Ever since I lost my mother, I have strived to find a person or place I can belong to. I thought I found that place when I was accepted as a Jedi Padawan, and Master Obi-Wan Kenobi agreed to take me under his wing and teach me in the ways of the Jedi. I was wrong. Even though I did find some sense of security among the other Jedi Padawans, I never actually felt like I quite fit in with the others. I had seen and heard too much of the world, outside of the Jedi Temple, that my experiences made me feel as if I was years older than the other Padawans, even if I really wasn't.
When I was reunited with Padme after ten years, I realized that she could give me the sense of permanence and belonging, I had been searching for since my mother's death. She was everything that I could ever hope to find in a soul mate, lover, wife, and companion, and I worked hard to convince her that my intense feelings for her were more than just a schoolboy crush. Just when I was beginning to give up on her ever deciding that she loved me as much as I loved her, she finally admitted her true feelings for me, and we were secretly wed.
Once we were wed and began to share our secret life with each other, I had thought that the feeling of longing, of searching for someone or somewhere to belong to, would finally fade away. Instead I was plagued by dreams; dreams of Padme being taken away from me, of dying, just like the ones I had had about my mother so long ago. I didn't understand why, after marrying the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with that I still felt as if I didn't quite belong.
I know why now. As I bow down on bended knees before my new master and pledge myself to his teachings, I finally feel as if I belong.