Hello all, a bit rushed for my tastes, but I had to get this out of my system seeing as how I fell in love with this couple all over again. I hope you enjoy!
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My shoes clacked with each step I took on the sterile and spotless hospital floor. I caught a whiff of newly opened antibacterial medicine bottles and figured shinobi were starting to come back from missions. The scent always seemed to creep to my senses and before I knew it, the entire floor was thick with the moans, complaints, and smell of chemicals meant to save lives and limbs. I imagined the smell would only get stronger since more hurried footsteps and squeaky wheels of trolley stretchers could be heard in nearby hallways. The hall perpendicular to mine was especially boisterous with the sounds of various nurses and one surprisingly relaxed protestor.
"I'm fiiiine!...Just…let me go…off…there..yeah.."
"Hyuga-sama, we MUST run more tests for any side effects you may have! It's standard procedure and we-"
"I DON'T…nurse I…don't have any!...I…I HAVE MY….eyes… EYES TO TELL ME THAT!"
"Neji, perhaps it is best we allow the nurses to examine you…" a cautious and courteous voiced tried to reason with him.
"OH, DON'T YOU….dare…gimme that! YOU…you of ALL people..CANNOT tell me that…"
The rolling sound of the wheels came into closer proximity and I saw a glimpse of swirling long hair that belong to a man trying to get off from said stretcher while an onslaught of nurses protested and an anxious Lee followed suit. The scene struck me as almost comical, since I only caught a bit of it as they continue on to the rest of the hallway. My curiosity was piqued as I noticed I had nothing to do for the time being unless more people arrived from missions.
'Sure…I have time to kill to make Neji feel uncomfortable..'
I picked up the pace and ran to catch up with my comrades.
It did not take me long seeing as how as soon as I turned the corner, I nearly crashed into the bed keeping an estranged and disheveled Neji. His hands were restrained with velcro and hastily tied up on the metal bars of the bed. His usually tidy and pulled back hair had come undone and strands of it adorned his languid face. Eyes that usually glared at me during hospital visits were glazed over and slightly red. He flashed me a lazy, yet provocative smile that left my face burning for a few seconds before I realized something was out of place.
"What's um…what's wrong with him?" I uttered, trying to regain my composure. "I need his folder."
A nurse hastily slipped a few papers to me and as I skimmed through the information, I found myself trying to keep a stoic and professional face.
It was painful that I could not laugh.
"So…rapid heartbeat, disorientation, lack of physical coordination…and he seems to be having some sort of psychoactive effects…what was he smoking?" I joked, much to the chagrin of the nurses.
I heard a throat clear and I turned my head to see Lee standing next to me. Due to my fascination with the information, I had paid no mind to the perfectly healthy taijutsu master beside me.
"Hello Sakura, I trust you are doing well today?" he greeted me with a nervous smile and a slight bow of his head.
"Doing pretty well, at least until Neji came in higher than the Hokages' faces. What happened?"
"Well…it was not on purpose.." he tried to explain. He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced over to a relaxed Neji.
"Leeee…I feel fiiiine…just…let's just..forget this..and go get…dumplings…yeah, dumplings.." he mumbled back as he momentarily lifted his head from the pillow and promptly dumped it back down again. His eyes were closed.
I thought I heard some slight snoring.
"As I was saying," Lee turned the attention back to him, "He was teaching his students the fundamentals of mixing medicinal herbs…some had the…creative idea of using some to start a fire to boil some water for tea. I would not have thought that some herbs could take effect that quickly…"
"How are his students?"
"Slightly drugged as well…but they were the ones who brought him to my dojo after he took the bulk of the smoke trying to put the fire out when he realized what had happened." He pointed out, trying to hide a smile as well.
I smiled back and hid any urge to laugh or treat this matter lightly. I noticed Lee was biting his lower lip rather tightly and was trying to follow my example. We both exchanged knowing looks, aware of the fact that we were never going to let Neji live this incident down for as long as we remembered it.
"Lady Haruno, what do you wish us to do?" one of the nurses interrupted our mental conversation as she looked at the patient with a worried expression. "If the Hyuga Household finds out about this incident, it will surely bring shame to them.."
"Then untie him and let him sleep it off…the herbs listed that they used do not have a lasting effect…"
"But what if he tries to leave?"
"He has the strength of a dying rabbit, just have someone on watch, so untie him…" I said tiredly.
"But-"
"Now."
The nurses immediately began to loosen the velcro straps keeping the prodigy restrained as I barked my orders.
I turned to his teammate and held a hand up in greeting.
"Yo."
"Hello to you as well, Lady Sakura."
"Don't call me that." I groaned.
Lee laughed for a moment but silenced himself as they wheeled his unusually euphoric friend off to his room.
"My apologies…when do you think he will be himself again?"
"I don't know," I said solemnly, "months? Years? A couple of hours?"
Lee knew better than to take me seriously when I gave him extreme estimates. He rolled his eyes and sighed.
"So it is safe to assume he will make a full recovery?"
"Give or take some extreme brain damage, yes."
"I am serious, Sakura! I am the patient's teammate!" he exclaimed, annoyance evident in his voice.
"And I'm his doctor, I'm not allowed to tell you anything unless you're his family. It's all secret!" I teased, hugging his files against my chest in order to protect my client's privacy as I began to walk away from him.
"You can be quite the cruel woman." He muttered under his breath and he began to walk beside me.
"You probably know more about his secrets than I ever will, anyway! Especially if he was as talkative with you as he was with us!" I pointed out with a smile.
He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.
"I will say this.. I feel a bit terrible. I am afraid I heard things that he intended to keep to himself." He admitted.
"I'm sure that if he was forced by a substance to confide in someone his deepest and most embarrassing secrets, he would forcibly pick you." I taunted as we continued to walk.
