A Mass Effect Kink Meme fill. The prompt was:
I want a fill inspired by this song: (link to Geek and Gamer Girls Song here) where Joker finds out that Shepard is just as much of a fangirl as he is a fanboy. Amidst their fangasming, they both get turned on.
I'm sorry, it's a friendship bonding moment rather than sexytime, I couldn't break my head!Shep and head!Garrus up. And since Seth Green ships Joker/EDI, how can I go against that kind of authority? But the massive nerdery included within might be enough to compensate.
I'm fangirling over here myself. And before you start, I'm a Trekkie myself, I prefer it to the term "Trekker", which is forced and pretentious, in my opinion.
Shepard loved watching the stars zoom by from behind Joker's chair. With soft leather pressing against her elbows and chin, she imagined USS Enterprise swishing through the space, with Captain James T. Kirk and Commander Spock hugging on the empty bridge. Sometimes it was Galactica fleeing Cylons, sometimes she was a level 17 Wizard on a ship equipped with a Spelljamming helm, visiting the planet of baby Tarasques. Other times, she was Kal-El, in his pod, soaring through the stars to crash straight into the arms of his loving family.
She was galloping down the Bifröst bridge, looking to reach Midgard, when Joker's voice tugged her down from her fantasy.
"You know Commander, sometimes I get bored and imagine giant Spider-Man slinging from star to star alongside us," he sniggered and pushed several buttons on his console.
"Nice," she complimented with a smile and patted his hat. "But I prefer DC. Flash could at least keep up with the Normandy."
"Justice League has Aquaman. That fact alone makes Avengers better," Joker said, smirking.
Shepard poked her helmsman on the arm with one finger.
"Watch the arm!", he yelled and massaged the sore spot. "I bet you like Aquaman the most, always siding with the underdog."
"And I bet you dream of being Iron Man," she said flatly, narrowing her eyes.
Joker looked hurt, maybe for a split second, but then smiled and nodded. "Serves me right, I guess."
She nodded and patted him on the head again.
"I don't always side with the underdog."
"Uh, let me count the ways, Commander?" He swivelled the chair around, depriving Shepard of her comfy support, and started counting on his fingers, "Grunt, Jack, Ash and Liara back then, too. And Legion. You even got yourself an underdog boyfriend."
"Garrus is not the underdog. He's Batman!"
"I bet he is," he said, snidely.
"And Legion... I just really wanted a Companion Cube," said Shepard. She was embarrassed about admitting this, but she figured, Joker would understand.
"Really, Commander?" he quipped in that sceptical tone he picked up from EDI.
"Says the guy dating GLaDOS," she said and poked him again, less forcefully this time.
He laughed slightly and patted his console lovingly. "We're not dating, technically."
"'Technically' is the key word here," she giggled.
It was really comfortable to be silent and smiling with Joker, like this. Or talking crap and teasing each other, just like with other kids on the ships her parents served on, back when she was young and not technically undead. She leaned against Joker's chair again and started dreaming about Millennium Falcon escaping Star Destroyers.
"What do you reckon, Commander," Joker's voice dragged her out of her reverie again. "Death Star or Borg Cube?"
"Trick question," she said. "USS Enterprise. I prefer TOS to TNG. But the Normandy would kick all of their asses anyway, with you and EDI behind the wheel."
"Now you're just sucking up," he mocked, but he sat up straight, obviously proud of himself.
"Maybe a little," she smiled. "But you were fishing for it."
"Yeah, alright," he admitted, light-heartedly. "And a Trekkie too, huh? Why didn't you ever tell us?"
"Tell you what?"
"That you are, you know," he said, in a tone that suggested she should get the hint.
He turned his head and looked at her with eyes open wide, eyebrows raised, as if trying to convey some kind of meaning. She stared blankly at him.
"I don't know. What am I, Joker?"
He sighed, dropping the failed telepathic act.
"One of us. Nerd."
She couldn't help herself. A bout of giggling escaped her as she looked around the cockpit.
"Joker. Have you ever seen my cabin?" she finally managed to ask.
"Well, yes, but I don't-" he sputtered, confused, but she silenced him by raising her hand.
"Ever noticed the model ships? I put them together myself. And the books? I have every George R.R. Martin in a hardcopy edition. And AD&D handbooks. And look at this," she pulled her omni-tool out and showed him the list of her vids. His eyes bulged out and his jaw slacked. "Dammit, I even named my hamster Boo. And you're telling me you never noticed something I never tried hiding in the first place?"
He still was speechless. She kept grinning at him, watching his expressions change, from shock to horror to defeat.
"And you tell me this now, when we're both taken," he finally yelled, throwing his hands up. There was no real remorse in his voice, and Shepard was grateful for that. As fun as Joker was, he was more of a brother than anything else.
"I heard that, Jeff," EDI's synthesised voice chimed in, sounding hurt, as much as an AI can sound hurt.
"That was a joke," Joker deadpanned.
"I know," the AI's blue, round holo twinkled merrily, and vanished.
Shepard laughed heartily at this exchange. It felt almost as comfortable as hers and Garrus's teasing. She patted Joker on the shoulder.
"I still have that Galaxy of Fantasy character. I need an arena team, so if you'd ever want to PVP with someone worthy, I'm here."
"Thanks, Commander, but I'm more of a FPS guy. You might want to chat Legion up for arenas, tho."
"Just as well. I've been dying to try N7 Code of Honor co-op. Those noobs on the servers are driving me nuts."
"Shift's over in 10. Meet you at your place?"
"Deal," she grinned happily and Joker smiled back at her.
She leaned and kissed him on the cheek, then turned to leave, to inform Garrus their date will have to be put off for several hours.