Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, Pulp Fiction, Dracula, Japanese baseball, or Halloween. Please don't sue me. kthxbai.
A/N: I missed the Halloween datestamp! And then I stayed up and finished and posted it as close as possible anyway. Go me. This fic was basically a challenge from Link Worshiper to write a Halloween fic about the G-boys that was related to Pulp Fiction, after a spastic late-night AIM conversation about the Fox Force Five. If you haven't seen Pulp Fiction, you probably won't get much of the humour here (including what I ripped right from the movie word-for-word), and you have to be a MAJOR GEEK to get all of it. There are other geeky bits too which probably no one at all will get, but that's okay because I understand them and that's what counts. I think. Warning: this hasn't been betaed yet. I just wanted to get it posted. And without further ado...
A Pulp Gundam Halloween
by danse
Chapter One: Fox Force Five
Heero and Trowa were watching a baseball game when Duo walked in, grabbed the remote from the arm of the couch, and promptly turned off the TV. "Guys, I have the most killer idea ever," he said excitedly, standing just far enough in front of them to keep from being hit.
"And what would that be?" Trowa said slowly, his gaze fixed on the remote, which was held protectively in Duo's right hand.
"You know that Halloween party that Relena's hosting next week?" he chirped, deftly sliding the offending object behind his back and out of sight.
"Yep," Heero said impatiently, flexing his hand on the arm of the couch where the remote had just been. "What about it?" He gave the American a 'get on with it' look.
"Well," Duo continued, sliding his gaze away from Heero's to stare at the lamp, "we need costumes, right? She put it on the invitation—it's a costume party and we won't get in without them. So I was thinking of group costumes for us, since those are pretty cool, and then it came to me." He paused for dramatic effect, saw the blank, impatient faces in front of him, faltered and then tried to pick his enthusiasm back up anyway. "The Fox Force Five!" He spread his arms wide. "Pretty awesome, huh?"
Trowa leaned back into the cushion and crossed his arms over his chest. "Who the hell are the Fox Force Five?" he asked. "Sounds like Power Rangers or something."
Heero, on the other hand, had apparently understood the reference. He pinned Duo with his gaze. "I don't suppose you were watching one of your favourite movies when you came up with this ingenious plan, were you?" he asked dryly.
Duo had the grace to blush. "I might have been," he mumbled.
Trowa had turned to face the man sitting beside him. "You know what's going on? Please explain."
Heero sighed. "Have you ever seen the movie Pulp--"
Duo interrupted him. "If he hasn't seen it at least once, then I may never speak to him again."
"Pulp Fiction," Heero continued as if Duo had never spoken. When Trowa nodded hesitantly, he went on. "Okay, well, Uma Thurman's character, that mob boss' wife, talks about a TV pilot she did once. About the Fox Force Five."
Understanding began to dawn on Trowa's face, and Duo jumped back in excitedly to finish selling it to him. "Yes! The Fox Force Five! 'Fox', as in they're a bunch of foxy chicks, 'Force', as in they're a force to be reckoned with, and 'Five', as in there are one-two-three-four-five of them. There's a blonde one, Somerset O'Neill; she's the lea--"
"Wait," Trowa cut in, holding up a hand as if that could stop Duo now that he'd gotten going. "Did you just say foxy chicks? As in women? As in, you want us to cross-dress?" He looked horrified.
Duo crossed his arms indignantly. "Well dammit, Barton, it's Halloween! We're allowed! Besides, honestly, if we don't cross-dress for a costume like this then it's like we're not trying at all. See, they're female secret agents--" he was off on his tangent again, "--and there's the leader, who I was just talking about, and the Japanese Fox is a kung-fu master; there's a black one who's a demolitions expert, the French Fox's specialty is sex..." Trowa looked about to either interrupt again or try to leave the room, so Duo went for the kill. "And you, sir, you shall be Raven McCoy."
Trowa froze and gave him a look that was mostly forbidding but also slightly curious, and Duo knew that he had practically won. Mentally congratulating himself, he baited the trap some more. "Her specialty is knives."
When he didn't continue, Trowa licked his lips unconsciously and prompted him to. "Knives?"
