Okay. So, I've been having an inordinate amount of trouble with this story. So! Let's try this... AGAIN.

Firstly, this is in second person, he's. But it's in the style of UnderTale itself, with a narrator. So please, unless I'm doing something unforgivably wrong, just read it or don't.

Secondly, reader is female, and 20. Sans is your best friend and G... is so, so not. But, eh.

Thirdly, review you guys! It's my favorite part of this!

And lastly (I think), goes along with the reviewing. I have a general plot for this but very few specifics, so if you guys have a totally genius idea... let's hear it!

Oh! Yeah, there IS one last thing. This is about fifty percent humor and silliness. So. Yeah.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaagh..." You didn't want to get up. It was too earllyyyyyyyyy- With a sigh, you sat up in bed anyway, rubbing a hand down your face and glancing out the still-dark window. Looking back at your alarm clock, you let out another groan.
Maybe staying up watching anime when you knew you were going to be up at five the next morning was a bad idea.

Oh well. Cowboy Bebop was always worth it.

Just as you were pulling your favorite colored graphic tee (featuring your favorite character, of course) over your head, the charging cell phone on the bedstand rang. (It was the Doctor Who theme song. One of the best sci-fi series out there!) Picking
up, you made sure to hold it at least at arm's length away before answering. Papyrus' voice blared out from the speakers, as expected.

"*HELLO GOOD HUMAN FRIEND! ARE YOU READY FOR OUR SUPER SPECIAL, AS-GREAT-AS-ME FISHING TRIP?" A few giggles and a smile at his antics later, you were feeling more awake and ready for the day. "Sure am, Paps. Is Sans coming?" Papyrus snorted so loud it
was audible over the phone. "*THAT LAZYBONES? HE IS STILL NAPPING THE NIGHT AWAY! HONESTLY, WHY ANYONE WOULD SPEND A WHOLE NIGHT ASLEEP-!"

Papyrus never had figured out the whole 'sleeping' thing. Heh. "Okay then, Paps, it's just you and me! I'll be outside in five, can you pick me up?"

"*WOWIE, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! I HAVE BEEN WORRIED SANS WAS A BAD INFLUENCE ON YOU AND THAT MAYBE YOU HAD SLEPT IN." Papyrus hung up and you laughed. Sans WAS a pretty bad influence on you. A small scowl crossed your face, only for an instant. Not like
his big brother. That jerk really was a bad example. You were glad Sans had kept Paps from following in THAT idiot's footsteps.

Anyway.

After double-checking you had all the bait and tackle necessary for stream fishing, you stepped out onto the front porch. It was a pretty morning, if you were into that sort of thing. A little crisp, but that's what fall mornings were supposed to be like.
Soon it would be time to use a jacket... Actually, you amended, rubbing your arms, I probably should have brought one today.

But before you could go back in to grab one, Papyrus rolled up in his fancy red sports car, opening the passenger side door with a huge grin. "*I AM READY TO CAPTURE THE FISHES WITH YOU, HUMAN."

Once you had set everything up and taught Papyrus how to cast, reel, and all the other things required for fishing, you decided to pull a page out of Sans' book... and relaxed under the shade of an oak tree to take a nap. Right on cue, Papyrus shouted
that he'd caught a fish the second you were comfortable. "*...NOW WHAT." With a sigh, you got up to help.

"Alright, now. First, Paps, you reel it in and put on a glove. Then you take it off the hook- like so- and put it in the bucket- like so- and Reba it the hook. Like so. Then you cast again and get more!" The tall skelebro looked uncertain about something.
"*ER... HUMAN FRIEND."

"Yes, Paps?"

"*IS THIS WORM IN PAIN."

You nearly burst out laughing, but managed to hold it in. It was so... so Papyrus to worry about the live bait you two were using. "No, Paps, the worm isn't in pain."

"*WILL IT DROWN?"

"Nope! Worms actually can breathe underwater. Don't worry, I was watching Wild Kratts once and they said that." Papyrus nodded sharply and cast, back to his babbling self. You hadn't even bothered to explain that fishing doesn't work very well if the
fisher is yelling. It would have been pointles, this was Papyrus.

Settling back under your tree, a song on your phone alerted you to a text. Sans!

'hey hows the fishin goin paps being good 4 u'

You scowled, hunching over the screen to type.

'Sans! You KNOW how annoying it is when you do that! Hey.* How's* fishing* going?* for* you?*'

You could just imagine him smirking in his bed as you sent it, the text immediately registering as 'read'. He did it on purpose, but still. Grammar was IMPORTANT.

