Lancelot opened his mouth, ready to answer him, but Merlin held up his hand to stop his words. Merlin continued on, "I also said that Gwen broke it off with Arthur for now. Gwen telling him that 'She couldn't be his queen – it wasn't right to entertain the idea now' – remember that bit?"
"Yes – for now – there's still a chance. I don't want to cause trouble, Merlin."
Merlin stood up. He looked down at Lancelot as he spoke. "Gwen may be Arthur's true love. But, maybe…the feeling might not be mutual."
"Merlin…"
"I could test it, you know. I could try at least. Maybe you're her--"
Lancelot stood up then abruptly. He covered Merlin's mouth with his hand. "All right! You've made your point. I came here to talk to Gwen and it would be wrong to be deterred now."
Merlin grinned at him.
And so the two of them set off toward Gwen's house.
"Oh my goodness! Lancelot?" Gwen exclaimed, her hand over her heart at seeing him once again after months.
"Hello, Gwen," Lancelot said, smiling softly. Merlin stood just behind him, feeling quite awkward at being witness to their reunion. They didn't need him.
She returned the smile somewhat uncertainly. Then noticing Merlin was at the door as well, Gwen waved her hand to usher the two men both into her home. "Come in, come in. It's good to see you, Merlin. Did Lancelot find you first?" She inquired, giving Merlin a friendly smile.
Merlin nodded. "Yes, I was collecting herbs for Gaius," he explained, showing her the basket he was carrying. "And Lancelot happened to come by. He said that he wished to apologize to you, if you would give him a chance to," He told her, hopefully helping Lancelot in the process. Maybe they did need him, to be a moderator of sorts. Gwen wasn't an aggressive person, but Merlin wasn't all together too sure that she wouldn't feel compelled to slap Lancelot or something similar as retribution for leaving her high and dry after the Hengist incident.
Gwen sighed, biting her lip. Lancelot smiled uneasily at her. "I am truly sorry, Gwen. I did not want to come between what you had with Prince Arthur. I thought it best to leave. I am sorry if my leaving upset you," he said to her sincerely, sounding quite contrite.
She still looked at him, uncertain what to say, and instead, Gwen directed them to sit at the table.
They did so, and Gwen went about preparing all of them something to drink.
Once they were all sitting at the table, cups full of drink in hand, with Gwen and Merlin seated across from Lancelot, Gwen spoke.
Choosing her words carefully, she said, "You should have allowed me the chance to give my say, Lancelot. What you did was not fair to me. I know you think that you meant well, but I care for you as you do me. I would have hoped you would treat me with the courtesy of not leaving so abruptly. You should have had the courage to ask me directly what I wanted, what I thought."
"Yes, I know. I acted deplorably. I understand if you will need some more time to come to forgive me," Lancelot said earnestly.
Merlin contributed, reminding Gwen gently, "You told me how the situation is between you and Arthur. You said how much it upsets you that you can't be with him as you wish to. That you are not sure that you could wait for him."
Gwen nodded. "Yes, I suppose you're right," she admitted, albeit hesitantly. She turned back to face Lancelot. "I am truly glad to see you again, Lancelot. I may be displeased at your previous actions, but I have missed you. Have you…missed me?" She asked softly, wondering.
Lancelot smiled genuinely at her. He reached out to grasp her hand with his. "Yes, I have. I have thought of you often. I almost feared what you would do to me when I would return. I thank you for not slapping me."
Gwen giggled, shaking her head. She squeezed his hand, and she smiled widely as she looked up at him.
After a moment,
"Well, I should be going. I have to get the herbs to Gaius and I'm sure Arthur, the prat he is, will have a whole list of chores for me to go through," Merlin said, standing up. He took the basket in hand as well.
"Oh yes, I should see to the Lady Morgana. I do hope that you're planning to stay for a while, Lancelot. I would like that. You may stay at my home, of course," she offered graciously.
"I would not wish to impose," Lancelot said, ever the noble knight.
"Nonsense, I insist," Gwen told him firmly, leaving no room for argument.
"I'll come by after supper this evening. Maybe then we could have a proper talk?" Merlin suggested.
"Yes, I'd like that," Gwen agreed.
Lancelot nodded. "I would like that too… and Merlin, do you plan to tell Arthur of my return?" He asked him.