"Knives," Duo answered sweetly. "See, she was raised by circus performers. According to this show, she was the deadliest woman in the world with a knife. And she knew a zillion old jokes her grandfather, this old Vaudevillian, taught her. There was supposed to be a gimmick where in every episode, she would tell a joke."
Duo's quarry looked bemused, now. "Sounds like my sister," he drawled.
"Even the jokes?" Heero asked in surprise.
"She has her moments," Trowa responded, rolling his eyes.
Duo bounced on the balls of his feet, letting the TV remote hang forgotten at his side. "So will you do it?" he asked.
"Fine," Trowa sighed, sounding very put upon, just as Heero lunged for the remote. Duo did not miss the quick caress his hand received even as the other man stole it, though. He smiled softly to himself as the other two turned the TV back on, watching the screen rapturously. "Jeez, the inning changed while you were talking!" Heero cried, throwing his free hand into the air in exasperation. "The Swallows are up three runs!"
"Ha!" Trowa barked in response, throwing a fist up into the air. "You're gonna owe me ten bucks before this is over, mark my words, Yuy!"
"As if I could ever bet against the Hanshin Tigers," Heero growled. "It's not over yet, Barton."
"Good thing for you this isn't for the pennant, then," Trowa quipped just as Duo left the room, shaking his head. Japanese baseball existed way outside his radar.
Anyway, he still had two other people to sell on the idea, and then costumes to plan, all in less than a week. It was time to get busy.
Chapter Two: The Art of Self-Preservation
"Duo, I can't believe you!" Quatre cried, his hands clutching fistfuls of his hair hard enough to hurt himself. He stalked away from the station wagon, kicking at yellowing weeds. Trowa glanced over his shoulder at Duo, looking a little annoyed himself, before chasing after Quatre.
Duo, for his part, had sunk into a crouch, his SW99 handgun dangling loosely from his hand between his knees. He was staring resolutely at the ground, chewing his bottom lip and scratching at the back of his neck with his free hand. If someone had later asked Heero to define 'shame and embarrassment', he would have immediately thought of this moment. Trying to ignore the icky feeling of drying goo all over the back of his head and neck, Heero knelt down next to him, watching Trowa trying to console Quatre several yards down the road.
"Come on, Duo," he said finally, still watching Quatre. "Accidents happen. It's not the end of the world. Besides, it could have been worse."
He looked at Duo just in time to catch his baleful glare. "Yeah? How do you figure that, Heero?" he growled.
Heero raised an eyebrow, feeling a slight grin tug at the corners of his mouth. "Could have been some guy's head," he said. The look that immediately came over Duo's face made him laugh out loud, which earned him a rather painful smack in the arm, which in turn made him laugh so hard he sat right down in the dirt, holding his stomach. Duo abruptly got to his feet and walked around to the other side of the parked station wagon, crossing his arms over his chest and staring into the distance. Heero could see his pistol still hanging slackly in his right hand.
Quatre had apparently recovered somewhat and he came back to the car with Trowa in tow. "What's so funny?" he demanded, shutting Heero up somewhat, although the occasional giggle still bubbled up from him. "Wufei let us borrow his wagon for this and now we've nearly destroyed it! It was such a simple errand! He's going to kill us! He's going to kill me! I promised him nothing would happen to it!" His voice rose with each exclamation until he was nearly yelling. Trowa gave him an alarmed look and started patting his arm reassuringly, which Quatre shrugged off. "What are we going to do?" he cried.
Heero simply clambered back to his feet, dusting off the back of his pants. He reached out his hand toward Quatre. "Let me use your cell phone," he said.
He got a suspicious look instead of the phone. "Why?"
The Japanese boy's eyes narrrowed. "Do you want me to fix this or not? Phone," he insisted, emphasizing the last word with his outstretched hand.
Sighing loudly, Quatre dug his phone out of his jacket and gave it to Heero, who wasted no time in flipping it open and going through the contact list. As he put it to his ear, he turned away from the group and wandered toward the back of the wagon, propping himself up on the tailgate as he listened to it ringing. A female voice answered after four rings.
