Lately, I've been so far gone

Pretending I don't know where I went wrong

I've been lying to myself in the arms of someone else

Without you I can't fake it…tonight

Here I am, so please don't tell me it's the ending

The ending.

That's all I could think about as Romilda Vane kissed me fiercely, her breath wreaking of Fire whiskey.

It had been a week since my breakup with Ginny and things were not going well. Professor McGonagall had kicked me off of the Quidditch team as captain and replaced me with Dean Thomas (the git- Dean, not Professor M.), due to my inability to show up for practices I had scheduled, on time. This was due to the fact that I hardly had the willpower to get out of bed anymore because it hurt so damn bloody much to be me and also because I couldn't bear the thought of having to be around Ginny with the knowledge that she and I were no longer together, and it was all my fault!

All mine…

You're all I ever wanted from the beginning

I know I let you down; I'll live with that forever,

I wanna scream out loud

That you're the only one that makes me better

Those short few months that I spent with Ginny were the happiest I'd ever had and I didn't want to give that up, I really didn't, but with Dumbledore dead and Voldemort rapidly rising in power, the situation called for it…

Desperately.

Because that was the last thing I wanted to have happen, was for Voldemort to take away another person I cared about so deeply.

Someone like Ginny…

Baby, I could barley talk to you

You got me; don't know how I made it through

Still you came with me that night, you will remember that alright

I can't believe that we could lose this tonight

So, to keep Ginny safe from harm and out of this month's obituaries, I had taken it upon myself to officially break her heart.

And since that day I can barley talk to, or even look at her without wanting to blurt out how stupid and sorry I am for calling it off like that and how much I still care and want to be with her.

But I know I can't do that, I can never do that, because doing that would make me weak and put Ginny directly in harm's way.

And I of all people know how much Voldemort thrives on the weak…the innocent…

Ginny…

So, to preoccupy myself from running back to Ginny and inevitably putting her smack dab in the line of Voldemort's fire; I became chatty with Romilda Vane.

I know, shocker, the very same Romilda that tried to love potion me up, make me warm for her form, make me-oh, you know what I mean, basically she kept trying to find ways to make me fall in love with her- which was a bit annoying really, but now…without Ginny…it would be a welcome reminder of what it was like to be…loved.

To be held by another person so tightly yet tenderly, that you thought they'd never let you go…

And that you never wanted them to.

Yes, now that I look back on it, I should have known that Romilda would be a poor choice to gain comfort from, (from the looks of her previous track record when it came to me), but having her was better then having nothing at all.

Nothing except the cold, last memories of Ginny and I together, haunted my waking dreams; the look of sadness and pain bleeding into her naturally smiling and happy features as I slowly, piece-by-piece, ripped her heart in two…

And mine along with it.

I had resolved to move on with my life as normally as possible at first, but when the urge to hold and be held by someone grew so strong to where it almost drove me mad, I knew that I had to find relief.

Quick.

So one day at breakfast in the Great Hall, approximately 3 days after my break up with the girl of my dreams, I went scouting for something, someone to help ease the ache in my heart. And although Romilda was by far my first choice to be burdened with that lucky task, she sure was the easiest. (I mean common', she's practically in love with me! What more could you ask for from a booty call?)

Making up my mind, and unable to control the raging ache inside of me, I left Ron and Hermione to fend for themselves at the Gryffindor table and made a beeline straight for the Hufflepuff table, where I saw Romilda chatting animatedly with her friends.

As I neared the table, high-pitched giggles erupted from Romilda and they were so annoying that I almost turned around and backed out of my crazy plan completely. But then I caught Ginny's eye from over at the far end of my table and she looked so sad, so melancholy, so…alone…That I knew I had to suck it up and get a date with Romilda, no matter how painful that might be, because I knew, that if I happened to lock eyes with Ginny again, I might just really lose it and run to her and beg for her to take me back and then she'd smile and kiss me, and all would be right with the world again… all alright…

But I knew it wouldn't be; things weren't that simple.

They never were…

True, we'd be together again and be happy, but when it came down to it, happiness didn't matter, shouldn't matter, not anymore at least. All that matters now is keeping the ones I love, safe, and if that meant giving up my life's happiness to achieve it, then so be it!