"That…that does not make me feel better in the least, Lady Sakura." Lee teased back with a chuckle.
This had been a habitual occurrence for us for quite some months. Neji's new load of students had developed a penchant for creating mischief and it often ended requiring Lee's attention in one form or another.
"You need to stop having your dojo so close to Neji's students…"
"I require this? Sakura, I am afraid those students need to stay far away from it!" he corrected, holding back laughter.
"I swear, Neji is a genius, that much is true, but I never thought he'd have his hands full with three genins! How do you do it?" I asked, recalling that his dojo boasted a hefty number of students each year who traveled from afar to learn his now famous techniques.
The man beside me shrugged and ran a hand through his glossy hair. "I only deal with the physical aspect of training…even if I have more students, Neji must deal with the bulk of it and teach them various things at once. I can understand how he would get distracted with so many things happening at once."
I nodded in agreement, my sympathy of Hyuga Sensei growing.
"I imagine Neji will be famished once he wakes up." He added with a grin.
My stomach grumbled as if on cue much to my discomfiture. Lee turned his head to look at me in worry as we walked together and I waved him off with my hand.
"Speaking of which…have you eaten yet? I'm in the mood for dumplings now that our dear Neji developed a craving for them." I continue to crack another joke at his teammate's expense.
Lee let out a laugh and nodded. "I think that sounds like a great idea. Plus, it will be a nice chance for you to stretch and have a change of scenery."
I gave him the biggest grin I could muster and practically exploded out of the hospital in joy.
If there was one thing I loved more than teasing friends, it was food.
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We soon found ourselves a small dumpling booth with benches nestled close to it for its patrons. It always seemed like the tinier the establishment; the more I savored their food. The picturesque view of the Hokage faces and the lush greenery made for a relaxing accompaniment to our lunch. I tried to cool my burning tongue as I bit into a freshly cooked pork dumpling. The dough was soft and salty from the tender pork that released steam with each bite. Lee had opted for the "boring" choice, or as he called it, "Vegetarian dumplings". He sat beside me sipping on green tea while I asked for a juice.
"Neji is going to be so pissed at us if he finds out what we're eating without him."
"I do not think he will even remember."
"I was joking," I said flatly as I finished my first bun and attacked a second. "How have you been, Lee?"
The question seemed foreign to me. It was not as though I had not seen Lee as of late, rather, he came often with a teammate needing medical attention. It was not as if he had changed in the time I had known him…or maybe he had and it was just one of those occurrences that sped past you. He was taller than all the male comrades we had, that much was certain. His already strong build had grown and his body boasted more muscle mass, but aside from that, I had noted no drastic change in him save for his more mature personality, broader shoulders, stronger muscular limbs that could break trees, and an overall pleasing quality to his masculine facial features.
Or maybe I had spent far too much time with him to notice.
Lee stopped sipping his tea long enough to acknowledge my question. He looked at me, then turned his attention back to the cup in his hands.
"Fine, I suppose. The students are progressing through my lessons at an impressive speed. How about yourself?" he answered as though giving careful thought to his words.
"I've been okay…work is work I suppose…and Naruto and Sasuke still behave like asses sometimes."
"Yes, I believe Sasuke won the Mr. Konoha Beauty Pageant."
"He didn't actually, he won Best Dress." I corrected. "He even gave the right answers and everything."
This, what we were doing, had also become a habit. It was a habit that involved Lee visiting me daily whether he half dragged Neji or not, and usually ended up in the two of us eating lunch. It was a habit I looked forward to each day since I knew I would get to rest and talk with a dear friend who knew how to make me laugh. It was yet another habit to try and outdo one another in our cattiness.
"So, Lady Sakura, how is your courtship experience?"
"Oh, brimming…tons of dates to choose while I tend to wounded patients…"
He flicked my forehead playfully in an effort to scold me.
"Any news with you?" I asked, wolfing down another dumpling.
He bit into his food carefully and chewed with a pensive face. "Well…Neji tells me his clan wishes to arrange for a wife. He brought it up during one of our missions, but I thought he was just trying to amuse me."
"Neji? Married? Now that, my dear Lee, is interesting." I continued to tease his teammate.
Lee gave me a puzzled expression. "You think so? I would like to believe many women of courting age would be interested in him." He pointed out, albeit a bit confused.
I held back a snort.
"Yeah, his giddy personality and romantic nature is sure to captivate ladies for a lifetime." My voice dripped with sarcasm as I sipped my juice. "Being handsome and skillful aren't the only things girls look for in a husband. They want someone warm and loving."
"Does that apply to you as well?" he asked, cocking a curious eyebrow.
My face felt warm and I grew defensive.
"If that's an indirect way of bringing up my embarrassing childhood obsession with Sasuke, then that's a low blow…everyone knows he has an amazing personality."
"Of course of course, Mr. Konoha Pageant, I remember."
We both burst out in a fit of laughter. It was not often I could confide in a friend my most devious thoughts I could never dare say to anyone else.
"I-I feel guilty. L-let us s-stop, Sakura!" he stammered through a red face.
"YOU'RE the one who brought it up again!" I exclaimed, trying to calm the aching in my stomach.
We both took swigs of deep breaths before we regained our composure and realized we probably looked like mentally disturbed patients. Mirth aside, Lee had the ability melt away my stress and keep anything we talked about to himself so long as I did the same. It was our opportunity to release some steam, a "bubble" where nothing could be used against us and we felt no pressure to be judged or agitated. We were simply there for each other.
"Okay okay, change of topic for your sake. What things are you teaching your students at the dojo?" I asked, wiping away a few tears that had formed from laughing so hard.
Lee tried to control his chuckles and failed miserably.