"Sally? Yeah, it's Heero," he said, seeing Duo's slow approach out of the corner of his eye as he listened to her. "I'm fine, I'm fine. Well, sort of. No, we got your message about the pumpkin carving contest," he said, reaching out and grabbing Duo's hand to pull the other man down next to him. "That's actually kind of why I'm calling... no, the directions you gave us were good and we found the place with no problem. Managed to get one of the last pumpkins they had left. But we were heading back home and we kind of ran into... a situation. Yeah, it's... what? No, no one's dead! Jesus, Sally! We just... kind of completely wrecked the interior of Wufei's station wagon, and if we take the thing home like this, he'll kill us all." He scratched at the back of his head; the goo there was drying and it itched something horrible. "Well, I'm not sure, but I was wondering if you thought Zechs would be around. Like, I know he's helping out a lot with the party and stuff, but it's kind of urgent... Really? Sally, you're beautiful. Thanks. We owe you one." Heero closed the phone, turned to Duo with a grin, and planted a big kiss on his lips before jumping to his feet.
"Alright," he said, tossing Quatre's cell phone back at him, "we're going to Sally's place. Zechs should be there in about fifteen minutes and they're gonna help us sort this out. Let's roll." He opened the back door and shoved Duo in before climbing in himself. Quatre and Trowa jumped in the front and Trowa peeled out of the ditch they'd been parked in and started racing back into town. Heero kept holding Duo's hand to reassure him, because he still looked depressed. "Hey," he said softly, leaning toward his ear, "everything's gonna work out fine. No homicides today, alright? Cheer up." That coaxed a tiny smile back onto Duo's face and Heero settled back into the wet seat as comfortably as he could. They'd just called in the cavalry, after all; everything would work itself out.
They pulled into the driveway of Sally's condo about ten minutes later and she came out to meet them. "Well, boys, what seems to be the—why are you all covered in orange slime?!" She stopped halfway across her little lawn, her hand over her mouth in shock, staring at them as they all clambered out of Wufei's wagon.
Heero grimaced. "Like I said on the phone, we had a situation."
Sally had just noticed the vehicle itself, and wandered closer, staring at it in wonder. "The entire back half is covered in orange! It looks like a pumpkin spontaneously exploded!" she exclaimed, her hand braced on one of the windows as she peered inside.
That helped her to miss Duo's sudden blush straight to the ears.
Trowa snorted. "Yeah, that sounds about right."
Sally's head snapped up and she gave him a shrewd look, looking like she was about to demand an explanation, but then she just shook her head. "I called Zechs; he should be here any minute. Let's go inside where it's warmer and wait for him." The four boys obeyed, following her into the house.
Sally's kitchen was bright and warm and smelled delicious—she'd been baking squares to take to the party. They all crowded in there with cups of coffee, trying not to touch anything and get pumpkin guts all over her clean furniture. Feeling the awkward silence that ensued, Quatre sipped at his coffee. "Wow, this stuff is good!" he said, sounding impressed. "Where do you buy it?"
"I get my beans from a little store downtown," she answered, leaning against the counter with a cup in hand. "I must confess, I'm a bit of a coffee snob. When Noin lived with me a while back, she always bought the cheap crap. Drove me crazy." She took a sip, smiling.
Just about then, there was a knock on the door. Sally went to get it and came back with Zechs in tow, who was looking like he was about to fall over. "Coffee, Zechs?" Sally asked, already reaching for the cupboard where the mugs were.
Zechs nodded, taking the full cup gratefully and swallowing a huge mouthful. He immediately looked down at it in surprise and then turned around to salute Sally with it, smiling.
"Alright, gentlemen," he started, smile vanishing. "I understand that you have a problem and that you want me to fix it. Please detail the situation for me."
Heero opened his mouth but was stopped by Duo's hand on his arm. Duo nervously put down his coffee and started to tell the story himself. "It all went down like this," he said.
Chapter Three: The Perfect Pumpkin
"And then you turn left up at that signpost," Quatre said, pointing out the post in question to Trowa, who nodded and turned the wheel accordingly.
They were on an errand, to go get a pumpkin for the carving contest that Sally had told them Relena was having at her party that night. Considering it was already October 30th, pumpkins were generally getting to be in short supply, but the ever-reliable Sally had been able to give them directions to a local farm that supposedly still had quite a few good ones left.
