Love You Past Your Pain

by TCNAC1097

Anastasia survives a vicious attack thanks to the help of a stranger - can love born in tragedy stand the test of time and the pain of the past? - **This story contains an attempted sexual assault**Characters based on E.L. James 50 Shades Trilogy

1. Chapter 1

I Can Love You Past Your Pain

3:24 PM 2/6/2016

Chapter 1 - At First Sight

CPOV

My philanthropic work has once again brought me to the university this afternoon and evening. Of course I don't mind being in a position to finance research for innovative farming technologies and other avenues for the sustenance of life and community here and abroad, but these meetings are occurring during a stressful time in my business and while my second in command Ros has complete autonomy in matters concerning Grey Enterprise Holdings, the control freak in me wishes I could have my finger on the pulse at all times, even if the pragmatist in me knows it's not possible.

Perhaps I am just mildly frustrated, it has actually been over four months since I ended my contract with Leila, she was becoming too attached, and if I'm being honest with myself the whole lifestyle has become a bit stale, though I haven't a clue as to an alternative-I snicker at the thought of an alternative to what is alternative. At this point there's not an enthusiastic interest in another sub it has always just been a means to end for me; satisfying my basic lust for control and need for sexual release, uncomplicated, unlike me. The alternative, unfortunately would likely involve dating and compromise which for me translates into more work. I wouldn't even have a clue how to go about it...dating I mean; and if these vapid post-adolescents that have been batting their eyes at me and pressing their numbers into my hand during every visit to the university are any indication of the dating pool, sheeze I'll be taking matters into my own hands for quite some time to come.

Hard to believe these meetings ran so long-the cost of progress I muse to myself as Taylor drives me through campus, I stare out the window and wonder to myself whether I would have been as successful had I decided to stay at Harvard for the full four years; a number of my game changing acquisitions were all about timing. I am very happy where I am of course, hell I'm a billionaire, but I'm no quitter so in that respect only...I've wondered. Something catches my eye and I yell for Taylor to stop. Before I have time to consider my actions I jump from my car and head toward a pretty dark and almost obscure area between two buildings with Taylor on my heels. As I approach the area I see two figures which I can't quite make out, but I am sure of one thing, someone is in trouble. As we approach one of the figures runs away and while I run towards the space which I can now tell is a grassy path between two buildings, the sight I see almost stops my heart.

I see bright blue eyes staring up at me, she is breathtaking! For a split second I'm transfixed by her and although I've never before reacted to another person in this way, I know I need to act quickly. I assess the situation, she appears to be in shock. She's spralled out on the grass and covered in blood, she is barely conscious and though she's breathing there is a gash in her neck from which she's bleeding profusely. I cover her wound with my bare hand and apply pressure to stop the bleeding. It looks as if someone attempted to cut her coat as well but I'm not able to tell if she has been cut elsewhere; what is obvious is her jeans are undone and someone was attempting to pull them off, she clearly fought off her attacker, I notice one of her fingers is broken and stuck in one of the belt loops of her jeans her hands are also bleeding as if they've been cut. I can see the marks in the grass where she was forcibly dragged, there are books spilling out of a backpack and an iPod strewn about. I can tell that despite having slowed down the bleeding that she is unable to respond to me, even though her eyes never leave mine, she says nothing, she blinks wildly and I begin to talk to her. "Blue Eyes, I'm here…that asshole won't ever hurt you again…you're safe, we're going to get you to a hospital." After what feels like an eternity I hear Taylor along with campus security heading our way, I scream for him to bring a blanket and whatever towels we may have in the SUV, it's incredibly cold out and I'm afraid she may go into shock. Taylor wraps the young woman in blanket and lifts her from the ground as I continue to apply pressure to her wound - we blast the heat in the SUV on the way to the hospital, I instruct Taylor to call my mother and have her meet us in the ER.