"Well…stop doing that face! Well, I am currently teaching them meditating techniques, although they are not too keen on staying still for long. They certainly brighten my day."
"Do you ever feel like strangling them?"
"Every day, Sakura."
Again, our attempts to regain our dignity failed seeing as how we were already on a roll from our last set of jokes.
Lee's eyes softened a bit once we were done and stopped to stare at me.
"Do you…do you ever think about having your own group of children?"
"Me? Oh no, I'm not even married, and the life of an unwed mother just seems too arduous for me-"
"I meant students." He interrupted before I could continue with my rant.
"Oh….OH! Well..maybe…I mean I'd like to train my own little medical henchmen, it's just that since it's such a hard field to get into and many drop out, it's hard you know? Most genin want to be outside doing missions instead of reading chemistry and anatomy books." I reasoned dejectedly.
"I see…makes sense." He stretched his arms and raised them to the sky.
"How about you? But children- I mean…I know you already have students. I'm talking about actual children children." I made sure to focus my question.
Lee tilted his head upwards along with his arms and took the opportunity to rub his neck and knuckles until they both let out a rewarding cracking sound.
"I would..I would enjoy them…but I am far from having what is necessary in a husband, let alone a father."
"And what do you consider necessary?"
"A better work schedule, to start. My day begins before dawn and ends very late at night. A house as well since I only have my apartment and refuse to be so unprepared. Better looks, better dating skills, better social skills…the list is rather long." He shot off the requirements without an ounce of hesitation or sense of self-pity. He was simply listing what he needed as though it were fact and he had no intention of caring for my reaction.
"Whaaa? The list can't possible include those many things!" I chided. "I think you'd do fine in a relationship…find a person who's as busy as you." I added jokingly.
Lee chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "It is that easy…"
"Plus, it's commendable that you'd want a house first, but you are social enough! And I think you're very handsome, don't act like girls haven't been peeking through the windows of the dojo while you're training without a shirt!" my teasing seemed to have no effect on Lee's disposition on the matter.
"They will stop looking the moment my physical qualities wane…I have no interest in that type of woman, believe me, they are more trouble than you think."
"Some have made you bento lunches…" I pointed out, trying to hide my slight envy for having someone who knew how to cook give away free food. "Just keep looking."
"Speaking of bento lunches, Tenten has accumulated the gall to ask a friend for an outing…she wishes for me to go as well…" he changed the subject.
"…That has nothing to do with bento lunches."
"Tenten insists on me accompanying her as though I was her older sibling or someone of the sort…I do not know where she got the audacity to ask Sai, of all people, on a romantic outing, but I wanted to ask you a favor..."
"Do you want me to be the fourth wheel?"
"Yes please, that would lessen the discomfort. They have chosen a bar, of all places."
Nothing else needed to be said. I could sense the desperation in his voice. I would not press the matter any further. I was not a fan of sake, seeing as how the smell was off-putting after I had the misfortune of working while my hung-over teacher reeked of it. We concluded our lunch and I was accompanied back to the hospital without further mention of the date that we would have to witness. I inwardly cringed and reminded myself that Lee would probably do the same for me.
We bumped elbows playfully on our way back, as if trying to make the other lose their balance.
I am not sure when it began or why. At some point in our friendship we became so casual that we began ending our lunch meetings with a wave, a nudge, a playful punch on the arm, or even a light hug. It did not strike me as the least bit romantic when we gave each other a squeeze on the shoulder or a quick embrace. Perhaps because I didn't pay any mind to any person who might be passing by and think differently of our physical contact. Both he and I knew what we were and we were both content knowing we had matured into adults who could have amicable relationships with members of the opposite sex. He had Tenten, for example, and I had the endearing idiots, the Uchiha and the Hokage. There was nothing wrong with eating lunch with a friend every now and then.
Nothing at all.
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I met up with Lee and our friends later that night, each of us looking ready to relax and forget about the day's stress. Tenten's dark circles underneath her eyes were the telltale signs that she should have picked an earlier time for a date in order to sleep. Even if the bar was not exactly up to club standards, it still boasted a hefty amount of people waiting in line. I was thankful that our party had made reservations.
I felt a light nudge on my shoulder.
Lee motioned for me to enter the door as he held it open for me.
I smiled and grabbed his arm to pull him in with me.
The music that was muffled outside now assaulted my ears on full volume as we both closed the door behind us. I could barely make out anyone's words as they moved their lips. Tenten had an exciting expression with wide eyes and grabbed my hands to tell me something.
I laughed and shook my head, hoping that she understood my helplessness regarding her unheard voice.
Sai had the face of a frightened cat as he was met with the onslaught of the bar scene. Disorienting lights, the clattering of highballs, and the deafening music left him with an overdose of stimuli that he could not control. He was not enjoying himself and I was somehow getting sadistic satisfaction from his obvious discomfiture.
I was thankful that we were seated at a private table, seeing as how it seemed a massive improvement over having another person's perspiration on your arms as they squeezed past you.
I shuddered at the thought and began to look over the menu drink items as a curvy and well endowed waitress carrying two trays of empty glasses came to take our order. She had a pleasant enough smile, save for heavy eye makeup, but I assumed that was part of the work charm. Her breasts jiggled violently with each step she took, it was almost entrancing. The skirt she wore did not possess enough length to cover the firm curves of her lower buttocks, much to the delight of male and some female passerbys.
I turned my attention over to my male companions.
Sai seemed absorbed in the drink menu, listening intently to Tenten as she explained through the thick beats of the music what ingredients were used for each drink.
I glanced over to Lee, whose face was lowered, but not because he was looking at the menu.
His face had a streak of crimson across it, and using his hands to support his forehead did little to hide it from my view.
I ordered my drink and thanked the waitress politely. A job was a job, I thought, and I was not about to treat someone differently based on what they wore.