All of the former Gundam pilots except Wufei had been available to go get the thing that afternoon before the party; Wufei had had to beg off to go finish some things at work, but had lent them the keys to his station wagon instead, making them promise that nothing would happen to it (he was very protective of it, considering it was only a station wagon and a used one at that, but Wufei had always had a complex about his vehicles). After Quatre had offered to bet his life on its well-being, they set off into the countryside to find this farm and their pumpkin.
The farm, as it turned out, had been a popular destination that afternoon for last-minute jack o'lanterns. "Them're my last two left f'r sale," the elderly farmer said around a toothpick, gesturing toward two pumpkins sitting sadly on a dirt-splotched pallet.
Heero nodded brusquely and strode over to the pallet, kneeling down to examine the choices. After rolling them this way and that for a minute, he looked up at his companions and waved them over. "That one's got a little mold on the bottom," he said, pointing at the one on their left, "but it stands up better than the other one." The other one wasn't so much round or even elliptical; it had a wobbly base and a pointy top and the backside was still a rather prominent shade of green. The boys all looked at each other for a minute and then pointed in unison at the moldy-bottomed pumpkin, which was at least the shape that pumpkins are generally supposed to be, as far as they were concerned. They were just handing over the cash for it when another car pulled up the drive with a family in it, apparently destined for the demented-looking straggler or no pumpkin at all. By unspoken agreement, the boys all got back in Wufei's station wagon as quickly as they could without looking too guilty.
As Trowa pulled out of the drive and back onto the country road and Heero carefully positioned their new pumpkin in the back so that it wouldn't roll around, Duo reached inside his jacket and pulled his handgun out of his shoulder holster. He saw Heero jump out of the corner of his eye and looked up at him. "What?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.
Heero stared at him. "Duo, what the hell are you doing with that?" he hissed, stabbing a finger toward the gun.
Duo shrugged. "I kind of didn't turn it in after work today. Needs cleaning, and I don't trust those jokers in the armoury to do a proper job of it," he explained, discharging the magazine into his lap.
"So you're doing it in the car?"
Duo couldn't see what was the big deal. "I do it when I remember it," he answered. "Tonight's gonna be busy and I want it clean tomorrow for work. If I take it home and don't clean it, Une will either slap me or stop looking the other way for me, or both." As he talked, he kept methodically taking the gun apart, placing the spring on Heero's lap to force him to babysit it. He reached into another inside pocket of his Preventers jacket to pull out a small, well-used cleaning kit.
Heero didn't say anything more, although he kept shaking his head periodically and playing with the spring he was supposed to be looking after. Duo could see Quatre shooting occasional glances over his shoulder at the proceedings, although he apparently knew better than to say anything.
Eight minutes later, the gun was back together and the familiar click of a round entering the chamber filled the backseat over the sound of "Misirlou" (by Dick Dale, Duo recalled to himself) playing on the radio. Heero gave him a sardonic look. "That was fast. And the armoury guys don't do a thorough job, huh?"
Duo rolled his eyes, stretching his right hand with the gun over the back of the seat and slightly behind Heero, letting the weight of the gun pull his hand down lazily. "I've had some practice, pal. It's not haste, it's efficiency. Those twats wouldn't know a revolver from a longbow if you shot them with it, I swear."
It happened pretty fast: Trowa flinched as the left side of the station wagon lurched twice, each wheel hitting a deep pothole. The second bump felt enormous to Duo, and he fell toward the door a bit just as there was an ear-splitting BANG and something orange splurted everywhere.
Heero ducked and covered his head, Quatre grabbed for the handle in the roof to hold onto, and Trowa swore incomprehensibly as the car started swerving all over the road.
"Jesus Christ, Duo!"
"Duo, what the fuck!" The car screeched to a stop in the ditch as the other three boys turned on him as one.
"Was that a fucking gunshot?" Trowa yelled. "What the fuck did you just shoot? Oh my fuck, was that the pumpkin? Are you out of your goddamn mind? Why is there a gun in your hand at all?!" His face was turning red and Duo could see his hands shaking a bit, although they were still glued to the wheel. Obviously, he'd gone soft in the peacetime years, Duo thought in passing.