'I know, I know.' At least he'd done it right this time. 'I just like messin' with ya. Anyway, how IS it going?'

'Fine. Paps asked if the worms were hurt. I told him no. Anyway, what are you going to do today? Before class tonight, anyway.'

It took a while for him to respond. Sans was a professor at the nearby Mt. Ebott College, teaching Quantum Physics, Monster History, and Magic Theory. The night classes, anyway. You took all of them in addition to your English major. You wanted to be
a novelist, and Sans had agreed to help you chronicle Frisk's journeys through the Underground after you graduated.

While Sans was actually your age,and thus pretty young to be a teacher, he was by far the smartest applicant the college had found. So, he got the job and you got a teacher who was already your best friend. But anyway, back to the texting.

'Nah. Just working on my project. Stop by the lab when you bring Paps home, I think I got it to work. You'll like it.'

Oh, his project! Sans had been throwing around this crazy idea for a- in your words- 'Magic Blaster' for humans to use. Mages had gone extinct shortly after the Barrier was put up, because Mages would draw their powers from a monster 'partner'. When the
monsters were banished... well, duh. Anyway, Sans had started the MB so humans could get a taste of what its like to have magic like monsters. He'd promised you the first pair of the small, innocent-looking gloves... so naturally you'd requested
some epic looking fingerless gloves. Because duh.

Now, Sans tended not to trust humans as a rule. (It'd taken you a whole year to get him to consider you more than an annoyance he had to put up with because Paps needed tutoring in English. He would have done it, but everyone knows Sans can't correctly
use grammar to save his life.) He didn't intend to give this extremely powerful weapon to anyone but people he trusted- especially not with the many anti-monster hate groups still hanging around since the memorable day three years ago when Frisk
descended the mountain with her monster friends.

'Cool. I'll see you later, then.'

'K.'

'SANS!'

'Potassium.'

'...'

'What do you want from me, (y/n)? I capitalized it and everything!'

'Go do your science thing, Dweeb. I've got... BIGGER FISH TO FRY.'

'oh my god i love you'

You laughed and set your phone down on the grass, leaving it as you grabbed your own fishing pole and sat cross-legged next to Papyrus. He was dangling his legs in the shallow water- how was he catching fish at all?- and kicking them around
happily. You made sure to sit as far away from the actual stream as possible while still fishing.

"*OH HELLO HUMAN FRIEND! I CAUGHT MORE FISH!" There were five fish in that bucket. It was so impressive there was almost no point in doing it yourself. Still, though, you'd promised the childish skelle you'd fish with him until twelve. It was ten
now, and there were two hours left. "Good job, Papy! Let me try."

Two hours later... you hadn't caught a single brim.

And Paps? Paps had filled thatbucket. "How did you DO that?!" You marveled as the two of you picked everything up. "*DO WHAT?"

"Catch all those fish! You were, like, the loudest thing I've ever heard, and you were splashing in the water, and- and- oh, never mind." You sighed in defeat and put the last thing in the trunk- a can of leftover worms- before sitting back on your
seat in the car. Papyrus had insisted on returning the brim and bass to their stream ("*THEY WILL MISS THIER BROTHERS!") so you were going home empty-handed.

"*Sup, (y/n)?" Sans greeted you as Papyrus dashed up to his room excitedly to pin up pictures he had taken while the two of you were fishing. You focused on the hoodied skelle, smiling. He seemed a little nervous for some reason. "Hey, Shorty. What's
wrong?"

"*Huh? Oh." He visibly- to you, at least- relaxed. The grin became more sincere and he winked roguishly. "*Just troublesome math calcaneus." You frowned for a second before laughing. Calcaneus was one of the bones most people didn't know.
You'd learned a long time ago to memorize all the bones of the human body because, well, you were best friends with a skeleton who loved puns.

"Let me call Paps down here so you can talus all about it!" As you two laughed, a loud moan of anguish and rythmic thudding, like the sound a skull makes when being hit repeatedly against a wall, came from upstairs. You two laughed harder.

"*Heh, heh. Anyway..." That nervous look appeared again, "*Where's your phone?" You pulled it out of your pocket- or... didn't. "Where...? Oh no!" You'd left it at the stream, and you told him such. Sans laughed. "*Hey, don't worry. I'll just grab it."
A second later, he was gone. You wondered, waiting, why he'd acted weird. Maybe something had gone wrong with the Magic Blaster.

