Title: When Thugs Go Drinking
Characters: Abarai, Hisagi, Iba, Madarame
Rating: M
Warning: Violence and language.
Summary: The thugs just wanted to go out and have a quiet beer. Catch up. Enjoy a nice, calm night of getting plastered out of their skulls. Fate, however, had different plans
Author's Note: Written for Virgo1, in response to a request of hers.
Disclaimer: I am not Kubo Tite, thus I do not own Bleach. I do not own these characters. I am only borrowing them for my own enjoyment.

When you got enough alcohol in Kosumi Minuzo he only wanted to do one thing, and that was fight. Granted, if you managed to keep him seated and pump a bit more into him he became so sloppy that he passed out right at the table and his companions could cheerily continue their rounds in peace, without worrying about their light-weight and fight-happy friend earning them a free ass-beating.

However, there were irrepressible nights when Kosumi refused to be subdued, and was so pugnacious and tedious that one of his companions came close to clocking him. When he got like that they let him up to pick his fight and sat back. If things got too bad they stepped in and tried to keep him from getting his spleen handed to him, but if he picked a fight with someone who he could obviously take they sat back and enjoyed the show. Kosumi may have been a drunk but he was a damned good fighter. Eight times out of ten he came out on top.

They came to the bar with the intention to relax, kick back and catch up. Two had been gone entirely too long and had war stories to share, as well as a few rounds to buy their buddies. The other two had official business to catch their friends up on, but that could wait until later--they were much more interested in hearing about their friends venture into the human world. Iba Tetsuzaemon and Hisagi Shuuhei envied Abarai Renji and Madarame Ikkaku--the latter two had gotten to battle Arrancar as well as eat Hello Panda (a treat entirely too hard to find in Soul Society, and frankly Iba and Hisagi were a little miffed the two hadn't brought back any, the bastards).

So, for once, the last thing on the thugs collective consciousness was fighting. In all honestly all Ikkaku and Renji wanted to do was get plastered and gloat over their battles. Both had planned to get two sheets to the wind (or three...or four...depending on how much money Iba and Hisagi coughed up), pad their stories with a fair bit of filler in which they kicked lots of ass, and then pass out.

However, in an unfortunate turn of events, Iba had chosen the same bar that Kosumi Minuzo and his friends were drinking at. Of course, Iba had no idea who Kosumi was, nor did he care. Even if he had known what was going to happen he wouldn't have picked a different bar--the barmaid at this place was particularly hot, flirted shamelessly with Iba, and wore a garter with no panties. Iba had decided that this bar was heaven and he refused to go anywhere else.

However, Hisagi came to regret Iba's choice as he went up to order another round from the male bar hand (since the bar maid was on break and both she and Iba had disappeared). So he was buying the next round (only three beers this time, let the lucky bastard buy his own damned drink when he was done getting lucky).

Kosumi lounged back in his chair, tipping back the last of his beer and eyeing the bar as he contemplated getting another drink. Standing on shaky legs he stumbled to the bar, knocking Hisagi, who was shorter and slighter than him, out of the way.

"Oi. Gemme 'nother."

Hisagi shot him a dark look, mouth tight as he turned back to the counter to retrieve his drinks.

"Hey. 'Chu glarin' at?"

"Nothin'." The tiny guy (Kosumi was about a head taller than him and a great deal heavier) didn't look at him as he balanced the three glasses in his hands. Kosumi glared and swiped at his drinks, grabbing one and knocking the other two out of his hands to crash to the floor.

"This'n's mine."

Hisagi stared at him, his gaze growing dark, fingers curling into his palms as he watched Kosumi take a large gulp of his beer. Kosumi grinned, finishing off the drink and slamming it on the counter.

"'s the itty boy mad?" Kosumi grabbed Hisagi by the neck of his shirt and hauled him forward, belching in his face. "Wouldn' try anyfin' if I were ya, itty boy, er ya'll get yer ass kicked."

Ikkaku and Renji, having looked up to see Hisagi dropping their drinks, stood slowly as Kosumi grabbed their friend, both ready to jump in and pound the shit out of Kosumi (mostly for making Hisagi drop the beer but a little for getting rough with their buddy). However, when they made their way to join them Hisagi glanced at them, shaking his head just slightly. Ikkaku and Renji, both fighters, understood--Hisagi claimed the rights to kicking this guys ass. So they meandered over to the bar, propping themselves against it and ordering more drinks. They wanted to make sure they had a good view of the ass-whipping.

To say that Kosumi was worried would have been a lie--he was heavier than Hisagi, he was taller, and he was stronger (in his mind). The boy had barely exited puberty, though the abundance of the tattoos suggested an overcompensation that made Kosumi grin. This kid was trying to be a bad-ass--too bad he didn't have the bulk to back it up.

Hisagi suddenly grabbed the man's arm, pressing his fingers between the tendons on the inside of Kosumi's wrist and applying pressure. Kosumi wrenched his hand from Hisagi's grip and made to hit Hisagi, enraged that a man half his size was trying to hurt him. Hisagi stepped back and to the side, letting the other man's acceleration throw him off balance and bringing the heel of his hand down to the spot where the base of his neck connected with his spine. In the same movement he balanced his weight on one leg and stuck the other out to sweep under the other man's legs so that the downward force of his hand, the jerking of his feet from under Kosumi, and the law of gravity would all work together. Kosumi fell flat on his face, jumping up almost instantly to wrap his arms around Hisagi's neck.

Shuuhei gagged, shifting his weight until he'd managed to maneuver one leg behind Kosumi's. He leveled a kick at the inside of the man's knees, then brought his elbow up, slamming it into the bridge of Kosumi's nose. Blood spilled onto the floor as Kosumi swore violently, letting Hisagi go. Hisagi bounced on the balls of his feet, a slow smile stretching across his normally neutral expression. He grinned, bringing his hands up to guard his face lazily. Kosumi wasn't going to give him much of a fight but it felt damn good to be dishing out a few hits.

By now, however, Kosumi's companions had started to get up. They hadn't bothered to move when Kosumi had first engaged Hisagi--the guy was tiny, and most figured it would be a one-hit deal. Kosumi would have his fighting out of him for the night and everyone would be happy.

Who the hell would figure that the slight man could knock a man twice his size to his knees?! Of all the people for Kosumi to pick to fight...

"All right, let's break this up, buddy." One of Kosumi's friends shoved Hisagi's shoulder to try and move him away from Kosumi. Hisagi pulled away then swung, connecting hard with the guy's jaw, hearing a satisfying crack as the bone gave way to the force of his punch.

"Hey! The fuck!" The second of Kosumi's friends tackled Hisagi, socking him hard in the solar plexis and the throat. Hisagi gagged, bringing his hands up to block the next punch, but before it could fall the man was forced off Hisagi by a bare foot kicking the man in the shoulder. He fell to the side as Ikkaku grinned down at him, rolling his shoulders. Renji, rolling his eyes, helped Hisagi to his feet.

"The hell is this shit?!" Iba stomped between the two groups before anyone else could make a move, glaring all around, his clothes askew. "The fuck?! I thought we were just havin' a quiet drink tonight?! If y'all were planning on fightin' ya could have at least waited for me!" And with that he launched himself at Kosumi, who'd started to stand, knocking out two of the man's teeth as he hit him. Ikkaku, grinning like his captain, joined the fray as Renji gave Hisagi a full glass of beer and in the same movement punched the man who'd started to stand.

Hisagi nodded, toasting Renji and Ikkaku's return before downing the beer in two gulps and tossing the glass at the bar, diving into the brawling bodies.