Quatre was looking wildly around, rubbing smears of pumpkin guts off of the window so he could see the road better. "You'd better hope there were no cops around to hear or see that, or we're all in trouble," he muttered.
Duo made a face. "Big deal. Cops carry guns. I carry a gun. I'm almost a cop. I have a license to carry it. What can they do?"
"You don't have a license to discharge it in a car!" Heero hissed incredulously. "And why did you do that? Wasn't the safety on?"
"Yes, it was!" Duo yelled back. "I swear it was! I--" he floundered for words, gesturing helplessly at the still-warm (and clean) gun in his hand. "I don't know what happened! It must have gone off by mistake when we hit that bump or something." He looked around at the three glaring faces, covered to varying degrees with orange goo. "...I'm sorry!" he wailed.
Chapter Four: The Wufei Situation
Zechs put down his empty coffee cup on the counter and cupped his chin in his hand ponderously. "So," he said, "we have an exploded pumpkin in an orange station wagon that doesn't belong to you, and four people covered in suspicious-looking goo. There is a Halloween party in..." he swung around to look at the clock behind him, "...four hours, and you need to be clean, innocent-looking, costumed, and preferably in possession of another pumpkin by then." He took a deep breath and looked around him. "Alright gentlemen, you all know how to follow orders by now, I hope. Just stick with me and we'll have this all sorted out in time for Wufei not to string you all up, starting with Mr. Maxwell over there." Duo swallowed involuntarily at those words, staring at his coffee. "Let's head out to the car."
As the four boys filed back out of the kitchen, Zechs turned to Sally. "Sally, my dear, I need some things from you..."
"Spic and span, boys," Zechs said as Sally handed Duo and Heero garbage bags, window cleaner and rolls of paper towel. "The car's unfortunately got a cloth interior, but our lovely Sally here has a steam cleaner that she's fortunately willing to let us use. First of all, you have to pick up all the bits and goo that have gotten spewed all over the interior, and try not to miss any of the seeds. Get all the goo off before you start spraying the windows, or it'll smear like nobody's business. Be quick but thorough; I want this all done in an hour, if possible. Now go." He waved them off toward the car and walked back into the house with the owner, saying something that made her laugh as they opened the front door.
Heero turned to glare at Duo. "You're cleaning the back," he said darkly, yanking open the front passenger door and sliding inside.
Duo sighed and followed, opening the back hatch and scraping goo off the window with his fingers, watching it plop into his garbage bag. "Ew, this shit feels disgusting. This is why I hate carving pumpkins; you gotta dig out the inside with your hands and it's like giving someone a lobotomy with only a pair of gloves on or something."
"Somehow I bet brains aren't as stringy," Heero grunted, scrubbing fiercely at the back of the driver's seat with a paper towel.
Duo glanced at him, took in the concentrated, dark look on his face, and kept silent as he tossed the remaining chunks of the shell into the bag.
Ten minutes later, he was picking seeds out of the gritty, fuzzy cloth in the back, and he couldn't stand it any longer. "Can we turn on the radio?" he asked.
"No."
He flinched a little at the venom in Heero's voice, but he was too bored to stay silent. He licked his lips nervously before trying again. "I wonder what Q and Tro are doing," he said.
Heero stopped wiping the windshield, threw his paper towel into the trash bag, and draped his arm over the front seat to face Duo. "Whatever it is, it's probably less horrible than cleaning drying, crusty pumpkin guts out of Wufei's shitty station wagon," he said calmly. He locked eyes with Duo, who wanted to look away but couldn't and felt himself turning red.
"W-well, uh, um." He cleared his throat, picking at the scratchy floor upholstery. "It... was a crappy pumpkin anyway?"
He regretted it as soon as he said it, and had to duck the handful of pumpkin Heero immediately slung at him, but he caught sight of a flicker of a grin and felt a little better. "Hey!" he said with as much indignation as he could muster. "I just cleaned that back window off!"
Quatre and Trowa were being sent on a different mission. The first part involved ridicule.
"I-I'm sorry, I just..." Sally trailed off as she wiped tears of mirth from her eyes. "I just..." she started as she looked at them again, and doubled over laughing once more.
