Norway was sleeping peacefully, until he heard something.

This something grew louder and louder, slowly pulling him out of his sleep. He opened his eyes tiredly, only to recognize the noise as snoring. He blinked. Was he snoring?

A noise from the corner of the bed proved that false. Half way to freaking out, he flipped on the light to see his fellow Nordic, Denmark, laying in his bed with no shirt, no shoes, and ripped up pants.

Growling, he punched Denmark in the back, "What're you doing here!"

"Wha-?"

Oh great, and he's drunk, too, "How did you get in my house?" Norway crossed his arms and glared at Denmark, who stared back with that airily stupid blank face you get when drunk.

"Okay. Here's the story in all its glory."

Norway prepared himself as Denmark continued, "I'm hangin' out with my fellow bad brothers. Yanno, England and Prussia, and we're boozin' it up and having a great time. And suddenly Prussia orders the boot."

"The boot?"

"The boot! The glass boot filled with beer that the Germans's's gots. So we're like 'WOO, BOOTS!'," he flopped around in the bed and Norway dodged his hand. Denmark continued, "When Prussia just stands up and SMASHES THE BARTENDER OVER THE HEAD WITH THE BOOT."

"Oh my god!"

"Oh my god is right! It was awesome, man, he was like, bleeding from the head and shit. But then he had to be a party pooper and call the cops."

"I would have called the cops, too!" Norway exclaimed, absolutely mortified.

"So the cops show up, and Prussia BOLTS IT, man, like, I haven't seen that guy run so fast in my LIFE. So I get in the car. Like, I'm piss ass drunk, but I'm used to it. So I get in the car to find Prussia, and he's runnin', and I'm drivin', and he's runnin' and finally I find him running on the side of the road in his underwear. I drive up next to him all slow and I'm like, 'Dude get in the car!' and he's all, 'NO MAN! I'mma be like Forrest Gump and run across Denmark man!' I mean, Denmark's not as big as America like Forrest did but c'mon, I ain't gunna ruin his dream, yanno?" he looked at Norway, as if asking him to reinforce his point.

A blank stare was all that came from the other man, "How did you get in my house?"

"Sh, I'm not done with the sto-"

"How. Did. You. Get. In. My. House?" Norway seethed.

"I dug a hole to your closet," Denmark grinned sweetly and Norway almost punched him again.

"How did you do that!"

"I call up France and Spain right? So we're standing outside your house and we start digging. Well, they start digging. Spain wouldn't give me the god damn hammer!"

"Why couldn't you just go home!"

"BECAUSE my house was being used for a criminal investigation!"

"Okay what!"

"That's not important right now!"

"I think it is-" he was silenced with a long finger going over his lips.

"Shh… I'm going to sleep now."

"You're not sleeping in my be- Denmark- Denmark!" Norway growled once more, and his eye twitched when he heard that insipid snoring.

"…I-I love you Norway."

"Whoa what?" Norway looked back at the sleeping drunkard.

"I love Norway!"

"No you don't," Norway glared at the wall.

"How do you know?"

"…I'm your conscious."

"WELL I THROW MY CONSCIOUS TO THE WIND!"

"You can't."

"…DENMARK ANGRY!" Denmark began to flounder about, smashing his fists into the wooden headboard and leaving Norway to scoot away cautiously.

Norway laid back down and let Denmark sleep talk. He just stared out the window all night and in the morning, when the sun was just barely starting to come onto the horizon, Norway witnessed two lizards making love on a leaf on the bush that was stationed just outside his window, and shut the blinds promptly.