Merlin didn't quite know himself. He was sure Arthur would want to know of Lancelot being in Camelot. Then again, if people saw Lancelot about the city, then word would surely reach the castle and, most certainly, Arthur in good time. It would be best if Merlin told him straightaway, before talk circulated about the ex-knight staying at Gwen's home and the wild speculations as to what that meant. Yes, the prince would definitely not want to be subjected to any wild speculations. If Arthur still held strong feelings for Gwen, then no…it would certainly not improve his mood.
"Yes, it would be better if he heard it from me. Is that all right?" Merlin wanted to make sure.
"We can't hide it from him. It would not be fair," Gwen remarked. "I only hope that Arthur does not take it too badly."
"Oh don't worry. Arthur likes Lancelot – I'm sure that his feelings for you, Gwen, will not make Arthur suddenly hate him," Merlin told her reassuringly.
"For our sakes, I hope you are right, Merlin," Lancelot noted, clapping Merlin on the shoulder.
Merlin nodded. "I hope so too," He agreed with him. "But I have a feeling all will go well. I'll just have to word it the right way, you understand."
He grinned at Gwen and Lancelot and shortly thereafter, Merlin departed from her home.
"Arthur, I just wanted to let you know that Lancelot's in Camelot. He is staying at Gwen's. She…er, she insisted," Merlin told him as the prince ate his lunch in his chambers.
Arthur looked up, and Merlin could not help his concern for the prince upon seeing the tinge of fear and worry in the blond's blue eyes. He did notice how the prince had appeared rather subdued since this morning when Merlin had arrived with breakfast. Arthur had muttered something about a bad dream when Merlin had inquired about what was wrong. After that, the prince refused to say anymore on the matter. He did not even divulge what the dream was about to Merlin, so unhappily, Merlin decided to simply let the matter drop. If Arthur wished to be stubborn about it, then he would just leave him to it.
"That's nice. Guinevere should be happy to see him, I'm sure," he said in a considerably disinterested tone.
Merlin looked at him uncertainly, not sure how to proceed in the face of Arthur's strange, somewhat listless behavior.
"Arthur, I know you have feelings for Gwen. I know you do not wish me to speak of them, but I thought with Lancelot back…you would not like it. He cares for Gwen as well, as you know," Merlin told him.
"Lancelot is a good man. And Gwen was right – even if we do care for each other, it would not be a wise idea to pursue a relationship with her when I could not give all of myself to her. She has a better chance with Lancelot -- if he does not choose to leave her again. He has a tendency for abrupt exits, don't you think, Merlin?" Arthur asked him as he cut into his sausage and then placed the cut meat into his mouth, chewing on it.
"Yes, I agree with you there, but he plans on staying this time. For a few days, maybe. He hasn't said, but he has made clear that he wants to reconcile with Gwen," Merlin informed him. Arthur drank out of his goblet. Merlin bit his lip, still confused at the blond's calm behavior. "Are you okay with this, Arthur? You've been…off…today. Are you all right?"
Arthur nodded. "I'm just fine, Merlin, but I appreciate your concern," he said easily.
Then,
"Come here, Merlin," he said, beckoning him to come closer.
Merlin did so, reaching Arthur, and now standing beside him.
Arthur was still seated and he tugged on Merlin's sleeve. "Could you…kneel, Merlin?" He asked him, looking fleetingly uncertain before the look passed and his blue eyes were left unreadable.
"Why do you want me to kneel?" Merlin asked.
"Just do it, will you?" Arthur told him in mild exasperation.
With a sigh, Merlin did so – kneeling before Arthur who turned toward him. He placed his hand atop Merlin's head, his sword-callused hand tangling the dark locks of his hair.
"Arthur?" Merlin inquired, puzzled. Why was Arthur doing this? He sincerely hoped that the prince was not under another enchantment.
Arthur only shushed him in response and moved his hand down to Merlin's cheek. And then, if Merlin was not mistaken, Arthur was caressing his cheek. His thumb gently moved across the soft skin as if Merlin's pale skin were something delicate. Merlin's eyes fluttered closed at the intimate touch.
"Merlin…" Arthur murmured.
He opened his eyes, looking at him questioningly. "Yes?"
"Please be careful. I know it's hard for you to do, but just please…for me, be careful," Arthur nearly pleaded with him.
"Why are you saying this, Arthur? I don't understand," Merlin wondered.
The prince gave a long sigh and then he stood up, pushing his chair away. He grasped Merlin by the shoulder and pulled him up to stand as well.
The last thing Merlin was expecting was for Arthur to kiss him on the lips, his hands holding his face. Merlin could feel the roughness of the prince's hands as they touched his skin.
