Author's Note:
Ambrose: Hello, and welcome to our very first Twilight story - and a one-shot at that - "If I Sang Out of Tune". Now, we're profoundly Team Jacob, and we would very much appreciate it if all Team Edward supporters or otherwise kept any differences of opinion to themselves. Not that you can't say that the story sucked, of course - just don't say it's because we prefer Jake over Edward. OK? Also, this IS a song-fic, or as close to one as we can get without shuddering - it's set during New Moon, and, at a very rough guess, between pages 200 and 201 - before Jacob becomes a shape-shifter, in other words. VERY AU - as in deep, deep romantic Jake-what-are-you-doing-to-Bella AU. So, warnings to you - first time we've written Bella and Jacob, so give us a bit of margin for error? Thanks.
The Professor: Now that we've got that over with - to the disclaimer! Twilight and all people, places, concepts, species', etc that are affiliated with the Twilight universe are the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer, and of course all those guys who do the movies probably own a bit too (aside from the real place, of course - can you own a city?). "With A Little Help From My Friends" is the property of the Beatles, and is from the 1967 album, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Any and all other references to outside TV shows, movies, cartoons, books, etc, are not in any way inclined toward encroaching copyright OR making a profit. Phew, now that's done -
Ambrose: Read, enjoy, and review! We want to know what you think - does it suck? Does it rock? Is it worth reading? You know - important stuff. But hey, if you want to vent after a bad day, we're cool with that. And - cue chapter!
(Start)
"This is so corny."
"Why're you telling me that? Tell it to lover-boy here."
"'Cause he won't listen - he's utterly convinced that he's going to woo the girl he loves with 1960's Brit rock."
"Quil." There was no arguing with Jacob's tone, and the youngest Black looked up from the crumpled LP sleeve to see that Quil and Embry had stopped talking - or at least, stopped their conversation from reaching him. He looked down again, and for a moment he was struck by what he was holding - an LP. An LP. God, how old was this thing? He hadn't even known his dad had a stash of LP's until he'd been digging around the house for money so that he could buy Bella something for Valentine's Day.
Bella. Jacob hugged the LP to his chest when the burning he always felt whenever he so much as thought of her floundered around inside his stomach. He was going to surprise her, that much was for sure - he was sure that Cullen (his name seared violently in his mind, and Jake let out an inaudible growl) hadn't ever done something like this for her - and he was safe in that knowledge at least.
The question is, he thought anxiously as he watched his friends try to get the ancient gramophone working, will it be a good surprise?
---------
"Great food, Bella - as ever."
Bella smiled at her father, tucking into her own piece of lasagne, and the pair spent the next few minutes just eating and talking about their days. She was grateful - it was refreshing to talk to someone who didn't want to go out with her or talk about her behind her back, and it was good of Charlie to fill the silence with his tales of his day at the station. Even if they did amount to a speeding ticket and two instances of indecent exposure. He had a good theory about it all, summed up in two words.
"Valentine's Day." Charlie shook his head and speared a small part of the lasagne. "Madness. Absolute madness. Can you believe how much effort people put into this stupid holiday?" Bella shared Charlie's viewpoint regarding Valentine's Day - though her experience with the day was, admittedly, skewed by her romantic spirit having been ripped out of her - and shook her head. "I mean, what's the point of going 110 if all you've got is some half-dead roses and 50 cent sweets, eh? And it's certainly no excuse to start, well, activities - " Bella felt obliged to save her father from the dead-end the conversation would've ended up at, and cut in.
"I know - Phil doesn't like it either." Her father's face darkened slightly, and she had to veer wildly off-course to prevent another - she couldn't find a better word than sulk - over his ex-wife's new partner. She coughed, and tried to start again. "So, um, how's Billy?" Billy Black was always a safe topic for her father - now that the Cullen's (her heart wrenched against her ribcage as the name seemed to pull at her) had left, they didn't have anything to argue about. Hence both Charlie and Billy's freezers being stuffed with fish.
Charlie snapped his fingers, and his eyes seemed to gain a certain gleam. Bella blinked, before her mind put the pieces together - one, Charlie only ever snapped his fingers when he was reminded of something important. Two, Charlie only got that gleam when Jacob was mentioned. And three, it was Valentine's Day.
She knew what her father was going to say before he said it. "Good, actually - and he wanted me to tell you something." If she didn't know better, she'd swear he was wearing a (dare she say it?) devilish grin. "Jacob wants you to come round. In - " with a flourish, Charlie produced his watch and checked it " - thirty minutes." He leaned back in his chair, looking very pleased with himself, while Bella found herself only confused.
"Jacob wants me to come round." Normal.
"Yes."
"And he couldn't tell me himself." Not normal.
"Yes."
"And it just so happens to be Valentine's Day." Way not normal.
"Yes."
"The most romantic day on Earth." Scared and just a little bit angry now.
"I suppose."
"And it's all a big coincidence." Oh, hell no - there is no way I'm ready for this.
"Yes."
"And you're not trying to set me up." I need Jacob - I can't do this to him yet. I don't want to do it at all!
"Nope."
