A.N.: This was based off of a musical called 'Bare'... you can go to my livejournal (misformazing ; or the link in my profile) and download the songs : )

Chapter One:

I'd like to start with just a…
If we could take a moment…
If maybe we were silent…
Or we had spoken…

- I.i. Epiphany

- - - -

Inside St. Cecilia's church, the altar was lit, as was the crucifix that was raised above it. There were countless saint statues hovering near the ceiling, apparently to keep watch over the students of the boarding school. The processional began and the children had to stand. Sam Harvelle, who was an altar boy at the school for the past four years, led Ash, who was his fellow classmate, and Father Azazel, who followed after Ash, to the altar. The congregation awaited the priest to begin speaking, and when he did, they spoke along with him in unison. "IN NOMINE PATRIS, ET FILIUS, ET SPIRITUS SANCT INTROIBO AD ALTERE DEI. Amen."

Sam and his roommate Dean Winchester, had 'celebrated' the beginning of their last semester the night before, and the church was so warm from the heater, so it wasn't that big of a surprise that he started to doze off. His eyelids flickered, and then would snap open, trying to listen to the priest continue his sermon.

"I want to welcome all of you back; I hope that Christmas was a time of great joy for you and your families. Today is the Feast of the Epiphany, the celebration of the arrival of the three wise men to pay homage to the baby Jesus." Father Azazel was a hard looking man, and his voice would lull anyone asleep if they listened long enough. "I want you to imagine what that journey must have been like…" Sam had to practically shake his head to stay awake, but even that didn't work. The corners of his eyesight were slowly starting to go dark, but in the back of his mind, he could still hear the Father continue. "Imagine what a joy it must have been for them to have finally reached their destination. Seniors, you are coming to an end of four years at St. Cecilia's. You have lived together, studied together, and most importantly, prayed together. Strength for the journey…"

The congregation started to say the prayer along with their priest. Sam started to mumble it softly, when he slowly realized that all of the voices had died down. He flickered his eyes open wide, and noticed that everyone was wearing dark brown robes. Confused, he stood up to take a look around. It wasn't until he was facing the doors to the church, that he heard clothes rustle. He turned back and noticed that the cloaked people were all lined up against the pulpit. He swiveled his head around, and saw that the saint sculptures had come alive and were standing along side the walls. He was surrounded. He started to slowly back away, but that was when they all began to shout out at him.

"You would sacrifice your soul to feed your own vice!" He could only be confused as to what they were talking about.

"God is watching, son." His eyes squinted, and then opened wide as he saw that they were slowly walking towards him.

"You mother will suffer!" That made his nose flare, how dare they talk about his mother.

"Will you drag that poor boy down there with you?" The figure closest to him asked out. "He's unsure at the moment, you can change his mind. Change his life!" The person in the robe pleaded. "If you love him, you should let him go. Make a choice."

They all started to shout at him, making him retreat into an open pew. "If our love is strong…" he began to tell them, but was drowned out by their screams. "But it doesn't make sense!!" They still continued to yell. Just when he was about to open his mouth to make them understand, they all quickly backed away. A light caught the corner of his eye, and he turned to look at him. There his mother stood next to the podium.

Softly Ellen began her speech. "Our first reading today is the story of how despite the best efforts of a single mother, a child can still go horribly, horribly wrong."

"Mom!" Sam cried out, trying to stop her.

As if she didn't hear him, she continued on. "For his eighth birthday, Sam asked for an easy-bake oven; his father asked for a divorce. To me, the link between those two events was as strong as Sam's attraction to my makeup table." Sam closed his eyes as hard as he could to knock him out of this nightmare, but nothing would stop it. "We sent him to Catholic boarding school, thinking it might help, but when he met his roommate, Dean, the two of them locked eyes and I said to myself, Ellen, you wanted grandchildren, and instead you're going to get ambiguous Christmas cards from South Beach." He could only look on with a pained expression as she persisted. "It's absurd that this isn't a choice. Don't do this to me, Sam." She pleaded out to him. He said nothing in return, too shocked to utter a response. How could this be happening to him?

The priest stepped forward, and started the communion. Sam got in line with the others, but when it was time for him to take part, the priest refused him. "Father?"

The priest quietly shushed him, and only said, "Not at a funeral, Sam." And within seconds, the mass became a memorial service.

Ash stood up and tried to give the eulogy. "I'd like to start with just a… If we could take a moment…" He had difficulty getting it out. "If maybe we were silent…" He began once more, but could only softly add, "Or if we had spoken…" He shook his head, and turned away from the stand.
Sam could only look on with his mouth open. There in front of everyone, laid a casket, a dark glossy, mahogany casket. It was closed, so he couldn't see who was inside. "What is this?" He asked turning to the familiar people that formed around him. "Mom? Ash? Bela… Jo? Is that me? Is this funeral for me?!" He yelled out, pleading for an answer.

