Qrow could almost feel his brain hemorrhaging; bile sloshing in the back of his throat as he suppressed the urge to vomit. His eyes twitched as he was forced to read, line by line, Raven's fanfiction. An absolutely unholy amalgamation of literary fiction words could not begin to describe, plagued with numerous historical inaccuracies, copious spelling errors, casual racism and stupendously retarded leaps in logic.

He contemplated suicide; legitimate suicide as a viable alternative to reading this atrocity. He wished more than anything else he could jump straight out the dorm's window on the fourth floor and just plummet to his ultimate demise, would his semblance not automatically trigger and save him. Goddamn hereditary semblances.

How the fucking hell did she convince him to read this?

He struggled to recall the events of the past few hours that led to this moment, as she spurred him to read onwards. His memory had almost failed him, as the trauma of the fiction began to seep deeper and deeper, purging all rational thought and ability to concentrate from his mind.

He'd been having a pretty good day to the best of his recollection. He'd woken up to his beard finally starting to come in strong after months of having to stay clean shaven. He'd made his dumbass of a partner Taiyang look like a nerd in front of every girl at Beacon by tripping him in the middle of the cafeteria. Hell, he'd even flirted with Summer a little; turns out the beard was a great talking point and she was genuinely interested in it.

Where had it all gone wrong?

He remembered walking back into their dorm room, almost an hour ago now, exhausted after sparring to find his sister Raven, sitting on her bed with a laptop; scratch that, his laptop, typing away at a furious pace.

"Raven what the fuck!" He exclaimed, attempting to grab his computer back from her. She easily held him at bay, strong arming him without so much as looking up from the screen.

"Hey featherbrain, I need your help with something." She said, finally bothering to acknowledge his existence.

"No! Give me back my damn laptop; I don't want you downloading shit on it again. Not after last time." He said, recollecting the struggle of explaining to Summer why a terabyte of gay avian Faunus pornography had appeared on his desktop when she'd last borrowed it.

"Come on, please?" she asked, a coy smile spreading across her face as she shifted over on her bed for him to sit.

"Please?" Qrow said puzzled, "Who are you and what the hell have you done with Raven?"

"Oh fuck off," She dismissed, taking the laptop and shoving it into his hands. "Look, I wrote something and I need somebody to help me proof read, alright? You've got to be good for something after all."

"Proofread? What like a paper for class or something?" Said Qrow, sitting down beside her on the bed with his back against the wall.

"No… just something for fun? You know? She said, cheeks blushing the same shade as her eyes.

"Fun? You? Yeah, I should go." Qrow said, standing to leave, before feeling Raven's iron grip take hold of his cape and stop him.

"Read it," she said in a voice devoid of any and all empathy, pulling him back beside her.

"Fine! God, I'll read it."

He sat down on her bunk and began to read, eyes darting from word to word as he began the first chapter. Within minutes he turned away from the screen; repulsed, muttering a string of expletives under his breath.

"What?" Raven asked.

"This is porn Raven! Why the actual fuck are you writing porn?" He said, tossing the laptop back into her hands in disgust.

"Shut up!" She yelled back, "I'm just expanding my capabilities as a writer!"

"By writing bad porn?"

"It's not… Look just keep reading it!" she insisted, handing the computer back to him.

Qrow sighed dramatically, "Fine! I'll do it already. Jeez."

And so there he was, several thousand words deep into a story he couldn't even begin to comprehend. Not for lack of trying, there wasn't a story to be found; it was all just a crude arrangement of unconnected stories ranging from over-the-top power fantasies to poorly written smut between terribly written and utterly contrived characters. After what felt like hours of unlawful, inhumane torture, Qrow finally finished. He rubbed a trembling hand underneath his nose; it was stained with blood. Yep. Definitely a brain hemorrhage. Raven however, interpreted it as a completely different sign altogether.

"Well?" Raven asked, face beaming with anticipation, "What do you think?"

"What do I think?" Qrow said shaking his head in disbelief, "Raven, this is the worst fanfiction. Ever. Of all time."

"Oh come on! It can't be that bad!" she pouted, swiping the laptop back from him and eyeing over her words with intense scrutiny, "What was wrong with it?"

"For starters, none of these characters make any fucking sense! Look," Qrow pointed at a paragraph on the screen, "What the hell is this? Why does the blind girl have wings!?"

"It's because she's a half-Grimm!"

"Half-Grimm? That doesn't even make any sense! Grimm have no souls; humans can't just not have half a soul Raven."