'I wish I had those boobs.' I thought longingly.
She briskly turned to Lee, her chest and red hair swinging in one beautiful synchronized move.
This only served to make him lower his head even more.
The woman smiled and peered through his fingers.
The gentleman simply gestured with his finger what drink he wanted and offered her a large bill, motioning again that he would be buying everyone's drinks.
She nodded her head and looked questioningly at the bill in front of her, motioning with her own body language that both her hands were carrying trays. She cocked an eyebrow suggestively and laughed. The sound could be heard through the music as she insinuated that Lee tuck the money between her breasts. She straightened her back and leaned toward him, revealing more of her enticing pieces of flesh. Lee's mouth slowly began to drop in disbelief at her antics, but carefully slid the bill on the table, and held his hands up to make it known he would do not such thing to her.
The woman laughed again, slightly confused, yet understanding of his embarrassment and excused herself short after taking the orders of our two other teammates.
Pride and newfound respect swelled within me for this man.
I found myself leaning my head on his shoulder from the sheer sweetness of it all.
I felt his shoulder sink as he tried to shake me off. He had a perturbed face and did not want to be touched at the moment.
I fought back a giggle and realized Lee had probably never experienced those types of advances before.
His innocence only served to make him more endearing in my eyes.
"Your face is red, you know!?" I nearly screeched in his ear, hoping he'd hear me.
He turned to face me and shrug.
"I did not realize!" he admitted dryly.
Lee did not say anything more for a few long minutes and continued to look at the menu as though he had not ordered anything.
"I think she likes you!" I teased, trying desperately to break the awkward silence.
He placed the menu back on the table with an annoyed face and turned to me.
"That is a possibility, considering we slept together a few weeks ago!" he yelled back, although in a lower voice to be out of the earshot of our two other friends.
I opened my mouth to reply, but something got lodged in my throat. My face burned with this new piece of information that I never expected to hear from him. I tried to swallow, but found it akin to passing a spoonful of sand.
He smiled at me and shrugged.
"My apologies. You look surprised." He said, trying to dismiss the situation.
My shocked expression only served to provide him with more material to tease me. He began to laugh and motioned for me to say something to him.
I would do no such thing.
My eyes could do nothing but stare at the menu the same way he was a few seconds prior to devastating me. I could feel his gaze pierce my body. His hand rested on my shoulder, rubbing it in an effort to coax me out of my sudden change of mood.
I slapped his hand off and tried to keep my focus on the menu, table, people-ANYTHING other than what he had just told me.
"Sakura, what is the matter? You-"
Before Lee could finish his confused accusation, the waitress came back with an array of colorful frozen drinks that I could only guess was Sai's doing. Tenten had probably told him how "all" the drinks were good due to her nervousness and made him curious to try almost the entire menu. The redhead gave me my mixed concoction and winked at Lee as she grabbed the bill and used her free hand to slip it between her cleavage. He burst out laughing from the classy antic and finally managed to say something to the woman, much to my chagrin.
The woman (who had somehow made her way to my list of people I suddenly detested for no reason in particular) seemed to be giggling and leaned forward to say something to the man I had so much respect for up until a few seconds ago. I was sandwiched between two couples who completely eschewed me and my discomfort. Tenten's chattering could be heard even with Sai between us. I pushed my drink away from me in disgust, watching as a few frozen drops spilled from the glass and stained the napkin underneath.
A darker realization dawned over me as I watched my once vivid drink slowly melt into unappetizing grey colored syrup.
I found myself feeling…
Hurt.
I had no right to expect Lee to still fawn over me. I had no right to expect him to see me and not change over the years. I had no right to keep him in an emotional state that I had no intention of reciprocating. I had no right to ask anything of Lee or expect him to behave in a certain way around me or away from me. That was not right and it was rather selfish of me. It was his life and he could do with it what he liked same as I did. But this new feeling of seeing him talk to this woman he had slept with…it…it irked me.
I then decided to change plans.
"Lee." I called out the man's name, motioning with my hand to lean closer to me.
He immediately reacted to his name and held his index finger up to the lady in question in an effort to excuse himself momentarily. I felt the warmth emanating from his body as he inched closer to me in order to hear me in this crowded area.
"Yes, Sakura?"
I made sure to lean as close to his ear as possible, to the point where it looked like I was giving him a kiss on the cheek. The act was almost shameless, I admitted, but there was something about that woman that left me with an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach.
"Do you want to get out of here? It's so stuffy and I can't even hear anyone!" I said loudly, hoping my words would be heard.
Lee's eyes went wide with acknowledgement and nodded.
"You wish to leave?! Then allow me to accompany you!" he seemed to yell back as he slipped off the stool and waited for me to repeat the movement.
The woman's once cheerful disposition changed drastically to an unpleased scowl decorating her face when Lee's back was turned towards her. It was undoubtedly aimed at me and I could feel her glares as I got off the chair. Her full lips were now thinly pressed together, making it seem as though they would disappear inside her mouth at any moment. I was behaving in a rather childish manner that was going unnoticed by everyone except the woman. She crossed her arms over her chest and tapped Lee's shoulder in an attempt to get his attention once more. He turned around and was met with the woman holding both her hands palms up, as if asking why he was moving.
He leaned forward and said something I could not hear into her ear. I felt my face flare up without any warning. Her own face, however, turned into a pouty one as she shook her head like a little girl who had to leave her favorite toy. She motioned with her index finger and pointed down, as if to say, 'I want you to stay here'. Lee, however, being the gentleman that he was, merely held his palms up as well in a way that conveyed his neutrality over the situation.
I could swear I felt a smirk tug at my lips that I desperately tried to hide.
With a wave of his hand to the woman, he turned his back to her once again and began to guide me out of the bar, much to her disdain and that of Tenten. Sai seemed extremely focused on trying the rest of the menu to mind us.
