I don't own the Power Rangers, I'm just f*****g with them.

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Author note: Hey guys, TG here. Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, been having some personal issues that kept me from writing. Not sure when I'm going to have FFF up and running again but in the meantime I offer you this little gift. It's a comedy piece inspired by a similar piece I saw in the Twilight forum. I threw in a few Easter eggs from other universes for the hopelessly geeky. Hope you enjoy!

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Rocky leaned over Tommy's shoulder anxiously and began bouncing up and down.

"Stop that or I'll pummel you," Tommy said without looking up from the X-box system set up in front of the one couch in the room. He had the controller clutched between both hands.

"You've been on there for an hour," Rocky whined. "I want a turn."

"Forget it," the Green/White/Red/Black Ranger said. "You had it all day while I was out doing a story. I still have to master the petrify spell and then beat the three headed dog."

"I hated that dog," Adam said from the small round card table at the end of the room. Jason, Aisha and Trini all sat at the table playing Gin Rummy. Zack was in the kitchen picking through the bare cabinets for a snack. Adam picked up a card that was dealt to him by Aisha then discarded one to the center. "It took me two hours to put him to sleep."

"Awww," Rocky whined again. "Everyone's beaten the game but me. I've been trying for two months and haven't gotten to beat Voldemort once. It's not fair." He reached over and made a snatch at the game controller in Tommy's hands.

Tommy moved out of the way and pushed the Red/Blue Ranger aside. "I'll tell you what's not fair," he said. "Spending the whole day in an m/m slash while you're friends get to sit back and watch TV. That's what's not fair."

"Hey, it wasn't that bad," Jason called from his place at the card table. "Just because you're not comfortable with your sexuality doesn't make me the bad guy."

"Shut up," Tommy said leaning over to emphasize the needed movements in the game. It didn't help and the music of defeat sounded as poor Harry was nearly eaten by Fluffy.

"Goddammit!" Tommy screamed and threw the controller at the television.

"Well, we know who the male dominate was in that story," Rocky said quietly.

Tommy jumped to his feet and turned on him. "Come over here and say that!"

Rocky was on his feet too. "Maybe I will!"

"Guys come on!" Aisha called from the card table. "We could have a long way to go before we get to leave again.

"Shut up, Aisha," Tommy said. "I've had enough of this whiny loser."

"Freak!" Rocky shouted and sucker punched Tommy square in the nose. Tommy reeled back for a moment, checked to see if he was bleeding, which he wasn't, and then the fight was on. He charged Rocky with all his strength and sent him reeling back into the wall.

With a tremendous crash Rocky fell against a table full of glass beakers and Petri dishes.

Billy had jumped up from his makeshift lab table when Rocky crashed into it and was now standing over the Red/Blue Ranger with a look of pure distain. On top of his head were a heavy silver framed pair of glasses and a lighter wire framed pair. He was also wearing contacts because you never knew which version of Billy would be called for.

"Thanks a lot you two," the former Blue Ranger said. "You've completely ruined my experiment. It took me months to work out those formulas."

Rocky made his way to his feet and started to protest but his words were choked on the completely acrid stench coming from the ruined lab chemicals. "Oh, God, what is that?"

Slowly everyone began making faces as the stench filled the room. It would take hours for it to filter out due to the lack of ventilation in here.

"Geez, Billy," Tommy said. "Can't you formulate something that smells good, like a cheeseburger, or chocolate?"

"How about I formulate my foot up your ass?" Billy shouted.

"Bring it on, Nerd-boy!"

Billy charged, hitting Tommy in the stomach with his shoulder. The two reeled over and landed on the coffee table, which tilted and sent them both sprawling to the floor right on top of the X-Box.

"Hey, watch it!" Rocky screamed, and then he was on top of the waylay too.

Tommy kicked and punched with all his might trying to claw his way out from under his teammate's weight. Then they heard a loud pop and suddenly there was someone else in the room.

Everyone turned to see Kimberly standing on the drab carpet, hugging her arms to her chest and shivering.

Tommy jumped up and ran to her side. "Kim, what happened?"

"Vampires," she breathed. "Lots of sexy vampires."

Tommy pulled her close. "Oh, did that dumb Angel lot mess with you again?"

"No," Kim said. "It was the other ones. The Cullens."

Everyone froze. You could hear a pin drop because no one dared breathe. They'd all heard about this new race of Pop Culture Vampires, but so far they hadn't actually seen them.

"You saw them?" Billy finally asked, his curiosity overcoming the shock first. "What did they look like?"

Then everyone was on Kim with questions.

"Do they really drink animal blood?"

"How fast did they run?"

"How sexy are they?"

This question came from Rocky which earned him a swat over the head from Aisha.

Kim moved to the couch and sat down, Tommy sat next to her and kept his arm protectively around hershoulders. Billy moved to sit on Kim's other side, ignoring the glares from Tommy's side of the couch.

"I saw three of them," Kim said. "They said they were brothers, but they didn't look anything alike. It was so confusing."

Tommy quickly pulled Kimberly's face into his chest. "Poor Kimmy. It's okay, I'm here now."