We arrive in the emergency room within minutes, and after getting her out of the truck and through the entrance where ER nurses and doctors immediately take over I watch helplessly as the young woman is wheeled away. Never before have I felt so helpless and haunted at once. Taylor comes into the waiting area holding a backpack flanked by campus security who gathered the items from the ground. Reaching out to take the back I realize my hands are covered in her blood, I just stare at them only now feeling the full horror of what has just transpired. I know my mother will be arriving shortly so I find a restroom to wash my hands and as I do, I cannot overcome the image of those beautiful blue eyes staring at me beseeching me, fear, sadness and confusion, she never uttered a sound but her eyes spoke to me and I told her over and over she was safe now.

When I'm done I return to the waiting area and find Taylor waiting who has informed me that my mother has arrived and will be back when she knows more. I explain to SPD with Taylor that what I saw was just a flash, but I sensed something was terribly wrong. Taylor was unable to catch the attacker and promptly pushed a campus call button. I don't have any further information I didn't get a good look at the perpetrator because I was focused on the young woman. "Who is she?" I ask finally after answering a bevvy of questions from officers. "Based on the description and the UW ID found in the backpack we believe her name is Anastasia Steele a grad student" a portly detective by the name of Wallace Best says. "It looks as if she was headed to her car which was parked nearby after finishing her work for the day. She is a TA to Professor Caldwell in the Liberal Arts department, she graduated just this past May." "Has anyone notified her family?" I ask "We used the address on her driver's license and sent an officer to her home for the notification."

"Welch!...and tell him to make it fast" I say to Taylor who understands exactly what I am requesting. I look up and Elliot is walking through the door, "what happened!" I tell him to calm down. "I called to talk to mom and Olga told me mom came to the ER to meet you, dude, what the fuck?" "Again, calm down, I interrupted an attack on a young woman on UW's campus this evening, she was badly hurt and I asked mom to meet me here. "I can't believe that you stopped a crime bro! You're like a super hero and shit!" I roll my eyes at Elliot and just then a very frantic blonde woman bursts through the doors and goes to the counter asking for information on Anastasia Steele, she is told that she's in surgery and someone would be out to speak with her.

"Excuse me Miss?" She turns to face me, her face bloated and her eyes red from crying, "yes?" My name is Christian Grey and this is my brother Elliot Grey are you related to Ms Steele?" "She's…she's my best friend and roommate, why do you ask?" "My driver and I found her, we have her things here, would you like to have a seat?" She sits down, "my...my name is Kate Kavanaugh", I notice Elliot is unable to take his eyes off of Kate and asks if she would like some coffee, she declines. I explain the events that I observed to the best of my ability in an attempt to explain happened to Anastasia. I also indicated that my mother was a physician here and would hopefully be out soon to give us an update on her condition. Kate explains that Ana is a grad student/TA and therefore has office hours which from time to time keep her working on campus after dark, she explains that she was waiting for her to come home as they had plans to go out for dinner this evening, she begins to sob at which point Elliot takes her into his arms and she begins to sob uncontrollably.

Over the next several minutes we learn that Ana has had very little contact with her mother since she left her with her stepfather almost fifteen years ago. Her biological father died when she was one years old from cancer and her stepdad passed away after a car accident during her freshman year, so with the exception of her friends she has no family to speak of.

Finally, my mother enters the waiting area, and addresses Kate once introductions are made. "Hi Kate, I'm Dr. Grey, Ms. Steele is in recovery at the moment and stable, she sustained a number of defensive cuts to her hands along with a broken left index finger, in addition to these injuries she suffered two stab wounds to her abdomen as well as having her throat slit. There was no internal bleeding, and no major arteries were affected. She is under heavy sedation at this time, she was in shock when she came in, but she should make a full recovery." "Oh my God! Thank you!" Kate reaches for my mother and sobs even more. "When do you think we can see her" I ask. "Well she will be out for some time. "I'm not leaving her" Kate declares "can I wait in her room?" "Because you are listed as next of kin, yes Kate you may."

"Excuse me Kate, what can we do?" She turns and stares at me blankly "Christian Grey?...the?..." "yes" "I'm so sorry, I didn't make the connection earlier, yes of course your work with the university..." "Honestly, not a problem, how can we help? I can make sure you and Anastasia have anything you need, have you eaten?" "Uh, no but I'm really really not hungry right now." I ask Kate if we can bring her anything at all, perhaps send someone to her place, make notifications anything and she says for now she's fine. I ask my mother if I may see Anastasia, she tells me that she can bring me back for just a moment with Kate but that I won't be able to stay very long.