"You don't know!"

"The fuck are you talking about 'you don't know'? Of course I know. We literally just covered this yesterday in class. And that wasn't what I meant. Why does the blind girl have wings?"

"She uses her semblance of Echolocation to see when she flies! Like a bat." Raven explained confidently.

"Then why the fuck is her character based off of a dragon instead of a bat if it's her defining character trait!" Qrow retorted.

"Because bats are gross and dragons are cool." Raven replied casually, making small edits on the page.

Qrow face palmed. He was dumbfounded. How could she possibly be defending this… trash? Moreover, why was he even attempting to reason with her using logic for fucks sake. It became clear to him that the concept of constructive criticism was lost to her completely. As Qrow stood to wipe his face on Taiyang's towel, another thought occurred to him about Raven's recent delve into fictive efforts. Why?

"Why the hell are you even writing this in the first place?" Qrow asked, as he finished smearing his partner's white towel with his blood, "You used to hate English back at Signal."

"I don't know," Raven replied, eyes glued to the screen as she continued to type away on the keyboard, "I guess I got bored."

"Bored? We're at a combat school training to fight giant monsters for fucks sake. Remember?"

"Hard to forget considering I have a better understanding of how to penetrate Deathstalker carapace than basic algebra." Raven replied, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Then how the fuck are you bored?" Qrow exclaimed, his frustration with his sibling and her god-awful writing morphing into actual rage at her avoidance of his question.

"Well, my favorite show is on hiatus, and I saw other people posting stories of their own, so I thought it might be a good idea to try it myself."

Qrow's eye twitched uncontrollably. He was done dealing with all of her stupid bullshit.

"How are we related?" Qrow asked.

"Fuck you."

"I'm being completely serious."

"Again, fuck you."

"Whatever." Qrow said, opening the door and stepping into the hallway.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going?" Raven called after him, actually pausing momentarily from her typing barrage to confront him.

"Look, I did what you asked. I read your abomination of a story. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go… I don't know, bleach my eyes or something."

With that, he slammed the door. Outside, Qrow sighed, pitying any man that might one-day end up with the hell spawn that was his sister.

"Qrow!" A voice cried out from the other end of the hallway. Qrow turned to see a streak of white come barreling towards him at high speed. He barely had time to react before it collided with him and tackled him to the floor outside Team STRQ's door. Qrow opened his eyes to see a familiar pair of silver staring into his own, a massive grin sprawling across her face from ear to ear.

"HI!" Summer Rose said, giggling some as she climbed off of him, her highlighted bangs drooping adorably in front of her face, as her hooded white cloak flowed elegantly around her black dress and corset.

Fuck how could she be so damn cute all the time? It just wasn't fair. Qrow thought, as his team leader helped him off the floor. He would have liked to stay and talk with her; more than anything he'd like to be alone with her for a little while, but he had to get away from Raven's writing. A quick flight to Vale, a stop by that little bakery in the Commercial District that fed the local birds pastries every day around three, that would take his mind off of things.

But what about Summer?

"Summer, listen to me very carefully," Qrow said, motioning his hand toward the door, "Whatever Raven asks you to do, just don't. Alright?"

With that he made a beeline down the hallway and swan dived out the open window. Summer ran after him to the windowsill, only to catch a glimpse of a familiar looking crow take flight in the direction of the Vale as fast as its wings could carry it.

"Um, okay!?" Summer called after him, confused. She shrugged, walking back to the dorm room to find her partner furiously typing away at her brother's laptop with all of the bird people porn on it.

"Raven, what was all that about?" Summer asked, throwing back her hood while she leapt casually onto her bed, checking the messages on her Scroll.

"Oh nothing," Raven said, concluding her typing onslaught with a single dramatic press of the Enter key.

"Aaaannd done!" She exclaimed, admiring the fruits of her labor as the chapter posted live to the CCT tower.

"With what?" Summer questioned, as she glanced over at Raven celebrating on the bed beside her.

"Oh nothing," Raven said, her lips twisting into a coy smile as an idea formed in her head, "Just a little something I've been writing. Wanna read it?"

"Sure!" Summer said, in her innocence never questioning for a moment Raven's utterly sinister intentions. She paused for a moment. What if this is what Qrow was trying to warn her about before jumping out the window as fast as he could? Nah, Summer thought dismissively, as she sat down beside her partner and began reading. It can't be that bad.

Right?