Billy reached over and touched Kim's arm. "Are you really okay? Maybe I should-"

"You've done enough, Brain-fry," Tommy snapped at him. "It's not like you don't get enough time with her thanks to the new blue/pink slash craze."

Billy glared from under the glasses. "Whatever," he said jumping up.

The Blue Ranger crossed the room to the far corner where Kat was sitting cross-legged on the floor swirling paint on a large canvas. He sat down behind her and slowly threaded his arms around her waist. The Pink/Pink Ranger didn't even pause but continued her ministrations. Billy simply sat and watched as her brush twisted and swirled red, black, blue, green, pink and yellow across the fabric in a violent whirlpool of imagination.

Everyone was quiet for awhile, Tommy and Kim making out on the couch, Trini, Jason, Zack, Adam and Aisha playing cards, and Billy and Kat in the far corner doing…..well, honestly, no one really wanted to know….

After a few moments a new sounds entered the quiet room. The cheerful plunking of cheesy video game music.

"God! Do you have to do that now?" Tommy screamed, breaking his embrace with Kimberly.

Rocky paused the game and turned from where he was sitting cross-legged in front of the TV. "What? You weren't using it anymore."

"That doesn't mean you can just use it whenever you want. Maybe some of us want quiet."

"It's not that loud," Rocky said, and turned back to the bouncing wizard on the screen.

But he didn't get very far because the next thing he knew the Green/White/Red/Black Ranger had grabbed the back of his shirt and hauled him to his feet. Before he could even react, the Red/Blue Ranger found himself hurled face first into the cheap plastic wall. When the stars cleared he was face up starring up at a dent in the plastic the size of his head, and a very red-faced ranger.

Rocky braced himself for another blow, but didn't have to worry, there was a streak of movement and Tommy went flying into the wall a few feet away.

Jason stood over the former leader, his face the color of his first uniform. "I'm so sick of your childish, self-centered behavior. What the hell gives you the right to be king asshole."

"Jason, leave him alone," Kimberly suddenly yelled. Then she jumped from the couch onto the Red/Gold Ranger's back, slinging one arm around his neck in a choke hold and taking a chunk of his hair with the other.

The Red/Gold Ranger spewed out a string of cuss words that would definitely cause this story to be flagged, and spun helplessly trying to throw the gymnast ranger off his back. Aisha started screaming, and the card table was tipped over as the other rangers rushed in. In the may lay Tommy got to his feet and sucker punched Jason in the gut, sending him to the ground. Rocky rushed in and tackled Tommy, the two of them rolling into the corner and knocking into Kat and Billy. Billy stood up, narrowly avoiding the mess and sighed.

"Here we go again," he said before jumping into the mess at just the right angle to drive his elbow into Tommy's side.

Meanwhile, Jason had somehow gotten free of Kimberly and was running to find Tommy. Tommy hit his feet at the same time, but because of the cracked rib from Billy he didn't see Jason coming until it was too late. The larger man crashed into him and they both flew into the cheap vinyl. Rocky and Billy followed suite and tackled both boys. The wall gave out under their combined weight and fell back into the next room.

"And what the hell do you think you're doing?"

All four boys looked up to see a large gentleman in a black and red uniform. He had a pin on his chest that reminded them of the Acura insignia and his bald head was well polished and nearly glowing under the fluorescent lights.

"Jean-Luc, what happened? Are you okay?" A woman's voice said. She appeared behind him wearing a uniform of similar cut, but with the red across her shoulder only, instead of across her chest as Jean-Luc had. The next thing the boys knew, they were surrounded by oddly uniformed people. There were easily ten times the amount of people in this room as in theirs.

"I'm fine," the man addressed as Jean-Luc said in a clipped British accent. "These boys seem to be having a bit of trouble with their decorum."

Very slowly the boys all got to their feet. They were struck speechless, each for their own reasons. Finally Tommy found his voice first. "Um, sorry, just a little disagreement. We'll be going now."

"I would think you should," said another voice. They boys turned and saw a man in a blue shirt, that was very different from the others as the color was all over instead of just on the shoulders or chest. He was tall with dark hair and distinctly pointy ears.

Rocky pointed at him and asked. "Hey, aren't you that evil guy from Heroes?"

The dark haired man's eyes went wide for a fraction of a second, then back to stern as he inhaled sharply. "I have no comment on the matter."

He then turned on heel and marched through the crowd. Jason and Tommy had found a good grip on the wall by this point and they pulled it up, once again separating the rooms.

"Wow," Tommy said. "That was weird."

"Did you see their uniforms?" Kimberly said. "Totally unflattering. And that woman was in serious need of highlights and a mascara tutorial."

Everyone just shook their heads. Then Tommy clapped Rocky on the shoulder. "C'mon dude. I'll show you the trick to beating Fluffy."

The Red/Blue Ranger's face broke out in a smile. "Awesome!"

The boys all laughed and sat down in front of the TV. Aisha and Kat picked up the card table while Kimberly dug in the cabinet for her makeup kit. Soon the room was filled with the boys cheering as they took turns shouting spells at Voldemort, and the girls gabbing about all the cute crossover guys they hoped they'd get paired with, while giving each other manicures.

~Fin

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As always, all reviews, comments, feedback and anything else is welcome. I look forward to it actually. Hope you enjoyed!