This is a twincest story. Don't like don't read. I don't know if it's going to be a series or not. You guys decide.

My brother was really pissing me off. Seriously! Coming back from college for the summer I found that he had cut his hair and dyed it blonde. Also he is sporting an earring and an array of bracelets that take up both of his wrists. I don't understand this change. Why was he going out of his way to look completely different than me. Did I do something wrong? Did I not iris message enough? Did I not visit enough? Travis was my only family since our mother died, my rock. Now he seems like a totally different person. Like I don't know him anymore. Even going as far to chum up with katie who has hated us since the Easter bunny incident.

I haven't really seen him since he got back. I know he has an apartment close to the camp so he's been staying there at night leaving me in charge of the rest of our siblings. Why did it have to change? We were so close! What did I do?! I saw him talking to Nico outside of the hades cabin along with Will Solace. All of them talking animatedly with wild hand gestures. Breaking from the conversation he saw me from across the field and then said something to Nico. Both walked across to me, I had every intention of walking away but I couldn't leave him. I couldn't just leave.

"Connor! Hey did you want to do a movie night at the apartment? Just me and you?"

The sentence of course pulsed inside me, finally! A little alone time! I missed that fucker so much!

"Yeah that's sounds great but what about the cabin?"

"Will said he would send Austin over for the night. Nico is going to travel us there."

"Are you both ready?"

"Yup."

The cold wet feeling of shadows enclosed on us as I shadow traveled for the first time. It's was like being squeezed into a PVC pipe with petroleum jelly. Popping into a simple living room Nico bid us goodbye with a pop and left my brother and I just staring at eachother.

"So what's up with the new look?"

"Oh a girl in my Japanese class got ahold of me. She thought blonde would look better with my eyes."

"So you just let her change you? Are you fucking her too?"

Travis didn't say anything, just wandered into the kitchen to fetch a beer from his fridge and pulling me out one as well.

"Who bought the beer?"

"I think we both know the answer to that."

"Yeah, you lifted it. Should have guessed."

"Connor what's up? Seriously it seems like you are super mad at me for some reason."

"You left me there! You left me at camp alone! You come back and you are blonde and stylish and sleeping with a bunch of people! Talk about leaving me behind!"

"It's not a bunch ok! Just Marla from school and.. nevermind."

"Let me guess? Katie?"

"Dude it was one time. It was a favor, she is about to go to school next year, Harvard at that and she wanted to just get it out of the way. It's no big deal."

"So you are off getting makeovers and sexual experiences and I'm left to pull half ass pranks at camp and hope that Lacey will take pity on me at New Years and kiss me at midnight."

"Did she?"

"No, of course she didn't."

"Damn Connor you act like you have zero experience." He swigged his beer hard knowing full well what he was saying.

Yeah experience, does that count though? Stolen kisses and a few nights waking up embarrassed and full of shame. Travis knew that the only experience I've ever had was with... him. Travis was always ahead of me in everything. Taller, hit puberty first even though it was only like two weeks apart. We never talked about it. Stuff would just happen and then we would act like nothing happened. It's not like it was uncommon. Identical twins had a tendency to explore eachother, it was natural for us. Like touching ourselves in an out of body experience. Hearing Travis had touched someone else hurt. Made me feel disposable. Our mother was a Romani traveler, she died young and all we had was eachother.

To be fair, in all honesty I wasn't gay. Neither was Travis. It was just different with eachother, the exception.

"Did you like it?"

"Like what?"

"Being with Marla and Katie?"

Sitting down on the stool he opened my beer with a lighter and slid it across the island to me as I sat with him. Lighting up a cigarette he passed me one. I had never smoked and I didn't realize he did, but I wasn't about to look like a kid in front of my older by ten minutes brother who seemed to be gaining all this worldly knowledge. Inhaling the cylinder wasn't that bad. In fact it was soothing. Travis looked like a natural at it, like a blonde dragon.

"Katie was actually first, the night before I left for school. Both of us super awkward and the first time it was over really quick. We ended up doing it like 5 times that night. Just to get the hang of it. Obviously I was not totally... inexperienced so it didn't take long to get the swing of things. Marla was so different. Like she had lots of notches in her bedpost so she taught me a few things. We just ended up being those friends that if at the end of the night at a party if neither of us found someone we would just go home with eachother. "

"You didn't fall in love with her?"

"She made that impossible with the way she flaunted her sex life. It was clear from the beginning that I was just toy to play with when she was bored. "

"How come we never talk about.. us"

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Well, how did you feel after we.. you know."

"Well.. I guess I felt bad? I hurt you. I took...I took advantage of you. I, I made you do those things and I'm ashamed of that. I hope you forgive me one day."

"Travis, you didn't make me do anything I didn't want to do."

"Really? You think that? What about the first time huh? When I grabbed your hand in the shower? Made you touch me?"

"I wanted to touch you."

"Bullshit Connor. What about the first time we actually tried bigger stuff? You threw up afterward! "

"Because you got my gag reflex to many times not because I didn't enjoy it!"

"What are you trying to say Connor! Are you saying you want me to start touching you again? Are you jealous that I've been with other people? What do you want!"

"What about our first kiss huh? That wasn't you. That was me! I kissed you!"

"We were 12 and mom had died you were just lonely."

"So you think all this time you were just hurting me? You ever thought I wanted those things?"

"It's wrong Connor, what we do is wrong! "

"Why?! Why is it wrong travis! Because everyone else thinks it is? Fuck everyone else!"

"You don't get it."

"Tell me you didn't think of me when you were with them!"

"Conn-"

"No! Tell me the truth! Tell me I never entered your mind when you kissed them, that you didn't think of me touching you when they did. Tell me that they got you off better than I did."

Silence.

Travis just stood up and finished his beer. Walking close to me he got right in my face.

"I can't."

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