Arthur in Wonderland
Author's note: Whoo, been awhile since I've written anything. You should all consider yourselves lucky I didn't try for a Ramna ½ spoof. Stay tuned…
Ford Prefect had forgotten how to be fancy.
All his life, it had been 2nd-class this, and second-rate that, and "no, you can't have that nice table by the window because you're not sober enough to get there." So how, in the name of room service, was he supposed to make a formal speech at a la-de-da place such as the Restaurant at the Beginning of the Universe?
"Not dressed like that, I can say that much." Arthur Dent nearly swelled with pride at his sudden ability to say something cunning. He then realized no one had asked him anything with which to reply cunningly.
"Of course, you could never be cunning without the help of a Trelltuther 2000."
Arthur tried swimming through this new attack of confusion, but he couldn't quite make it to the deep end. He then realized that this series of replies without statements had something to do with mindreading. This realization was helped along by Arthur's prior realization that he could hear Ford wondering if he should get a new toothbrush.
"So, er, what—"
"Oh, the Trelltuther 2000 is just something some psychic dislexic genius invented recently. Quite popular. I like it because it allows me to prove people wrong in advance."
"And uh, where—"
"The Restaurant at the Beginning of the Universe. Yes, this is different from the one at the end of the universe. No, Zaphod hasn't been banned from this one. Maybe, if you're good."
Arthur grinned. His last thought had involved dessert, which was about all he cared to care about at the moment.
"Well then! Time to go. Better take you, too. Last time I left you by yourself I had to search at least three mental wards to find you again."
Author's note: Whoo, been awhile since I've written anything. You should all consider yourselves lucky I didn't try for a Ramna ½ spoof. Stay tuned…
Ford Prefect had forgotten how to be fancy.
All his life, it had been 2nd-class this, and second-rate that, and "no, you can't have that nice table by the window because you're not sober enough to get there." So how, in the name of room service, was he supposed to make a formal speech at a la-de-da place such as the Restaurant at the Beginning of the Universe?
"Not dressed like that, I can say that much." Arthur Dent nearly swelled with pride at his sudden ability to say something cunning. He then realized no one had asked him anything with which to reply cunningly.
"Of course, you could never be cunning without the help of a Trelltuther 2000."
Arthur tried swimming through this new attack of confusion, but he couldn't quite make it to the deep end. He then realized that this series of replies without statements had something to do with mindreading. This realization was helped along by Arthur's prior realization that he could hear Ford wondering if he should get a new toothbrush.
"So, er, what—"
"Oh, the Trelltuther 2000 is just something some psychic dislexic genius invented recently. Quite popular. I like it because it allows me to prove people wrong in advance."
"And uh, where—"
"The Restaurant at the Beginning of the Universe. Yes, this is different from the one at the end of the universe. No, Zaphod hasn't been banned from this one. Maybe, if you're good."
Arthur grinned. His last thought had involved dessert, which was about all he cared to care about at the moment.
"Well then! Time to go. Better take you, too. Last time I left you by yourself I had to search at least three mental wards to find you again."