Bella was practically hyper-ventilating by this point, while Charlie, oblivious to his daughters distress, tried to make things easier for Jacob. "You know Bella, it really wouldn't be so bad - you know." But it would be, it WILL be - Jacob's my crutch, I need him as he is, I can't tread the line, I can't DO that to him, it just isn't fair! "I mean, this is Jake we're talking about here - not - " Charlie stopped there, and though Bella was wishing Charlie would stop being so concerned over her romantic status, she thanked him for not reminding her.
It would only make her feel sorrier for Jake when she had to let him down - because she was willing to bet that he was in as deep as she had been with - him.
It would only make her hate herself more.
---------
"She's on her way now, Billy. Should be there in about twenty minutes."
"Thanks, Charlie. Means a lot to Jake - to me, too. Maybe I won't cheer so loud when your Redskins get trounced."
"Keep dreaming."
Billy said his good-byes, put the phone down, before turning around to see his sixteen year old son sitting on the stairs, leaning forward like he would as a child in order to hear some playground secret. Billy rolled his eyes, then grinned and gave him the OK. Jacob grinned at him, before he sprung forward with probably unhealthy speed to hug his father - he raced out down to First Beach after a moment, and Billy couldn't help but sigh. He knew it was a cliché, but - they grew up, so fast . . .
---------
"Good luck, man."
"Yeah, Jake - hope it goes well."
Jacob shrugged, trying to look calm and confident, though his insides were writhing about like they wanted out. He couldn't blame them. He'd run through the plan half a million times, and he was sure she'd take him, she had to - but there was still a great big ball of anxiety curled up inside his chest. What if. What if - she doesn't like you like that? What if - she's still hung up over Mr. Wolf-In-Sheep's-Clothing? What if - she falls over, or he messes it up, or - or the tide comes in, or -
Or she could say yes.
It would be worth it. If she said no, then it was worth a try, and he could still be her friend - her completely hung-up, gangly, idiotic friend. And if she said yes -
Please, God, let her say yes.
Jake waved off his friends as he heard the thunderous rumble of his dad's old truck getting closer and closer, and he was barely aware of the two running off down the beach - it was just him, and the gramophone, and soon, soon -
Bella. The girl he loved.
---------
"Hey, Billy. Jake around?"
She hadn't even knocked on the front door before the hinges had swung open, revealing a grinning Billy, and she worked to stop the grimace that would creep up on her face - God, would she ever be able to show her face around here again? Jacob was going to hate her, he was going to be crushed, and she'd be lucky if the next time Quil and Embry saw her they didn't - she didn't know, glare at her? And Charlie! Oh, can't I just trip to my death? Save them all of the anger?
But not even Bella was that clumsy, and for the first time in what felt like her life she was aware of every step she was taking - Billy pointed out to the direction of First Beach, and her insides did yet another guilty tumble inside her body. Talk about full-circle - that was where it'd all begun, and that was where most of it was going to end. She nodded, and gulped, and she was off.
Off to break a heart.
---------
So, push that switch, flip the arm down, and go from there. I can do that. I can do this.
He could barely see anything in the weak light of the evening sun - twilight, he reflected distractedly - and it took another minute of smoothing down imaginary creases and checking perfectly fine LP's until he could see her. He couldn't see her, of course, but he could see her. Already, the ball of anxiety was unwinding a bit - not by much - but a bit, and he seemed to feel more and more confident as she got closer.
She really was beautiful, he thought as the few beams of sunlight scattered over her perfectly pale face. Flowing brown hair, chocolate eyes, small as ever. Jake grinned. My chocolate-eyed angel. She's perfect. Full lips, irresistibly kissable - pale, delicious neck, thin nose, and a face like a heart. How'm I supposed to resist?
"Bells!" He raised a hand, and she unfurled one of her arms to return the wave. His grin brightened.
"You made it."
---------
There he was - a human skyscraper, a mountain of boy, and the same as ever. Bright grin the same as ever - he seemed to light up the coast with that grin of his, and her heart followed suit. Even with the unenviable task ahead of her, Bella tried to grin back. She didn't know if he saw it or not, but she hadn't any time to consider if he had - he'd definitely seen her now.
"Bells!" Why did it have to hurt? Why couldn't she just lose all feeling, just for the next five minutes, and tell him? Why would she have to hurt? Guilt burnt through her at that thought, but she knew it was true - she'd do anything not to feel the guilt, and the loss she knew she'd feel . . . He raised an arm, seeming to touch the sky, and she unwrapped the arm that was keeping her in a protective embrace to reply.
"You made it." She was in front of him now, and she got a proper look at him. Her heart twinged in expectation of pain to come - he looked the same as ever. Russet skin which gleamed in the twilight, black glossy hair that fell all around his still-childish face - and that smile! How could he not know how much harder he was making it? How much harder it would be to destroy that last shred of innocence he still retained, even into his sixteenth year?
She shook her head, and realised he couldn't know - he was Jacob. "Yeah - so, uhm, how-how are you?" Her voice was tremulous, a more perfect reflection of her than the water to her left, but he didn't seem to notice. "I'm good, good - you?" She didn't trust herself to speak - she just nodded, hoping he'd get whatever plan he'd constructed underway so -
So that she could destroy him.