"*Back." Which was a pun, of course, as Sans reappeared. He was tapping away on your phone, not even looking at you. Despite that, you could see his grin lift a little higher at you reaction. "SANS! OFF!" Leaping forward to wrest away your
phone from the offending skeleton, you cursed under your breath at his teleporting. "CHEATER! Face me like a man you coward!"

Several minutes of chasing him around the house later, you finally tricked him into staying still just long enough for you to tackle him. You were out of breath when you finally took the phone out of his hands with a triumphant smirk. "You're under a-wrist!
We caught you red-handed... uh... something with long arm of the law." While you had the puns, it kind of puttered (or PUNTERED) out at the end when you couldn't think of how to use the last one.

You saw a blue dusting on his skeletal cheeks as he pushed you off and sat up. That obviously meant he was out of breath."*N-Nice. Tibia honest, and I gotta talus the tooth, that was fun." You both laughed for a bit, and he finally
turned back towards you. He'd gotten his breath back and winked. You made a fake angry face that both of you could see through. "What did you do on my phone, you jerk?"

"*Not much, just... CHANGED ALL YOUR CONTACTS AROUND! MUAHAHAHA!" He laughed overdramatically and even did the hands-grasping-at-air motion with it. Your fun, however, was cut short at the sound of someone scoffing rather loudly from the front
door. Sans' eyes flashed in annoyance as he turned to face his older brother, looking up from your spot on the floor.

"*What do you want, G?"

"*Hello to you, too, Sansy." He looked at you with even more disdain than he had at Sans. (At least he'd been smirking when he made the jab at his brother. With you, he full-on scowled.) "*And I see you have your pet out again."

You didn't like Sans' older brother, and he didn't like you. You two had a long, long history. In fact, Gaster was actually how you had met Sans. The taller skeleton, taller even than Papyrus, was in some of the same classes as you. Now, when you first
learned the 23-year-old jerk was Sans' older brother, and that the 20-year-old Sans was a teacher, you were really confused. But, while Gaster was perhaps even smarter than Sans, he didn't apply himself and Toriel (who had basically adopted Frisk,
the skelebros, and you too) had given him an ultimatum. Either go to college and get a job, or move out... and still get a job.

Gaster was as lazy as Sans, but in a different way, so he agreed to go to school. (He was a freeloader, unlike Sans, who just didn't like work.) That's how you met him; he and his 'Followers' were the worst bullies on campus.

And you, dear reader, werea nerd. (But by no means were you a pushover. You didn't DO 'pushover'.)

Gaster saw you the first day of that semester and pegged you as an easy target; a single nerd, all alone, no friends. So when you walked home on a route that happened to go through an alley, you were met with a smirking, douchebag of a skeleton in your
way. Trying to leave back the way you came revealed you were surrounded by his lackeys, and would have to deal with whatever he threw at you. It went something like...

"*Well hello there~ You lost? Where's your owner, pet?" You had scowled at him, furious. You knew showing a bully you were mad encouraged them, but the idea of anyone owning you... of anyone daring to call you their property with so belittling
a name as 'pet'. It made you want to dust him. (Not for real. You would never.) "You're in my way." You told him as politely as possible, still opting for the peaceful route.

That smug satisfaction on his cracked face, the way his hands were confidently buried in the pockets of his black leather jacket, his purposeful towering over you, the casual arrogance that blanketed the area surrounding him never lessened in the slightest
as he laughed. The smooth, rich voice you knew all the superficial girls fell over themselves for did nothing to change your already forming opinion of this jerk in front of you. "*Aw, c'mon, babe. You can't possibly be a stray. Where's your collar?"
He moved forward as if to check for one.

"Stop right there." You snarled, taking a step back. But it was clear, in your eyes and your voice, you were not retreating out of fear. It was also clear if you felt any more threatened you might actually defend yourself. Gaster took another step
in defiance, but did halt. "*Alright then. What's your name, pet?"

"I'm not telling you my name, you creep! And I am not a pet." You snapped, balling both fists. The monster's smile twitched, but other than that he didn't react to being called 'creep'. Of course not, bullies were always the same. And you had
never been bothered by them before, this was no different. "*You're a human, aren't you? So you must be someone's pet! Humans are so fragile. Breakable. They need a monster to protect them... or else they might get hurt."
He chuckled when he said this, stepping forward yet again. When you moved to get more room, there was a wall.

Oh, how cliché, you thought sarcastically. How will I possibly deal with the shock of being cornered? Gaster outstretched his arm and leaned it against the wall, leaving the other in his pocket. Before, he'd been towering over you. Now, you
couldn't see the streetlight at all, casting you completely in Gaster's shadow. The rest of them had left by now, waved off a few minutes ago when Gaster knew you couldn't run.