As I opted to lead the way out of the crowded area, my hand instinctively cupped his and entwined my fingers in his.
I had hoped that woman had seen it.
We hastened our retreat and took a deep breath once a burst of fresh night air greeted us.
"Gah, I never thought I'd get out of there without suffocating!" I complained, stretching my now free hands up into the night sky. "It feels nice to be outside again."
He gave me a smile, one that seemed to humor me, and also stretched his arms.
"I agree. I am glad you said something, it felt awkward talking to that woman, I admit." He said sheepishly.
I snorted. "Right."
He gave me a puzzled look that was completely unaware of the death glares I had received.
"You do not approve of her?" he teased.
I shook my head and began to walk. "Honestly, I got a bad vibe from her…and she kept looking at me with this super evil face when you weren't looking."
"Are you sure you were not glaring at her as well, Sakura?" he half joked, knowing that I did not stand for disrespectful people.
"NO." I retorted flatly. "She was just being rude."
Lee sighed in an agitated manner and raised an eyebrow. "You are the one encouraging me to keep on looking for a girl…"
"Just not that one..." I corrected smugly.
"You are impossible to please."
"I don't ask for much! I just want you to date a nice girl who has the best intentions!"
"Sakura…do you want to date me?"
The unexpected, yet passive sounding question forced my banter to a halt as Lee's stoic expression met my shocked one. I searched his serious face for a trace of amusement over the possible joke, but I found none. Panic and flatter dominated my emotions at that moment. It was not as though I was completely opposed to the idea, rather, it seemed like something that had lost its possibility of it happening long ago and I had embraced the reality of it. But the possibility was directly in front of me, in the form of Lee waiting on my answer.
I swallowed.
"Um…that caught me off guard…sorry. Wow…well…I…I'd like that." I admitted. "Sure…let's go out!"
It was Lee's turn to be taken back in bewilderment.
His new expression was one of embarrassment.
"I-I…I apologize for not wording that correctly, Sakura. I was…asking if you were interested in me that way….I suppose that is a moot point now."
I felt my face warm up as thought it was near a furnace.
'Stupid.' I berated myself.
Lee's hands suddenly tried to reach out, but kept their distance, as if I were a delicate glass vase ready to fall.
"Oh, Sakura, please forgive me, I did not word it well enough. I am a tactless fool, please forgive me. Do not have that look on your face, please!" he supplicated as though I were bawling.
I was not crying, although in all honesty I felt like I was blinking back a stinging sensation. It was not because I had been rejected, it was not that at all. It was the simple fact that I felt a wave of humiliation wash over me that I could not ignore.
"No no, it's…it's okay…sorry, I didn't mean it like that either…"
"Sakura, you cannot just….do that after all these years!"
"Excuse me? You are the one who can't even find the correct way to ask a question!"
"When did this happen?! What made you change your mind?!" The tone in his voice changed drastically as he grew desperate.
"About what?"
"Is that question really necessary? What made you change your mind about us?" he demanded to know urgently.
"I'm not sure actually…it just kind of happened after getting to know you and spending more time with you."
"Why didn't we do it sooner?! As I recall, up until a year and a half ago I was still trying to court you!" he said, the feeling of exasperation evident in his voice.
I could not blame him for feeling as if all his arduous work had paid off when he no longer had need of the reward.
"Because…I don't know. I was stupid. I just didn't have those types of feelings for you back then…" I tried in vain to explain.
"Why?" he asked rather defensively.
"I just felt like I didn't know you well enough, to be honest. You were just this teammate who casually professed his love every chance he got…how can I take that seriously when there were other things on my plate?" I challenged, putting my hands up in mock surrender and shrugging.
Lee's eyes pierced my own, as if making certain that I was telling the truth. I feared what he had originally thought was my reason.
"….Fair enough, I suppose." He said calmly.
"I know you better now…I know that you are really funny, that you don't like winter as much as summer, that you were also bullied as a child like I was, I know that you're not a picky eater and you particularly enjoy spicy curry…lots of things that I could not have possibly known had we not started eating lunch together." I tried to assuage the awkward situation by explaining why exactly, I had begun to like him.
"I just…I do not appreciate that you did not tell me sooner."
"Well, I didn't realize it myself until I realized it would suck if you started dating…and by that, I don't mean that I didn't want to be alone or I wanted you to myself…I just eventually saw myself dating you and I came to the conclusion that I really wanted that. Simple." I said, trying to sound apologetic.
Lee's heavy and annoyed sigh could have been heard a block away, the way he ran his hands through his hair in an anxious manner only made him look all the more attractive. Although I felt like this news had fallen on him like a responsibility he had not been expecting to receive and loathed it, he did not appear livid with me, if anything he appeared confused and bothered. He was the kind of man whose good looks and body build were more noticeable when he was anxious, since he flexed his biceps when he rubbed his neck, lowered his upset face as he rested his arms akimbo and stared down at the floor so I could see the outlines of a fine back, and crossed his arms so I could see every tendon and vein his body used.
It made me bite the corner of my bottom lip.
"Sakura, this…this is not fair…" he said pitifully.
"Well," I took myself out of my sensual trance, "…you waited for me for years…I'm willing to do the same for you."
"Do not say that, you only make me feel worse."
"But it's the truth! I don't mind…and if you feel like those feelings for me are gone for good, then oh well, at least I got it off my chest, you know?"
"The feelings I have for you are not the problem, Sakura…they are irrelevant …I just did not…I did not think I would have to worry about this type of situation down the road seeing as how I simply beat it into my head that it would never happen."
"But it DID happen! It's happening right now! And we can act on it!" I tried ardently to encourage him by gathering his hands in mine.
