Title: The Seven Deadly Sins of the Dark Swan
Author: Steph aka CaptainSwanLuver
Rating: PG
Pairing: Killian/Emma
Characters: Killian, Emma, David, Mary Margaret, Zelena
Category: Drama/Romance
Disclaimer: I do this out of a love for this couple. No infringement is intended.
Spoilers: Not really, just some references to what Emma looks like as the Dark Swan from the preview released.
Summary: Emma has transformed into the Dark Swan and, upon her return to Storybrooke, finds herself indulging in the seven deadly sins. Killian, along with her family, must deal with the woman she has become, while trying to save her from herself.
Note: So I still have no clue how the show will approach the Dark Swan and all of the spoiler pics are only further confusing me. But this popped into my head and I thought it would be interesting to tackle. For those reading "Accidentally in Love", the next part will be out tomorrow. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy it! -Steph
…The Seven Deadly Sins of the Dark Swan: Part 1/1...
~Greed: an overwhelming desire to have more of something than is actually needed~
Power. Everyone craves it in one way or another. Before becoming the Dark Swan, Emma had been slow to accept her powers. It was certainly nothing she craved, but she came to understand how her magic could be used for good.
Now, darkness had consumed her and power was something she hungered for, something she couldn't get enough of.
There was only one problem. She didn't have the dagger. Without the dagger, she could never be fully in control. Whoever has the dagger controls the Dark One. Emma wouldn't let anyone control her, not anymore. So, her first mission upon returning to Storybrooke was to gain possession of the dagger.
No one knew she was back yet. She had made sure of that. Emma had learned that her parents had taken possession of the dagger when she vanished, but Killian had recently stolen it from them. She was certain he would use it to summon her, but that had not yet happened.
One advantage of being the Dark One was the ability to appear wherever she wanted. Emma made herself materialize on the Jolly Roger and quickly entered the captain's quarters below. She thought he would hide the dagger on his ship, but she also considered that might be too obvious.
She was so engrossed in her search that she didn't hear him descend the ladder.
"Emma?" came his shocked voice from behind her.
She closed the drawer in the desk she had been searching. His voice. She'd always loved his voice and she'd missed hearing it. Her heart may have gone dark, but her love for Killian still burned brightly within her.
She slowly turned around to face him, her heart beating faster at the sight of him.
"Hello, Killian," she said.
His mouth dropped open at the sight of her. Her blonde hair was white and her eyebrows looked as if they'd been bleached. Her skin sparkled as if she had applied glitter spray.
"You look so…different," he said softly.
She walked towards him, coming so close she could smell the saltiness of his skin. She wanted to taste him.
Her eyes scanned his face. "I've missed you," she whispered.
Killian licked at his lips. "And I you, love." He paused and asked, "Where the devil have you been?"
She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. I'm here now."
He opened his mouth to reply, but she cut him off by grabbing his collar and tugging him toward her. Their lips crashed together. She shoved her tongue into his mouth before he could even react and then abruptly pulled back.
Killian's tongue darted out to taste her on his lips.
He took a deep breath before beginning. "Emma, are you okay? I was so worried about you. We all were. "
Emma shrugged. "Don't I seem fine to you?"
Killian shook his head. "No, love, you don't."
Emma batted her eyelashes at him and bit on her lower lip to produce sudden tears. She knew she had power over him. His love and desire for her was so deep she knew she could use it to her advantage. His need to protect her and save her was so great that she was certain she could use it to manipulate him.
She forced a tear from her eye, as her voice trembled. "I'm scared, Killian. Scared of who I've become."
Killian brought his hand up to her cheek, his thumb stroking her jaw. "Hey, you're still the same woman inside, Emma. I'm going to do everything I can to rid you of the darkness. You have to believe that."
"I do."
"But you must promise me you will fight like hell to hold on, fight the urges within you."
"I promise."
Killian pulled her into his arms. Emma allowed herself to enjoy the feel of his touch again. She knew she should feel guilty for manipulating him, but she didn't. One advantage of being dark was lack of guilt. It freed her to do as she pleased without fear of consequence or remorse.
They pulled back and Emma smiled gently at him. "I need you to help me, Killian."
