I can't help it. I just had to write something about Gin after reading chapter 416 and 417. This is a one-shot and of course this is a work of imagination. Hopefully the manga would turn out to be...more optimistic.

Enjoy.

Of course I do not owe Bleach. Does anyone know why Bleach is called Bleach, by the way?

DEAREST

I'm lazy and alcoholic. You know all that, don't you? You can't possibly not know about Rangiku's notorious night-outs with the drunkards of the Gotei 13; and how my icy Taicho yells at me on a daily basis. Maybe you really don't, being oh-so-mighty as Aizen's second in command, but I would like to think that you care enough to note what have become of your childhood…friend.

Or whatever it is that you think I was.

Oh, maybe there is one thing you don't know, but should have known—I'm incredibly patient too. I wonder if that came from you, Gin. Back then, I could wait and wait for days without sleep and forcefully pry my eyes open during times of exhaustion just to check if you'd come home. Still, your excursions always ended with you finding me positively asleep on tattered pieces of cloth that served as our bed. But I naively believed that you knew that I waited, because I always did.

And still do.

So many times, after a grueling day of paperwork or just incessant yelling from Taicho, I would restlessly toss and turn in my humble quarters and wonder if you were playing a game of patience with me. Perhaps all along, even before we crossed paths, you have been waiting for something or someone, and before your anticipation is answered you will continue waiting unconditionally. So I waited too, waiting for your job to be done so that we can…share. Share whatever that's left of us when the suffering is over.

I've seen you. You, wide awake at night during our Rukongai days, sitting up in bed with your ice blue eyes opened in seriousness. You would then realise that I was staring and hush me to sleep. "Don't bother," you said once. I didn't quite understand. Now I do.

Don't bother asking. Don't bother yourself with thoughts so evil that they should never reach you. Don't bother telling me to sleep over it, 'cause there ain't no way to escape. From your horrendous plans of revenge and redemption; from Aizen and the hurt you and him together would cause all of us.

But that didn't work, you know? For some idiotic reason I am programmed to care about you and therefore I do bother. I don't even want to guess what my reasons are, for fear that I will have no way to numb myself from the pain of losing you. And numbed myself I did, after you left—floating away from Sokyouku Hill to your wonderland. I told myself that you have your reasons, and excluding me from your plans was an act of betrayal but not abandonment.

What about now, Gin? The numbness is gone and I wonder if you feel as pained as I do. I still fear, very much like a child waiting for a last-minute savior. I am very afraid—can you tell? I don't know how distorted my face looks like at this very moment with you lying on the ground. Your breath is too shallow and I'm not sure if I'm picking up any reaitsu from you. Your cheeks are wet from my tears, and your features blur away before my eyes as tears continue to well up and spill over my lids.

If you're leaving again, Gin, is your last wish to stop my annoying and pathetic crying? I've not cried for so long.

Because you told me you hated it.

I see your lips move but I can't hear you. I don't know if you're finally ready to share what I've been missing for so long. Yet, ironically, right now I simply do not care what you're trying to say.

"Stay!" I exclaimed suddenly, despite the difficulty of speech due to my consistent sobbing. I swiped my fingers across my face to momentarily wipe away the tears. "Whatever you're trying to tell me, it's really too late… Gin… I don't need explanations. I just want you!"

And another cascade of tears fell onto your pale face.

You can betray me a million times more, but don't you dare abandon me again. Don't get me wrong, I can go on waiting forever. It's just that I'll age and decay inside-out without you.

I grab your arm in panic as your breath slows to an impossible pace. Your eyes, no longer fixed at the fighting figures of Ichigo and Aizen in the distance, are hazy as they struggled to focus on me. "I lost, Rangiku." You draw a long breath, barely succeeding.

"Wh..at?" I realise my voice is dry and choked.

"My bet against Aizen."

"I'm losing too..." I cast a meaningful look at you before bending down to whisper. And each little word stabs me through the heart, "…that bet a hundred years ago. I'm going to be out in the rain, am I not?"

"Stop that, Ran-chan, or I'm gonna leave ya out in the rain." You knelt before me, a hand on top of my ruffled hair.

My tears didn't cease, and I buried my face in between my knees before responding with a muffled "You won't."

"Ya wanna bet?" I reluctantly raised my head at your teasing tone.

"I bet you'll never leave me out alone!" I managed to crack a confident smile in between sobs, my face a mess from dirty tears and a couple of bruises from the day's food hunt. "Gin won't want to see Ran sick, right?"

"Rather have ya sickly and quiet than ya cryin' like that. I hate seeing my dearest things crumbling before my eyes."

Gin, I hate that too.

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