Anastasia looks so peaceful, I tune out all of the loud machines and the medical staff bustling about, there's just her, and though I can't explain it I know in this moment that I will never ever let another bad thing happen to her and I WILL find the man who did this to her. Before I can restrain myself I lean over and kiss her cheek and whisper "Anastasia you don't have to be afraid, you're not alone, no one will ever hurt you again." I turn around to find my mother looking on in stunned silence. Well it's hard to blame her, after all she's never once seen me with a woman let alone witness a genuine Christian Grey PDA moment. Kate seems oblivious to what's going on and I like it that way, she is completely distraught. I offer her a seat because she honestly looks rather unsteady on her feet. I can't for the life of me understand what is going on with me, but the deal Ros and I were in the process of landing isn't even on my mind, there's just Anastasia.

While riding back to Escala Taylor informs me that Welch has completed a detailed background and it's available via e-mail - I will check that when I get to my home office Taylor's contact at UW is forwarding all relevant security tapes as well.

Walking into Escala, I tell Gail my house manager that I will have my dinner in my office tonight. I open my e-mail and find Ana's background check.

Anastasia Rose Steele DOB 09/10/1989

Mother: Carla Lucas (Frank Lambert m.06121988 –wid.09111990; Raymond Steele m.04201991 – div.11052000; Mark Tolbert m.01192001 – div.12012001; Oscar Cowlings m.07162003 - div09222006; Darrell Edmond m.02122009 - div06252009; John Lucas m.09242013 - present)

Father: Franklin Lambert (Deceased) 09111990

Step Father: Raymond Steele (Deceased) 07152013 Automobile Accident

Graduate Student at UW August 2015

Teaching Assistant Professor Tracey Caldwell August 2015 – Present

BA English Literature May 2015 (Summa Cum Laude) GPA 3.9

Claytons Hardware 2011-2015

I know precious little about Anastasia with this background check, it appears her mother has been married several times, go figure, relationship issues for a woman who doesn't bother to raise her own child. Seems Carla is a piece of work she chose poorly in the companion department and appears to be on marriage number seven and other than that very little is known about her other than she works as a part time bookkeeper. I wonder if it would be prudent to contact her on behalf of her daughter, I will have to ask her once she's awake.

The next morning I woke with a start, I checked my text messages there was nothing new except a text from my mother, Ana was moved per my insistence to a private room with a family suite both for her privacy and for Ms. Kavanaugh's comfort. Taylor procured trusted security services with a colleague Luke Sawyer. Anastasia will be under twenty four hour protection.

I had Gail pack croissants and preserves for me to take to the hospital, Ms. Kavanaugh should be very hungry by now, in addition I had Taylor purchase toiletries and warm clothing for Ana, that room she was in last night was very cold. I've never understood why hospitals seem so cold always, odd.

I arrived at the hospital around 9 AM. Kate was sleeping on the lounger in the suite provided when I entered the room. As well as Sawyer in the waiting area outside of the suite which provides a direct view of Anastasia's bed.

If it's even possible she is more beautiful than the woman who invaded my dreams last night, she's so serene. She has long chestnut brown hair that is thick and shiny. She has a tiny mole on her chin and barely noticeable freckles on both sides of her cute little nose. Her lashes are long and full and her lips are plump and pink. Her hands are covered in gauze but I can tell they are dainty with long slender fingers. I pull a chair as close as I can to her bedside and whisper in her ear "good morning Anastasia, I'm here."

APOV

It's only been a few months working as Professor Caldwell's TA, but I must say I love it, what's not to love, more books and most of the students are engaged and bright...most of them. Kate is already calling me a workaholic but I must admit I do lose track of time often becoming engrossed in my work, what can I say I love novels. I intended to read only a few student papers, but I was so intrigued by the creativity of some of these students I couldn't stop myself, now eight papers later I really need to get out of here if I want the chance to change my clothes before dinner with Kate. Luckily we live only about ten minutes from campus and I have Wanda parked nearby so no problem.

