Happiness at Last If you haven't seen Threads or Moebius then don't read this fic unless you want to be spoiled. Enjoy
A/N: This is something that came to mind after Moebius and the new season is just around the corner and with all the spoilers and the speculation on the groups this is what I wish would happen. The song "Tonight I Celebrate My love" isn't mind and neither is the Sam and Jack Characters (sigh) but I like to play with them from time to time and put them back when I'm done.
Why am I here?
Because he asked me to come and I could never deny him anything. He was leaving and the shock of hearing him tell me and the guys had still not sunk in.
He was going away and leaving me behind. That is the first thing that comes to my mind. I paste on fake smile and remember mumbling how happy I am for him and this would be a great opportunity for him.
He was going to Washington to swim with the sharks.
General Hammond had asked his former 2IC to join his staff since he would be taking a position with on the Presidents Cabinet. He wants him to take over his position as head of home world security.
Walking up the walkway I feel like I'm was never going to see him again. Now that things have changed and I knew what I wanted he was leaving.
The last couple of months had been hard for both of us. The death of my father had hit him as hard as it had hit me.
They were so much alike it was inevitable they would get along even though they clashed on occasion. They both respected each other and to have Jacob Carter's respect was a grand feat, something that did not go unnoticed by everyone around us especially me. I had always had a hard time getting my father's respect and he had done it in a short while.
Dad had let the colonel call him dad and never corrected him like he did with Pete. I was a little stunned that he had given Pete a hard time since I was going to marry him but it all made sense now.
This last year had been hard for all of us. It had stretched our friendships to the limit. It started with me dating Pete, me nearly dying at the hands of the super soldier, Janet's loss, and almost losing him to the ancient's knowledge, him saving the world again coming back to us with a weapon to kick the replicator's ass, and my torture at the hands of fifth started our year.
My nerves had been stretched to the limit thinking some unforeseen source was taking everything they had and throwing it at SG1 to see if we would survive.
We had survived but at what cost.
The cost of lives lost promises shattered and the sense of things never ever returning to the way they where. It made me rethink my priorities.
I felt everything was coming to an end and how fragile life was, and that we only had one chance at happiness. But things went back to the way things were. He had accepted the job as the head of the SGC and had promoted me in the process. I hid my feelings and went on like usual knowing I had blown my chance to tell him what was in my heart that day at his house.
Pete had proposed and I was at a loss for words. This man was giving me everything I ever wanted on a silver platter and I could not bring myself to say yes the minute after he asked me to be his wife.
I remember showing Jack the ring and trying to see what he was feeling.
Had he given up on what we felt for one another? Had the room we left our love in been cleaned out since I had moved on?
I point blank asked him what would he do and waited to see if he would profess his love to me. His answer was short something I should have expected but spoke volumes.
I accepted Pete's proposal knowing I had hurt the man I truly loved and was trying to move on with someone that would not ask much of me, and would accept what I was willing to give to him.
My life was in turmoil and it was coming to a head. The plans for the wedding were a weekly chore to me. I should have been the happiest person on earth but felt I was walking towards my doom. I started to have doubts but Pete just chalked it up to nerves and said he would take care of everything. I hadn't even picked out my dress and when Pete asked I lied and said it was at a friend's house since I didn't want him to see it.
He was excited saying this time was going to be for keeps and me just smiling and agreeing with him. Why couldn't I accept this man's love?
Pete had put a down payment on a house. That made it official I needed to get out and get out now. I went straight to Jack's home to lay my cards on the table. It was now or never. But I never got the chance. He had moved on and my heart let out a cry of pain. I had strung him along all this time waiting for him to make the first move, and I had paid by losing him to a younger beautiful woman that had taken my place in his heart. I wanted to beg him to take me back that I would give up my career just to have him back. It never came to light I was called away to the base. My father was dying.
I felt my life slowly slip from my hands. My father said I could be happy and when I said I was he knew I was lying. He then gave me the best piece of advice I would cherish till the day I die, not to let rules stand in my way and I could have everything I wanted. I looked into his eyes but was afraid to respond to him. Had he seen right through me? Had he known I was playing it safe with Pete since I couldn't have what I truly wanted? I said I had everything I wanted and I was happy. He gave me a sigh and a look of disappointment. But he smiled and told me the choice I made would affect those around me and that I should really look at what I had and what I was giving up. He closed his eyes to sleep and I told him I'd be back.
I watched as he slipped slowly to his final resting place. Jack was there and I thanked him for everything. What he didn't know was what I meant. Everything was him having confidence in me, for trusting me with his life and at one time with his heart. Everything was the hair brain idea's that he never questioned and for never leaving me behind, and me knowing I would always have him in my life.
He pulled me into him and said always and I believed him. Others would come and go in our life but we would always have one another.
I buried my father and I called off the wedding. I knew I wasn't the person that would make Pete happy even though he said I was everything he ever wanted in a wife. I couldn't have him ruin his life. I was in love with another man and for me to recite my vows professing my love and devotion to him in front of everyone would be a lie.
Jack had been there to pick up the pieces whisking me away to get my head together. We had the best time talking on the way up to his cabin discovering things about each other that we never had a chance to explore. He was more relaxed and so laid back. Not the intense Colonel/General I had known for years but the friend I had got to know when things were rough and I need a shoulder to lean on. I missed this between us and I fell in love with him all over knowing I had never stopped loving him.
He was patient and gave me the stability I needed. He held me when I would burst into tears with the realization that my father was not coming back and I was alone.
