"Lucius Malfoy! What HAVE you done?" shrieked not the voice of Molly Weasely, but from a snake-like-man in the corner of a bright pink room.
"What do you mean? What HAVE I done?" a long-haired- blonde man mocked as he surveyed the man perched in a fluffy-pink chair.
"You, YOU, YYOOUU did absolutely nothing, NOTHING!!" the snakey man bellowed at the one named Lucius, "Nothing, Nnothing, NNOOTTHHIINNGG!!!! Why did you do nothing?" he begun to cry in despair, letting his head fall into his skeletal hands.
"Voldie, Voldie, Voldie. Oh dear Voldie. YOU TOLD ME TO DO NOTHING!!" Lucius mercilessly replied, a slight smirk playing at his unusually thin lips.
"I told you to do something," Voldemort cried, "I said 'Do something Lucius, anything Lucius, just do something' and you went and did nothing. You could have baked cookies! You could have sewn more death-eaters masks! ANYTHING BUT YOU DID NOTHING!!"
"I did do something you delusional old fool!" Lucius screamed back at his master, "Maybe you should pay attention to what I DID do! But you just don't want to know do you? Huh? I thought not! It's above you isn't it Voldie dear?"
"Okay Lucius, what did you supposedly do?" Voldemort looked up, somehow rolling his slitted eyes.
"I—" Lucius began, puffing out his muscle-ness chest, "I got some beauty sleep!"
"That's NOT something, that's just like NOTHING!!" Voldemort shrieked at the man before him.
"Beauty sleep is A LOT! And I mean A LOT! Like seriously there is a lot of effort put into beauty sleep!" Lucius defended himself against that all-too-evil dark lord, "You should really try is sometime—maybe all the time—you kinda really need it—"
"What do yo mean, I NEED BEAUTY SLEEP?" Voldemort raged at his naturally blonde death eater with a perfect complexion, "I AM BEAUTIFUL!"
"Yes Voldie, you're beautiful in absolutely every sense of the word, but beauty sleep is really reviving and refreshing—it could really assist your hunt for Potter." Lucius back-tracked and tried to make peace with the one in charge of him whose eyes were rapidly turning a bright shade of red.
"Don't speak that name in my god-damned presence!" Voldemort hissed at Lucius, "And I know exactly where he is—just not exactly how to get him but that's just a slight technicality!"
"Yes, yes, my lord, offcourse, but some beauty sleep could really help you focus," Lucius smiled charmingly at Voldemort.
"I AM FOCUSED! You're the one unfocused!" Voldemort screeched lamely pointing at Lucius "UNFOCUSER!!"
"Whatever helps you sleep at night honey" Lucius retorted smirking.
"I AM VERY VERY FOCUSED! MORE FOCUSED THAN YOU'LL EVER BEEEE!!!" screamed Voldemort at Lucius again, "FOCUSED!"
"Mmmm….I so don't believe you!" Lucius chided, "If you were so focused then you would have killed him by now!"
"I'm biding my time you idiot! If I desperately wanted to kill him, I would have done it already!" Voldemort almost lamely retorted.
"Mhmmm….yep…sure thing" Lucius replied non-committedly.
"I AM FOCUSED AND I AM BEAUTIFUL OKAY?!?" Voldemort screamed, "MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL AND FOCUSED THAN YOU'LL EVER BE—SO THERE!!!" Voldemort screamed after pulling out his wand.
"Whatever—you're like boring me." Lucius muttered and walked off….."BORING!"
Howdy...yeah its another of my random crack fics...please tell if you like it...through reviews ofcourse...the Queen of the Scoubies really does love to get reviews...lotsly...muchly...
Mwah
Queen of the Scoubies