Instead of getting what he asked for, the cloaked figures came back and started chanting again.

"Timothy, Romans, Corinthians, Leviticus." A few figure repeated over and over again.

"Hate the sinner!!" Screamed one figure.

"Abomination!" Yelled another.

The voices all melded into each other, and right after he tripped over a pew, he woke up gasping during the end of the sermon. He pivoted his head around, and sighed in relief when he saw that the statues were indeed statues, and that there wasn't anyone in brown robes.

"Let us go forth in peace to love and serve the Lord." The Father ended.

"Thanks be to God." The congregation called out to him, and then stood up to exit the church.

- - - -

You take my hand, leaving me breathless.
Take a look in these big blue eyes,
So you'll understand and know why,
We whisper in hallways.
I'll be with you always.
Running together,
Forever you and I.

- I.ii. You and I

It seemed like it took forever for Sam to undo his robes, and head out to the hallway to meet up with Dean. He was at his locker, rolling in the combination, when he felt someone place their hand secretly on his hip.

"Psst. Little boy, would you like a ride? How about an ice cream cone?" That made Sam grin. Turn his head slightly he saw his roommate/boyfriend standing next to him with a smirk plastered on his face. "No? How about a baseball bat?" He asked, leaning forward, and then whispered, "There's one in my pants." That made Sam bite his lower lip. He gave himself a quick glance to said area before replying.

Sam positioned his body slightly closer to boy next to him, he pretended to look innocent. "No thank you. My mother said to never talk to strangers." He said, playing along.

That made Dean smile brightly. "So a kiss is out the question, huh?" He said after he took a look around, making sure no one was around.

"I think I'll take a chance." Sam said. He too, looked around to see if anyone was near by. He pursed his lips when he saw a group of people by the doors. Sighing, he just continued like it was any other conversation. "So where were you during mass, online?"

At first Dean was confused, but when he saw the same group, he answered. "Asleep."

"Hah. Same as half the congregation." He went to open his mouth to ask his next question, when a classmate came up to them.

"Dean! Dude I can't wait for this season!" Obviously he was a teammate in one of the sports Dean participated in. Dean just gave him a smile and a nod.

Just as he was going to comment on how good Sam looked in his uniform, his sister walked up to them. Jo was known as the misfit of the school. She was somewhat overweight, and had a prickly attitude to her, but her brother loved her, and that was all she cared about. "Dean. Did you get my text earlier?" She barely waited for him to nod before going on. "Well, plans changed. I'm going to be busy after school." With that, she left, leaving Dean and Sam to stare blankly after her.

Blinking slowly, Dean turned to his boyfriend and started to talk again. "Hey, did I…" He was interrupted once more. This time it was by one of the flirtatious girls of the school. He turned and started to walk away, all he got out was "See ya, Meg." all the while pulling Sam behind him by his sleeve. "Let's duck in here." They opened a door to an empty classroom, and both sighed in relief. Dean closed the door with his back, and leaned casually against it. "I say we just go back to our room…" He said while slowly walking towards his boyfriend. He gently pushed Sam against the teacher's desk and finished his sentence. "… and fall asleep together." He lightly brushed a kiss on the other boy's temple.

Closing his eyes slightly, Sam licked his lips. "Do you?" He looked up into Dean's eyes.

"Hmm." Dean murmured against his lover's forehead. Then he asked, "Should I bring my baseball bat?" with a smirk. And couldn't help but press his pelvis up against Sam's. That caused a reaction right away.

Sam gasped and barely got out, "I think you should." Before someone knocked on the door to the classroom next to them. Sam groaned and felt his head lean back. Looking up to the ceiling he silently sent up a curse. Both Dean and Sam had to reposition themselves in their pants before walking outside.

They barely got ten feet before a group of girls stopped Dean to talk to him. Sam just gave them all a smile, but tried to steer Dean away from everyone. They were walking around a corner and Dean's eyes couldn't help but darken when he saw his boy in those clingy chinos. Dean nonchalantly leaned up to Sam's ear and whispered, "You leave me breathless." Sam turned to look at him, and saw Dean's eyes dark with lust.

"Oh yeah?" Sam said, making sure that his tone said that he was joking, even though he wasn't completely sure that he was. "Why should I trust you when every girl here would die to get you in bed?"

Dean just squinted his eyes before looking around. He propped them both up in a corner and continued his whisper. "Why? Because when you're even five feet away from me, I go crazy out of my mind." He shifted closer. "You don't even want to know about the things that I've thought about." He gave Sam a brief once over. Sam couldn't but get hard. Smirking again, Dean just asked, "Need help there?"