I've been listening to my iPod, not on shuffle, I appreciate hearing songs in the original order of the CD, it's quirky and weird but I love remembering listening to music with my Dad and playing what song comes next. I miss my dad so much, sometimes I dream he's just a phone call away. It's cold out but I'm bundled up good, I've never been on campus so late it's eerie and deserted so I'm walking at a nice clip. I can see my car in the distance when I feel a tugging at my collar. Before I could turn my head or remove one of my earbuds I feel myself being pulled to the ground and dragged between two buildings. I dug in my heels and kicked and screamed but he was strong. Once I was between the buildings I felt tugging at my coat and I felt like I was being hit in my stomach, I was blocking blows and I felt a pinch on my neck he never said anything other than "bitch let it happen" he began to pull at my jeans managing to get my button undone I hooked my fingers in belt loops and kicked with all my might and he began hitting my hands I must have fallen on a wet patch of grass because I could remember my neck feeling wet. He yanked my right hand from my belt loop but I heard a pop when he yanked my left hand, I screamed at the top of my lungs and immediately began feeling light headed, I was passing out. All of a sudden he lets go of my jeans and runs away, I hear footsteps running towards me, and I see gray eyes that tell me I am safe.

"My name is Christian, you're safe now—don't be afraid. Can you hear me? What's your name sweetheart? Who did this to you? You're bleeding pretty badly, I'm going to try and stop the bleeding and we're going to get you to the hospital. You're safe now, you're safe, you're going to be okay. Oh, my god…who hurt you sweetheart?...please tell me your name, please." I hear him yelling for someone to get a blanket and then I'm in a car, I want to talk to him.

~Who are you?~

"Ana I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, you're going to be okay, you're going to be just fine."

~Kate! I can hear you Kate~

"Her vitals are good, she's going to be pretty sore when she wakes please don't hesitate to call us if you need anything Kate. Don't worry, she's a fighter, she fought hard!"

"Good morning Anastasia, I'm here."

"Me too..." I whisper barely able to open my eyes to see the most gorgeous man I have ever seen in real life, this must be a dream or I've landed in what...male underwear model heaven? Oh wait, I remember you it's gray eyes! Before the memory of my attack overwhelms me he distracts me by introducing himself.

"Hi" he says lightly massaging my wrist, "my name is Christian"

My God he's beautiful, if my mouth wasn't so dry I'm sure I would be drooling. I remember what happened, all of it I think, but I don't feel afraid I feel warm and...and safe.

"Christian I'm so thirsty"

"I'm going to ring for a nurse"

The nurse comes in almost immediately,

"Nurse Ms. Steele would like some water"

"My name is Diane and I need to check your vitals and then I'll give you some ice chips for now is that okay Ms. Steele."

"Sure."

"Sir, would you please step out for moment"

"No!" I say barely above a whisper "please don't leave me!" I can feel tears begin to roll down my cheeks.

"I'm not going anywhere, please don't cry." Christian says, using his thumbs to wipe my tears.

Christian distracts me from the exam by telling me that Kate is here in the next room and she's been here all night. He brought me a warm purple robe and matching fuzzy pink socks with purple stripes. His mother is a doctor who practices at this hospital and he lives in downtown Seattle. He talks about his family which consists of a brother a sister and his parents who live in Bellevue. He tells me that his company is part of a "feed the world" initiative, he loves to read and wishes he had more time for it. Kate appears in the doorway just as nurse Diane is leaving to get my ice chips.

"Ana!...Oh my god I was so scared, how do you feel?" Kate looks as if she's been crying all night; we met my freshman year and hit it off almost immediately, she's as beautiful as she is kind and I honestly don't know what my life would be without her. She's always taken on sort of a motherly role in my life, Kate found it unfathomable that any woman wouldn't want to be a mother to her own child, when my father died she became uber protective...mama bear is scary! I'm surprised she let Christian the underwear model anywhere near me, she's staring daggers his way, but he hasn't taken his eyes off of me. It is funny Kate has been scaring off guys for four years that she felt weren't worthy, she seems to have a sixth sense. She was spot on with Jose. I really thought for years we were such good friends, but that all changed one night after undergrad finals when he tried to take advantage of my inebriated state. I wound up kneeing him in the balls, thus ending our friendship. He always gave Kate the creeps, but I would never have guessed he would have been so aggressive with me, calling me a dick tease and telling me I was a bitch for leading him on. He was completely delusional. I have seen him around campus a few times since I became a TA but he doesn't even speak to me now, what a difference a few months and a forceful rejection make.

