PENGUING RACES OF ULTIMATE DOOM! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
"SHINJI WAKE UP! WAKE UP YOU LITTLE F-CKER!"
Shinji looked up, "Misato?"
"WAKE THE F-CK UP YOU BASTARD!"
"But I am awake." Shinji thought.
"LET'S GO SHINJI!" Misato screamed.
"Wait, Misato where are we going that requires me to get up at 4:30?"
"NERV HEADQUARTERS! WE GOTTA GET TO THE F-CKING NERV HEADQUARTERS NOW! GRAB PEN-PEN AND MEET ME AT THE CAR!"
Misato ran to the car, Shinji was confused. "She's acting all weird. What can be so important about NERV? I though we killed all the angels. Gay Kaoru should've been last, right?"
Shinji hopped in the car.
"LETS GO!" Misato yelled. "AVROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!"
AT THE NERV HEADQUARTERS
Rei was first to greet Shinji and Misato. "hello," she said in the usual boring tone. "Race. That way. Now."
Shinji was again confused. "Race? What's going on?"
"SHINJI THE F-CKING RACE IS GONNA START GOD DAMMIT!" Misato screamed in his ear.
"Ok i'm coming," said Shinji. He was still confused about this race.
AT THAT BIG ROOM WHERE GENDO USUALLY STANDS AND DOES NOTHING
"Welcome NERV employees. To the Official NERV Penguin Race of 2000-whatever year this story takes place." Gendo just randomly decided to hold races. "Get your penguins ready at the staring line."
"F-CKING SHINJI YOU BASTARD GET F-CKING F-CKETY PEN-PEN AT THE F-CKING STARTING LINE DAMMIT!" Misato yelled.
"Ok Misato. Pen Pen. Come over here."
Pen Pen did nothing. Misato was angry.
"PEN F-CKING PEN GET THE F-CK OVER HERE YOU INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE SH-T!" Misato took out a warhammer and started beating Pen Pen with it.
"AIEEEEEEE!" Pen Pen's head fell off.
Shinji got really angry ."YOU KILLED PEN PEN YOU DUMBASS! NOW WE CAN'T RACE!"
Misato slouched down and cried. "Blwaaaahhhh! Now we cant participate in the motherf-cking raace Waaahhhh!"
"GOD DAM RIGHT YOU KILLED HIM! YOU KILLED HIM AAARGH!" Shinji took out his Rocket Launcher and shot Misato. Misato flew 28 bajillion feet into the air.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I KILLED MISATO! WHYYY!" Shinji was crying like a baby.
Rei came up behind him. "Me.Rei Ayanami.You. Killed Her. Why?"
"It was an ACCIDENT I swear! I just shot her out of impulse! WAAAAHHHH!"
"Why?" Rei barely said.
"I JUST TOLD YOU! WBLAAAAHHHHH!"
"Why?"
"STOP ASKING MEEEEEEEE!" Shinji screamed.
"Why?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Shinji shot himself.Shinji is dead.
"Shinji. Dead Shinji. I. Rei. Yes. But. Why? Rei Ayanami. Why? Banana. Why? Why? Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywh-BLOOSHMMOOUGHHH!" Rei's head exploded.
Then Gendo walked up to the bloody mess. "Everyone is dead."
Then Osaka rears her stupid head. "IM ALIVE!"
Gendo shoots her. "Everyone is dead. Except me. Gendo Ikari. I am alive. I, GENDO IKARI!AM!VICTORIOUS!
THE END