"Cute..." Sam drawled out. "But it's kind of tough to argue with a…" He looked around, just to make sure no one was close enough, and then whispered. "Hard-on. Think you can lend a hand here?" And he motioned downwards with his jaw, as he cocked one eyebrow.

Dean moved his head closer, and then just whispered, "If I had time." And then started to walk off laughing. Random shouts of "Dean!" followed after him.

Sam's eyes clouded slightly when he saw his boyfriend pretend to be the all-American guy. "It's always the same routine." And though he thought his voice was barely detectable, Dean still heard.

The shorter boy hung back from the crowd until he was right next to the taller boy. "Sam, don't worry. What we have is perfect." Dean insisted.

"Then we can tell my mother?" Sam asked nonchalantly. Dean just gave him a look. Sam quickly changed the subject. "Hey, there's something else I've been meaning to ask you. " That immediately got Dean's attention. "Don't say no right away, but there're auditions being held after school for the Romeo and Juliet musical. And I was thinking that this would give us more time together…"

Breathing in deeply and exhaling just as deep, Dean gave Sam another look. "I told you last year that acting's not my thing, plus I can't even sing or dance, why would this year be any different? Anyway, I was thinking about trying out for baseball…" He trailed off, not wanting to hurt his boyfriend's feelings.

"Baseball?" Sam asked incredulously. "You've never mentioned baseball… And as for 'acting's not my thing'…?" He furrowed is brows even deeper. They moved into a tiny alcove that hid them from most people in the halls.

Dean widened his eyes and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't act."

"'Don't act.'" Sam mocked. "Well, I think we're the best act this school has ever seen." He pointed out.

Trying to distract Sam by joking around, Dean twisted the other boy around and bent him over. "So… take a bow and I'll…" Sam straightened up, and gave him a disappointed glance, while making sure no one saw.

"You know what I mean… it was just a thought; forget I even brought it up." And started to walk off.

Dean grabbed him quickly by the hand. "Hey!" He said, while pulling the boy closer to him. He turned Sam to face him, and placed both hands on the other boy's hips. "Just start thinking about tonight… tiny, twin bed, lights are all out, and just the two of us in the silence, and just imagine how far we'll get." He pulled his boy closer, and placed a gentle kiss on his awaiting lips.

When Dean pulled away, Sam couldn't help but give him a small smile. "Was that supposed to shut me up?"

"Yup." Dean replied with a smirk, and then started off to class after he heard the bell ring, a little more awake than he had been earlier.

"Jerk!" Sam called out to the retreating figure. Dean just turned around and started walking backwards. "Miss me!" He mouthed, and then turned back around. Sam's eyes followed him until he eventually left the building.

- - - -

The role of a lifetime
It's living a fantasy
A drama that you struggle to erase
Thoughts battle words over deeds
A war with such casualties
All played out behind
A smiling face.

- I.iii. Role of a Lifetime

Sam quickly shuffled to his locker to get the book that he was originally going to get, all the while wondering if this was all going to last. He wasn't lying when he told Dean that they were the best act their school has ever seen, and Dean was definitely one of the best actors. Everything became an act when he started pleasing everyone around him, and Dean assumed the role to such renown. He played that perfect part knowing the risks he took, all the while hoping that no one would catch onto him, onto them.

It scares Sam how much he put into their relationship. He could just look at the boy, and feel everything click inside, like Dean was the missing puzzle piece that he'd been looking for. And when they're alone everything just feels right. Then every morning they have to try and disguise those intense feelings and pretend to be 'straight men'. His life becomes monotonous, saying the same lines over and over again, but never really saying what he meant.

There isn't a night that goes by, that Sam hasn't spent praying to any higher power that Dean won't wake up realizing he made a mistake. That one day Dean will realize that he wants the white picket fence with the 2.5 kids and the dog. That one day he'll want that trophy bride.

Sam closes his eyes at the thought. Leaning his forehead against the cold steel of his locker, he couldn't help but think the worst. He couldn't help but wonder what his role in Dean's life truly was. Was he just a phase? Was he trying to manipulate Dean into thinking he was gay? Sam almost growled at that thought. 'Great, now I'm starting to think like them now.' He slammed his hand into his pockets and pulled out his iPod. He quickly jammed the headphones in his ears, and turned up the volume.

It was easier this way. Sam thought to himself as he walked across the quad. It was easier to fill his life with sound then have to deal with all of these thoughts. But the question of what will happen when the music stops loomed over him. Will Dean stay with him? Or will he realize one day, that all of his feelings of having to hide who he truly was, won't just go away? Then they'll have to start to dance around the subject, and then once again will have to reprise these roles.