So be it…

When I finally reached her table, I stood directly behind her, shuffling my feet, choosing my words carefully… "Err…Excuse-"

"Romy," one of Romilda's friends giggled suddenly, "looks as if you have a gentleman caller."

I cursed my placement, timing, and Romilda's stupid friend with her big fat mouth.

"Wha-" said Romilda, looking 'round. "Oh…Hi Harry…" she said slowly, erupting into giggles yet again at the sight of me and covering her mouth with her hand to try and (very unsuccessfully, if you ask me), muffle the sound.

I grit my teeth, instantly aggravated by her childish antics, I mean, Merlin's Beard, we're all adults here aren't we? (Well, some of us) Shouldn't we be able to muster up just a smidgen of maturity?

"What- what do you want?" she giggled.

Apparently not, some people are just hopeless when it comes to growing up. Ah well, just have to work with what I'm given, I suppose.

I kept my voice deliberately even so as not to let my annoyance with her show and ultimately spoil the mood for what I was about to do.

"Hi…I was just I have a quick word, Romilda?" (so much for Mr. calm, cool and collected.)

"With-with me? Oh, oh yes, of course Harry."

She sounded just as nervous as I was, I'd have to give her credit for that one. Or maybe it was just the giggles talking….

She got up from the table, gave her friends a look that I couldn't see, (probably one of pure, disgusting, girlish excitement, topped off with some silent giggles this time, no doubt) and followed me through the crowd of tables and people, out into the hallway.

So, what-what was it that you wanted to talk to me about Harry?" Romilda asked me, a blush creeping steadily into her cheeks as she toyed with a lock of her hair.

"Uh….Er…." I started, shuffling my feet. This was a lot harder then I thought it was going to be! "I-I just…I just wanted to know if-if…"

"If…I would go out with you?" Romilda asked, looking straight at me, suddenly sounding extremely excited and hopeful, all traces of nervousness gone. I had to hand it to the girl; she bounced from emotion to emotion quick! Like it hardly fazed her.

"Er, yes, yes, exactly that," I stammered, a very prominent blush soaking my cheeks now, but all while making me feel as if I was sealing my own miserable fate with that one simple sentence.

Romilda's eyes went as wide as saucers. "Really, Harry? Really? Me?" she asked, clearly in awe.

"Umm, y-yes, really," I said uncertainly, wondering where she was going with this.

Then her eyes suddenly lost their astonished sparkle and turned hard, cold, angry

"Don't lie to me, Harry," she said in a low, deadly voice.

Oh. That's where.

"Wha-what?" I asked, immediately taken aback. Was it something I said?

"Romilda, what-what are you talking about? I'm-I'm not lying to you about anything!" I supplied weakly. (Well truthfully, this whole business of asking her out was a lie, seeing as how I didn't even like her like that and I was just asking her out to ebb the loneliness I felt without Ginny, but that was beside the point.)

"Yes you are!" she said fiercely, tears springing to her eyes. "I know you are! You hate me! You never talk to me when you can help it, so why all of sudden are you choosing right now?"

"Errr…" I hedged.

"You're trying to win a bet, aren't you?" she said unexpectedly, taking me completely by surprise.

"What- Romilda, no- you-"

"Ron put you up to this didn't he!" she screamed, getting right up in my face.

"Romilda, don't be stupid-" I started.

"Oh, so now your calling me stupid, are you?" she raged. "What else am I to you Harry, a scarlet wom-"

I don't know what made me do it, what possessed me to perform this gutless act, possibly I did it just to shut her up or to stop her from attracting attention, especially Ginny's, who knows, but one minute I was standing there listening to her wailing on me, and growing really desperate to make this go the way I had planned, smooth and simple, and the next, I was leaning forward and silencing her with a hard kiss on the lips.

Romilda stiffened, clearly surprised by my unexpected advances on her.

I was surprised as well, to be truthful, I had never kissed anyone out of the blue like that except Ginny, but I just wanted so much for Romilda to shut her big yap already, that I didn't know what else to do.

I let the kiss carry on for a minute or so, loving the feel of another's lips on mine, even if they weren't Ginny's.

Ginny…

I jerked my head away from Romilda, breaking the kiss, my stomach suddenly twisting in guilty knots as Ginny's face floated to the surface of my mind. It had only been three days since we'd-I'd called it off, after all, it wasn't fair to Ginny to be rushing into another relationship (or realationship-ish in this case, since it was all a lie) so soon.

