A/N Our now story. Hope you enjoy it. Please review and share with friends. We don't own anything. Ten ton penguin, well that broke the ice. HAHAHAA hilarious. Enjoy.
Professor Snape was getting tired of his monotonous duties as potions master. He was looking through his special summer addition of witch weekly when he saw and advert.
Farmer wanted!
The old farmer of our farm died when he was assassinated by a group of anti capitalist heroine addicted donkeys and some rather angry pigs. The animals in question have now been jailed and sentenced to life in prison and the farm has returned to normal however we are now lacking a farmer.
Anybody interested call 2662437 and ask to speak to Ima melon, the presenter of the hit TV show extreme pruning!
Professor Snape felt a rush of excitement. Farmer Snape. He liked the sound of that. He hurriedly sought out Professor McGonagall to ask to burrow her phone.
When he found her she was deep in conversation with somebody on the other end of her mobile.
"Lyk yh bbz." She laughed "OMG that is lyk sooo truuuu."
"No yuuu hang up first." She cooed.
"Awright luv u looooottts lyk jeeeellly toooooottts bbz. C u at da skatepark next sat'day innit bled? BRAP!" She cried, flicking her wrist and straightening her backwards baseball cap. She stood up, her bright pink joggers clashed horribly with her fluorescent yellow high tops and her baggy Nike hoodie. Her face was coated in a thick layer of orange foundation and her hair was dyed red with ratty blonde extensions hanging to her waist. Her lips were lined with bright pink lip-liner and painted purple. She had a piercing through her eyebrows, her lip, either side of her nose and her tongue. She turned to see Snape stood in the doorway in awe of her new appearance.
"Wow, Professor McGonagall. You look stunning babes." He commented.
"Wat dus u want m8?" She asked, strutting across the room towards him. "And it's MC McGonagall now."
"Oh, right. I just wondered if I could borrow your phone. Dumby's gone and nicked mine." He sighed.
"Wut u gonna pay meh 4 it m8. I wan sommit in return ya get me?" She insisted.
"What do you want me to do?" He asked worriedly.
"Dance."
"Dance?"
"I wan u to dance m8, fgs wi cant u just lssen to meh?"
Snape began a Scottish jig, swishing his cloak around in a figure of eight.
"Not lyk dat, lyk dis m8." She shouted. She began a complicated dance routine. First she lunged on one leg, hands behind her head, then the other leg. She then squatted, putting her hands up above her head. Then she put her hands together as though praying and moved them down in a fishy movement towards the floor. She then began to wobble her arms around, doing the jelly fish.
Snape copied. They danced for hours until they were very worn out.
"Yuu can use ma phone now m8?" She muttered, thrusting her phone at Snape.
"Thank you MC McGonagall. And may I say, you look dashing." He winked before leaving the room.
TO BE CONTINUED…..