Zechs was a little more composed, but a big grin refused to leave his face as he regarded the two unfortunate warriors in front of him, one hand patting Sally's shoulder and the other holding the bundle of their stained clothing.
Trowa and Quatre themselves had been dressed for the interim in pairs of Sally's sweatpants, which were nearly long enough to fit Trowa but not quite, and nearly wide enough to fit Quatre's hips comfortably, but still, not quite. Their looks were topped off with some old t-shirts: Quatre's was a YWCA shirt with paint spots on it and Trowa's advertised the fight against breast cancer. They both had their arms crossed awkwardly over their chests.
"So how do they look?" Zechs asked cheerfully.
"D-dorks," Sally choked out, still giggling. "T-they look like a couple of dorks."
Zechs dug around in his pocket and came out with his car keys. "Alright, guys. Take my car to my place. Noin should be there, along with two pumpkins. Your mission is to take one of them and run for your lives before she notices."
Trowa gave him a puzzled look. "Run...?"
Zechs shrugged. "One is for the contest and one is for our trick-or-treaters. I don't think we need two but she does. Now we have friends in need. I think the two of you can take her."
They looked at each other uneasily, and then Trowa snatched the keys with a scowl and they marched out the door. "This is not worth a pumpkin," Quatre muttered as they left. They heard Sally snort loudly behind them.
Two hours before the party was due to start, Wufei's station wagon had been cleaned and inspected and had passed muster. Duo and Heero were sitting around in their boxers while their clean clothes were finishing their dryer cycle, and Heero watched with a brush in hand as Duo blow dried his hair. As Duo switched off the hair dryer, Trowa and Quatre walked in the room, dressed in their own freshly laundered clothes, and handed Duo his gun. He cocked an eyebrow as he ejected the magazine and looked in it. "You took out all the cartridges," he said flatly.
Quatre crossed his arms and gave him a stern look. "We almost didn't make it out alive with the new pumpkin," he growled. "You are not giving us a repeat performance, under any circumstances."
"O ye of little faith," Duo muttered, placing the gun beside him on his chair. "Are my pants dry yet?" he asked more loudly.
"Yes, they are," Sally trilled, breezing into her sitting room with an armload of clothes. "Here you go, guys. Try not to get them dirty again," she said sweetly.
Heero gave Duo a sharp look, because he seemed to be about to give Sally the finger. "Okay, well," he said quickly. "Time for us to get going, I guess. Thank you so much, Sally." He finished pulling on his clothes and gave her a quick hug. "Duo, come on. Let's get going, guys." He beckoned to them as he headed toward the front door. They'd been gone forever and Wufei would be back home by now, wondering where the hell they were.
Unsurprisingly, Quatre's cell phone rang as they were buckling themselves into the car. "Hello?" he said. "Hey, Wufei. No, yeah, we're on our way back home. We took a wrong turn and got lost, and it took quite a while to get back to where we started. That's what we get for letting Duo navigate." Heero smirked and laid a hand on Duo's arm as he barked out a protest. "Yeah, yeah, we'll be home in about ten minutes, I think," Quatre said as Trowa backed out of the driveway and onto the road. "Could you get all the costume stuff out while you're waiting? It'll save us some time. Okay, bye!" He snapped the phone shut and breathed out heavily before turning to look at Duo. "You are so lucky," he breathed, looking more threatening than probably should have been possible for him.
Duo shrank back into the seat a little as they drove on.
Chapter Five: This Is Halloween
Wufei was muttering all the way up the front walk to Relena's door. "My nylons are riding up," he growled. "Why did I have to wear these, again?"
"Because you're a team player, Chang," Heero retorted as he rang the doorbell. They could hear a flurry of footsteps before it was flung open by a bubbly-looking blonde in red lipstick and a ruffly, white dress. Pargan was visible in the background, looking somewhat disapproving of his job being taken. The five boys and the blonde bombshell stared at each other for a moment, universally agog, before Quatre broke the silence.
"Relena?" he asked. "Is that you under all that makeup?"
She grinned. "I don't know what you're talking about," she insisted, her voice sounding breathy. "My name is Marilyn Monroe." She reached forward and bodily pulled Heero through the door, obliging the others to follow him, before turning around and calling out past the foyer. "Hilde, come look at these guys!" she cried.
