Chapter One

Carlos was an outsider to Night Vale. He was a scientist, not a botanist. But life was strange, and as it just so happened, there was another outsider to a town not too far away, only he was a botanist. Regis Santiago had heard rumor of a strange desert town that apparently had a bountiful orange crop. This, of course, was impossible, but his profession demanded a certain amount of field work. So, taking only a suitcase full of clothing and a few other necessities, he drove his dented old car out to the middle of the desert, into the seemingly friendly town of Desert Bluffs.

It was mid-day when he arrived and the blazing hot sun was high in the sky. There had been something strange about the sun today, Regis could have sworn it had risen twice in one morning, but he quickly dismissed the ridiculous notion, chalking it up to road fatigue. Desert Bluffs looked like a bustling slice of a Norman Rockwell painting, only, stranger, he wasn't sure how. It was really much too hot for him to be getting the chills, but something about the place raised the hair on the back of his neck.

Pulling into an unmarked parking place, he turned the ignition off and his old car rattled to rest (He hoped not for the last time.) The Botanist sat in his car for a few minutes, already feeling the hot sun baking his car. Orange groves! Here? It was ridiculous! Maybe it had been a mistake coming here after all. The Dark skinned man ran his fingers through his tightly curled black hair and drew an uncertain breath, wondering where to even start. Well, getting out of the car was as good a place as any.

Regis popped open the door of his car, and stepped out, finding that it was even hotter out here than in his idle car. He wished he had changed into a short sleeved shirt. Regardless of his desire for cooler clothing, he left the relative comfort of his car, approaching a man he saw standing, pumping gas at a nearby station.

"Excuse me!" He called, raising a hand to draw the man's attention as he neared him. "My names Santiago, I'm a Botanist, I'm here looking into the-" Regis's words died in his throat as the man turned to face him. His senses were certainly not playing tricks on him now. The man's eyes were black as obsidian, and a sharp toothed smile was pulled grotesquely across his features, and was that? Oh god, Blood!

Regis startled, pulling back a little, before self preservation kicked in and he acted in his best interest, backpedaling, and tearing away from the monster. The man bolted towards his car, hearing the monster call after him in a deceptively friendly tone. But again he found his path blocked. A little girl with the same black, soulless eyes and shark-like teeth stood right by the driver's-side door of his car. She was gently cradling a bright yellow balloon filled with a sloshing black liquid. Regis recoiled, suddenly noting that everyone was just the same! The man, the girl, the shop-keeper across the street, the man selling what looked like bleeding pretzels only a few feet away on the curb, they were all monster! With his car blocked by one of these unholy demons, Regis took the only option left to him, he darted into the closest building his could find and slammed the door shut, hurling his weight against it. The man caught his breath, knees trembling, eyes wild with fear.

"What's going on?" A friendly, almost chipper voice asked him. Regis wheeled around, grabbing the shoulders of the person who had approached him and pushing him back against the wall.

"Don't go outside!" He yelled urgently, his fingernails digging crescent shaped marks in the skin of the man's forearms. "There are monsters out there!" The man looked up, a curious expression on his face, blinking obsidian black eyes.

"What do you mean monsters?" He asked, his lips parting to reveal his wickedly sharp teeth.

An extremely undignified scream escaped Regis's throat and he stumbled back away lurching for the door. As he lunged back out into the scorching sun, he could have sworn he felt the creatures hand just miss the back of his neck, his fingernails just barely brushing his skin before he escaped.

The best thing that had happened to Regis all day was that the little monster girl with her freaky, sludge-filled balloon had gone, leaving him with a clear path to his car. He dove into its safe interior, shaking hands fumbling for the key. Scientific phenomenon or not, no orange grove was worth dodging (Presumably) flesh-eating monster for.

Finally Regis got his fine motor skills under control enough that he could insert the key into the ignition, turning it desperately. The car gave a sick sounding cough before purring to life. Thank god. If the car had been previously described as purring, it could suddenly be described as choking. A watery burble could be heard in the engine as well as a sluggish popping, like thick mud bubbles bursting. Suddenly, some kind of acidic goo began to seep from around the key, dripping in slow, thick drops onto the floor. Regis pulled back away from it, not daring to try turning the key again.