"That's good, 's good - great, even. So! I'll bet you my Rabbit you don't know what dad sent you down here for - and I nearly have a Rabbit to bet." His grin was the only constant in the whole world right about now - even his voice was trembling slightly, and Bella had a sickening feeling that he knew, or at least suspected. She didn't give him anything to work on, though - her voice as strong as she herself felt, she replied, "No, I don't. And, good. About the Rabbit."
Jake's grin shrinked just the tiniest bit, but this was Bella's grin - she owned it, she knew - and she could tell. He coughed, then soldiered on. "Well, um - it's Valentine's Day." His voice was probably supposed to be full of meaning, but it came out just as a statement - she smiled a little. "Is it?! I hadn't noticed." The weak attempt at humour seemed to clue Jacob in just that little bit more, because his grin got even smaller, and he looked at her, with burning eyes. She gulped.
"Yeah." His voice had gained a slightly husky quality, and Bella felt them both stray farther into unfamiliar water. "And, I - um, wanted to celebrate. With you." She nodded, thoughts frozen as they reached breaking point. "Because - wow!" He laughed, a bit of anxiety seeping into the usually wonderful sound to twist it into something that seemed to pierce her heart. He tried to continue. "Because. Because, because, because I - Love. You." He faltered on the last two words, and who could blame him - apart from Bella. She nodded again, painfully - her heart was in her throat.
"And, I was - uh, wondering. If you, er, felt. The - same way?" He sounded almost like a child now, and he looked it too - that childish face hemmed in by fear. Fear of rejection, fear of embarrassment, fear of fear. That did it for her. She turned.
"No, wait - " She put her foot forward, and his arm shot out, taking her wrist. She stopped. " - please?" She turned again, and she could see his brown eyes glistening, and this was so wrong. "And, and I know you - may not, feel the same way. But - if you could - just - " He stopped for a second, looking deep into her, and he knew what he wanted to see. " - forget. For four minutes. About - everything." She looked into him, and she knew what she would see. Jacob. J. A. C. O. B. Except that didn't do him justice. He was the sun, he was the moon, he was the stars for her. For now. Slowly, she nodded - he was worth four minutes.
He let out a sigh, of relief or sadness she didn't know, and took her hand - he pulled her close, wrapped his arms around her, and she couldn't help wrapping her arms around him. Some of the grin was still there, and she hung on. He knelt down, to something she hadn't noticed before - a gramophone, of all things - and there was a click, and the sound of a needle on plastic.
"Dance with me?" Dance? He hadn't mentioned dancing. Never had he mentioned dancing. Ever. But she looked at him again. He didn't mean Dance with me, Bella. He meant Hold on to me, Bella, go with it. With me. She let out the smallest of sighs. He was worth going with it.
There was the sound of a guitar, and of admiration, infatuation - and then there was the sound of music.
"What would you think if I sang out of tune?" To the left, him and her.
"Would you stand up and walk out on me?" Back, both of them.
And then they were dancing.
"Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,
And I'll try not to sing out of key."
Right, right, right.
"Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,
I get high with a little help from my friends,
Oh I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends."
Back, forward, right.
"What do I do when my love is away?
(Does it worry you to be alone)
How do I feel by the end of the day?"
Left, right, right - no, this was right.
"Are you sad because you're on your own?
No, I get by with a little help from my friends,"
Slow, slow, slow - round and round.
"Mmm, I get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, I'm gonna to try with a little help from my friends."
This wasn't Bella and Jacob anymore - they weren't just friends anymore.
And not-Jacob was whispering the words into her ear.
"Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love."
This was Bells and Jake.
"Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love."
No more Edward. Nothing beyond the natural.
"Would you believe in love at first sight?
Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time."
This was natural. This was happening.
"What do you see when you turn out the light?
I can't tell you, but I know it's mine."
Oh, God, it was happening.
"Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, I get high with a little help from my friends,
Oh, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends."
She certainly wasn't complaining.
"Do you need anybody?
I just need someone to love."
He wasn't. He needed her. He said so.
"Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love."
She moved her hands up, her fingers curled up in his hair.
"Oh...
I get by with a little help from my friends,
I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends."
She rested her head on his shoulder. Warm, soft. Everything he wasn't.
"I get high with a little help from my friends.
Yes, I get by with a little help from my friends,
with a little help from my friends . . ."
"I want somebody to love."
"I think she's here. Because Edward isn't."
She could say his name. But she wouldn't.
"Jake?"
"Bells."
He looked at her. She looked at him.
"I don't think I love you."
His face was calm, unmoving. So was hers.
"Edward's gone. He's not coming back. I know that. You're here. I need you. I know that. You love me. You heal me. You make me laugh. You. You, you, you. So - no. I don't think I love you."
"I know I love you."
(End)
Ambrose: Soppy to the end, we know. Me and the Prof, we're just old-fashioned romantics - and if Bells doesn't get Jake the one way, we'll go the other. Guh - bit of a lump in my throat. Seriously. So, what did you think? Love it, hate it? We've been accused of being sappy many a time, so - yeah . . . OK, see you guys. Leave a review, eh?