Disclaimer-We don't own any of the characters in Harry Potter. Don't sue us. We're broke. Maybe if your lucky and you sue us you'll get a copy of Harry Potter and two quarters. That's if you're Lucky. Otherwise.....pocket lint....... probably dark colored. Oh well! ^-^'

Our Pathetic Attempt at a Harry Potter Fanfic

By Random Classmate and Lady Christina

Where to begin??..... We find our "hero" at the robe shop...... (who's name we have temporarily forgotten ^-^') ahem... and our "villain" trying on robes (obviously; Lady Christina sez: Really? I thought they were trying on shoes... Random Classmate sez: Idiot.... *shakes head mumbling* Lady Christina sez: BACK TO THE STORY!!!!!!) If you don't know who the hero and the villain are then you shouldn't be reading this, idiot. GO READ HARRY POTTER THEN COME BACK AND TRY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! Moving on...

Harry says,"Purple monkeys fly backwards thru arctic jungles!!!" then smiles proudly at his "intelligent" statement.

Draco asks, giving him an odd look,"What have you been smoking??"

Harry replies, beaming,"Nofins...." (Lady Christina sez: Translation-AbsolutelynothingwhatareyoutalkingaboutI'veneversmokedinmylife!!! Random Classmate sez: But there was that one time when you fell asleep in the middle of the road chanting "the flowers are coming"........ Lady Christina sez: You were the one who came up with Harry's first line in the entire fic.... BESIDES THAT'S NOT TRUE!!! Random Classmate sez: So......any way...)

Draco continues to look at him like he should be hanging at Rutledge's (Play American McGee's Alice if you really want to know... Lady Christina sez: Just tell them. Random Classmate sez: It's an Insane Asylum. You see... Lady Christina sez: Don't start.... you realize this is turning into more of an argument between authors than a Harry Potter fanfic.)He finally gets the courage to say, " My name is Draco Malfoy. I'm sure you've heard of my father Lucius Malfoy he works for the Ministry of Magic." Draco smirked at this comment and thought Another goon to do my bidding. yay....

Harry stood puzzled. Ministry of Magic?? Lucius Malfoy??? Who the...?This guy's on crack... " No I can't say I have heard of a Lucius Malfoy?? Why is he important???" Draco eye's widened in shock and fury.

"OF COURSE HE'S IMPORTANT YOU FOOLISH IMBECILE!!!!!!!"Draco hissed angrily, "MY FATHER IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT MEN IN THE HISTORY OF THE WIZARDING WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN! UNDER A STAIRCASE FOR THE PAST 11 YEARS!!!!!!!"

Harry nods proudly. "Yep!" Harry watched as a butterfly flew past the window. "Pretty......." He began to drool staring at the insect.

Draco thought not only is he an idiot but he's got the attention span of a dead flea living inside a 2000 pound walrus. (Lady Christina sez : How can it be living in the walrus if it's dead?? Random Classmate sez: Fine it is not living in a 2000 pound walrus... better??? Lady Christina sez: A bit... *grumble*)

"How would you like to be my go--friend?? Yes my good friend...", said Draco attempting to be slick.( Random Classmate and Lady Christina sez in unison: Like his hair...)

Harry still entranced by the @#$% butterfly says" Okay... Can I have a cookie?"( Random Classmate sez: I want one too!!!!!!)

Draco slaps him and says," No, you idiot."

Harry looks at Draco pathetically "Oww. That Hurt.................... Please"

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

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"Please."

"No."

"Please."

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"No."

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"No."

"Please."

"No."

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"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

(Lady Christina interrupting sez: THAT'S ENOUGH!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND THE SAKE OF HUMANITY, GIVE HIM A FRIGGEN COOKIE!!!! Random Classmate sez: Get me one too!!! Lady Christina sez: Do you really want a cookie? Random Classmate sez: Yuppers)

Draco becoming quite peeved says," Fine get a @#$%ing cookie I don't care!!!!!!!"

Harry stared at the floor. And Began to weep dramatically. Draco rolled his eyes.

End Of Chapter One

LC- So.. Whaddya think???

RC-Scared yet??

LC- *evil laugh*

RC-Have you taken your medication???

LC*stares at ground shuffling feet*