Day 1: Just Friends - LadyoftheBirds

A/N: So yeah, apparantly I'm doing this with Luv Maddics. Am I going to regret this? Absolutely.

"We're just friends, right?"

They always say that when your in a frenzied moment of panic, it can feel like you're drowning. While I wasn't exactly fighting Hawkmoth, those four words knocked the wind right from my lungs.

"Right." I half-heartedly reply.

Marinette smiled weakly, before turning and walking out of the park.

I kept telling myself that Ladybug was the one for me, but after years of pining after her, I realized that maybe it was all for vain. She told me time and time again she loved someone else, and I was being inconsiderate and childish.

Now here I am, the age where most consider their prime. Off to college in a few months, with absolutely no plans as to what to do. They say high school comes with several changes, and I agree, but with my family and the company, I just wished that I would have someone who would forever be by my side.

Maybe that's why I sought approval for so long. Maybe that's why I tried to give so many another chance.

Because I wanted something concrete.

I thought it would be Ladybug, but the night I confessed I had fell out of love with her, I felt free, despite it seeming a part of her still lingered to be by me.

But as Marinette walked away, despite my main goal to be getting ready for the whirlwind of new responsibilities, I couldn't help but wonder if maybe it was her all along. Maybe my rejecting of her a few months ago wasn't what I needed. Maybe it was because I was all too blind.

But time stops for no one.

Months after my putting her down, my indecisive self confronted her with the vague hope that we could build a future together. But what I had originally thought to be destiny, she only put it off as desperate- which makes sense.

sane person, I seem like I'm only using Marinette as a second fiddle. I wish things were different. I wish I wasn't so blind in the past. Maybe then I could be with the one I was always destined to love. Maybe then we wouldn't be playing this came of cat and mouse.

It was like the universe refused to show me my red string. It was like the universe refused to let me feel joy, even if it was for one fleeting moment.

Throughout the years, I had so often turned a blind eye on Marinette's attempts to show me reflection, yet here I am trying to make an attempt to do the same but fall short. Marinette was the one who truly loved me. Marinette was the one who tried time and time again to get past my blindness. I didn't deserve her.

A year ago, I learned the birthday gift that I had originally assumed was my father's turned out to be Marinette, who would of rather let me be happy with a lie than take credit. Never before have I gotten anything as personal as that scarf, and once I learned it wasn't my father's, deep down I knew that it made sense. It was too good to be true.

And so here I am, standing at a crossroads. I knew, deep down, that Marinette had long moved on, yet here I was with a choice. I could chase after her and be the hypocrite I was, or I could let her be happy.

Why couldn't I have both?

In every love story that had struck my heartstrings, there was a happy ending. Blame it on my childish hope that things would work out in the end, but even after my mom disappeared into the night, I held onto that faint hope that she would return.

The sun and moon danced around one another as I found myself facing Marinette once again.

"What's wrong, Adrien?" she asked, her eyes innocent yet expectant.

I stepped closer as I felt Marinette's breath blow against my chest. Sucking up my hesitation, I bent down as I leaned closer to her. Our lips were so close, so soon, but as I was finally about to find bliss, when it finally seemed as if Marinette consented, she stepped back.

"This could never work."

Because there was another boy.

Her posture was straight and sure, yet her bluebell pools lingered to what could have been.

"I'm sorry, Adrien, but that boat sunk long ago."

I nodded. I should have expected this. I should've known that stability would never be part of my life. I should've known that once again, time would not be by my side.

There were others more suited for her, more loving to her. There was Luka, the guy who had been interested in Marinette since the beginning. Especially after the time we sort of double-dated, I knew that even if there was some attraction towards me, Marinette was already too far gone.

As we stared at each other for eternity, I felt the words I needed to say appear in my mouth. I felt the words that was always guaranteed. I felt the words that I subconsciously knew I would have to say.

"I'm sorry."

And as I turned around and walked away, I found my legs give out as I crumple onto the stairs. Curled up into a ball, praying that only the sun could see me.

I shouldn't have been crying. It was Marinette that was truly hurt. She was hurt by all my rejections and unnoticed advantages. She moved on, yet I was still here clinging with the faint hope I still had a string. This was my fault. I should have noticed her sooner. I should have shown I cared.

You will never get to see what I truly wanted. You will never get to read that I was too blind to realize it was you all along. I'm sorry.

I wished that I could've done more.

I wished we could've been more than just friends.

11-21-18

Adrien Agreste