Disclaimer: All characters and content belong to Xenogears. I only made up the interview and interactions.
Behind the Hero
An Interview with Fei Fong Wong
Classical music plays in the background and the camera moves towards a stark female sipping some wine. She sits up and clears her throat
She speaks up. "Ahem, Good day friends and welcome to Behind the Hero. This show, we interviewed fellow characters of an enigma even Sigmund Freud would like to have dinner with. No, he is not Albedo but he is an aspiring hero with memory problems. I Ely better yet call me Eris; will proudly and hopefully get some dirt on Fei Fong Wong..."
"Hello Dr. Citan Uzuki." She said.
Citan sits up. "Hey, what brings you here today?"
Eris looks at him suspiciously. "I have come to do a special report on Fei. Care to share your experiences with him?"
"Oh" Citan looks around then fixes his glasses.
"Well I always have to look out for him. I mean who knows what he'll do if he is left alone unsupervised." Citan explains.
Eris' eyebrow rises. "So you mean to say he's a child?"
"No, not like that, he's more of getting in trouble. He could've done something better like paint some pictures or take his prescription of Ritalin! That boy never listens sometimes." Citan nods for a few seconds. Citan keeps on talking for 4 hours and never stops rambling. Eris gets tired and gets off her seat.
Eris backs away and meets up with Elly
Eris calls out. "Hey Elly! Care to tell the viewers on your thoughts about Fei?"
Elly lookst at her with a weird look to her face. "Sure! Um...what kind of thoughts?"
"Well what were your first impressions of him?" Eris asked.
Elly thinks for a second. "Fei was acting fresh on me since the day we met. He was jacking off while I was pointing a gun at him ready to shoot him..."
FLASHBACK!!!!
Elly looks at Fei ready to kill him. "Got a question for you...How the hell do I get out of this dump?" Fei laughs and leers at Elly's body. "Wanna see my slong?"
"Just answer my question damnit!" She yelled. He looked down "Sorry, I was looking for a way out, too."
"Damn..." Elly sighs and looks down till she hears a slight moaning sound.
"How long are you gonna stand there? Hurry up! I wanna die a happy man!" He yelled.
Elly becomes disgusted with what Fei is doing but somehow likes it. "What an odd thing to say...why are you jacking off?
Fei struggles to talk to her. "Can't help it...it's the only was to get rid of my frustrations...just shoot me while I reach my max..".
FLASHFORWARD
"Wait...did I said that?" He asked. Eris looked at him. "Uh yea according to what Elly said."
Fei asked innocently. "Really? They filmed me? ...so what I'm doing here?"
Eris proudly stands up and greets him. "I am Eris and I am doing a show on you. I want to give the fans an idea about your thoughts and experiences."
"Eris?" he asked. "Are you the goddess of chaos and discord? You're pretty cool in my book".
A sweat drop runs down her head. "Uh no I'm not. You're referring to Eros."
Fei smiles. "Eros eh? Is she hot or what?" He stares at her. Eris stares back and an awkward silences ensues. 5 minutes later...
"So Eros, how do you get your powers?" He asked.
In a rage she gets up. "ARGH!!!" She grabs a gun a points at him. "One more Eros thing and I will surely bring chaos and discord to your physical and mental state. And I mean it!" Fire appears behind her.
Fei stares blankly. "What did I say again?"
Eris shoots Fei. Fei dies from the wound. " ...DAMNIT!!" She yelled.
Camera moves to Bart's Lair. There Eris is besides Bart wishing nothing bad happens.
Eris sighs. "Now that I am on restraining order. I am happy not to be near him again...hopefully. Anyways here I am with Bart Fatima, king of pirates!"
"Not king." Bart replied.
Eris kept on talking. "Whatever..so, you and Fei have gone through tight spots. How did your friendship grow from a misunderstanding?"
Bart thinks back proudly about the misadventures of Fei. "Well as I like to call it, it was all Fei's fault."
Intruiged she listens. "Hm yes go on".
Bart continues. "Well he kept saying that he can beat the crap out of me and made fun of my accessory!"
"The feather on your gear?" she asked. Bart stands up. "Not that...it's my whip!" Confused she asked. "Why?" Bart looks at Eris and whispers to her ear. "You know...the way he looked at my weapon...it showed that he is making fun of it...not to mention he snuck up on my room..." He shifts his eye.