But oh, how I had loved the feel of Romilda's warm lips on mine…so soft and real…so scrumptious, like butter, like- Oh, snap out of it! I scolded myself mentally, she wasn't that good'a kisser! Not as good as Ginny anyway…But still fai-arggg!!

"Romilda!" I said breathlessly, deliberately breaking my train of thought, so as to not let it get carried away with such ridiculous fantasies as the taste of Romilda's lips.

"What! Did I bite your lip Harry? Harry, are you ok?" Romilda asked, just as breathless as me, but clearly confused as to why I had just yelled out her name like that.

"Yes-yes, I'm fine," I stammered, still trying hard to catch my breath. "You're just...just a really good kisser, that's all!" I said, playing for time and laughing nervously.

"Oh, well-well thank you!" Romilda answered, a little uncertainly. "It's just, when you yelled my name like that, you sounded a little...desperate, almost scared, like you wanted to get away from me or something."

I blushed crimson, sweat beading on my forehead. She was onto me! She knew I was thinking about someone else..."Me!" I said in an unnaturally high voice, "get-get away from you? Never!" I exclaimed, waving her comment away with my hand. "Like-like I said, your-your just a bloody darn good kisser! Surprised me, is all!" I grinned weakly.

"Oh, so you thought my kissing was going to be rubbish, did you?" Romilda said, firing up yet again, the hard look back in her eyes.

I instantly began to panic, wanting very badly to avoid another one of her blowouts.

"Well I'll tell you something, Harry Potter," Romilda said threateningly, "you're-"

I lunged forward yet again and instantly shut her up with a kiss, pressing my lips firmly to hers, as if to ensure that no sound could escape them.

As I stood there kissing her, I felt Romilda instantly relax under my lips. It was much more preferable then letting her stand there and bellow at me some more!

Then I saw her eyes flutter closed and the angry lines on her forehead smoothen. From my point of view, it looked quite goofy, but then I began to feel myself relax and ease into the kiss, feeling perfectly content...

After a bit though, my lips started growing tired and numb from the intense pressure of Romilda's lips on mine and vise versa, practically fusing us together by the mouth!

So after a minute more, I finally pulled away, thankfully unsuction cupping my lips from Romilda's without doing any permanent damage to her kisser or mine. (Geeze! I don't know how I'm gonna survive this if I have to keep snogging Romilda every time she screams at me! At this rate, I'll be here all night!)

Afterward, I stood there, staring at her as she stared at me, her mouth red and blotchy-looking and her red lipstick smeared. Then, suddenly, instead of yelling at me some more like I thought she would, since every time she speaks, (or bellows, more like), I'm on her like a bloodthirsty piranha, she got this smoky, hazy look in her eye and this sultry, seductive smile on her lips and said, in a low, purring voice that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, (and not in a good way, either), "your not so bad yourself, Potter."

"Not bad at all…"

So, from that moment on, since our first date at Madame Puddifoot's in Hogsmeade, (where we, what else? Snogged! Got a bit boring after awhile though, to be truthful…yawn), up to now, a week later, Romilda Vane and I have been a couple. (Well, she calls us a couple; I on the other hand, just call us- in my head of course, duh! Do you think I wanna get yelled at and smacked upside the head by Romilda, all in one sitting? Ha, I think not- Snogging Buddies snicker, snicker).

'Cause well, in all honesty, that's pretty much all we do. Example: Breakfast time? Time (for a?) to snog. Break time? Time to snog. Right before we-FINALLY!-part ways to get some much needed shuteye-just me, not Romilda, that girl lives, eats, breathes, and stays awake, just to kiss me!-again, time to snog!

Seriously, the girl's like a snogging machine! Can't seem to keep her off me!

Now, if I was like any normal guy, that would be considered bragging, but I'm not normal, so, to me, it's just me telling it like it is. The cold, sad truth, the plain sight, clear as day, knowledge that God hates me, I mean absolutely, 100, loathes me: He won't keep desperate, raging, crazy, love-psycho, Romilda Vane, off of me for more then 2 seconds!

And it's really starting to piss me off.