Arthur pulled away after a moment and he peered at Merlin's slightly dazed face. Merlin didn't know what to do, say or even feel… he cared for Arthur, true, he may even admit to feeling a deep affection for the man, his prince, but to kiss him…Merlin was at a loss for words. Still, despite the uncertainty, he could not deny that the kiss was good, very good in fact, and he would not say no to more…
"I know about what you can do, Merlin. I've seen your eyes flash gold," He informed him, his blue eyes piercing Merlin's.
Merlin was rightly startled. Arthur found out? On his own? He wondered why he hadn't been executed yet. This was too good to be true – that Arthur had uncovered the truth of his magic and had not made a move to have Merlin put to death. But then, the prince did just kiss him…you don't kiss the person you wish to condemn. That made no sense.
"How long have you known? Why am I not on the way to be executed right now?" Merlin wondered, honestly puzzled.
Arthur sighed and he gripped Merlin's shoulders, his hold strong and sure. "I have been putting the pieces together for months now. I wasn't sure what to think or what to make of it. I decided, in the end, to pretend it wasn't true. This thing you have – we shall not speak of it, all right? It is best kept secret. The problem is that…I thought simply not allowing the fact of it sink in, for it to hit would be enough. No matter what you may think of me, Merlin, I can not let you die. I can't – I won't allow that to happen," He said fiercely, one hand gripping Merlin's shoulder so tightly that Merlin flinched at the sudden pain. Seeing this, Arthur loosened his grip in apology, and then he continued on, "But then, last night…I had a dream that I hoped to the gods will never come true."
"If I could ask, what did you dream about?" Merlin asked him gently.
Arthur sighed and he reached up to place his hand over Merlin's cheek, his blue eyes intense and full of deep concern for Merlin.
Arthur was worried about him.
"I dreamed that I accidentally killed you when I tried to prevent you from doing magic in front of my father. You were doing it in my defense, and the idiot you are, you had little concern about yourself…knowing what you were risking for my sake…that you were risking your very life. It was a horrible dream, Merlin. I'm telling you again, please be careful. Do not reveal your magic in such a way because of your misguided idea that my life is more important than yours," Arthur demanded of him, reprimanding him for something Merlin hadn't even done. Might never even do…
After all, Morgana was the one who had true dreams. Surely Arthur simply had a bad dream brought on by his worries for Merlin's safety?
But…Arthur had been right about one thing.
"Arthur, I understand you're worried about me. But you can't ask that of me, you can't tell me to not value your life more than mine. All I have ever done is protect you – that is my duty as yours is one day to become King of Camelot, to be a good and fair ruler for the kingdom. I am just a servant. My life is--"
Merlin could not finish what he wanted to say before Arthur interrupted him, "No, Merlin. Don't you dare say that. You are valuable to me. You are important to me. You have become my closest friend and I can not lose you."
"But I thought you cared about Gwen…Arthur, you just kissed me and I don't know how to take that. Are you just letting your fears for my life cloud your true feelings?" Merlin asked him, wanting to make sure Arthur was thinking this through properly.
"Can a person not love two people just as equally?" Arthur asked him back. "And anyway, Gwen has Lancelot. And you, you who have always stood by me for almost two years now – despite your deficiencies at your job, I have grown to like you in such a way that it surprises me sometimes. I can't bear to see you die. You…you feel the same way for me, don't you?" The prince asked him, sounding surprisingly uncertain. While Arthur seemed confident of his own feelings for Merlin, he wasn't sure of Merlin's feelings for him.
Merlin gave him a small smile and he wrenched himself from Arthur's hold on his shoulders. He stepped away from the blond.
"I liked the kiss, a lot in fact, but I can't do this now, Arthur. I care for you deeply, I can admit that, but I fell in love with a girl not long ago. She died…and I'm still trying to move on from that. I, I'm sorry, Arthur," Merlin said apologetically.
"Who was the girl?" Arthur asked him lightly, though Merlin could not miss the stricken look on the prince's face.
Merlin shrugged. "She was just a girl. If it's all right, I don't want to talk about it now," He asked of Arthur.
The blond did not appear content with that answer. "Merlin, you said you fell in love with this girl. She can't have been just a girl," He countered.
"I just can't talk about this right now. I need to think things over after what you have told me. Maybe one day I will tell you about the girl, but that day is not today," Merlin said to him, finality in his tone.
Arthur relented then. "Okay, I can accept that," He agreed.
Merlin smiled gratefully at him and, unable to resist, he went to kiss Arthur softly on the lips. The prince deepened the kiss, and Merlin allowed him to – the temptation to keep going was too great to deny.