Skeptic, Eris pretends to believe him. " And how'd you know about this?"
Bart replies. "I just do, I have hidden cameras that tell me who went into my room." He then smiles evily. Eris is suspicious and then asks. "And how many hidden cameras you have?"
Bart laughs and answers. "Just that and the ladies room...er whoops." He notices what he said and casts an attack on the camera. "WILD ARMS!!" The camera fizzles and melts.
"Ack! Don't you know how much the camera costs?" Eris gets mad at him. Bart comes up with a strange remark. "Nope but you'll know how much you're worth!" Bart steals a kiss from Eris and runs off giggling like a school girl.
"What the?" Eris asked in a confused look. Bart's giggling fades away. "Damn you Bart...I will get you!" She yelled at him.
New camera moves to Citan's home. Eris calmly asks. "So hopefully you are done?"
Citan rubs his head. "Yes I am but I am not sure how I received a bump on my head."
"Oh I'm sure it's nothing..." She kindly says. Behind her back is a broken baseball bat.
"Care to tell me about anything else?" She asks.
Citan tries to think. "Nope. Not today, I have this splitting headache..." A loud thump is heard, a man steps in and screams Fei's name in pain. "FEIIIIIIIIIIIIIII FEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!"
Eris speaks out. "We can hear you sir huh?" Man reveals himself as Ramsus. Eris falls for him.
Ramsus step in and asks in a stern voice. "Where is Fei?"
"I'm afraid I took care of him if you know what I mean." She say. Eris winks at him and blows a kiss.
Ramsus sits down. "So is he sick?" He then stands up. "That is great news! I can kill him!!!"
Eris laughed slightly and play swith her hair. "Er no, I killed him." Ramsus pauses for a moment. "EVEN BETTER!!"
Nervously she asks. "So mind going on a date with me?" Ramsus gets confused to what she said. "Huh? Yea? Uh What?" Eris changes subject before he gets a chance to think. "I mean what do you think of Fei?"
"Fei? Hahahahaha!" Ramsus exclaims. "You want me to talk about him!? Don't make me laugh, I despise him since the day I was created...and yet he's so sexy. I ENVY HIM!!!"
Eris stares into his yellow eyes. "You're sexy to me..."
Out of nowhere a voice speaks out. "Who's sexy? Eros!! Come back here!" Horrified by the familiar voice. "Damnit!!! How did you survive?" Fei walks in. "I swear I heard Ramsus calling Eros sexy so I brought some chocolates and a severed deus to make Eros happy."
Frustrated she yells at Fei. "I told you I am Eris NOT Eros!!" Fei didn't listen. "Eros it is! Please sign an autograph on Elly's boobs!"
Ramsus becomes confused and aggrivated. "I thought you took care of him? How did he do it?"
She gets a thought and angrily cries out. "DAMN YOU ZOHAR!!!!!"
Meanwhile...
Har is with Krelian and speaks. "So I told Fei that he can get back to earth." Unaware of what Har has done Krelian asks. "Exactly what did he do when he came here?" Har shudders at the thought. "Ugh you don't need to know..."
Krelian shudders as well. " I know how you feel..." Har agrees. "Yea, brought him back to life and set him back to where he belongs."
Concerned, Krelian says. "I hope she doesn't kill him again."
Har replies. "Nah I have the perfect plan. Every time he dies, he hops into a seraph and makes it start dancing disco. Even worse he makes it sing."
Krelian then answers. " Ugh!You're telling me LOOK WHAT HE DID TO MY WELS!!"
Anyways back to the show....
Trying to get away from Fei, Eris says. "This is Eris reporting. And I am out!"
Fei steadily walks towards her. "Oh Eros..." Eris gets scared at him. "Oh no! C'mon!" She grabs Ramsus and runs away from Fei. Ramsus follows after her. "I have a feeling something or someone is involved with this..."
Eris snapped at Ramsus. "Just shut up and run!" Fei runs after them and sends dancing Seraphs and Gears singing DDR songs.
END!
On the next Behind the Hero, we visit Shion and her obliviousness.
"So about Allen..." Eris waits for Shion's answers. Shion looks over with a familiar blank stare. "About what?" Shion asked. Eris slaps her forehead and sulks. "I hate my job..."
