Ianto finally cracks
Ianto had the day from hell. The job was getting the better of him, and alone time he had to think his thoughts clouded with worries and deep set paranoia of anything and everything that was current in his life. But his thoughts always went back to one thing, his relationship with Jack.
He sat there, in the boardroom at the Torchwood Hub. Just thinking. All day he'd tried to talk to Jack numerous times but he was met with angry replies of 'not now Ianto'. Jack was always busy and couldn't spare any time for him, and this pissed him off. Jack treated him like shit, he was just being used as someone to shag when he was bored or when the time possessed him, it was never convenient and never thought through. Ianto knew that Jack was a man, and his relationship with him was less than conventional, but he longed for the occasional show of affection. He knew it sounded soppy and needy, but Jack wouldn't even admit they were a couple and it hurt. He is new to the whole 'gay' thing, and Jack didn't exactly ease him into it, but he loved him with all his heart. And wish he could get the same back in return.
The bottles were just sitting there, staring at him. Almost mocking him. No one was around, and he wasn't much of a drinker but he needed it. He picked up the first bottle and downed it, feeling it slide down the back of his throat easily, so be drained the next, and the next, and before he knew it he had drunk the lot, mixing whatever he could find to make the thoughts and pain go away. He started to feel light headed and felt his anger rising within, he couldn't control it anymore, it was as if the barriers had fallen and there was nothing stopping him.
Gwen walked in the hub as usual. It was dark so she assumed no one was in so she made her way over to what once was Tosh's area, stroking the picture of Toshiko and Owen as she sat down on the stool at the workstation. The suddenly she heard a smash. The glass shattered from above her, she knew it had come from the boardroom; Now she was alert. Immediately stopping what she was doing she ran up the stairs as silently as she could managed, her gun to hand and ready to fire. "Hello?" she called, but no reply was heard, "Hello? Anyone there?" she called again walking around the corner and into the room. It was then that she saw Ianto hunched over against the far wall, head in his hands, covered in blood with glass shards everywhere. Gwen was shocked at the sight, Ianto couldn't have done this, not the Ianto she knew. But then she smelt the alcohol and saw the empty bottles. "Oh Ianto".
Her maternal instinct took over when she heard him sobbing. She upholstered her gun and slowly walked up to him taking in her surroundings, not wanting to alarm him. "What's the matter Ianto? What happened to the glass?" she said as softly as she could, he lifted up his head and Gwen saw the redness around his eyes and the tears that covered his face like escaped feelings spilling from his body. "I'm sorry" Ianto began to say over and over, "It's ok" Gwen said with a smile, "Really, just tell me what happened, maybe I can help?". She sat down next to him, stroking his back in soothing circles with every sharp intake of breath. He started to speak but his speech was slurred.
"He never listens to me, it's always 'not now Ianto!'. I know I love him, but he doesn't love me, he just pretends to so he can get what he wants, I'm like his own personal puppet, it doesn't matter what I feel or say, he just uses me for sex, that's all. I knew it wouldn't be a normal relationship, but not like this. I can't handle it". Ianto paused for a long moment, going red, building confidence with every word that he said. "Who Jack?" Gwen asked cautiously, "Yes Jack, of course, who else would I be talking about, I've got no one else, no friends, no parents, all I have is a sister who hates me" he explained, "But you have me Ianto, I'm your friend, you know that!" she comforted, seeing the hurt in his eyes.
"Huh! Yeah, some friend, Jack likes you more than me. I've seen the way he looks at you, on your wedding before I cut in, the way he looked at you, with so much love, the whole night he focused on you, I just happened to be there, barely registered but not in his thoughts", the tears beginning to fall more freely as he spoke. "It was my wedding, I'm bound to be the centre of attention, come on Ianto, nothing can happen between me and Jack, I have Rhys, and you have Jack, and he loves you. I know it, all he ever talks about when he's with me, is you, it might seem like he doesn't care but that's Jack for you, he keeps his poker face on at all times" Gwen explained, knowing Ianto didn't want to believe a word. "What can I do to make him love me? How can I change? I'll do anything, anything to hear him say those three words to me" Ianto sobbed.