He stared at our clasped hands like someone was handing him a strange new food. He was wary, and rightfully so, of me.
"I'll be…I'll be a good girlfriend. I'll train with you, I'll visit you at your dojo on your breaks, and I'll even eat that nasty curry you love so much!" It seemed my supplication knew no sense of dignity once I realized there was the possibility that Lee, regardless of how he felt, could still reject me.
I found that to be a reality I could not bear.
Lee continued to look at our hands, bereft of any words or actions.
"I…was not ready. I..it just…sounds like it would not work between us…"
"And who says it won't? Lee, I know that I would try my damn hardest to make it work. How can I not after all I've put you through?"
"But what if I am still not what you want?"
"You are." I assured.
He furrowed his eyebrows and pulled his hands away from mine.
"Sakura…I wish to go home and clear my head…"
I felt my chest tighten, but I tried to muster a smile. He had every right to be confused and hurt over my behavior and I had no right to be upset with him.
"Sure…I think we should head out anyway…it's getting late." I mumbled.
He had every right to behave in whatever way he saw fit.
It was my turn to feel powerless and unrequited.
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The walk back was a silent one; there weren't any of the usual jokes interchanged, none of the friendly punches, teasing, and relaxing atmosphere that I had grown accustomed to when I was with lee. It almost made me wish we had never talked of our prior subject. It felt more comfortable to be borderline best friends. I was thankful that his house was closer to us than mine. It would give me plenty of time to think of the many ways I could hide in my apartment in embarrassment until this blew over.
"I will accompany you to your apartment first." The older man stated.
It seemed he could read my mind and not my mortification.
"It's okay. I can walk the rest by myself." I muttered.
"Nonsense, it is not proper for you to accompany me and leave me first." He gave me no decision on the matter.
"I…I could use the time alone to think…really, it's okay." I tried to say firmly, my already dissipated patience was wearing thin.
We had reached his apartment door that (unluckily for me) was on the first floor next to the street.
"You can think alone once I drop you off safely." He pressed on adamantly.
"No. I want to walk alone." I said through clenched teeth.
Lee gave me a pestered look and shook his head.
"It would not be right for me to let you leave alone." He replied sternly.
"Look. You're not my boyfriend and I can take care of myself! So stop assuming I need you to accompany me because 'it's right'!" I snapped suddenly.
"I never said I was! I simply wished to-"
I gave him no time for any explanations the moment the first five words came out of his mouth. My legs began to walk on their own accord and any interest I had in listening to him was left at his doorstop. It was awkward enough to walk with him all this way, it would be torture if I had to stomach him all the way to my home.
"Sakura!" he exclaimed in a scolding tone, grabbing my arm, and refusing to let me go. "Stop behaving in such a manner, I would think you would have matured more since you have had over a decade to know I do not like being ignored."
"I do not want to talk to you anymore, let me go. You said you wanted time to think, well so do I."
"No."
I felt my face flush with anger at his gall.
"Lee, I can and will punch you." I warned, readying my free hand into a tight fist.
He took notice of the fist, but did not hesitate nor budge. His free hand reached out carefully towards me while his other loosened its grip on my arm as if preparing to defend himself.
I was not expecting the embrace that resulted from one arm encircling my waist.
Nor was I expecting the rough kiss that followed.
He gave me no time to process the act.
His mouth simply crashed into mine and would not allow me the decency of deciding whether I enjoyed it or not. It denied me a reaction.
Not like I had one.
His other hand released my fist completely and I felt it tenderly cup the back of my head. It was at this point where I managed to part my lips and allow his more freedom. My own free hands managed to wrap themselves around his neck as I tried to fervently deepen the kiss and convey as much of my emotions into it. I heard him release an erotic sounding moan against my mouth when I pulled at his hair to bring our bodies closer together. His chest was pressed against mine, his hands rubbing my back and lumbar region, when I felt one of his firm legs find its way between my two feeble ones. I leaned my weight on him, forcing our riled bodies to slam against his closed apartment door. One hand snaked its way below my shirt, seizing the skin that lay underneath the cloth without hesitation.
There was a sense of urgency in his unchaste actions, a kind of dauntless desperation that I had only witnessed on the battlefield where one's physical prowess was pushed beyond its limits. This was a side of Lee I was not used to seeing, but that excited me all the same. His body was demanding, his moans enticing, the stiffness in his midsection refusing to be ignored. We parted lips long enough for him to frantically search for his keys while I littered his neck with longing kisses and unexpected bites that elicited the most deliciously indecent sounds I had heard from him.
In one swift movement, he opened the door, flung his keys into the dark room, practically yanked me inside his apartment, and slammed the door closed before he crashed our own bodies against it yet again. I did not give my body the luxury to think, preferring instead to help Lee out of his shirt and pants as he did the same with my clothes.
Our eyes met in the midst of this moment and all we could do was smile at each other in the nearly black room.
He cocked his head to the side and leaned forward, allowing me another opportunity connect our lips. The kiss was still every bit as zealous as the man himself, but it was slower, more seductive and amorous. It was familiar, yet nothing of what I expected out of such a gentle looking person. As if I to prove my point, his arms made short work of my weight as they supported my behind and lifted my body off the ground. Again, my arms encircled his neck as my legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. I felt him walk through the dark apartment, seeing as how our current actions had taken precedence over turning on the light switch.
His arms momentarily set me down gently on what felt like a soft bed. I heard him fidget around the room and quickly open a drawer, probably looking for what we both knew we needed. The wrinkling of a wrapper was heard. Within seconds, I felt his weight return next to me on the bed as he reached out to embrace me once more.
"Come here, love." He murmured.
I happily indulged his request with a smile.
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My heavy eyelids refused to stir me from my sleep the following morning. I turned my body a bit to the side, expecting the weight of the body next to me to move as well or for a strong body to embrace me from behind.