He said I would never be alone that I had him and he wasn't going anywhere.
But now I didn't know. I felt betrayed thinking he was breaking a promise and would no longer be there to catch me when I would fall.
My first trip to the cabin and it would be my last. He was leaving and there was nothing I could do about it. I felt lost but knew this was the best thing for him he deserve the recognition this position would give him. The world owed him.
So I took a page from his book. Buried my emotions and tried to soothe my broken heart as I watch him walk away from my life and my side.
PART 2
I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. With me being lost in thought I had not noticed that the porch light was off. He didn't answer and I knocked again louder this time.
He didn't answer again. Why would he ask me to come over when he wasn't going to be here?
I tried the door and found it open.
The soldier in me kicked in as I took my gun out of my purse wanting to make sure he was safe. I walked into the dining room and kitchen area and saw nothing out of the ordinary I called him out but no one answered. I saw lights flickering from outside I moved into the living room and saw candles they were leading to the back yard I followed them and came upon his stereo with a post it that said press play. I did putting my gun away and curious as to where my former CO was.
The strains of soft music started and I recognized it.
Tonight, I celebrate my love for you
It seems like the natural thing to do
Tonight, no one's gonna find us
We'll leave the world behind us
When I make love to you.
I gasp when I feel his arms on my shoulders. He's paused the cd.
"Hey Carter."
I turned around.
"Sir, what's going on? You asked me to come over and the place is dark and …."
He places a finger to my lips.
"Did I ever tell you that you talk too much?"
I nod my head yes and he smiles, "Carter wanna dance?"
I open my mouth to answer but no words come out.
Instead I smile and nod yes.
He turns on the CD again and we move to the music.
Tonight, I celebrate my love for you
And hope, that deep inside you feel it too
Tonight our spirits will be climbing
To a sky lit up with diamonds
When I make love to you,
Tonight.
Tonight, I celebrate my love for you
And that midnight song
Is gonna come shining through
Tonight, there'll be no distance between us
What I want most to do
Is to get close to you
Tonight.
Tonight, I celebrate my love for you
And soon this old world will seem brand new
Tonight, we will both discover
How friends turn into lovers
When I make love to you
Tonight I celebrate my love for you
and that midnight song
Is gonna come shining through
Tonight, there'll be no distance between us
What I want most to do
Is to get close to you
Tonight, I celebrate my love for you
Tonight
I lost all track of time, all that mattered to me was that I was in his arms and I never wanted to let go. The song ended and I dreaded opening my eyes.
I turned to look at him and whispered if this was a dream.
He nodded no.
"Do you know how long I've waited to hold you like this? To dance with you and not worry that it would get back to Washington or Hammond that I was acting inappropriately with my 2IC? I wanted to tell you at the cabin Sam I wanted to hold you like I am holding you now. I said you would never be alone and I mean it. This move to Washington will not stop what I feel for you. I look at it as a good move. You see I get to have you and still be affiliated with the Stargate program. That's if you want me?"
I opened my mouth and still my tongue wouldn't cooperate. I must be hearing things. He asked if I wanted him. I never wanted something as much as I wanted him. I could see the fear in his eyes he thinks I'm going to say no.
I cupped his face and kissed him like I always dreamed. He pulled me close and kissed me back. We came up for air and I lean my head onto his shoulder and started to cry.
He's holding me and trying to get me to stop. He says if kissing me was going to bring me to tears then he'd better stock up on tissues or absorbent t-shirts.
I stop crying and tell him what was in my heart.
"I thought I was losing you again. I felt you had betrayed me by accepting this job that you were leaving me behind, I was a fool can you ever forgive me for doubting you? Can you ever love someone like me that thinks too much or thinks she isn't worthy of your love? Jack, after all I've done to almost destroy what we had can you truly say you love me? After all the trouble I've caused you after all of it could you find it in your heart to still love me?"
I pulled back I needed to know.
"Sam you're right, you are a fool. A fool to think I could ever hate you, or that you think yourself not worthy of my love. I fought these feelings I've had for you for years. Through everything all I ever wanted was for you to be happy and even though it killed me to see you find that happiness with someone else I knew I would cope just as long as you were happy. A very wise friend of mine once told me that you couldn't find true happiness until you have experienced deep sorrow. Dad was right I've suffered sorrow but it's my time for happiness and you Sam are my happiness."
I rasped dad and he nodded.
It all fell into place then. I took his hands in mine and said he was my happiness, that I had come to him that day to his house to tell him that I could not marry Pete because I was in love with him. But the heartache of seeing him with Kerry threw me for a loop. I told him I feared I'd lost him to her but he nodded no that he tried to move on that Kerry was the one that had given him the ideal of retiring and that he was going to do it until General Hammond had offered him the job.
I was stunned. Kerry had offered the suggestion of him retiring. Had she seen something we were afraid to admit to each other. I had to remember to send her a thank you card or maybe an invite to the wedding….
He caressed my cheek and ask what was I thinking about and I gave him the smile I only gave to him and said, "Just wondering when we were going to go inside and do what the song says."
He started to pull me towards the door and turned and asked, "Does this mean were going steady?"
I pulled him close and whispered, "oh yeah flyboy steady, together, two hearts beating as one, one love, at last, just you and I for now and always."
He stopped looked up at the sky squeezed my hand and said, "Thanks dad".
I kissed his cheek and looked up and said, "I found my happiness dad thanks."
We saw the stars twinkle and knew we would never be apart and be together always.