They all made their way toward the enormous main floor sitting area as Hilde popped out of the kitchen, wearing a white dinner jacket and horn-rimmed glasses. Her hair was slicked back. "Oh my god, you're all women!" she screeched, rushing toward them and skidding to a stop. Closer up, it was easy to see her plaid slacks and saddle shoes; her outfit, whatever it was, matched Relena's in time period. "Who are you supposed to be?" she asked, examining Duo's makeup with interest.
Grinning, Duo gave his brushed-out hair a flick. "We're the Fox Force Five!" he proclaimed, knowing she would get it.
She stared for a second, and then understanding dawned on her face. "Jesus, that's amazing!" she cried, looking very excited. "I love Pulp Fiction!"
Wufei groaned upon hearing this.
"Okay, okay, guess who I am!" Hilde continued, striking a pose and slicking her hair back, although a generous amount of pomade seemed to be doing the job on its own. Relena posed beside her, blowing a kiss for effect.
Everyone stared. "I have no idea," Trowa said eventually.
Hilde pouted. "I'm Buddy Holly! Dammit, why does no one get it?"
Duo just grinned and immediately started to sing. "Ooh eee ooh, I look just like Buddy Holly, ooh eee ooh, and you're Mary Tyler Moore..." He danced around the room for effect as she looked ready to swat at him.
"Okay," Relena said, assuming her own voice again, "let's move this into the other room where the snacks are." She made ushering gestures as they filed into the living room, seeing dozens of other guests standing around in costume and chatting as a DJ set up his booth in the corner. Fortunately, the whole room had wood floors, so pushing the rugs and furniture away had made a lovely dancing space.
"Ouch, look," Duo said to Heero as they spotted Dorothy nearby, drinking punch. "Looks like she picked Marilyn Monroe, too. That sucks for Relena." Dorothy, who had fluffed her hair up as well but sported big earrings and a pantsuit, sauntered over to them.
"Actually," she purred, apparently having heard them, "I'm dressed as Mamie Van Doren, another 50's pop culture icon. The three of us are a matched set." She looked over the five former pilots and smirked. "Actually, maybe the eight of us are a different kind of matched set." With that, she made her way over to a group of strangers to talk to them.
Heero shrugged his penciled-on eyebrows. "Cryptic as ever, I see."
Zechs met all of them at the main snack table, with Noin at his side, who still looked slightly annoyed about her unwilling role in the whole pumpkin fiasco. "Well, I see you all had time to get cleaned up nice," he smirked. "And who are you dressed as?"
The boys all stood in a line, as rehearsed, struck poses, and let Duo do the talking. "We are the Fox Force Five, as mentioned in the movie Pulp Fiction," he said. "This," he said, pointing to Heero, who was wearing a long, blonde wig and a red dress with fake breasts, "is the leader, Somerset O'Neill." Next was Wufei, who was sporting a blue qipao and had his hair up in two little buns. "This is the Japanese Fox, and she's a kung-fu master. I'm the demolitions expert, the French Fox over here specializes in sex..." Quatre blushed fiercely under his beret and brown wig at the mention of his role, while Trowa smirked faintly, smothering it as Duo came to him. "And this is Raven McCoy, circus-trained and the deadliest woman in the world with a knife. She has a joke for us, don't you, Raven?" Duo grinned.
Trowa sighed and then straightened with a smile, giving his hair a little toss. "Three tomatoes are walking along: a papa tomato, mama tomato, and baby tomato. The baby tomato starts falling behind, and the papa tomato gets frustrated. So he goes back and squishes the baby tomato and says, 'Ketchup'."
Zechs stared for a minute and then closed his eyes slowly. Noin bit her lip. "Brilliant."
"Thank you," Trowa said softly, shifting in his high heels. "So, you're Dracula?" he asked, changing the subject.
Zechs smiled broadly, swirling the cloak he was wearing. "Yes, yes I am. Here, I put my fangs down on the table so I could eat," he said, picking them up and popping them back into his mouth so that they could have the full effect. "Noin said I had the pallor for it," he said, his words muffled by the plastic teeth.
