I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters, which include Jacob.

Chapter 1

I Ran

I ran, and ran, and ran. I ate when I was hungry, slept when I was tired, and for fun I even howled at the moon a few times. I am Jacob Black, was Jacob Black. I couldn't return to being him. It hurt much. I didn't think nor did I want to. I just wanted to run and be something I could understand, a wolf.

I ran. I didn't know where I was running I just had to get away. Away from my kind, away from their kind, away from her memories. I love her, loved her. She's dead now. I didn't see it but I felt it in my heart. It felt like someone had reached into my ribcage and pulled out my heart. Even though I ran to escape her memories I still found myself thinking about her if I let my mind wander. She was my love, she was my life, she was my dear sweet, NO! I couldn't think of her. Even her name would bring unbearable pain.

I ran. I didn't want to stop. It was when Sam called me did I realize how much I wanted to run. He ordered me to come home. He said there was a crisis coming and he needed the entire pack to deal with it. I resisted with every step I took towards my old home and my old life. I grew angry. How dare he order me to come back to that place. How could he ever understand the pain I felt? I howled, I yelled, I cursed him with every thought and then I gave him an order.

Leave me the Hell alone! I shouted as loud as I could in my head. And then, it became silent. I couldn't hear Sam or any of the others. I was alone and I couldn't have been happier. I turned and did what I had been doing for a long time now. I ran

I ran for what seemed like an eternity. With time it seemed like the pain was growing worse. As if with every step I took I trampled my own heart. While I ran I let my wander to the few strange encounters with other mythical creatures I had over the years. The first was when I was somewhere in the Dakotas. I had been running north for the simple fact that when I got closer to Mexico I smelled a sweet but familiar smell. I didn't want to be near anything with that smell so I ran the other direction. As I headed north I stopped near a lake to get a drink when the smell assaulted my senses. I was so sweet it burned my nose. I couldn't run. I had to stay still, stay in the shadows, stay hidden. They walked out of the trees. Their skin sparkled in the sun and their eyes were topaz. Their eyes surprised me. One of them was female while the other was a man. I guess they hadn't noticed me because they started a conversation as they looked around.

"Good God! What is that smell?" the man said as he looked around.

"Hell if I know. Have you heard the news?"

"What news?"

"The Volturi have assembled to deal with some coven."

"Alexandria, we've been together for years now. You should know that to me that isn't news."

"That's not what's so interesting about the news. The coven is full of vegetarians like us! We should meet them honeybunch." she said with enough sweetness to make me gag. I couldn't take anymore. I jumped out of hiding and ran past them. As I left I saw the man grab his mate and put her behind him. He valued her over himself. He was in love. He'll find out how much it hurts, but first I had to get away. I ran.

The next encounter was while I was in Canada. It was a cold winter night. The snow falling from the sky seemed to dance in the wind as it surrounded me and made my vision count for zilch. I don't quite remember what warned me of it's presence but what I remember about it was that it was it was as big and it was fast, faster than me. It tackled me and sent even more of the frozen dancers into the air further blinding me. As I got up from the creatures attack it swiped at me with it's large arms and sent me to the ground in front of it. The snow seemed to freeze in the air as lay there and I got my first look at the creature and I had never been more surprised in my life. It had fur as white as fresh snow and claws that gleamed in the pale moon light. It's teeth were like daggers and it's eyes as red as fires of hell. It stood over me like a man but I even with this storm the full moon gave me enough light to make out wolf like features. My instincts seemed to control my actions as I gazed at my mythical brother. I howled and jumped towards him. He didn't seem to me as a threat nor did he need to. As I approached him he simply grabbed me by the neck and threw me to the side. He seemed to chuckle as he approached me ready for the killing blow. I was nothing compared to him. He was superior and he knew it. I had to get control. My instincts wouldn't save me I needed to outsmart him. I locked my gaze with his as he snarled and I got back up. His approach was slow and deliberate. He was toying with me. As he moved I studied him. He seemed to keep his right side to me and his left leg seemed to limp as he walked. That was what I needed. If I could get to his left leg I could take him down with his Hercules heel. Before I could even correct my poor use of expressions he lunged as me and sank his claws into my right flank. Pain shot through my body as he threw me to the side once again. Shit, he was to fast. Even with his bad leg he could still take me at this close distance. I jumped to my feet and was about to run when he grabbed me by my tail and then bashed me across a tree. I felt my ribs crack and I could taste blood. He was killing me.

As I laid in the snow tarnishing it's purity with my blood I thought of happier times. Me working on my bike, her smiling face as we watched the sunset, me holding her in my arms and as my mind went from the happy memory to another a darkness slithered into my consciousness bringing with it questions. Questions I didn't have to gal to ask myself.

What have you got to live for? She's dead. Wouldn't it be better if you died too?

As I heard these questions a cold shiver went down my spine. I couldn't answer these questions because these were the very questions I wanted to go away. I didn't know what I had to live for. But as I thought of this I saw my adversary snarl and smile an all knowing smile. My anger boiled over as I saw that smile. That was the smile that took her away from me. That smile was the smile I would never lose to. I didn't have a reason then but I didn't need one. I just needed anger. Without thinking I tackled him. I heard a sick crack as I saw his knee bend backwards. He howled in pain before I sank my teeth into his arm and bit as hard as I could. He howled again before he bit into my neck. His bite lacked his previous power but it was still strong enough to kill me if he applied more pressure. Suddenly his body started to shake violently and I knew something was wrong. He was weaker now for some reason. I had to take advantage. I let go of his arm and jumped off his bloody torso sending him to the ground and pulling a few of his teeth off in my neck He shuddered more as blood poured from his wounds. The pain he was feeling had to have been excruciating. With a quick lunge at his throat and tightening of my jaw I ended it. I howled in triumph as I slowly moved away from my defeated opponent and I as I did I saw the moon set over the horizon. I ran.