Gwen moved closer, hugging him as his tears seeped through her top, but she didn't care, Ianto was hurt and all she wanted to do was help him. "Let me see that hand? She asked, reaching for the bloodied hand he clung to his chest. The glass shards shinning in from the wound, making a pool of blood on the floor beside him. "Its fine" Ianto chocked, "Its not Ianto, I think you'll need stiches, come on tell me what happened?" Gwen told him, "I…I just got really angry, I felt like I was going to explode, and it was just there, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" He mumbled seeking forgiveness. "Its okay, ill sort it, its fine".
She sat there for what seemed like forever, just holding him in her arms, telling him that everything would be ok. She understood what Ianto was trying to say, sure she didn't know much about what happens between her boss and Ianto, but she knew that Jack treated him like dirt right in front of her, and she could see that changing his sexuality can't have been easy on him. "You know, its not men, it's just him. I like the way he smirks at me from a distance, I feel all warm inside and get butterflies, I know that sounds stupid, but I do. It's like there's this link between us, a spark when we touch, and when I'm not around him I feel sick and alone. I feel safe with him, I just wish he would see it" Ianto recited, as if he was in a trance with a smile breaking out on is lips.
"I'll be back in a second" Gwen said reassuringly, "I'm just gunna get some anti-sceptic for that wound". She got up and walked out, planning to call Jack. This was his mess, his fault, and he was the only one who could put it right. When she was out of sight she put the phone to her ear, dialling Jack's number. After a moment of silence and then an American accent plagued her ears, "Harkness" he said in a muffled tone, "Hey Jack, its Gwen" she replied, thinking of ways of telling him what's gone on, "Erm, Gwen, I'm a little tied up right now, could you tell me when I get back to the hub?" he asked, "No Jack, its Ianto" She said rather vaguely, "Ianto? What's happened?" he asked worriedly, Gwen had never heard this side of him before. "Talk to me" Jack pushed, wanting to know what was wrong with his lover, "Right, before you freak, it wasn't Ianto's fault, he's just…emotional and kinda drunk" she explained, "Drunk? Gwen is this one of your jokes to get me back 'cos- " He said confused, Ianto hardly ever drank. "Jack, shut up and listen, he's hurt his hand, he smashed the glass panel in the boardroom" She said quieter. "Are you sure this is Ianto your talking about? Cos it sure as hell doesn't sound like him" He questioned, knowing the actions were out of character for him. "It's Ianto, Jack, just get down here, please, it's you he wants" she explained disconnecting the call.
Now all that she had to do was wait for Jack to arrive, but in the mean time she went to find the first aid kit by the autopsy room. She took it and made her way back to Ianto who was still hunched over on the floor when she got back, in the same position she found him in. "Ianto?" Gwen said, approaching him, "Jack's on his way, he's worried about you", but Ianto didn't respond, it was as if he was staring into thin air, "Can I see your hand? I've got the first aid kit, I'm no medic but ill give it a go, you should really go to hospital, it needs stitching" She explained, "No, It's fine Gwen, thank you" he smiled at her, but she could see he was hurting inside. She heard the cog door alarm, signifying Jack's arrival so she told Ianto she would be right back.
Jack walked across the hub and up the stairs to reach where Gwen was. He was instantly shocked with what he saw, "Bloody hell" he exclaimed, "Ha, that aint the half of it…Look Jack, you've gotta go in and talk to him, but before you go, his hand, it need stitching and it's got glass in it. He won't let me touch it, maybe you could get him to go to the hospital?" She said a little too quietly, but as Jack went to walk it she caught his arm. "And another thing" Gwen said, her voice taking on an angry tone "I just thought if let you know that its all your fault, its you he looks up to, its you he loves, and you treat him like shit!, he's never had feeling for a man before and instead of easing him into it you chucked him in the deep end! You treat him like a dog Jack, you only call on him when you want something, mainly a shag, he's got feelings too!" She shouted at him. Jack just tried to process what she just said, alright he kind of understood where she was coming from, but it couldn't have been all his fault. Could it?.