Heero snorted. "Who's Noin, then, a victim?" he asked, nodding at her. She wore a long, frilly nightdress and sported puncture marks on her neck.
"I'm Lucy," she said brightly, looking like her mood was improving. "Dracula's victim who Dr. Van Helsing tried to save. It's a lame joke, but I couldn't help it," she said.
Zechs piped up again. "We were trying to convince Pargan to dress up as Dr. Van Helsing, but he wouldn't go for it. Said butlers didn't dress up for Halloween. We decided he looks enough like him anyway to pretend he is whether he helps or not."
Heero, Wufei and Quatre were the only ones who understood what was going on past the fact that Zechs was Dracula, but it appeared to be a long story, so Trowa and Duo settled for cluelessness and started eating the quiche.
A few minutes of casual conversation later, Relena got up on a chair and asked for everyone's attention. "All right everybody, we'll be set up for the pumpkin carving contest in a little bit, but first we're gonna get things started with a dance contest! Since the co-hostesses are all in a 50's mood, we've decided on a twist contest. So, grab a partner and get into the circle to compete for the trophy!"
When her announcement was finished, Duo turned back to the refreshment table where he'd just put down his drink, but he felt a tug on the sleeve of his dress and turned around to see Heero there, a mischievous look on his face.
"Dance with me?" he said coyly, his eyes glittering.
Duo stared. "You twist?"
"And shout, occasionally. Come on, let's win that trophy. You must have some moves up your sleeve, Music Man."
Duo put his punch glass down decisively. "Heero Yuy, that sounds like a challenge."
Heero shrugged theatrically, walking backwards with a slow, decisive swing of his hips. His ability to walk so easily in high heels was clearly yet another facet of The Perfect Soldier that had taken years of practice to master. Or something. Duo shook his head ruefully and followed him to the circle of contestants and audience.
They went third, after Zechs and Noin, and Dorothy and a man in a mummy costume. Heero tugged Duo out to the middle of the circle, stepping out of their shoes, and they locked eyes. Their song started up and Duo cocked his head, smiling gradually as he listened to the opening chords. "Johnny B. Goode," he purred.
"How good?" Heero retorted as they started to dance.
Their dance was a strange blend of teamwork, oneupmanship, and plain fun, with just a bit of sexuality thrown in. Duo thought that for a 50's-era dance, managing any of that was pretty good. He was so caught up in watching Heero's hips move and matching his steps that he almost didn't notice when the song ended. As they dropped their arms and separated, they realized that they were getting applause. They looked at each other, and Heero made a face that said, 'not bad, huh?' Duo winked back and picked up his shoes.
As they slipped back into the circle for the last pair of dancers to perform, Quatre leaned toward Duo slightly. "And my specialty is sex?" he murmured. "I think you assigned that one wrong."
Duo blushed and tried to watch the people dancing.
When the twist contest was over, Relena sashayed into the centre of the circle, holding a trophy with a pair of dancers on the top. "And after much debate, our judging panel has decided to award Duo and Heero with first prize!" she said, as half the room started clapping and whistling. Heero grabbed Duo's hand and went to accept the trophy, kissing him over it to much hooting and hollering.
"Happy Halloween," Heero whispered into Duo's lips.
"Yes, indeed," was all Duo could say as they walked back over to the other three members of their group, trying not to trip in their high heels.
"Well, guys," Heero said, brandishing their prize, "now that we've won the twist contest, it's up to you to win the pumpkin carving one."
"Damn straight," Trowa agreed, tucking the hair of his wig back behind his ears and shifting his skirt a little. "After all that trouble we went to to get the damn pumpkin for it." Too late, he realized what he'd said and darted a glance at Wufei.
Wufei snorted. "Like I said to Quatre on the phone, that's what you get for letting Duo navigate. Now come on, I have the plan of the century for this pumpkin, and we are going to win if it kills us."
Letting out a collective sigh of relief, they followed Wufei to a table in the corner to discuss the plan.
A/N: I should have been in bed an hour ago! I think I'll get my beta reader to give this a once-over and then repost it later, but for now I just wanted it up as close to Halloween as possible, so forgive any errors even though I've read it over. Happy Halloween:D