"Anything, love."
"While I was gone, I found Merlin."
Killian's eyebrows raised in surprise. "You did?"
She nodded. "Yes. He told me how to rid myself of the darkness."
Killian's eyes brightened with excitement. "What did he tell you?"
"Well, I need to bring him the dagger."
Killian's expression hardened. "We'll go together."
She shook her head. "No, he was adamant I must come alone."
"Emma."
"I know you have it, Killian," she said, trying to keep the edge out of her voice. "I thought you'd summon me with it."
Killian shook his head, his lips curling into a smile. "I was certain you'd come looking for it, which is why I stole it. I wanted you to come to me."
Emma brought her hand up to finger the collar of his jacket and fluttered her eyelashes flirtatiously. "And here I am."
Killian's eyes narrowed at her, his jaw tightening. "Aye, that you are. And you're using everything in your power to manipulate me into giving you the dagger or revealing its hiding place."
Emma's eyes widened and she stepped back from him. "How did you know?"
Killian smiled sadly. "You forget I had many dealings with the Dark One for nearly 300 years. I know how the Dark One operates. I saw how Rumple manipulated the ones he loved. He preyed on their feelings for him. He took advantage of that. I spent years learning everything I could so I could defeat the Dark One." He paused. "I just never thought I'd have to use that knowledge on the woman I love."
"I still love you, Killian. That hasn't changed. That's not a lie and it's not manipulation," she replied softly.
"I know, Emma. There's something inside of you now that you can't control. But the dagger won't solve anything. In fact, it will only make things worse. Rumple's quest for power and the dagger nearly cost him everyone he loved."
"I need it," she said sharply.
"I'm sorry, love, but I can't give it to you."
"Killian, please don't make me hurt you," she said, her eyes now filled with genuine tears.
"You would never hurt me, Emma," he replied.
"You don't know that," she said softly.
"I do. I know it without a doubt," Killian responded firmly.
Emma shook her head at him, before raising her hands up at him and freezing him to his spot. He was right. She could never hurt him, but she also wouldn't let him stand in the way of getting what she wanted.
She stepped forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. "I'm sorry, Killian."
She resumed her search of his quarters, but soon grew frustrated. She bit at her lower lip thoughtfully, then suddenly remembered something. He had once shown her a loose floorboard behind the ladder. He had used it to hide treasure. She moved to the ladder and knelt down. She snaked her hand behind it and pounded her fist down on the floorboards. One popped up and a smirk curled her lips. She dropped her hand inside and grasped an object. She pulled it out and saw that it was wrapped in a handkerchief. Slowly, she unwrapped it and then grinned when it revealed the dagger.
Emma stood and slipped the dagger into her boot. She then walked back to Killian and brought her hand up to caress his cheek.
"I love you," she said to his stone still figure.
She pressed a kiss to his cheek and then climbed up the ladder. Once she was off the ship, she waved her hand at it and Killian became unfrozen.
…
~Lust: an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body~
She'd wanted him since the moment she laid eyes on him. And when his mouth tied the scarf around her injured hand, she wondered what else those talented lips of his could do. When his lips finally met hers in Neverland, she felt some of her pent up desire for him being released, but it wasn't enough. It was never enough. She needed him like she needed her next breath.
But she had denied herself. Emma wanted to take things slow. She was scared of getting her heart broken again. Those days were over now. Being dark had its advantages. She felt a freedom she had never experienced before. She was done letting her fears control her and denying what she wanted.
And what she wanted was Killian Jones.
She smiled as she poofed herself onto the Jolly Roger. Quietly, she made her way down the ladder into the captain's quarters again. She paused for a moment at the foot of his bed, watching him sleep. Slowly, she climbed onto the bed and crawled towards him. He turned onto his back, but didn't waken. She moved up his body until she was straddling his hips.
His eyes flew open then, his pupils blown wide.
"Emma?" he breathed.
"Hello, Killian," she purred, bringing her thumb up to brush across his lower lip.
Killian felt his heart begin to speed up. "What in bloody hell are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing?" she asked, as she brought her lips down to his neck and started to suck. "I want you," she whispered against his skin.