Ianto could hear Gwen shouting at Jack from where he was sat as the glass was no longer there for soundproofing. Her voice echoed through the hub, and he heard his name mentioned a couple of times and suddenly he felt really bad, like the realisation of what he had just done washed over him, and that's when Jack walked in. Perfect timing as ever.
Ianto looked up as soon as he heard the heavy footsteps, he knew them anywhere. "Hey" Jack said with a smile, taking in his surroundings and not believing Ianto was capable of this. He slowly walked over to his friend and partner, the glass crunching underneath his timberlands. He sat down next to Ianto, taking his hand un-injured had and placing it in his own, "I'm so sorry Jack, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry" Ianto recited over and over, the tears streaming from his face like before. "It's okay now Ianto, I'm here, everything's gunna be just fine" Jack told him, wrapping an arm around him and planting a soft kiss to Ianto's forehead. "I'm the one who should be sorry Ianto, I'm the one who caused this…I love you Ianto, and I know I don't say it enough but I do, and yes I treat you like dirt half of the time….i realise that now, I just hope you can forgive me" Jack explained, stroking lines down Ianto's back with his hand. "Jack?" Ianto begun before Jack interrupted, "Do you regret ever knowing me?, you must do, all I have done since we met was being trouble down on you", Ianto looked up at Jack before he continued, "The only thing I regret is not kissing you the first time we met, and the second, and the third" Ianto laughed at this, lifting his head up slightly so he could be met by Jack's lips. They kissed each other hard, like it was long awaited.
Jack dried the tears from Ianto's eyes and Jack intended to make it up to him. When they kissed again Jack could taste the bitter taint of alcohol on Ianto's tongue, Ianto kissed back sloppily, hand wondering down Jack's body, Jack pulled him in closer, pushing their bodies together and never once loosing contact. They removed each-others clothes with swift movements, they had done this so many times they were skilled I doing so, even with Ianto being drunk he still managed the task . Jack was careful with him, there was glass in the room and Ianto had cut his hand, but this still didn't slow them down. Ianto moved backwards, towards the wall at the opposite side of the room where there was no shards of glass to distract them, they stumbled and fell to the floor. Ianto letting out an 'Oof' sound before laughing and their eyes met once again. "God you're so sexy" Jack groaned out, moving down Ianto's body to kiss every inch of bare flesh that was exposed. Ianto giggled and said "You're not so bad yourself, sir" knowing full well how that effected Jack, he pushed his body up against Jack's and ground their hips together, making it obvious he didn't want the foreplay. Jack just smirked and whispered into Ianto's ear "Your impatient, I like that, but I'm gunna do this my way, I want to make love to you" he told him, earning a gasp from the other man.
When Jack had finished caressing Ianto's body, and successfully holding him down and any attempt that he made at touching him. He wanted to make Ianto feel good, and not worry about satisfying the other. Ianto hissed when Jack fist entered him, lifting his legs above his head and onto his shoulders so that Jack could see him when he came. He trailed kisses down Ianto's neck as he slowly rocked their bodies together slowly, and torturously. "Not long now, just relax and be patient for me" Jack told him, knowing Ianto was getting aggravated at how long he was talking and how he was teasing him, but soon every thrust hit his prostate, and all he could see was white as his orgasm took hold. "I love you" Ianto screamed out in more of a grunt, hearing Jack's gasps as he came straight after, filling him. Jack fell on top of Ianto and they held each other until they could see straight again, exhausted and tired they fell asleep in each-others arms.
When the morning came Jack woke first, and spent hours just staring at Ianto covered up with his military coat, fast asleep. But its wasn't long until Ianto stirred and opened his beautiful blue eyes to be met with Jack's beside him. The morning light beamed in on both men, pouring over Jack, accentuating every inch of him, his jaw line, his physic and his eyes glistened as he looked down, Ianto thought he looked angelic. He just stared at Jack for a while until he leant down and pecked him on the cheek, saying "Good morning sleepy head" with a smile. "Have you been watching me?" Ianto questioned a little groggily, stretching his arms out, "I might have…you're so peaceful when you sleep" Jack told him softly, "Yeah, but you prefer me when I'm awake" he joked, "Mmm" was all that Jack could say as Ianto began to sit up. Ianto reached over and brushed the side of Jack's face "We should be getting dressed the others will be here soon", Jack agreed, watching Ianto as he held his head, experiencing a hangover, "That's what drinking a liquor store will do to you, now up and dressed", "Is that an order Captain?" Ianto joked, standing up taking Jack's coat with him so that he was covered whilst finding his clothes. Whereas Jack didn't have a problem with walking around naked.