So that's why, as I lay there on the couch in the deserted Gryffindor common room at 12'oclock in the morning, with a completely drunk Romilda Vane laying on top of me, trying to put her hand up my t-shirt, I don't take the opportunity to completely take advantage of her any normal guy would (again, me? Not so normal) and instead, wriggle out from underneath her dead, drunk weight, get to my feet, straighten out my twisted t-shirt and head for the stairs to the boys dormitory.

I've got my foot halfway onto the first step, when a slurred, giggly voice says happily, "hehehe, Harry, where….hehehe, are you….going?"

I turn my head, my foot still halfway on the step, to see Romilda sitting up on the couch, her hair and robes rumpled-looking and a wide, goofy grin stretched across her flushed face.

"Shhh," I whispered to her, putting a finger to my lips, "its O.K. Romilda, I just need to get something quick. I'll be back, wait here. And try to take a nap," I added kindly, hoping against hope that she would.

"Hehehe, O.K. Harry," Romilda said brightly, but still a little blurrily, "I'll…hehehe, try."

"Good," I said quickly, "you-you do that." I gave her the thumbs up sign, accompanied by a weak smile.

She grinned stupidly at me.

I gave her one last quick glance to make sure she wasn't going to go anywhere anytime soon (by this time she had developed a great interest in a piece of lint that was sticking to the back of the couch and was playing with it in between her fingers, blowing it up in the air and catching it, like it was a game, so I was confident that that little exercise would keep her occupied, if only for a little while) and turned my back on her, heading up the stairs to my room, praying that my plan for some much needed "Me Time" would go off without a hitch.

When I reach my dormitory, all of its occupants are sound asleep, some snoring loudly, others twitching in their sleep, dreaming.

Carefully, I crossed the room to the foot of my four poster bed, where a large chest sat, waiting.

I knelt down, undid the latch and slowly, cautiously, lifted the lid…squeak! I froze, my whole body tensing painfully, my heart thudding widely in my throat and sweat popping up instantly on my upper lip. Damn lid! I thought angrily. I licked my lips nervously, tasting salt, fear, as my gaze darted around the room, searching feverishly for any indication that I had woken anyone up. When the silence was for sure apparent, except for the occasional snuffle or snore from Ron, who occupies the bed next to mine, I breathed a sigh of intense relief, allowing my cramped fingers to relax their death grip on the lid of the chest.

Not wanting to waste anymore of my precious time and fearing that Romilda would come searching for me soon, I took a chance and opened the lid all the way in one swift motion, all the while holding my breath and not releasing it until the lid of the trunk was fully opened (and, more importantly, with no awakening of any of my dorm mates in the process) and I was able to peer inside of it.

After sifting through an assortment of broken quills, worn spell books, and many other odds and ends, I carefully extracted the one thing that was sure to keep me from going completely mental and strangling Romilda mid-snog, from within the chest: my ever-faithful, ever-trusting, Firebolt.

As I relieved my broom of its hiding place, I admired the way the moonlight, (which was spilling through the window in between mine and Ron's beds) was shedding its buttery, tranquil light onto the sleek wooden handle of the broom, illuminating the polished, golden writing that indicated the broom's brand name, down to the thick, plentiful, well-trimmed twigs that made up its tail.

I love this broom, just about as much as the man who had given it to me as a gift almost 3 years ago and I was completely confident that it would aid me well in my time of need.

So, without a second's hesitation, I shoulder my gem of ultimate transportation, not bothering to close the lid of the chest, since I know I'll be back soon to replace the broom inside it (and also because I really don't fancy a repeat performance of earlier, when it came to me not being able to open the chest without making a considerable amount of racket) and silently and quickly exit the dormitory, praying for no more holdups tonight.

As my foot touched the plush, scarlet carpeting of the Gryffindor common room as I came off the last stair leading to the dormitory, I was immensely surprised, and pleased, to be greeted by the deep, drunk snores of my-soon-to-be hungover girlfriend. Awww, looks like you did decide to take a snooze after all, I thought with malicious glee.

Perfect.

With that, I tiptoed-quite literally-across the common room (keeping my eyes fixed on the couch where Romilda slept, the whole way) and out the portrait hole.

Out to freedom.

Out.

At last!

Once out in the hall, I jogged to the large front doors of the castle and threw them open, not even bothering to muster up the energy to try and figure out why they were unlocked to begin with.