He stared at it in abject horror. He was stuck in some kind of twilight zone, he was surrounded by monsters, and his car was squishing out some poisonous smelling goop. One thing was for certain, staying here was not an option. After a moment's thought, Regis dug into his only suit case, pulling out a pair of latex gloves he used for his work. The terrified man struggled them on and reached out, slowly, experimentally, grabbing the key. The black ooze was thick and slimy and Regis was having a difficult time trying to grip the key enough to turn it. Just when he thought he was getting it to turn, the smell of burning latex met his nostrils and he flung the gloves off as the traces of the black sludge on them continued to eat away the glove.

A knot of fear was beginning to form in his gut, feeling like a wet lump of the same thick substance that kept him from leaving this nightmare of a town. 'Maybe it will stop,' He thought desperately, 'until then, I just need to keep my head low, and don't let them know I'm in here…'

Regis must have crouched on the floor of his car for well over six hours, hidden between the front and the back seats, beneath a raincoat he had pulled over himself despite the stifling heat. The Botanist, unprepared for being barricaded in his car in an inescapable town, felt like he just might be dying. The heat was unbearable, and his throat felt like sandpaper from lack of water, no, sandpaper was too generous. It felt like every cavity in his body was filled with the burning, ever present sand that blew outside in the hot, dry wind. The man risked a small movement, dark spots blooming before his eyes. A soft moan escaped him as he blinked he blotches away, craning his neck to look at the key. It was still stuck in the ignition, still dripping black sludge. The sludge had formed a pool under the steering wheel that was slowly spreading under the seat. He'd have to move soon or it would start burning holes through the rubber soles of his shoes.

Regis had just started to shift, slowly, carefully up on to the back seat when a light tap on the window startled him nearly into a panic attack. Logic told him to stay still, but instinct forced him to wheel around and face the threat.

It was the one from the building, the one who had been close enough to him that he could have ripped out his throat with those horrible teeth of his. Regis could do nothing but stare. After all, he was trapped in an immovable car, weak from heat and thirst, with a raincoat still tangled around him. If this monster wanted to kill him, he wouldn't be facing much of a challenge. Rather than smash the glass, or rip off the car door, he smiled at Regis with that nightmarish mouth, gesturing for him to unlock the door and holding out what looked like a takeout box from a Denny's. Regis sat up slowly, pulling away from him as far as the interior of the car would let him. Despite his resolve to have no communication with the creature, he shook his head, gripping the arm rest of the seat in a white knuckled grip. The thing blinked its black eyes at him, looking confused, before apparently being struck by an idea. Tucking the take out box under one arm, he pulled out a note pad, scribbling a note down on it and holding it up to the window. Regis squinted, moving forward a little to see.

'Hi, my name is Kevin.

I brought you food.'

As though to emphasize his point 'Kevin' lifted the take out box and pointed to it with a smile that apparently he believed looked friendly, or encouraging. He tucked the note against the car's window and again scribbled on the note pad.

'You've been in your car for a long time, you must be pretty hungry.'

This note joined the first and before he had hardly finished writing it, another was in progress. Note after note was stuck to the window until it almost completely obscured the thing from sight. None of the note seemed the least bit threatening, in fact, they were all very friendly.

'Welcome to Desert Bluffs!'

'What's your name?'

'Are you sure you're not hungry?'

'I order a hamburger for you, I'm sorry if you don't eat meat'

'I can order something else for you if you want.'

'Do you want something else?'

'Do you like hamburgers?'

Before long the window was totally covered, yet Kevin continued to write, and stick notes onto the surface even though Regis could no longer see them. Regis was still frightened, but at the thought of food, he was feeling at least a little bit reckless. The man reached forward, and rapped lightly on the note covered window. Apparently the thing on the other side had gotten the picture and began removing the notes, cleaning off the window until he held all of them in a thick, messy stack in his hands.