"Kate, I feel sore and thirsty, but for right now that seems to be the worst of it, I'm sorry I worried you, I should have been paying attention-

"Ana NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT...do you understand me?, tell me you understand me..."

The tears that have pooled in my eyes are starting to run down my cheeks as Christian the model once again wipes them away.

"I understand mother dear..." I cough out a slight and painful laugh. "Why does my stomach hurt so much...?" Kate's mouth gapes open, but she doesn't respond right away, her reaction scares the shit out of me.

Christian the underwear model tears his eyes away from me for the first time and looks at Kate who is for the first time since I've known her at a complete loss for words and interjects "Anastasia, your doctor will be here shortly to explain everything, because there was a mix up with the next of kin notification they were not able to provide Ms. Kavanaugh with details about your medical condition."

"Oh, I'm sorry Kate…-"

"Ana I swear if you apologize one more damn time!...I…I love you Ana."

"I love you too mama bear."

"Good morning Ms Steele, I'm Dr Simon and these are my colleagues Drs. Trevelyn-Grey and Dubrow; Ms. Steele do you feel up to talking about your condition"

"I do, please allow my friends to stay with me, I don't want to do this alone." I say glancing at Christian and Kate.

"Ms Steele you sustained a number of stab wounds—

"I was stabbed…?" My eyes begin to fill with water once again, Kate pats my thigh and Christian's massaging of my wrist intensifies.

"Yes you were. The most serious of which was to your neck, fortunately no arteries were effected and by the time you reached the hospital the bleeding had been stopped with direct pressure, your blood loss was minimal. With the help of Dr. Dubrow a renowned plastic surgeon whom Mr. Grey had flown in there should be minimal scarring. You also sustained two stab wounds to your abdomen, but because you were wearing a thick coat and a pretty heavy sweater, the wounds did not penetrate deeply at all. Your hands sustained numerous cuts because it appears at some point you grabbed hold of the knife as well as warded off blows from the knife. Dr. Dubrow assures me there will be minimal scarring there as well; also the index finger on your left hand was broken during the attack so you will need to keep that immobilizer in place for about three to four weeks. I understand this is a lot to take in, but you will have all the information you need to care for yourself once you're discharged."

I was stunned to learn that I had been stabbed, I thought he was hitting me. The human body is a wondrous machine, I remember feeling very little I guess a combination of adrenaline and my anger prevented me from feeling what would have amounted to an enormous amount of pain. My doctors informed me that I would be given instructions on how to dress my wounds and that I would need help in doing that, additionally I would be probably be released within the next day or so barring any other complications which at this point were not likely.

"She's been through enough, she's just now wrapping her mind around what has happened to her, can't this wait for fucks sake?" I hear Christian almost yell from outside my door.

"Sir, the sooner we get details of the attack that only Ms. Steele can give us the better our chances of tracking down the perpetrator, surely you must understand this…"

"Fine you can have ten minutes, if and only if she feels up to it…and the minute she says she's had enough it ends…are we clear?"

"Yes of course"

Christian enters the room and asks if I feel up to talking to police, he assures me he will be right there if I need him and I agree to let him know if I feel in anyway uncomfortable. I have no idea why but I feel so safe having him here, a perfect stranger! I don't know why but I feel like I can do anything as long as he's with me. How on earth does that make any sense at all? I am losing it for sure. Maybe I'm still unconscious.

"I want to help catch him…sure I will answer whatever I can."

I recounted the entire attack to Detective Wallace Best, but I really wasn't much help, I didn't see his face because he was wearing a ski mask I don't remember his eyes I was so focused on fending off blows, and it wasn't until we were on the ground and he tried to get on top of me that I even saw the ski mask. He was wearing gloves and dark clothing, I was unable to tell race because it was just too dark.