So there I stood with the doors flung wide open, allowing the cool night air coming from outside to brush across my face like a whispered secret; a secret only we knew and wished to keep to ourselves…

I turned, looking behind me into the deserted, hall, wondering if I should go through with this… Then the wind kissed my skin yet again and I relished the feel, the call that it was trying to send me…

Come out Harry! Come out and play! I hesitated still. Common' Harry, leave the castle…leave…Romilda…you know you want to…Come out and play Harry! Come out!

And even though I knew the voice of the wind couldn't be real, just my tired mind playing tricks on me, its mentions of me leaving Romilda…Better yet, knowing I wanted to, had me sold instantly.

Completely.

So, without a minute's pause or glance back down the hall, I lifted me broom to rest it more securely on my shoulder and walked purposefully down to the grounds, leaving the front doors of the castle hanging wide open, the breeze wiping away all other concerns from my mind.

My trainers squeaked as I walked across the dew covered grass to the middle of the grounds, the best place, I thought, to take off.

Once there, I look around one last time to make sure I'm alone, and, finding the grounds deserted, mount my broom and kick off, hard.

The starry night sky whips past me as I gain altitude, climbing higher and higher into the air, the wind immediately numbing my hands and face, but I don't care, not one bit. At least now I'm free, finally free, of Romilda the snogging queen, who I don't really love.

At all.

This thought cheers me as I zoom around the grounds, along with thoughts of finally breaking up with Romilda and somehow winning Ginny back and getting to hold her in my arms for eternity and never letting her go again…

The thought dies on my brain as I suddenly see the clear night sky turning grey with fog…then chill envelopes my whole body, my core, along with a feeling of hopelessness and despair so strong, I think I might drown in it… Then, the screaming begins…

"Harry?"

I stir.

"Harry!"

My brain hums back to life.

"Oh Harry, please wake up! Please!"

My eyes flutter open, revealing a blurry, slightly red image hovering over me…. I speak slowly, partly out of exhaustion and partly because I'm not sure if what I'm thinking is true…

"G-Ginny?"

"Oh Harry! Thank God you're alive! Thank God…Thank God…"

I hear her whisper with her sweet voice…as sweet as nectar, as she flings herself on my chest; her tears soaking through my already wet t-shirt: for it had started to rain, but even so, Ginny's warmth feels reassuring, almost peaceful, as I lay here, only just realizing that I'm on the ground and that I had almost died…

I gasp suddenly and sit up fast. "Ginny! The demeanors! Get your wand, hurry! Get-"

"Harry, its O.K.!" Ginny says quickly, putting a hand on my shoulder to stop me from standing up.

"But the de-" I start.

"The demeanors are gone now…" she tells me soothingly.

"But how-?"

"I dunno how they got on the grounds, but don't worry, I got rid of them for you as you seemed a little….er, "out of action" when they appeared," Ginny held up her wand and winked at me.

"Oh wow, thanks Gin," I say weakly, smiling at her, "thanks a million."

"Don't mention it, Potter," she grins and I feel a spark of pleasure erupt in my veins at the sound of my name on her lips. It sounds so much better when she says it as opposed to Romilda.

Romilda…

"Oh blimey, Ginny!" I yelp, "Romilda! I left her sleeping in the castle! She's drunk and-"

"Romilda's fine," said Ginny, the slightest bit of annoyance creeping into her tone at the mention of my current girlfriend. Her features relax into a smile however as she says reassuringly, "the dementors didn't go into the castle, just out here on the grounds- I made sure of that." She winks at me again and I grin back; it feels wonderful to talk with Ginny again, (even under the current circumstances of me almost having my soul sucked out of my body) to laugh with her like normal and be around her without feeling so….so empty, so…guilty…

My stomach squirms uncomfortably. "Ginny…" I croak, wanting desperately to spout out how sorry I am. I look up at her, "Ginny, I-"

"Harry, its O.K.-"

"No Ginny, it's not," I say as I cut across her. "I've seen how sad you've been-"

"I haven't been sad!" she protests quickly.

"Don't lie," I say, raising my eyebrows at her, "I've seen how quiet and glum you've been lately, ever since-" I stop, guilt gnawing at me, burning my face with shame.

"Ever since you dumped me," Ginny finishes for me and I squirm.

"Yeah….that…." I say, looking down at my lap.