Killian squeezed his eyes closed and took in a breath. God, he wanted her. He'd wanted her for so long, but not like this. Not when she wasn't herself, not when she wasn't fully in control of her actions.
"Emma," he said, bringing his hand to her face so she looked at him. "We can't do this."
Emma nostrils flared and her eyes flashed with anger. "Don't you want me, Killian?"
He licked at his lips and nodded. "Aye, of course I do, love. You have no bloody idea how much I want you, Emma. I've wanted you since the moment we met."
Emma's lips curled into a grin. "Good, then I don't see the problem. We both want the same thing."
She crashed her lips into his, her tongue diving into his mouth and her fingers gripping his hair so hard it hurt. She moved her nails down his neck to his chest, her fingernails digging into his bare skin. Killian couldn't keep up with her, as her teeth nipped at his lips. He lifted his hands and gently pushed at her shoulders, forcing her to part from him.
Her eyes flashed again. "What's wrong? You just said you want me."
Killian shook his head and whispered, "Not like this, Emma. Not while you aren't yourself. Not while you aren't fully in possession of your actions."
Emma's face softened, as she placed one hand on his cheek and the other on his chest over his heart.
"I'm still me, Killian. I'm still the same woman you fell in love with. I'm just free to act on my desires now." She paused, her voice lowering seductively, "And I desire you."
It took all of his willpower to resist her. He wanted to kiss her senseless and make love to her all night long, but he knew he would regret it in the morning. And he knew she would regret it when she was no longer dark.
"Emma, I want our first time together to be special. I don't want it to be like this."
Emma groaned in frustration and jumped off the bed. She shook her head sharply. "What good is it being the Dark One if I still can't get what I want?"
Killian climbed out of bed and stood in front of her, he brought his hand up to cup her cheek. "Hey, you have me. You have my heart and soul, Emma."
"But I want all of you," she said.
"Emma," he breathed.
"Goodnight, Killian," she said abruptly, then waved her hand and vanished.
Killian brought his fingers to his lips. He could still taste her.
…
~Wrath: strong anger, often with a desire for revenge~
Emma made her way into Gold's hospital room. She came to stand by his bedside. An evil smile curled her lips as she looked down at him.
"Look at you. Once so powerful, now reduced to lying in a bed. No magic. You can't even speak or move. You're so helpless. Pathetic, really."
Emma paused and slid the dagger out of her knee-high boot. She held it up to his throat. "And no way to protect yourself."
She swallowed roughly. "You hurt everyone in Storybrooke. You hurt the people I love. You don't deserve to live. You're a monster and now you've turned me into one."
Emma squeezed her eyes closed as she slid the side of the blade with her name on it across the skin of his neck. "Your darkness made your heart so black that it was killing you. So we found a way to get it out of you, but then it needed to be tethered to one person or the whole town would be threatened. So, being the Savior, I, of course, felt obligated to save the day. I let the darkness consume me and now I'm just like you. Except for one thing. You were never able to kill me. I won't have the same problem
killing you."
She brought the tip of the blade to his heart. Killian had been visiting Granny down the hall, who had suffered a heart attack. He was passing by Gold's room when he stopped dead in his tracks.
"Emma?"
Her head whipped in the direction of his voice. She smiled and said matter-of-factly, "Hi, Killian."
He stepped into the room, his eyes focused on the dagger. "What in bloody hell are you doing?"
She shrugged. "Exactly what it looks like. I'm going to do what should have been done centuries ago. I'm going to end him."
"You don't want to do this."
"Actually, I really do. You of all people should want him dead. He took your hand from you. He took Milah."
"I spent the better part of three centuries seeking my revenge against him. But all it ever got me was pain and loneliness."
"I don't think I'll have that problem."
"Think of Neal. Think of Henry. What would they want you to do? And Belle. She's been a good a friend to you. Think about how much this will hurt her."
"I'm doing Belle a favor. He never deserved her. She deserves to be with someone who won't cause her nothing but pain."
"He'll be different now that he's no longer dark."
"He needs to pay for his sins," she replied bitterly.
Killian stared at her. She seemed so different from the woman he knew and loved. He could always appeal to her rational side. To the good in her. But it was obvious now that he needed a new approach.