His voice was almost a whisper and the only thing he said as he tugged at my jeans was "bitch let it happen" that's when I heard someone yell "what the fuck are you doing" and he ran away.

He wasn't familiar to me and there was nothing I remember to be remarkable about him, that would have been different of course, but he grabbed me from behind and I was foolishly wearing my headphones while walking alone on campus at night.

Kate asked Christian if she could spend a few moments alone with me once the detective was gone and he agreed, but not before telling us that he would be back with food for both of us, since Dr. Simon also cleared me for light fare.

"Steele I have never been more afraid in my life, I'm just so glad you're here with me" she says barely holding back her tears and kissing my forehead. "You have a serious admirer, he has hardly left your side since they brought you here, he arranged for this private room, there are only two other suites on this floor ya know! It's like he's in love with you Steele, I've never seen anything like it."

Kate he's just being kind, he feels responsible for me because he found me I highly doubt—

"Ana please! The man is a billionaire that's billions with a B, he arranged for Dr. Terry Dubrow to fly in…a world renowned plastic surgeon…and not only that see that guy out there? His name is Luke Sawyer and he's YOUR personal security, from now until they catch that asshole who did this. He spent all evening talking to you, he didn't leave until early morning and is all over the SPD and UW campus police, he has demanded all video surveillance from campus and vowed to contact NASA if need be to enhance any video too difficult to see…Kind my ass!"

I try to express how I'm feeling without tearing up, but it's not happening. "I don't know what it is Kate, but I was so scared, and then he was there, I felt so peaceful, I couldn't talk but I was aware of everything he was saying and doing, his eyes…they were…they were my lifeline and I believed every word he said, and I knew I would be alright as long as he was with me. His eyes never left me from the time he found me until they wheeled me away, and when they did I felt so empty and lost, it's a good thing they put me under because I think I would have panicked. I know this sounds crazy but I feel like he was sent to me"

"Wow" is all Kate could say to my revelation. I knew I sounded like a crazy person so I don't blame her one bit for her reaction or lack of clever retort in this situation, because I realize how whacky it sounds even as I'm saying it. What I did not tell her is I know that I saw my future in his eyes and I know we're meant to be together. How's that for batshit crazy? Maybe it's the meds.

And like that he was back, this time he has company, a tall handsome blonde guy who cannot take his eyes off of Kate. They brought us food which consisted of fruit and croissants, orange and cranberry juices. Turns out Fabio's name is Elliot and he's Christian's brother. Kate decides to take her breakfast and eat with Elliot and Sawyer in the lounge area of the suite, she seemed to be quite taken with Elliot and since Christian and I couldn't take our eyes off of one another it was time we spent some time alone before I went to sleep…again.

"So Mr. Grey…"

"Please call me Christian Anastasia…"

"It's just Ana…but tell me do you rescue damsels in distress in between from million dollar mergers on a regular basis?"

He lets out the most adorable belly laugh, and dear god his smile is infectious. This man is seriously beautiful, seriously what the fuck is in this IV?

"Well to answer your question you are in fact my first damsel ever and I'm just glad I was there. You are so beautiful" he strokes my cheek and much to my surprised delight leans in and kisses me, and my face flushes what I assume to be beet red. His lips are so soft and instinctively I kissed him back. After that we just sit staring at each other, until he admonishes me to eat my breakfast. While I eat, he explains my security detail and tells me he will move heaven and earth to make sure I am safe.

"Christian?"

"Yes Ana."

"Why have you done all of this, why are you doing this?"

"Honestly Ana I have never been so drawn to anyone, ever. It's hard to explain really but I took one look in your eyes and I want…no I have to have you close. Does that scare you?"

"No, actually it doesn't I feel drawn to you Christian, you make me feel so…safe."

"You are."

He leans in and kisses me again, but this time the kiss deepens. I feel something stirring in me and it's like nothing I've ever experienced before. I was seriously beginning to think I was maybe not into men; I never felt I was into women either, but never before has anything like this stirred in me in such a pure and undiluted way; one thing for certain I am into him, that's for damn sure. What on earth is this I'm feeling?