There was no movement aside from my own on the bed.
I opened my eyes and realized I was alone.
I sat upright and found myself in a completely unfamiliar bedroom. A wardrobe and drawer decorated two corners of the room while some exercising equipment like weights and nunchaku decorated the others. My body felt out of place among all these objects. I pulled the bed sheets off from me and proceed to look for my clothes…only to realize we had dropped and thrown various pieces of our garments around different areas of an apartment I had never stepped foot in. I realized then that I needed something to cover me so I pulled and wrapped the sheets around me and created a makeshift dress with a train that dragged on the floor everywhere I went.
The lack of noises made me feel a surge of panic.
Had Lee left? Where had he gone off to? Why did he leave me alone knowing his apartment was not familiar to me?
I peered out the bedroom door to find a small living room with nothing but a sofa leaned against the wall with a small table near it. As I suspected, Lee was a man with little need of physical objects. The sound of the bed sheet dragging itself across the living room could be heard as I dragged it to where I assumed was the entrance. Again, the man I was looking for was not in the kitchen, he was not anywhere near his apartment, I feared.
Confused and dejected, I made my way back to the bedroom, all while searching for my clothes that we had callously thrown into the dark rooms the prior night. It was when I sat back down on the bed when I heard a door unlock. The heavy shuffling of feet could be heard as a fridge door opened and the clanking sound of bottles followed suit. My face flushed at the thought of Lee finding me in such a disheveled state. I had managed to find my undergarment and dress, but my bra was nowhere to be seen.
The footsteps were getting closer in proximity until I saw the doorknob turn. My heart was in my head.
I was greeted with the scene of a perspiring and panting Lee holding on to his leg weights while two water bottles were tucked under his free arm.
"Good morning…" he finally said.
"…Hi…" I muttered, wrapping the bed sheets tighter around my naked body.
His expression was serious and unfriendly as he nudged my arm with a cool bottle littered with condensation.
"Th-thank you." I murmured as I accepted the bottle.
It was not until Lee had dumped his weights in the corner of the room and was throwing his dirty clothes in a hamper that I found my temper.
"Where were you?" I demanded to know.
He turned his head over to look at me as he slipped out of his training shirt.
"I was training…" he said flatly.
"I didn't know where you were…why did you leave?" I felt my face continue to burn.
"I know that you enjoy sleeping in…and I always train with my students every morning, my presence was mandatory since they also sacrifice sleep in order to train…" he explained tonelessly and with little patience for my questions.
"…but…well, you could have at least woke me up before you left…I was worried…" I tried to remarked with a neutral voice, but found it cracking.
Lee had stripped down to his boxer briefs and opened his closet to grab a towel.
"I did not think it necessary…" he replied.
I was beginning to sense the obvious apathy towards the reasons why I was upset.
"…I…I am going to take a shower…would you like to join me?" the question was asked with no sexual insinuation; it was simply an enervated Lee offering me something like a bottle of water.
"No." I retorted, "I'm going home."
I saw his muscled shoulders sink as he let out a sigh. "Sakura, I am tired, it was a rather trying morning and I am still required to attend my other trainings in the afternoon as well as evening. You are more than welcome to stay here until I return if you wish to talk, but if you wish to leave, then I cannot stop you. If you would prefer me accompanying you, please give me a few minutes to be presentable."
"I want to talk now! What is wrong with you!?" I asked, obviously insulted.
He released a groan as he closed the bathroom door, leaving me with my unanswered questions. I heard the screeching sound of a shower head being turned on and I left momentarily alone in my enraged state. I pulled the covers off my body and began to dress myself. My bra was still nowhere to be found, but I did not care at this point. I simply wanted to get out of a situation where I was being treated like a nuisance.
Because that's how I felt like at the moment.
A nuisance.
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After something that resembled the Walk of Shame back to my apartment, I found myself huddled in a bathtub filled to the brim with soapy water. It hurt to sit down due to last night's occurrences, but I was craving to be cleansed. I could not stand knowing my skin had touched any part of his bed or apartment. There was no reason to say I had felt taken advantage of, considering I had used Lee's body to fulfill my needs as well, but why did I feel like I had gotten the short end of the stick after last night?
'Oh, I don't know…maybe because you pretty much had a one night stand with a guy who seems to show no interest in dating you after years of making it clear you had no interest in him?' I berated myself mentally.
But all this chiding would not benefit me or make me realize that perhaps I would never be able to talk to Lee normally after this….if at all.
A distant knock on my door stirred me from my bout of self-pity. My stomach sank to my feet and I found myself practically slipping on the tub as I scrambled to get out. For a woman about to face certain rejection, the alacrity I possessed proved that I did not care. I hoped that it was Lee, it was night time, after all. I quickly dried myself off and put on my sleeping shirt and pants. My arid throat tried to swallow moisture that it did not have as I looked through the peep hole. Sure enough, the man I wanted to see was standing with a bag under his arm.
I nearly twisted off the door knob in my excitement and shameless state to be greeted with the bag the moment I opened the bag.
"Here are the rest of your clothes you forgot." He stated dryly.
My chest throbbed at the sound of his detached voice.
I accepted the bag with hesitance.
"Th-thank you…" I murmured.
Again, I heard Lee sigh for what seemed like the umpteenth time.
"Sakura…look, I also came to apologize…"
I felt a surge of joy within me and hugged the paper bag close to my chest, crinkling it in the process.
"I'm..I'm sorry too.."
"Do not apologize. I feel like I took advantage of you without making sure of what I felt for you…"
Something in my body ripped, my breathing hitched to a halt, and I felt a pricking sensation in my eyes. Here I was stupidly thinking he had come to apologize for leaving me alone in his apartment knowing I wanted to wake up with him.
