A/N: This is only the first part, and I might change some of it. More coming whenever I get over my writer's block.
Disclaimer: 'My Hear Will Go On' does not belong to me, please don't sue!
Chronicles of the Final Battles #6 The Return
Prologue
Aximili looked up at the sky. The stars were shining brightly, which made him think of home.
The Andalites were coming. He had contacted them that morning.
Ax's thoughts wandered over the last few days. The Yeerks were gone. The human were safe. And Kay...Kay was dead.
That one human girl was for some reason always on Ax's mind. There was something about her. That voice, that smile, that light. Something about her attracted Ax like a magnet. He felt drawn to her. It was almost as if she was calling to him. He was devastated when she died, though he never showed it.
She seemed familiar, in a way. That defiant look in her eyes. The stubborness in her jaw. The courage in her heart. Ax felt like he had known her, long ago, in a faraway place.
Ax lay down with a sigh and closed his eyes. He needed to get some sleep. He had not slept at all the night before. She had been in his dreams.
He closed all four eyes, and dreamed.
A song filled this air. One he had heard only once. That first song he had danced to with Kay. Ax had never really liked human music, but this song was different, special. It reminded him so much of Kay.
Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel youThat is how I know you go on.
For a moment, Ax was back at that night, dancing with her in his arms.
Far across the distance and spaces between usYou have come to show you go on
Chapter One
I lay down on the grass, watching the sunset. I liked to come here to Tobias's meadow. It was a nice place.
HELLO, KAY.
"Ellimist." I sighed. The Ellimist came around once in a while to fill me in on the happenings in the third dimension.
When I first came here, I missed Earth a lot. It got easier with time, but I still liked to talk about it. That's why the Ellimist came around sometimes. Apparently his superiors were mad at him for helping the Animorphs and made sure he couldn't come in contact with anyone from the third dimension. This place isn't in the third dimension and he comes around simply because I'm the only one who'll listen to him.
The Ellimist isn't exactly a friend, but in a way he was the only friend I had. But he was a nuisance sometimes.
I focused my mind and the meadow faded away to reveal a formal room with a sofa set.
A blue portal opened, and he stepped out.
I raised my eyebrow. "Now you're Q?"
He grinned. "You like it? I found this character very interesting."
"You two certainly have a lot in common."
"I've go some big news for you."
"Did something happen?" I sat down.
He sat down and ran his hand along the chair fabric. "Nice silk, but you need to work on your decorating skills."
"What do you want?" I hated it when anyone criticized my fashion tastes.
"Touchy, touchy."
"Are you trying to act human again?"
"I find your culture interesting. As to your question, I came here to give you a choice."
"I don't think so."
"You haven't even heard it yet!"
"I'm not interested in any of your little games."
"But this isn't my proposal."
"Fine. What's your big news?"
"That's more like it! What do you want more than anything in the world?"
He answered for me. "You want to be alive again."
"And you can do that?" I laughed.
"Not in the way you mean. Creatures die all the time. After a soul leaves its body, the body remains alive for a few moments. If another soul enters it, the body will live."
"Are you saying you'll do that for me?"
"Yes."
"What's the catch?"
"There's no catch!"
"Of course there is. You would never do something for me if you didn't want something in return."
"We are doing what we've always done."
"Not interfering?" I asked sarcastically.
"We are trying to save this galaxy"
"Save? The galaxy is fine. It doesn't need saving."
"Yes, it does. And you are the one to do it."
I stare at him. I want to say something but my body won't obey my orders.
"When you died, it created some problems in the timeline, but it worked out. The Yeerks still left Earth. Still, you still had a key part to play. There was a chance that that part could be played by someone else, but that timeline has now ceased to exist. The Yeerks will win."
"What was I supposed to do?" I whispered.
"There was a possibility that you would design a weapon to use against the Yeerks. But you died. In one possible future, another female designed the weapon, but she is about to die, and now nothing will stop them."
"What does that have to do with me going back?"
"If you are alive again, even in a new body, you can still design the weapon. There's still a chance."
"What do you want me to do, exactly?"
"Destroy the Yeerks completely."
I froze. "What?"
"You can stop the entire Yeerk Empire."
"There's no way I could do that. All I can do is morph."
"And build a weapon that will annihilate the Yeerks."
"What if I don't? What if I can't get this to work?"
"Doesn't matter. You'll have six months to do your job, then you'll come back here."
"What?! You mean I don't get to stay?"
"We don't want to twist the timeline too much. You're time in that realm is over."
"No it isn't!" I exploded. "You said I was suppose to do all these things. That means I still have the rest of my life to live out. You want something from me. Well I want payment."
"Oh? What?"
"After the six months are over, I want to stay."
"I'm sorry, Kay. I can't do that."
"Then I why should I go back?"
"Do you want them to win?"
"Of course not!"
"Then go back."
"You don't know! You can't see the future. You don't know for sure that we'll lose."
"Kay, I may not be able to see the future, but I can see all the possibilities. Unless you go back, the Yeerks will take over. It may take ten years, or a hundred, or a thousand, but they will enslave the galaxy. Kay, you are the only hope."
I looked away. I did not want to go back to that painful place. How can I describe it? This place was literally heaven. We call it Paradise, and that's what it is. Paradise. It's as if this place was light, and the physical world was just a dark pit full of pain and suffering.
If there was a war going on, far, far away, and it does not affect you, would you go into that war? To the inhabitants of Paradise, the third dimension is that war. That place is merely a test. A way to discover your soul. The more virtuous your actions in the third dimension, the sooner you left for Paradise. I died to protect the secret of the Animorphs. That enabled me to come here. To this place of pure joy and happiness and love and harmony. Love. That's the only bad part about this place. I missed Ax.