He took a step closer to her. "You know I like a fair fight. I love a challenge. This is neither."
Emma stared down at Gold.
She whispered eerily, "But it would make me feel so good."
Killian took another step toward her and placed his hand over hers.
"You said the woman I fell in love with is still here. But the Emma I know and love wouldn't do this."
Her voice softened. "Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she's gone."
He shook his head firmly. "No," he said sharply. "She is still here. She's still inside you. Otherwise, he would already be dead."
"He would be if you hadn't come when you did."
"I don't believe that," he replied.
"Why?" she asked, her eyebrows rising.
"Because just as Belle could see the good in Rumple, I can still see the good in you. And that good would have stopped you."
Emma squeezed her eyes closed.
"How can you believe in me like that?"
Killian smiled tenderly. "Because I love you. You saved me from the darkness once and now it's my turn to do the same for you. I'll never give up on you, Emma."
Killian's hand slid down to try to grasp the dagger, but she tore it away and slipped it back into her boot.
She looked at him for a long moment, before leaving the room without another word.
Killian let out a sigh of relief.
…
~Sloth: a dislike of work or any kind of physical exertion~
One ofthe worst things about being the savior was that you never get a day off. There are no vacations for the savior. Emma had been interrupted countless times when she was with her son, or her parents, or Killian. She'd be forced to run off and save the day. Defeat the villian-of-the-week. Break the curse-of-the day.
It was exhausting: mentally, physically, and emotionally. And she always felt guilty for missing out on time with the people she loved.
But now she could do as she pleased. Sleep until noon. Lay around all day. It didn't matter. No one was going to come calling for her to save the day.
One of the things she realized when she arrived back in Storybrooke was that she no longer had a home. She knew her parents would have welcomed her back to the loft, but she also knew that doing so would endanger them, Henry, and her brother. Worse, she knew they would keep a watchful eye on her and that was the last thing she wanted.
So she was without a home. It wasn't the first time in her life she had been without a home to call her own. Emma knew she could conjure up a house without breaking a sweat, but that would make it easier for people to find her, to keep tabs on her. She didn't want that. She relied on unpredictability.
She stood by the water, looking at the Jolly Roger. Night had fallen and the stars shown brightly. She knew he would be asleep by now. A smiled curled her lips and with a wave of her hand she poofed herself into Killian's sleeping quarters again. One more wave of her hand and she was invisible. Yet another advantage of being the Dark One.
Emma smiled at his sleeping figure. He was beautiful. She slowly made her way to the other side of the bed and crawled in beside him. His head was nestled on the pillow, his dark hair rumpled. She brought her fingers up and ran them through his hair. She loved his hair. She loved the way it felt between her fingers. He stirred, but didn't wake up.
She noticed something red beneath his pillow and gently slid her hand under it. Emma pulled her red leather jacket out and smiled. He must have kept it close to him to remember her by. It still smelled of her too. She figured it must remind him of her, make him feel closer to her.
She brought her finger to his face and slowly slid it down his cheek, tracing his scar, a remnant of the days when he'd been dark himself. There was a part of her that had been drawn to that darkness from the start, attracted to it. She wanted to be dark with him now.
Her hand moved down to his mouth, her thumb running along his lower lip. She wanted to kiss him. She was fighting the urge, when his eyes flew open, revealing the sparkling blue gems she could always get lost in. His eyes darted around the room, but he saw nothing. He brought his hand up to his lips. He couldn't see her, but he sensed her presence.
"Emma?" he breathed.
Emma smiled and waved her hand, making herself visible to him. His eyes widened as he laid eyes on her, lying so close to him he could smell her intoxicating scent.
"Emma? What are you doing here?"
"I needed a place to spend the night. I thought you wouldn't mind," she said, propping herself up on her elbow and resting her head on her palm.
Killian felt his heart begin to race, as her other hand moved to play with the hair on his bare chest. He swallowed hard.
"I'm not sure that's a good idea."
Emma shook her head. "I don't want anything, Killian. I heard you loud and clear last time. I just want to lie here next to you and get some sleep. You see, I don't have any place to be tomorrow and nothing to do. I could lie here all day tomorrow if I like. You could lie with me if you want."