Behind the Hero
An Interview with Fei Fong Wong
Classical music plays in the background and the camera moves towards a stark female sipping some wine. She sits up and clears her throat
She speaks up. "Ahem, Good day friends and welcome to Behind the Hero. This show, we interviewed fellow characters of an enigma even Sigmund Freud would like to have dinner with. No, he is not Albedo but he is an aspiring hero with memory problems. I Ely better yet call me Eris; will proudly and hopefully get some dirt on Fei Fong Wong..."
"Hello Dr. Citan Uzuki." She said.
Citan sits up. "Hey, what brings you here today?"
Eris looks at him suspiciously. "I have come to do a special report on Fei. Care to share your experiences with him?"
"Oh" Citan looks around then fixes his glasses.
"Well I always have to look out for him. I mean who knows what he'll do if he is left alone unsupervised." Citan explains.
Eris' eyebrow rises. "So you mean to say he's a child?"
"No, not like that, he's more of getting in trouble. He could've done something better like paint some pictures or take his prescription of Ritalin! That boy never listens sometimes." Citan nods for a few seconds. Citan keeps on talking for 4 hours and never stops rambling. Eris gets tired and gets off her seat.
Eris backs away and meets up with Elly
Eris calls out. "Hey Elly! Care to tell the viewers on your thoughts about Fei?"
Elly lookst at her with a weird look to her face. "Sure! Um...what kind of thoughts?"
"Well what were your first impressions of him?" Eris asked.
Elly thinks for a second. "Fei was acting fresh on me since the day we met. He was jacking off while I was pointing a gun at him ready to shoot him..."
FLASHBACK!!!!
Elly looks at Fei ready to kill him. "Got a question for you...How the hell do I get out of this dump?" Fei laughs and leers at Elly's body. "Wanna see my slong?"
"Just answer my question damnit!" She yelled. He looked down "Sorry, I was looking for a way out, too."
"Damn..." Elly sighs and looks down till she hears a slight moaning sound.
"How long are you gonna stand there? Hurry up! I wanna die a happy man!" He yelled.
Elly becomes disgusted with what Fei is doing but somehow likes it. "What an odd thing to say...why are you jacking off?
Fei struggles to talk to her. "Can't help it...it's the only was to get rid of my frustrations...just shoot me while I reach my max..".
FLASHFORWARD
"Wait...did I said that?" He asked. Eris looked at him. "Uh yea according to what Elly said."
Fei asked innocently. "Really? They filmed me? ...so what I'm doing here?"
Eris proudly stands up and greets him. "I am Eris and I am doing a show on you. I want to give the fans an idea about your thoughts and experiences."
"Eris?" he asked. "Are you the goddess of chaos and discord? You're pretty cool in my book".
A sweat drop runs down her head. "Uh no I'm not. You're referring to Eros."
Fei smiles. "Eros eh? Is she hot or what?" He stares at her. Eris stares back and an awkward silences ensues. 5 minutes later...
"So Eros, how do you get your powers?" He asked.
In a rage she gets up. "ARGH!!!" She grabs a gun a points at him. "One more Eros thing and I will surely bring chaos and discord to your physical and mental state. And I mean it!" Fire appears behind her.
Fei stares blankly. "What did I say again?"
Eris shoots Fei. Fei dies from the wound. " ...DAMNIT!!" She yelled.
Camera moves to Bart's Lair. There Eris is besides Bart wishing nothing bad happens.
Eris sighs. "Now that I am on restraining order. I am happy not to be near him again...hopefully. Anyways here I am with Bart Fatima, king of pirates!"
"Not king." Bart replied.
Eris kept on talking. "Whatever..so, you and Fei have gone through tight spots. How did your friendship grow from a misunderstanding?"
Bart thinks back proudly about the misadventures of Fei. "Well as I like to call it, it was all Fei's fault."
Intruiged she listens. "Hm yes go on".
Bart continues. "Well he kept saying that he can beat the crap out of me and made fun of my accessory!"
"The feather on your gear?" she asked. Bart stands up. "Not that...it's my whip!" Confused she asked. "Why?" Bart looks at Eris and whispers to her ear. "You know...the way he looked at my weapon...it showed that he is making fun of it...not to mention he snuck up on my room..." He shifts his eye.
