"Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them."
― Dick Francis

There was something awfully weird about the life of Tsunayoshi Sawada, and it wasn't the constant bullying, nor the octopus-headed bomber that was constantly worshipping and praising him. It wasn't the annoying Chihuahua that seemed to like to chase him halfway up the block before deeming him boring for the day, it wasn't the fact that he'd clam up and stammer like a fool whenever a certain honey-haired girl would look his way, nor the embarrassing notion that his average was that of a 17.8 in nearly all subjects. No, it was the tiny fact that he was being stalked by what appeared to be a baby.

And if that wasn't enough to make him think he should check himself into the nearest mental hospital, apparently the baby had a gun. Or, at least it looked like a gun from Tsuna's standpoint, the...child hadn't really gotten close enough for him to really make out anything other than size and large red sunglasses that hid eyes that were probably staring straight into his soul. And he apparently was the only one that could see it.

Picking up his pace back to his small apartment, Tsuna was rather glad that Gokudera had decided to skip, he wasn't sure he could handle anymore declarations of utmost and undying loyalty towards himself that week. And the fact that his older brother Giotto had been away for almost two weeks now and hadn't been able to help tutor him didn't really help his problem towards school work and grades.

Rubbing his eyes, Tsuna noted that his luck was pretty good today, considering how it usually took steep nosedives whenever something good happened to him. But no, things had been pretty average. Or at least they had, until he realized that he was being followed.

If he glanced quickly enough to the wall next to him, than he'd be able to catch a glimpse and flash of blue, red, or silver before it disappeared the next moment. So the brunette tried to keep his gaze forward at all times, as to not work himself into a fearful frenzy and make the neighbors think he was a bigger idiot than originally advertised. That and it wouldn't do his popular older brother's reputation any good if people thought his younger brother was a total nut. It was bad enough that people called him an idiot to Giotto's face, though the blonde man always disagreed thoroughly, willing to stand up for his no-good younger sibling's barely-there honor.

As soon as the familiar green of his front door came into view, Tsuna could've cried in relief. Now he'd be safe from whoever was creeping after him, and if that didn't stop them, then maybe he'd get to enjoy one last home cooked meal from his mother before he died. The thought did little to nothing to perk Tsuna's spirits, and he realized that by the time he reached the door, he could practically hear whatever it was that was following him and their small but steady and expert footfalls only meters from his head. Withholding a signature scream of fear and surrender, the brunette tripped over himself in an attempt to wrest open the slab of oak that served as a gateway between him and a safe haven.

"I'm home!" He cried out louder than originally intended, though it really made no big difference to him. The most important fact was that there was now a barrier between him and the predator outside. Locking the door for extra measure, the thirteen-year old was quick to note the lack of a greeting from his mother, a real oddity in the world of normality.

Tsuna instantly lost all color in his face. What if the mystery stalker had gotten to her? It seemed very unlikely, but Tsuna's overreacting imagination was now in overdrive. 'No! I would've heard a struggle! Or maybe the creeper had allies?' "Hiiiiiii..." He cried softly, trembling starting up in his hands and traversing up throughout his body. Tsuna really, really hoped that they hadn't gotten to his mother. It was times like this he wished his father wasn't out "working at construction and mining sights around the world" as he so unbelievably put it, and at home, although even weirder things happened because of the suspicious man's presence.

It wasn't until Tsuna found a note addressed to him from his mother did he finally calm down.

Tsu-kun

I've gone out to the marketplace, they're having a last minute sale! So dinner is in the fridge, it's tuna leftover from last night's meal. You don't have to finish it all; your brother might have some when he gets home. That's right! I forgot to tell you earlier, Giotto's coming home from Italy. He'll be here tonight and I've already cleaned his room, but I want you to take the cardboard box sitting outside the upstairs closet and take it in there for me.

Be home in a bit

-Nana

The thoughts of his older brother coming home after half a year knocked away anymore worries about the possible serial killer, and Tsuna found himself worrying about that instead of the stalker, the very figure perched outside the window behind his head just above the small sink and stove.

Nearly tripping halfway up the stairs twice, Tsuna paused on the last step to find the aforementioned box sitting just outside a slightly jarred sliding closet door. He released a breath of relief that he wouldn't have to involve the manual labor in lugging it around the house or even worse, up the stairs.

Mentally thanking his mother and her knowledge on his clumsiness, Tsuna padded over to the medium sized container. Sliding his hands under the rough surface, the brunette checked to make sure it wasn't upside down (there'd been more than one occurrence
with an upside down box) before lifting it-and promptly nearly sending himself back down the flight of stairs.

Catching himself at the last second, Tsuna went on to half-carry half-drag the obstructing object into his elder brother's room.

The dark space went completely untouched since Giotto was last there, and luckily he possessed the good grace to clean it before his departure, a fact that Tsuna was grateful for as he heaved the box onto his brother's queen-sized bed. The room was rather plain and ordinary, something that Tsuna knew his brother was anything but. He did suppose that since his brother spent so much time away as an intern, that he would be unable to fully decorate and make full use of the room.