Killian felt his arm moving around her shoulders. He pulled her close to him.
She was surprised, but responded by laying her head over his heart. She felt it beating wildly and could hear it thumping in her ears.
"Your heart," she whispered. "It's racing."
"Aye, because of you."
"Because you're afraid of me?" she asked softly, her fingers dancing across his ribs.
He shook his head and whispered. "No, because I love you and I thought I might never have you in my arms again."
She squeezed her eyes closed and allowed the steady thud of his heart to soothe her. He brought his hand up to stroke her hair, so different now, but somehow still Emma.
He licked at his lips, his voice emerging hesitantly. "Perhaps it's also racing because I remember the darkness. I remember how good it could feel. Perhaps I want to feel what it's like with you."
Emma's eyes widened and she propped her chin up on his chest, meeting his gaze. "Do you mean that?"
"Aye," he said. "I just want to be with you, love."
"But you worked so hard to rid yourself of the darkness, to be a better man."
"I did that for you," he said softly. "You gave me a reason to live, to turn away from the darkness. Now my reason for staying good is gone."
Emma smiled and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Being bad with you would be awfully fun. We could go wherever we wanted. Do as we pleased."
Killian took a deep breath. "But your family is still here."
"Yes, and they want to remove the darkness from me. They want me to go back to being their lapdog, at their beck and call whenever they please." Emma's voice softened. "We can travel the worlds, Killian. Taking what we want. Not a care in the world." She paused, slowly running her tongue across her blood red lips. "We could stay in bed all day, no one to bother us."
Killian sucked in a ragged breath. "Emma, your family would worry. We can be bad together right here in Storybrooke."
"Leaving would be what's best for them. This way, I can't hurt them."
"They would never stop searching for you," he replied.
Emma's eyes scanned his face. Her nostrils flared and her eyes flashed red. "You lied to me. You had no intention of going back to the dark side. You just want me to stay. You want to be able to control me, just like the others. And you want the dagger back so I am at your beck and call."
He swallowed hard. "I'm sorry, love, but if lying to you would get you to stay then I can't regret it. I need to know you're safe. We can still be together right here."
Emma sat up, her jaw clenched. "Why? So you can report back to my parents about my devious deeds? Tell them there's still hope for me and to not give up trying to save me. That's the last thing I want."
"Emma," he said. "I told you once it was my job to protect your heart. That hasn't changed. There is still good in you. Your heart isn't completely dark yet or you would have lost the ability to love. And I can see how much you still love me in your eyes. But if you leave everything and everyone you know, then your heart will darken a little more each day, until there's nothing left."
Emma willed her tears away and shook her head.
"Goodnight, Killian," she said suddenly and then disappeared.
Killian squeezed his eyes closed and covered his face with his hands.
…
~Pride: excessive belief in one's own abilities~
Emma grinned down at the blade in her hands, running her fingertips across the slick metal and the imprint of her name. Every time she looked at it and held it in her hands, it was hard to believe she finally had it in her possession.
She couldn't believe how stupid they had been. Killian, in particular, had been foolish to hide the dagger in such an obvious spot, a spot he had even shown her once.
They had clearly underestimated her. They couldn't begin to know what she was capable of now. If they thought Rumple had been bad, then they were going to be shocked by her. She'd make Rumple look like a pussycat.
She finally had what she needed. No one could control her now.
Emma made herself materialize in Zelena's cell. Zelena's was lying in bed, but she jumped out of it at the appearance of Emma.
"Hello, Zelena. It's been too long," Emma said.
Zelena sneered at her. "Oh, well, look at you. Someone had a makeover."
Emma's eyes flashed at her.
Zelena tilted her head and brought her finger up to her cheek, as her eyes scanned Emma's figure. "I must say I'm not entirely sold on the look. The white hair and eyebrows. You look like an albino. And the glittery skin? More suitable for a stripper than the Dark One, wouldn't you say?" She paused and added. "The leather ensemble is very dominatrix too. I'm sensing a theme."
Emma held the dagger up to her and stepped so close, that her breath was warm on Zelena's face.