Skeptic, Eris pretends to believe him. " And how'd you know about this?"
Bart replies. "I just do, I have hidden cameras that tell me who went into my room." He then smiles evily. Eris is suspicious and then asks. "And how many hidden cameras you have?"
Bart laughs and answers. "Just that and the ladies room...er whoops." He notices what he said and casts an attack on the camera. "WILD ARMS!!" The camera fizzles and melts.
"Ack! Don't you know how much the camera costs?" Eris gets mad at him. Bart comes up with a strange remark. "Nope but you'll know how much you're worth!" Bart steals a kiss from Eris and runs off giggling like a school girl.
"What the?" Eris asked in a confused look. Bart's giggling fades away. "Damn you Bart...I will get you!" She yelled at him.
New camera moves to Citan's home. Eris calmly asks. "So hopefully you are done?"
Citan rubs his head. "Yes I am but I am not sure how I received a bump on my head."
"Oh I'm sure it's nothing..." She kindly says. Behind her back is a broken baseball bat.
"Care to tell me about anything else?" She asks.
Citan tries to think. "Nope. Not today, I have this splitting headache..." A loud thump is heard, a man steps in and screams Fei's name in pain. "FEIIIIIIIIIIIIIII FEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!"
Eris speaks out. "We can hear you sir huh?" Man reveals himself as Ramsus. Eris falls for him.
Ramsus step in and asks in a stern voice. "Where is Fei?"
"I'm afraid I took care of him if you know what I mean." She say. Eris winks at him and blows a kiss.
Ramsus sits down. "So is he sick?" He then stands up. "That is great news! I can kill him!!!"
Eris laughed slightly and play swith her hair. "Er no, I killed him." Ramsus pauses for a moment. "EVEN BETTER!!"
Nervously she asks. "So mind going on a date with me?" Ramsus gets confused to what she said. "Huh? Yea? Uh What?" Eris changes subject before he gets a chance to think. "I mean what do you think of Fei?"
"Fei? Hahahahaha!" Ramsus exclaims. "You want me to talk about him!? Don't make me laugh, I despise him since the day I was created...and yet he's so sexy. I ENVY HIM!!!"
Eris stares into his yellow eyes. "You're sexy to me..."
Out of nowhere a voice speaks out. "Who's sexy? Eros!! Come back here!" Horrified by the familiar voice. "Damnit!!! How did you survive?" Fei walks in. "I swear I heard Ramsus calling Eros sexy so I brought some chocolates and a severed deus to make Eros happy."
Frustrated she yells at Fei. "I told you I am Eris NOT Eros!!" Fei didn't listen. "Eros it is! Please sign an autograph on Elly's boobs!"
Ramsus becomes confused and aggrivated. "I thought you took care of him? How did he do it?"
She gets a thought and angrily cries out. "DAMN YOU ZOHAR!!!!!"
Meanwhile...
Har is with Krelian and speaks. "So I told Fei that he can get back to earth." Unaware of what Har has done Krelian asks. "Exactly what did he do when he came here?" Har shudders at the thought. "Ugh you don't need to know..."
Krelian shudders as well. " I know how you feel..." Har agrees. "Yea, brought him back to life and set him back to where he belongs."
Concerned, Krelian says. "I hope she doesn't kill him again."
Har replies. "Nah I have the perfect plan. Every time he dies, he hops into a seraph and makes it start dancing disco. Even worse he makes it sing."
Krelian then answers. " Ugh!You're telling me LOOK WHAT HE DID TO MY WELS!!"
Anyways back to the show....
Trying to get away from Fei, Eris says. "This is Eris reporting. And I am out!"
Fei steadily walks towards her. "Oh Eros..." Eris gets scared at him. "Oh no! C'mon!" She grabs Ramsus and runs away from Fei. Ramsus follows after her. "I have a feeling something or someone is involved with this..."
Eris snapped at Ramsus. "Just shut up and run!" Fei runs after them and sends dancing Seraphs and Gears singing DDR songs.
END!
On the next Behind the Hero, we visit Shion and her obliviousness.
"So about Allen..." Eris waits for Shion's answers. Shion looks over with a familiar blank stare. "About what?" Shion asked. Eris slaps her forehead and sulks. "I hate my job..."