I tried to speak, but could only nod.
"I am sorry…"
Again, I merely nodded.
Lee's hands reached out to me in attempt to hold me, but retreated a few steps back, paper bag crinkling violently as I pressed it harder against my chest.
"Just leave…" I pleaded.
"Please do not be like this…I cannot stand losing you…anyone but you." He supplicated, his voice turning soft.
"So…" my voice shook as I fought back my quivering body, "I am good enough to have casual sex with, but not good enough for the truth?"
He released another heavy sigh. "Please do not view it like that, Sakura…I do not want us to lose our friendship over this while I gather my thoughts…"
"You used me, Lee." I stated, muffling a sob into the bag as I buried my face in it.
Again, he tried to reach his arms toward me, but I rejected the advances as soon as I felt his skin touch mine. It was like touching a red hot coal. Lee was not known for giving up easily, however, and took advantage of my blocked eyes currently crying into the paper bag.
I felt his arms firmly take hold of my body in an embrace.
I struggled in my feeble state, but he was adamant on keeping me in his arms.
"Please Sakura…do not hate me…I would not be able to bear that. I am sorry that I am such a coward…"
I felt his lips against my forehead and cheeks and hands. I refused to look up and simply accepted the odd treatment. His words and actions left me confused and grateful.
I truly had no dignity left when it came to this man.
I lifted my head and leaned in to capture his mouth in mine.
For a moment, it seemed as though Lee responded well to my act, giving ample attention to kiss my teary eyes and moist cheeks before returning to claim my lips. My hands grew restless and dropped the paper bag, opting instead to caress his neck and face. His own wrapped themselves tightly around me, as if to convey his apology physically. It was my turn to guide him through my own apartment as we pulled at our clothes until we were in my bedroom. I was no longer thinking once again, the only thing that captivated my attention was the man in front of me currently wearing nothing but a lustful expression on his face.
I let out a small squeal as we fell awkwardly on my bed, Lee pulling me over him so I could straddle him.
It was not until I began to move my hips that he began to break away from the contact. It was as if he had broken out of a trance.
"Sakura…stop…" he uttered.
"What's the matter?"
"We…we cannot do this…" he said through heavy pants.
"Why not?" I asked, my voice heavy with need.
"You will regret this later…"
"I'm a grown woman, Lee…"
"I can see that.." he pointed out, a slight smirk tugging at his lips as his eyes looked over my body on top of him. "I…I apologize, Sakura…I came to talk and then this happened…I did not-"
"-Don't apologize." I ordered, "I want this."
I proceeded to kiss his neck, but he began to lift my body off him as gently as he could and set me beside him.
"But I do not…I wish to talk…" he explained.
"It's…okay…I'm not expecting this to turn into a relationship…I kind of figured that much out last night…" I confessed, crossing my arms in an attempt to hide my chest. "So..I don't mind.."
"Sakura…I am a coward," he turned his body to face me and used his elbow to support his upper body. It gave me a tantalizing view of every inch of muscle. "It is not that I do not feel anything for you…I am afraid of this not working out and we part ways…I would much rather have your friendship instead of love because of that."
I copied his pose as I also turned to my side to face him.
"Who says we won't work out?" I asked softly.
"I do not know…I am frightened of that possibility…" he admitted, using one hand to caress my arm. "When I woke up and saw you…I was happy…but deathly afraid of what would happen afterwards…so like a coward, I took a step away from the situation by leaving you alone, and I am sorry for that."
I shrugged. "It's okay…I wasn't awake for that long when you returned…although I was pretty confused why you were so distant.."
"Sakura…come here." He stated quietly as he opened his arms for me.
I smiled and practically burrowed myself into his embrace.
"Lee…" I breathed into his chest.
"Sakura…you have become my best friend…and I would love to have you as a partner. But…if we ended because of something foolish I did, I would not be able to stand losing both if I lost you."
"Then don't lose me."I replied simply. "Just be yourself, as you always have been, around me. Say the same things, do the same things, and stop thinking we'll fail because that's not in my plans."
I nuzzled his chest and I felt his arms tighten around my bare body.
"Just act the same, then?" he asked, sounding bewildered at how simple it sounded.
"Yes, just imagine everything we have done together…but add sex at the end of the day."
"That…that sounds wonderful." He laughed.
"We'll do fine…" I assured him.
He nodded and kissed the top of my head. "All right…I believe you."
His hands rubbed soothing circles on my back.
"Stop that…I'm still turned on." I warned, my arousal growing from his touch.
He chuckled and kissed my shoulder while his hands continued the massage.
"…I love you…"
My body tensed up as I heard those unexpected words.
This man had no sense of timing.
The time span in which he said and did things was erratic and would catch any female off guard.
I wondered if he knew how odd he sounded.
"I am sorry…that was out of line, was it not?" he asked, trying to hide his embarrassment.
"Lee…we became friends after I made it clear I didn't want a relationship with you, we slept together, and then decided to go out…I don't think anything we've done so far has been in order." I said jokingly. "It was just…unexpected."
He chuckled and pulled me on top of him once more.
"Then I am in the mood for more disorder…" he said, his voice taking a deeper, more insinuating tone.
I happily obliged, giggling as his fingers trailed over my stomach and lower back.
"You are insatiable, Lee." I teased.
He stopped his actions and stared at me in a moment of confusion.
"We do not have to if you do not wish-"
"It's okay. If you recall, I'm the one who instigated this…" I said, emphasizing my point by moving my hips and eliciting a moan from him. "Just…do me a favor?"
"Anything." He replied breathlessly.
"Let's wake up together, okay?"
He nodded shakily.
"I will be here for you, now and always."
Those were his last coherent words before his instincts took over.
Much to my delight.
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