"I didn't come here to get your commentary on the way I look."
Zelena grinned. "Oh, so this isn't a social call, then?"
Emma held the dagger to her throat. "Now you're catching on."
"Well, in case you've forgotten or missed my latest newsletter, I am pregnant with Robin's baby. So you can't kill me."
Emma bit at her lower lip. "I know, it's a pity because you are so deserving of death and I would like nothing more than to be the one to make that happen. But I can't…yet."
Zelena chuckled. "I must say, this whole darkness suits you much better than your savior complex. What a bore she was!"
"But I remember well all the pain you caused the people I care about. It's over now."
"Well, I am confined to this cell and I've been forced to wear this cuff to prevent use of my magic. I don't pose much of a threat at the moment, do I? I must say this downtime has given me a chance to catch up on my reading though."
Emma shook her head. "As long as you are in Storybrooke, then you pose a threat. So I am going to send you far, far away to a place where you can't hurt anyone."
Zelena's smile faded. "You can't do that. Think of Robin. He'll lose his child."
Emma brought the blade of the dagger up and dragged it along Zelena's cheek. "So considerate. Always thinking of others." She ran her tongue along her teeth. "Don't worry. Once you have the baby, I will come and take it from you. And I will bring it back to Robin."
Zelena's nostrils flared. "You can't do that. I'm its mother. That baby is all I have."
Emma laughed bitterly. "Don't tell me you actually care for that child. He or she is nothing more than a pawn, conceived solely for the purpose of causing your sister pain."
"I won't let you take my baby."
Emma snickered. "You won't have a choice. You'll be dead."
Zelena's eyes widened and she spoke sharply, "You wouldn't dare take a mother from an innocent child."
Emma shrugged. "Maybe you've forgotten, but I'm dark now. There's nothing in this world or any other I wouldn't do."
"Emma!" came Mary Margaret's voice from behind her.
Emma spun around to find her mother, father, Regina, and Killian standing in the door to the cell.
David shook his head. "Emma, you don't want to do this."
Emma smiled. "Don't worry, I'm only going to send her away until she has the baby. Then, I'm going to kill her and bring the baby back to Robin."
"Please, love, step away from her," Killian said.
"She tried to kill you, Killian. She used your love for me against you."
Mary Margaret shook her head. "She can't hurt us anymore. That cuff prevents her from using her magic and she's locked away."
Regina nodded. "I had the chance to make it so it was as if Zelena never even existed, but I didn't do it. I made the right choice and you can too."
David nodded. "You can't do this to Robin. That's his baby too. He needs to know it's okay."
"As long as Zelena exists in this world, then none of you are safe," Emma said.
Emma turned back to Zelena and held the dagger out at her. She began to wave it, when Killian's voice caused her to stop, her arm frozen in midair.
"Dark One, I command you to let Zelena be."
Emma watched as the dagger fell from her hands. Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open in shock. She slowly turned around, her eyes meeting Killian's. He held an identical dagger in his hand.
"I…I don't understand. I found this dagger in your quarters on the Jolly Roger. It was under the floorboards."
Killian nodded. "Did you really believe I would leave it in such an obvious place? It was a ploy to draw you out. We knew you'd come to seek the dagger, so Regina conjured up a replica."
Emma gritted her teeth together, her eyes flashing red with anger. "You can't do this. I need the dagger."
David shook his head. "No, you need help and we're going to find it for you."
Mary Margaret blinked back tears. "Emma, we wanted to draw you out so that you wouldn't lose hope, so you would know we are doing everything in our power to save you from the darkness. We're going to find Merlin. We're going to save you."
"What if I don't want to be saved?" she snarled.
Killian licked at his lips. "The woman we all love is still in there. Even now, you're behaving like the savior, trying to protect us all from Zelena."
Emma scowled. "I'm going to kill her. She'd be dead right now if she weren't pregnant with Robin's child."
Killian shook his head and held the dagger up again. "No, you won't. I command you to leave Zelena unharmed for now and always."
"Why would you do that?!" Emma screamed at him.