Regis shuffled forward a bit, shedding the rain coat and slowly, warily unlocked the door. He cracked it a tiny bit, watching the black eyed creature for any sudden movements.

"Hello!" It (He?) said cheerfully, "My name's Kevin," He repeated, "I brought you food."

"T-Thank you…" Regis ventured hesitantly, still just barely peeking out from behind the door. Kevin extended the Styrofoam take out box and Regis stuck out his hand. Still watching cautiously, he took the take out box and drew it back into the stifling hot car with him.

"Welcome to Desert Bluffs," Kevin continued, "What's your name?"

"Regis," He replied slowly, popping open the top of the take out box, "Regis Santiago." Kevin hummed and nodded, still smiling, (Was it a smile?)

"I ordered a Hamburger for you, I'm sorry if you don't eat meat, I can always order something else for you if you want." Regis hesitated, realizing that he was just repeating everything that his notes said.

"No, He responded slowly, a hamburger is…fine…" He looked down, studying the meal he had been brought. It looked normal, just a regular thick hamburger with tomatoes, lettuce and pickles. Beside it was a pile of crispy beer-battered fries that looked absolutely heavenly. "If you don't mind me asking," He ventured slowly, opening the car door a little bit more. "What are you?" Kevin didn't seem at all offended by the question.

"Why, I'm the local radio host!" He responded enthusiastically, clearly missing the more obvious implications of the question.

"No," Regis, said hesitantly, pulling back from him a little bit, "Your teeth they…I-I mean...You're eyes…They're…they're black…" He stammered

"Oh?" Kevin asked, sounding mildly surprised. "Are they? I hadn't noticed. You're eyes are lovely!" He said, changing tack abruptly. Regis nearly choked on the French fry he had tentatively tasted. Kevin opened the car door the rest of the way, siding casually down into the seat next to him.

"No!" Regis barked, scrambling back and holding out a hand in front of him. Kevin looked startled by the sudden rejection and stood up, nearly hitting his head off of the car roof and he backtracked out of the car. Regis found himself breathing heavily, his hand still stretched in front of him to keep the black eyed man at bay. But he didn't try and get close to him again. Regis took a deep breath, swallowing hard. At least whatever this 'Kevin' guy was, he clearly understood the meaning of 'no.'

Kevin stood there quietly for a moment, looking a little uncomfortable at having been so quickly turned down. He cleared his throat awkwardly, shuffling his feet on the dry, dust street.

"Uhmm…." He faltered hesitantly. "It's…awfully hot in there…You wouldn't want to, maybe, come into the studio with me?" Kevin offered, and instantly saw suspicious fill Regis's face. "It's air conditioned," He ventured, "We've got a cooler with cold water…"

Regis bit his lip. Besides Kevin's frightening appearance he had giving him no indication that he intended to hurt him. He wasn't sure, but Kevin's mention of his eyes might even have been a subtle pass at him. Considering that Regis wasn't even sure if Kevin was human, that felt really creepy on a bunch of different levels. The blacke eyed man with his mouthful of sharp teeth stepped back a bit, allowing Regis room to step out.

"My car…" Regis said uncertainly, testing the subject. "It won't start for me, and I can't go home until I can get it fixed…Is there a good mechanic in town?" Kevin was quick to nod his head, flashing a pointy smile at him.

"Of course, although from the looks of the mortuary ooze coming out of your ignition it will take a week to fix at least."
"A week?" Regis asked in a kind of raspy, petrified whisper. Again, Kevin nodded cheerfully.

"That's right. I guess that means you'll be staying with us! Right here in our beautiful little town! Imagine that!" The black eyed man laughed, looking over at him. "If you need a place to stay though, Grandma Josephine is renting out some very pretty rooms. They all have a full bathroom and a lovely view of the orange groves." Regis stopped in his tracks, glancing up at Kevin hesitantly.
"I'm sorry, did you say Orange Groves?"