"There's no need to cover the view, it's nothing I haven't seen many, many times before" Jack joked wanting Ianto to be comfortable with his body. He walked behind him, taking the coat forcefully out of Ianto's grasp as he held on tight, and just held him for some time, before Ianto reached around and slapped his arse "Get dressed" he ordered mockingly. It didn't take Ianto long to get dressed, probably because he was frightened that the others would come in early and see them. He heard Jack cursing about his zip as he turned, he gave his a look that said 'what's wrong this time' before the captain said, straining "Bloody thing won't do up". Ianto laughed walking closer to Jack offering "Here, let me do it, all you need is a gentle pull", he knelt down, teasingly as he zipped up Jack's trousers. Jack ruffled his hair as Ianto kissed his waistline, "Mmm, you look good from this angle" Jack smiled, "Yeah, yeah captain horny, we really should be getting some work done" Ianto told him getting up and brushing himself down, startled when Jack brought him in for a tender kiss, saying between breaths "Work can wait a couple of minutes".
They continued kissing until they heard the door move and Gwen appear, and then disappear to give them some privacy. Although neither men noticed. Jack held Ianto's face "Everything will be alright, so you had an off day, we all have them from time to time" he said before pecking Ianto's lips once more and walking out. Ianto followed calling to Gwen from the stairs. Gwen stopped and walked back up towards Ianto, both feeling awkward,. "I'm really sorry about yesterday", "It's fine Ianto, really" Gwen smiled, "No, it isn't, look I'm cooking dinner tonight and thought you and Rhys might want to come over?" he asked doubtfully, "You don't need to do that Ianto" Gwen assured him, "I do, now are you interested?" he asked, "Yeah, ok, seven alright for you?" she asked getting the ball rolling, "Yup, sevens perfect!" he lightened up. Jack walked back to see what they were talking about, catching their conversation and restng his head gently on Ianto's shoulder.
"I hope I'm invited, is there an after-party?" Jack charmed, "You can come along to Jack, in fact, you can help me cook!" Ianto almost chorused, delighted that Gwen accepted. Gwen was startled, the thought of Jack cooking was beyond her imagination, she knew Ianto normally did everything for Jack. Ianto turned and Jack smiled, "I might need a little persuading" he suggested, Ianto giggled and walked off.
Later that day after multiple alien encounters and a couple of rouge Weevil's the team went home; Gwen went to get Rhys reading for Ianto's apology dinner and decide what gift to bring, she thought wine seemed appropriate. Jack however followed Ianto to his apartment, trying his best to be the first one through the door and taking up residence on the sofa, with his feet up on the coffee table; much to Ianto's disgust. Ianto stared at Jack for a moment and he still didn't move, and that's when he noticed the blood stain on the lapel of Jack's coat, Ianto being Ianto, went straight into the kitchen and got a wet towel, sitting on Jack's lap and rubbing it off which Jack found amusing. Jack looked up at him, the concentration on his face making him laugh. "There's some blood on your coat but it won't come off!" Ianto said finally, aggravated, "Leave it, it's fine, so when I notice it I'll think of you, oh, and It could be a good topic for conversation" Jack told him, but Ianto still scrubbed at the collar persistently scrubbing at it, so Jack took it out of his hands. Distracting him with a kiss before whacking him on the arse with it, "You've got cooking to do" he told Ianto, "Correction, we've got cooking to do" Ianto said leaning his head to one side.