Killian's voice emerged softly. "I am protecting you from yourself, love. The Emma I know and love wouldn't kill Zelena as a solution. She wouldn't rip a mother away from her child, no matter who that mother is. Once the darkness is removed from you, I know you would regret this. I know it would eat you alive. You don't feel guilt now, but that guilt would consume you once you return to the woman you're meant to be. I refuse to allow that to happen."
Emma shook her head, laughing caustically. "Maybe this is the woman I was always meant to be. You're all so sure you're going to save me-…"
David nodded, cutting her off. "We will."
"You believed in us and we believe in you," Mary Margaret said.
"We'll never give up on you, Emma," Killian whispered.
Emma held the fake dagger up and then threw it at the cement wall. It hit the wall and then fell to the floor with a clatter.
"No one can stop me. I'm like nothing you've ever seen before. You'll regret this," she said in an eerily calm voice. "I can promise you that."
Then she waved her hand and vanished, leaving those she loved to wonder if she was right.
…
~Gluttony: the act or practice of eating and drinking to excess~
She spotted him as soon as she set foot on the pier. He was sitting on the edge, his flask in his hand. She knew she should leave him alone, that she would only bring him pain, but she couldn't help herself. She wanted to see him and be close to him one last time.
Killian knew it was her before she ever sat down. He turned to look at her once she was seated beside him, so close their bodies were touching.
She reached over and pulled the flask from his grasp. Emma brought it to her lips and downed its entire contents. She handed it back to him.
He shook it, his lips turning downwards. "Well, love, now how do you expect me to drown my sorrows?"
Emma waved her hand and the flask filled with rum again.
"Hmm," he said, taking a swig and smiling at the fact that he could taste her on it. "That's certainly a bloody brilliant trick."
He took another drink and then handed it to her. She had taken to drinking large amounts of alcohol since turning dark. She used to have a sip of rum here with Killian, a beer every now and then. Maybe a fruity drink when she was out with friends. But she usually kept herself under control. The few times she'd let loose, she'd ended up with regrets and one helluva hangover.
Now, she didn't care about regrets or hangovers. She drank and drank to excess because she wanted to. It made her feel good. It made her forget how empty she felt inside. Empty without her parents and son. Empty without him.
She downed the rest of the rum and then filled it again, handing it to him.
"Why are you here?" he asked, his voice soft as he met her eyes.
He could still see the love in them. There was a darkness now he couldn't deny, but the love for him was ever present.
"I wanted to see you," she said.
He shrugged. "Why? So you could try to manipulate me again like you did before? Prey on my feelings for you?" He smiled bitterly. "Just another Dark One using my love for you against me."
Emma felt her breath catch in her chest. "I'm not like Rumple, Killian. My love for you is just as strong and true as ever."
"Then why did you take the dagger?" he asked.
She took the rum and finished it off again and then refilled it once more.
"Because it's mine." She paused and then added, "But it was a fake, so it doesn't much matter now anyway."
"It matters to me," he said. "I want to try to understand."
Emma sucked in a breath. "I've let everyone control me for far too long. I was the savior so I had to save the day, defeat the latest villain, break the newest curse. I'm sick of it. I want to be in control of my destiny now."
"What does that mean for the people who love you?" he asked.
Emma willed the tears away. She would not cry. Tears were for the weak. She was anything but weak.
"I can't be here," she said softly. "I came here to say goodbye."
He brought his hand up to caress her cheek. "No, Emma, you need to stay. You need to give us time to figure this out together."
She shook her head. "This darkness inside of me…I said I wanted to be in control now, but the truth is, I'm not. The things I say and feel and do, they boil up inside me now and I can't stop them." She swallowed hard. "If I stay, I'll only end up hurting everyone I love. I'll hurt you, Killian."
"I don't care about me. I just want to be with you, Emma. We can fight this together."
Emma drank all the rum again. Normally, she'd be feeling the effects by now, but she felt nothing.
"I need to do this. It's the only way to protect everyone I love. It's the one good thing I can still do."
"I could command you to stay," he whispered.
Emma nodded. "I know, but you won't."
"How can you be certain?"
"Because you know I'm right," she replied.
She leaned forward then and pressed a kiss to his lips. She pulled back and leaned her forehead against his.