He summoned your SOUL. It was the first time you'd ever been in an encounter, and the feeling of absence for the first time made you gasp, staring wide-eyed at the culmination of your being. Gaster chuckled smugly, both at your reaction and at your SOUL.
It glowed brightly, hovering a few inches over the perfectly round hole in his palm. "*Hm. First time?" He asked in a voice that implied other things, smirking shamelessly. "*Oh. Blue and red? With a little purple, too. Very impressive."
You had recovered from the shock of seeing your SOUL and tried to snatch it from the offending jerk. He laughed and moved it up, out of reach, forcing you to try and pull his hand down like a child. "G-give me-!"

"*GASTER!" A furious, even-deeper-than-Gaster's voice yelled from the entrance to the alley. Both of you looked in that direction to see a skeleton maybe an inch taller than you, wearing a blue hoodie. His hands were shoved in the pockets, reminiscent
of Gaster, and their voices were alike. You just knewthey were brothers, it was painfully obvious. "*Oh. Sans." The taller stated boredom, straightening up and away from you. He was still holding your SOUL. "*Gaster, what do you think
you're doing?! Give that human it's SOUL back now."

"*Why should I? I'm the oldest, Sansy, and besides. It's not like you care. Go off and play with that kid." You stood there, uncertain as to what to do, when Gaster was suddenly cloaked in blue... magic?... and yanked backwards. Your SOUL
was also cloaked in blue, but it was gently returned to your hands. For a second you forgot what happened and just stared at it. So... this was you?

You knew there were meanings to the colors, but the news articles had always been rather vague. You wondered what yours meant.

But you put it back into your chest and turned your attention to the monsters. "Um, thank you... Sans, I think?" The blue one barely glanced at you before turning back to his and Gaster's argument.

The next day he walked up to you, apologized for his brother's actions, and asked if there was anything he could do to repay you. It was only three months later you finally took him up on the offer by asking for tutoring. A year later, you'd finally broke
through to the real Sans. He saw you as more than a human. And now, you two were best friends.

Gaster still bullied you- or tried to, at least, because you weren't affected- whenever Sans wasn't around, but usually you would just call him to help out. Thus, he called you 'Sans' little pet'.

With that, we have arrived back to where we began. "*And I see you have your pet out again."

"I am NOT his pet, Gaster." You pretended the 'G' was silent, making his name an insult instead. "Leave us alone." The leather jacketed jerk just snorted and started to walk up the stairs. "*Heh. Whatever. Saw what you did by the river, Sansy."
Derisive laughter echoed for a while after Gaster had slunk into his room. You raised an eyebrow at your friend, but said nothing. Likely the prick had just said that to cause trouble, however small. Besides, you know what he'd done anyway, the messing
with your phone.

"*Er."

"Chill, Sans. It's fine." You unlocked it and looked around. The only thing different (besides the contacts having been changed)was that while it said you had a new message from Sans, but there wasn't one. Oh, and along with the one you hadn't read
that he clearly deleted, so was the last one you had read. But you shrugged. He did that sometimes for no reason, usually teasing about revealing some big secret. You grinned and he returned it. "*Not much. Want a ride to MEC? I know it's a few hours
till class, but we could grab Grillby's on the way."

You grin widened. "Sans, that's a brilliant idea."

Gaster leaned against the window sill, arms crossed as he watched the two of them walk outside. Once Sans had teleported away, with her in tow, he snorted derisivelyand rolled his eyes, sittingat his desk to draw some more, both technical
diagrams for his secret project and more impractical sketches of monsters and humans he'd seen throughout the day to get ideas for the graphic novel he was making as his semester project. A sketch of Sans and Papyrus was pinned on the wall, one of
his best.

Even if Gaster wasn't too fond of his first youngest brother, it was still a good drawing. And the one of her and Sans at Grillby's just made him angry, yet he couldn't bring himself to throw it away. He had just been having fun, that night
in the alley. Gaster's idiot kid brother had no right to boss him around as if their roles were switched.

And now, the only human who wasn't scared of him he saw almost daily. FAN-bloody-TASTIC.

Gaster did smirk for a second, though, looking down at the picture he'd snapped of her phone's screen earlier, while Sans was deleting the texts he'd sent.


'oh my god I love you'

'...hey... uh, I mean that by the way...'

Heh. His poor baby brother. Loser.

Wimp. Too cowardly to tell her himself.