It wasn't long before Ianto started making the sauce, as he decided to make Pasta. He didn't want to over think what he made them but wanted it to be something special, casual, but not too casual, and pasta worked. He was still stirring the sauce when Jack decided to distract him once again, asking to try Ianto's amazing cooking. Ianto passed him the spoon with a little drop of sauce on it, making sure not to spill it Ianto handed it over to Jack, but was surprised when Jack fed it to him. Ianto was confused until Jack kissed him, transferring the sauce into both greedy mouths for a taste. Jack pulled away smirking, "You did not just do that" Ianto told him finding him still smirking, "I think you'll find it did, I'm defiantly gunna buy you an apron saying 'kiss the chef', it'll suit you, especially if its red" Jack joked, then turned serious "No, really that was nice Yan, they're gunna love it". "Well thanks for your critique , now get back onto that sofa and do what you normally do, which is nothing!" Ianto kidded, "Is that an order, sir?" Jack asked, saluting him mockingly, "You know Jack, I think I preferred it when I did everything for you, and you clowned about not taking the slightest interest in what I was doing, at least then I could get something done" Ianto reminisced. "Are you calling me lazy!" Jack asked faking looking surprised, "Look…" Ianto began, taking Jack's hands and pushing his into the living room, "Sit here, put your feet up and don't move" Ianto instructed pushing Jack down onto the sofa. But Jack had other ideas, pulling Ianto down with him. "Jaaack! I've got to get this food cooked!", "The food can wait" Jack told him, "Now when have I heard that before?, I know what happened last time you said that and there's not going to be a repeat performance until this food is done!" Ianto explained, "So does that mean I get you all to myself later?" Jack asked, "Yes Jack, but for now I need to get this done, ok?" Ianto said pecking him on the check and going to get up.
Jack called out "You're no fun!" in a childish manner, Ianto took pity on him, he knew how highly stung his captain was. "Look if you want to be helpful and you promise to behave; you can come back into the kitchen and help stir the pasta? Seeing as you're incapable of sitting still". Jack glared at Ianto, before following him back into the kitchen, taking note of what he had to stir. Two seconds in and Jack decided to make Pasta-Stirring an Olympic sport, seeing how fast he could stir it without the pasta escaping the pan; which he failed at. "Typical kid!" Ianto told him, snatching the spoon away from him causing Jack to give him an evil grin "Spoil sport" Jack mumbled, stealing the spoon back out of Ianto's hands, scooping some of his sauce up and flicking it at his 'nice' shirt.
Jack was in a fit of laughter, although Ianto didn't find it the least bit funny. "Eurgh. Jack!" Ianto groaned, getting another wet dish cloth and frantically trying to remove the stain. "What!" Jack answered innocently, before pressing Ianto against the counter and starting to undo his shirt buttons, "Jack, what are you doing?" Ianto asked, "Now I've given you a reason to take your shirt off, you always wear waaay too many clothes!" Jack told him in his best 'matter-of-fact' voice. "Right back at ya!" Ianto called, chucking a soaking wet tea towel at Jack's shirt, watching the water seep through and turning it a darker shade of blue, "Two can pay that game" Ianto told him, impressed with himself. Jack and Ianto laughed in unison, Jack tried to push Ianto on the counter top, spreading his legs whilst wrapping his arms around his waist. "Gwen and Rhys will be here soon" Ianto told him, "We'll be finished well before then Ianto, quit worrying" Jack tempted him, pulling him towards the bedroom door. "I should get a restraining order out against you" Ianto mumbled against Jack's shirt, "If you wanted to restrain me, all you had to do is ask" Jack said spinning Ianto's words, "Your believable, you know that?" Ianto laughed, finding it amazing how Jack has sex on the brain 24/7, "Meh, I've been told once or twice, now get your sexy welsh ass into that bedroom before I take you right here" Jack expressed his impatience. All Ianto could do was comply.
Not too soon after the doorbell rang. Gwen and Rhys waited patiently for a fair amount of time, wondering if they were ever going to be invited in. "Its bloody freezing out here!" Rhys complained once again, he had said that numerous times on the way to Ianto's flat and Gwen told him she had no sympathy for him, she suggested he brought a coat, which he insisted that he didn't need. All that was left now was for Gwen to say 'i-told-you-so' but she was too cold to care about idle arguments, she rang the doorbell for the fourth time, a little more impatiently than the last. "What are they doing in there?, actually second thoughts, I really don't wanna know" Gwen whined, shifting the weight for one leg to the other in an attempt to keep warm.