"I'll never stop loving you," she said softly.
She then stood up, waved her hand at the flask, and handed it to him full again. He watched her leave, wondering if he'd ever see her again.
…
~Envy: the resentful or unhappy feeling of wanting what someone else possesses~
Emma watched as Regina and Robin strolled down the sidewalk hand-in-hand, Roland and Henry on either side of them. Robin leaned over and whispered something in her ear. She laughed and kissed him. He released her hand and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to him.
Emma's lips curled in disgust. Regina had her happy ending. She had the man she loved and her son. And it was because of Emma. Emma had saved the town from being threatened by darkness. Regina should have been the one tethered to the darkness, but Emma knew she had worked so hard to change and get her happy ending that she had done what the savior always did. She had sacrificed herself, her own happiness. And now Emma's happy ending was gone. She had been torn away from her son and family. She had been separated from the man she loved.
She was tired of watching everyone else get what they wanted while she stood on the sidelines. She was tired of putting others first, sacrificing her own happiness. Now, she was alone. She didn't even have the dagger.
The Dark One should be able to get whatever she desires but Emma knew that came with a price. She had seen Rumple hurt the ones he loved time and time again. Neal. Belle. Henry. Every last one of them was better off without him.
Maybe, she thought, her loved ones really were better off without her too. If she stayed away, then she couldn't hurt them. She couldn't manipulate them. She couldn't use their love for her against them. Rumple could never stay away, but maybe she could be stronger than him. Maybe the part of her that was still good, the light part of her, the savior still buried deep inside of her, would allow her to protect them from herself.
Emma waved her hand and appeared in the loft. She made herself invisible and stood by the door watching her parents sitting on the couch. Her mother had her head on her father's shoulder and his arm was draped around her. She cradled her baby brother in her arms. They were watching a movie.
She sighed at the picture of happiness they presented. She knew they missed her, but she also knew they were better off without her. She would cause them nothing but pain. They had gone to extreme lengths to keep the darkness out of her before she was even born, but, in the end, she'd been consumed by the darkness anyway. She knew they couldn't save her this time. No one could.
With a sad smile, she waved her hand again. She appeared at the Rabbit Hole. Her eyes immediately fell upon Killian, who sat at the bar, a glass of rum in his hand. He downed it and then promptly got a refill. She could tell that he had been there for a while and was well on his way to getting drunk. His hair was disheveled and his eyes glassy.
He kept looking down at his phone. She walked to him, leaning over his shoulder. His head whipped up for a moment and swiveled around, as if he sensed her, then returned his eyes to his phone.
Emma closed her eyes for a moment and breathed in his scent. Then she opened them and looked down at his phone. He was staring at a picture of her. She smiled, remembering how Henry had taught him how to take pictures on his phone. He'd been a quick learner but only took pictures of her. She would constantly look up to find him snapping a picture of her doing the most mundane things. When she asked him once why he took so many pictures of her he said it was so he would have something to remember her by when they're apart.
She watched as he ran his finger across the screen, tracing the features of her face. She wanted to touch him. She knew this was the hardest on him. He had no one now. Henry had Regina and her parents. Her parents had each other and her baby brother. But Killian was all alone. She remembered him saying how before he met her he had no one to live for and that's what had caused him to give into the darkness. She wondered if he would give in again now that he was alone once more.
There was a part of her that wanted to pull him back into the darkness with her. She knew that being bad with him would be so good. He had proven difficult to manipulate, but still she wondered if it would be easy to tempt him. Then they could be together. She could have one thing that she desired. She could have some happiness like the citizens of Storybrooke were enjoying because of her sacrifice. But those thoughts subsided once her love for him won out and she remembered he was better off without her. This way, she couldn't hurt him.
Emma leaned toward him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Killian's eyes grew wide and his hand flew up to his face, his fingertips grazing his cheek. He looked around and saw no one, but in his heart he knew it had been her. He could feel her, sense her presence.
"Emma," he breathed.
Emma whispered, "Goodbye, Killian," in his ear.
Then, with a wave of her hand, vanished.
Killian felt her presence leave and his heart ached at the mere thought.
…...The End...
Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you thought! ~Steph
