Ummm... this is my first fanfic, so you know the drill... constructive criticism nice, flaming cheerfully ignored. I haven't read TCP in a while so please let me know if I've scewed up something painfully obvious.




You see that guy? the kumiin asked.
his young buddy nodded.
Well, that's the Durga.
The Durga? the new guy almost chocked. but, that's a guy!
nope, that's the Durga. She just dresses like that, you know, because it's more convenient.

He came into her room that night, instead of coming as he usually did, in the morning. She was flipping through the math textbook and making notes on a pad of paper but he could see her foot twitching under the desk, a nervous gesture. Tsukasa had never been really good at any that involved sitting in one place for an extended length of time.
Still studying? He asked. He was a little jealous, he'd had to quit school the year before. No more time to sit staring at Tsukasa, the Kuryugumi needed him more. Besides, now that she was always here, there wasn't any reason, really.
Recently she'd been attending more regularly, and putting in extra time reviewing the stuff she hadn't bothered to learn before. She even told him she was too busy to bodyguard when he had meetings during the day, so he would end up attending with only Bun.
She looked up from her books and smiled. I'm determined, she said, I'm going to graduate high school.
He put his hand on her shoulder and felt her stiffen slightly under the touch. She kept talking, a little bit more quickly than she needed to.
I think Mom and Dad would have wanted, that, you know? Though Taku-niichan had to quit Toshi and Sho are both managing to do it, I don't want to be the only one...
Ryuji nodded. They had talked about this before. I understand, he said, I still think you're right. He couldn't help putting in one jealous little jab, though. I miss you.
Well, after school is done...
They'd been dancing like this for weeks now, their conversations always reached the point of talking about graduation and then petered off. Tonight, Ryuji was tired of it. He wasn't the one avoiding the subject of the future.
, he said. After graduation.
I said I'd go through with it, didn't I? Tsukasa answered. Ryuji, I really do love you.
I know you said you didn't want things to be complicated, but you do understand, don't you? it can't be a small wedding.
I understand.
He decided to tease her a little bit. Tsukasa so serious and unemotional made him nervous.
You can't wear your protector, you know?
She smiled at him. I know.
It was just that nothing had happened between them, since they had gone to visit her brothers. Tsukasa seemed to feel that things had all been spelled out. She'd said yes, hadn't she? Said that she wanted to marry him? Somehow saying yes to him made her think that it was all right to behave as if she was living in a lead room, next to him but completely distant. He was making all the goddamn arrangements. Was that normal? He thought that usually girls liked to plan this sort of thing, their big day. For god's sake, even Asago was more involved, right now, that Tsukasa was.
Have you talked to your brothers recently?
I talked to them. She looked up at him again, with wide eyes, earnestly. Ryuji, Taku-niichan doesn't like it, you know he never will, but he said it was all right. Besides, they aren't my real family, so...
Why was she saying that now? Everything was turning sour again, everything was getting lost. Why the hell was she like this? Pre-wedding jitters?
I need you to come with me tomorrow. I'm going to see Tamura and you know that he's going to deny involvement with the gun-runners we captured.
This was the other part that had changed, he was trying to get her more involved in the affairs of the clan. He made a point of making sure that she knew everything he did, as much as possible, about every dealing they were involved in. He wanted her to be ready to take a place next to him as an equal. The kumiin accepted her but he didn't ever want them to have a reason to doubt that.
I can go, She said. Tamura's not the brightest guy, and he might try something, but I didn't think he even has the manpower right now to make it successful. I'll enjoy wrapping my chain around his neck.
Ryuji decided to let that one, the implication that she liked hurting people, slide. Tsukasa might say things like that but she didn't really mean them. She was like he was, they both liked to fight - but fighting people and hurting people were two entirely different things.
He hadn't taken his hand away when she tensed up, now he tried stroking her hair. She didn't seem to mind but she didn't respond either, she just sat there at her desk, looking up at him. Her eyes were so big, and when she stared straight into you it was like being hollowed out and then re-stuffed in a moment. He wondered how anyone could ever look at her and think that she was a boy.
She was in love with him, wasn't she? He couldn't leave her as cold as her just sitting there was making him believe. I want, he said, I want... He knelt down, and knew that if he reached up under her shirt he could unfasten the protector with an easy snap.



It was all right, wasn't it? Asago was sleeping with Munakata , Dr. Meiko had a hairy kumiin Tsukasa sometimes caught sneaking out of the lab at odd hours, or late at night. She thought of her Wakasa's last letter to her, from the cd that had been buried for so long in her first protector.
I didn't love him, She had said, He said if I slept with him once, he'd get over me.
She remembered Ryuji tracing delicate circles around her breasts the night before. She hadn't enjoyed it, but she hadn't hated it either. She couldn't say something like that to Ryuji, could she? It wasn't right, it wasn't the way things were supposed to be, and it was just to embarrassing. She just hadn't quite known what to do, or how to respond. Ryuji had done things like that before, with other woman, but she bit her lip wondering how he could do something so private with anyone at all. Maybe she was too much like Wakasa, too sexless, to suddenly turn into a proper woman. Or maybe years of Ryuji walking in on her changing or occasionally trying to feel her up wasn't really an appropriate preparation for something like that. Tsukasa lay in bed, dreamless, until she felt Ryuji waking up and moving away from her. Then she could breath again. What time was it? She reached toward the clock and her hand managed to hit something softer instead.
Owww! Damn! She woke up enough to realize that she'd stuck her finger in Ryuji's eye.
She said, sorry! sorry!
That's ok, He said, suddenly sitting up. How did you sleep? He asked, leaning over...
Oh no! Said Tsukasa, It's already eight o'clock!!!! She jumped up and ran to the closet. Where's my uniform???
Ryuji had just managed to avoid kissing the futon good morning. I thought you might want to sleep in. He said.
NO! I can't miss my morning classes. Was it possibly for any other human to get dressed so quickly? Ryuji watched lazily as Tsukasa hopped around the room, stuffed her books in her bag and ran out the door.
Despite Dr. Meiko's best attempts. He thought to himself, she's still talking like a guy. But, the main thing was, that she seemed pretty desperate to get out of his sight. But, freaking out over school was just like Tsukasa. She was embarrassed, he thought, she was probably shy. Happily Ryuji found his jacket and fumbled in the pocket for a pack of cigarettes.