Whilst inside Ianto and Jack were hastily getting re-clothed. Ianto having to pick out a new shirt, even though it took his over an hour to pick the one he was wearing out, he worried too much about this dinner from the food to the clothes, he didn't want to imply too much, but didn't want to look too casual either. "You look fine!" Jack said seeing Ianto fuss over different shirts. "That's easy for you to say, you wear the same bloody thing every day!" Ianto told him annoyed that he couldn't find a shirt he liked, "Well I seem to recall you liking it, 'sides you do my shopping so I'm blaming you" Jack said annoying Ianto even more, "Yeah, because last time I changed so much as your shirt colour, you refused to wear it!" Ianto explained, "What can I say, I like the colour blue" Jack said closing the door on the small wardrobe he had filled with his clothes for when he stayed over at Ianto's.
When he couldn't take it anymore, and didn't want to be rude for much longer, Ianto shoved on a silky black shirt and practically ran towards the door slapping Jack's arse on the way in an attempt to hurry him up. When he reached the door he greeted both Gwen and Rhys, taking the bottle from their hands and telling them she shouldn't have. Jack walked in the living room still doing the buttons of his shirt up, getting a look from Rhys, which Ianto was quick to jump in with an explanation. "Oh, he got sauce down my shirt acting like a child, so I threw a wet tea towel at his for payback" he told them as if it happened all the time. Gwen just shrugged it off, whilst Rhys mumbled "and you just happened to have clean shirts at Ianto's house" before getting jabbed in the ribs by Gwen's elbow.
"Please, sit down, make yourself at home" Ianto told them, taking Gwen's coat and smiling as he pointed to the sofa. "Thanks mate" Rhys said, flumping down onto the sofa as if it was his house, "Come on luv" he said to Gwen, ushering her to sit down next to him. "The pasta will be ready soon" Ianto told them gaining smiles before walking back to the kitchen with Jack close behind. "Jack, can you help me with the, er, food" Ianto said loud before he realised that he was behind him. "Sir, yes sir!" Jack called from close by. "What do you want me to do then?" Jack asked cautiously, "Can you strain the spaghetti for me please?" Ianto asked, busying himself with other tasks. Jack got a spoon and fork out from the draw, closing it with a bounce of his hip, and started lumping the spaghetti that was still soaking, in bundles on the plate, not listening to what Ianto had told him to do. As soon as Ianto noticed he kicked himself, he knew letting Jack in the kitchen was a bad idea. "Why did I let you loose in the kitchen in the first place, go sit down with Gwen and Rhys and make conversations, crack a few jokes, go on" Ianto told him trying to salvage what he could of the spaghetti and wiping down the plates.
"Why do I have to be the entertainment?" Jack whined, "Because your distracting me from dishing out the food" Ianto muttered, "Distracting?" Jack said in a playful tone, "I can be distracting" Jack said emphasising every word, but Ianto was having none of it, "Well you can go and be distracting someplace else". Jack groaned as he proceeded to strain the spaghetti in a normal manner, with Ianto smiling as he did so, thinking about how childish Jack could be and how he managed without him all those years at Torchwood, Jack had almost become dependent on Ianto, and he secretly liked it, at least that way he knew Jack would be thinking of him.
Ianto took the spaghetti filled plates from Jack and carefully placed a dollop of tomato and basil sauce over the top as neatly as he could, and each dish looked almost identical and quite obviously perfect. Jack smiled. He was going to take two plates in when Ianto stopped him, "Wait a sec" Ianto told him before sprinkling some black pepper over the top of each dish and placing some parmesan cheese all over. Jack was about to go again when Ianto stopped him by placing a hand on his chest. Jack looked at the hand, and then back up to Ianto, "Just one more thing, I promise" Ianto smiled knowing what Jack was thinking. Watching as Ianto placed a mint leaf on each of the plates for presentationsly, "ehind him. "JacJack