Fleeting
"Damn it! Damn it all!"
"Why, you insolent child!"
--
And the door banged shut.
--
They were arguing again. It's the tenth time this week. And of course, she is the reason why. It had always been her anyway.
She and her stubbornness.
--
Her parents are kind and understanding, yet she chose not to change. She knows it all. That she is the one at fault. That she is the one to blame.
Screw her and her stubbornness.
--
She lived on a middle-class family. She had realized long before that she is lucky, luckier than other children living.
At least they don't suffer from poverty like some do.
At least she was able to study on a prestigious school everyone dreams of going to.
At least she is able to have things other people can't have.
Yet, Change has been always a no option for her.
It had always been.
--
Screw her pride and everything that went along with it.
For since forever, she has been suffering from a terrible sickness called: teenage rebellion.
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Running away from home has always been her option.
Ever since she was a child, she had always imagined herself walking out of that door, letting go from her parents' grasp and chains.
In fact, she had already made an attempt on doing so—when she was four, she locked herself on a certain room and tried to jump the second-floor of their apartment through the window. Being naive and innocent, what she thought was, "I couldn't jump, I could die."
Not, "How am I supposed to survive?"
--
For in this world of lies, deceit and hypocrisy,
She was one of them—those sinful ones, those who deserved to be cursed ones.
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She's tired of crying because of her sins.
She's tired or crying for making everyone hate her, and everyone she loves feel grief and pain.
She didn't try to change because of her body, mind and soul's stubbornness and pride.
And so she chose this path.
--
She didn't care if the road she didn't take will lead her to paradise.
She already rejected everything that will make her smile—she didn't deserve it.
What a masochistic bitch.
--
And so tonight, she decided to do it.
She packed all her things she needed—clothes, some food, and the money she saved. Then, she decided to go.
And soon, the darkness started welcoming her, as she took a road that was definitely going to ruin her.
--
And in her bed, laid a white piece of paper, together with the cell phone her parents gave her.
And on the paper, it was written:
Thanks for everything.
I don't deserve you, you don't deserve me.