"Well I've seen how quick you were to replace me," says Ginny scathingly, "and with that bimbo Romilda Vane too, ugh, could you have picked anyone worse, Harry?"

"No," I admitted, "but just slow down a minute Ginny, let me explain, I didn't replace you, I just-"

"Kicked me to the curb, broke my heart, started dating a loser, started-"

"To try and get over you, Ginny!" I bellowed at her. "The only reasonI ever started dating Romilda in the first place, was to get over you! It hurt so much being without you, that I was desperate to try and find a distraction! A chance to feel….loved again," I finish lamely, looking down at my lap again.

All is silent for awhile and I think Ginny has gotten up and left me, when-

"You are loved, Harry."

I look up her, hardly daring to breathe, eyes wide.

"By me."

I'm begging you now please don't tell me it's the ending

You're all I ever wanted from the beginning

I know I let you down; I'll live with that forever,

I wanna scream out loud

That you're the only one that makes me better

The air is still as she gazes at me and I at her. The stars in the sky are reflected in her eyes and my heart quickenes at her beauty and at her close proximity to me. Then, suddenly, as she gazes at me a little longer, a small smile on her mouth, she leanes forward, closing the gap between us: an explosion of feelings passes between us as our lips touch, the feelings of pain, longing, and love that we seemed to have felt for another while we were apart seem to mix and swirl together in dizzying, life-altering kiss.

Yeaa…this time I'm gonna make you right…

Oh, just take me home with you tonight

"Ginny," I whisper breathlessly as we break apart, "I lo-"

"Harry James Potter!" her voice cracks through the air like a whip that leaves deep welts of guilt on my conscience as I whip my head around to face Romilda Vane, my girlfriend from across the grassy grounds. "Romil-" I start, but she cuts swiftly across me.

"What in the name of bloody hell do you think your doing with that slu-"

"PROTIFICUS TOTALIS!"

I jump to my feet and aim my wand (that I had stuffed in my robes) straight at Romilda and fire the body bind spell at her, a jet of green light shooting from my wand and zooming toward her- when another jet of light suddenly catches up to mine out of nowhere and mixes with it, combining the two spells into one giant one-that hits Romilda square in the forehead-I gasp as I watch a look of shock cross Romilda's face as her body stiffens, as straight as a board, and she topples backward, onto the grass.

"W-wow Ginny!" I exclaim in utter amazemen,t turning back to face her. "That was-"

"Brilliant?" Ginny asks, smirking, twirling her wand in her fingers.

"Extremely," I say, grinning.

She grins back and her smile relaxes as she gets a hazy, smoky look in her eye that seems vaguely familiar…

Please don't tell me it's the ending,

You're all I ever wanted from the beginning

I know I let you down; I'll live with that forever,

I wanna scream out loud

That you're the only one that makes me better

"Harry," she says quietly, coming closer to me now, so I'm able to count each one of her beautiful freckles and long, luscious eyelashes…. "I know you think that to keep me safe from Voldemort, you have to keep away from me, but the fact of the matter is-"

"Yes, your quite right," I say feverently, "I do have to keep-"

"But the fact of the matter is," she says firmly, cutting across me, "I can't keep away from you-"

I open my mouth to protest, but she hurries on.

"Because…Voldemort or no Voldemort, I love you, Harry Potter," she says quietly, tears glistening in her eyes.

"But-" I'm becoming desperate now, I have to make her see sense.

"I know what you're going to say Harry," she says quickly, interrupting me yet again. "You're going to tell me that even though I love and you love me too, that won't keep me out of Voldemort's clutches."

"Yes, and-"

"And I know that if we fight him together it'll be just as effective, maybe even more so, with a brilliant witch like me there by your side." She grins and the worried lines that have creased my forehead through her entire speech, relax, and I know she's right, apart we were fair fighters, but together and with the love that we felt for one another pounding in our veins, we'd be invincible.

I grinned back at her and look in he eyes indicates that she understands that I agreed whole heartedly with her now.

Forever.

"I love you Ginny," I say, taking her warm hands in my own and smiling down at her.

Her smile is radiant as she replies, "and I love you Harry, so much."

I look over at my unconscious, now ex-girlfriend, then turn back to Ginny, a mischievous glint in my eye as I lean in closer to her, breathing her in and say, "Now, where were we?"

Chorus repeated (You make me better, you make me better…)