Eyeing the cardboard container, it was only human for Tsuna to wonder just what was so valuable that it was kept separate from the rest of Giotto's belongings. Resisting the urge to commit the action that killed the cat and open the sealed box, Tsuna quickly exited the room that belonged to Giotto and settled for entering his own. Perhaps he'd try to solve the hell-sent rocket science that was algebra while he waited for his mother and brother.

But upon looking at the huge packet that was due the following day, Tsunayoshi instantly knew that there was no way he was scoring anything above a high F, a low D if he was lucky. But Tsuna was never lucky, so he was able to count on scoring at least a 45.6.

The brunette rubbed his eyes hard as he flopped down on his bed. He wasn't crying-although hard, algebra wasn't enough to make him sob like a baby (that was reserved for English lessons)-but he was solely anticipating the return of his only sibling. Though he liked the silence, Tsuna realized that maybe Nana could use more company than just her no-good and failing son all of the time.

In the end, Tsuna decided to save the packet to ask Giotto on if the blond man wasn't too busy upon returning home after so long, and turned towards his messy desk that was strewn with failed test, failed assignments, failed essays, and even F's from the previous year-and promptly screamed.

"Hiiiiiii!"

In a flash Tsuna had pressed himself against the far wall next to his door, chocolate brown eyes wide with shock, fear, and slight wonder at the sight of what appeared to be a baby standing on the wooden desk.

A spiky mass of blue hair was the most noticeable feature on the chibi, maybe second only to the pair of bright red sunglasses that looked as if they belonged to the futuristic assassin robot that Tsuna had seen off of a movie one time. The child looked mostly male, but gender wasn't the foremost thing on the brunette's mind. No, escaping alive and running away took the gold medal.

"Stop your wailing." The baby-child-thing snapped, arm snapping out to reveal a large shotgun. Tsuna was extremely glad that he'd decided to relieve himself before taking the box up, or his bed would be a displeasing and smelly mess of urine. "You are Sawada Tsunayoshi, correct?"

'Lie, lie.' His instinct for survival and his brain screamed at him mentally. But something told him that to do so would not be the wisest choice he had ever made. So all's that Tsuna could possibly do at that point in time was give the barest nod as an affirmative. Perhaps it was a choice that spared his life, if only for a short while. "Y-yes..."

"Good." The chibi nodded, and Tsuna imagined a satisfied look blinking into the eyes the weird red shades hid. "I am Lal Mirch, your guardian until further notice. I have been watching you for a while now, brother of the Primo." She said coolly, voice betraying no emotion other than the customary explanation.

If the brunette was stunned before, than he was completely lost at the last statement. "W-watching me?" He squealed, looking bewildered. "So that was you following me home!" Came the gasp as the puzzle pieces were fitted together, albeit a bit late.

A twinge of amusement laced the child's tone. "Yes, Tsunayoshi. That was me. By the way you took off down the street, I assume that you finally discovered my presence." She than added insult to injury "Any normal person with average intelligence would've noticed ages ago. You're rather slow, are you not?"

Cue ashamed nod.

"No matter, there'll be time to build on that later." Lal Mirch said, tucking her gun onto the strap on her back so the large weapon was away, but still available for immediate drawing. "Now we must await your brother's arrival."

"W-wait," Tsuna held up a hand, sitting up from his position crab-crochet against the wall. "You said something about a Primo's brother? What is that? And why do we have to wait for G-Giotto?" Now he was suspicious. This couldn't be one of his brother's weird friends, could it? Tsuna really wished that the older male would meet some normal people instead of the wackos that belonged in circuses. He was sill cringing at the memory of the glares the red-haired man with the weird tattoo on his face that Giotto had brought home with him on his last visit had given him.

Lal Mirch shook her head. "Not "a" Primo, the Primo." She corrected with a scoff. "He really hasn't told you anything, has he?" Had the chibi not been wearing her sunglasses, than Tsuna would've seen a blue eyebrow rise.

"Tell me what?" Tsuna's voice rose as his frustration grew. "And what is a-the Primo? He's not in danger, is he?" The brunette knotted his fingers in his unruly brown locks, distress taking over.

Lal Mirch could've rolled her eyes at the sight of the boy who was so closed to hyperventilating, but she supposed that the happenings weren't all his fault. Had Iemitsu and Giotto really kept all this from him? She could understand Nana, but Tsunayoshi too? But she knew that it was time to let the cat out of the bag, so with little regards to the thirteen-year old's state of sanity, she answered. "Giotto, your older brother, is the Primo of the Vongola mafia family."

Tsunayoshi burst a muscle in his head.

Would the Sky ever come to terms?

-Maybe. Though Lal Mirch was never one to sugarcoat

*Rubs neck* It's a little rushed, I realize. But I wanted to get it done and post it, since it's Hibari's birthday. Although this really has nothing to do with him until later chapters...But yes, this is slightly AU, as you can tell. Pairings are undecided, so suggestions would be nice. It can be Yaoi, if you guys want.

So...what category of weird do you fall under?