"If you go back, you can see him again." The Ellimist had read my mind. "You can tell him. You can say goodbye."
It was unbelievable. I was getting another chance at life. My thoughts were in turmoil. On one hand, I could live again, even if for only a few months. I could see my friends. On the other hand, I could stay here in a perfect world. In Paradise, away from the pain.
I was reminded of a book I once read. One of the last ones I read before I died. Les Miserabes. Quite famous. There was a line. "Remain in paradise, and become a demon there; or re-enter hell, and become an angel?" I suppose, that was the question that I faced. And I made the decision Jean Valjean did.
I took a deep breath and gave my answer. "I'll do it."
Chapter Two
"I thought I'd get to be human!"
SORRY, THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN STOP THE YEERKS IS IF YOU GO INTO AN ANDALITE BODY.
"I want my body back!"
YOU CAN HAVE IT. TWO HOURS AT A TIME.
It dawned on me what he was saying. "A morph?"
A MORPH.
"Fine." I snapped.
SHE'S LEAVING.
A blue haze surrounded me. I passed out.
Her vitals are getting stronger!
I moaned. I had a killer headache.
She waking up!
I opened all four of my eyes. I was looking at three happy Andalite faces.
Princess Athesis! Thank goodness you pulled through. For a moment we thought we had lost you.
Princess Athesis? Who's that? Oh, the Andalite.
I had her memories, but I had my too.
Apparently, this Andalite was a Princess and a well-known scientist.
Where am I?
You're at the Medical Center.
What happened?
Don't you remember? The ship you were on was badly damaged in the last battle. You were injured.
Oh.
How do you feel?
All my muscles hurt, and I have headache.
You'll be all right in a few days.
Chapter Three
They sent me back to the homeworld and I spent the next week recovering. I convinced the medics to let me go back to my lab once I did a quick morph/demorph.
I had to do what I came back to do: Design a weapon.
I had no clue where to start. After all, I was not a real scientist. I had no training, no formal education. I had never even finished high school. I never had a chance.
I wondered why the Ellimist, or the Ellimists chose me. Of all the dead people, why not Einstein? Or Curie? Or some other famous hotshot scientist. Or better yet, someone still alive to do their dirty work.
I sighed. I did know some things. Everything Athesis knew, I knew. And of course, there were those Honors Chemistry courses in high school.
I suppose some people might say I was like a Yeerk. Using Athesis's body, her memories. But it wasn't her body anymore. It was a shell. Athesis was gone. To a new life, or Paradise.
And I didn't access all her memories. Just the ones I needed to maintain my cover and complete my mission. I suppose it's not much of an excuse, but I felt like Athesis and I were one.
I suppose, at the moment, I could have just forgotten that I ever was Kay and totally and wholly become Athesis-Morret-Langar. But I had promised the Ellimist I would make that weapon. And I would.
After all, I owned him a favor. He had given those last two precious hours on Earth. I could at least try to save the galaxy he loved so much.
I suppose it's hard to understand, but I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to destroy the Yeerks.
Sure, they would enslave the galaxy if I didn't, and I most certainly didn't want that, but after ten years in Paradise, I have gotten tired of killing. I have killed many in my lifetimes. Yes, lifetimes. My life a Kay was only one of seven. Seven. That sounds like a lot, but most souls average fifteen. Fifteen lifetimes to understand the meaning of life. And despite what some people tell you, it's not forty-one.
When I entered Paradise, I remember each of my past lives.
And in each of those lives, I did many things. I have killed many, hurt many, and suffered as much pain as I bestowed.
I was a Pemalite, back in the times before the Howlers came. When life was bliss and there was no such thing as fear. Ah, what a life. If only peace such that can last. And in a twist of fate, I had a Chee named Ir'k. When he later took on the human form of a teenager, he called himself Erek King.
And then, I went to a world far from this galaxy. Its name cannot be written in the English language. But the name they called themselves can be roughly translated into The One. It was a very peaceful, very civilized society, but there was no technology. The people wanted a simple life. They enjoyed hard work and their routine lives. There were occasionally arguments, and sometimes even violence. But these people were happy with the life they had, and that is why they lived in peace and harmony.
My next life was as Queen to the Osk'lique people. I was a leader and a ruler. I dealt with the problems of the people, and personal dilemmas as well. There were traitors, criminals, and rivaling kingdoms. They had problems, but they were a good people.
I was a human twice. The first time, I was an African slave during the period just before the Civil War. I escaped through the Underground Railroad and went to Canada where I started a new life. Perhaps I retained some of my love for that land through my many reincarnations, because as Kay, I called Canada home.
In my next life, I was an Andalite. A male warrior by the name of Colon-Arigus-Noggs. Seerow had been my prince, and I felt betrayed by him when the Yeerks turned out to be the plague he unleashed. I fought in many battles, and witnessed Alloran's horrendous decision to unleash the Quantum Virus on the Hork-Bajir homeworld. I died on that planet, fighting the Yeerks. And I will never forget the image of rivers of blood —Andalite, Hork-Bajir, Taxxon— flowing down the hillside as the slaughter continued.
In my sixth life, I was a Yeerk. Oh, the irony! I once was what I hated and fought. My name was Anius Seven-Five-One. Otherwise know as Under-Visser Thirty-Four. I died in battle against the Andalites. It was Elfangor who shot me down. Oh, the irony! The hero who killed me, and so many others. One twitch of his finger and my ship erupted into flames.
And that is why I am tired of killing. How many creatures' blood are on my tailblade? How many worlds did I help the Yeerks conquer? How many Yeerks did I help destroy as Kay? And how many more will I kill?
Chapter Four
Each of those lives taught me something.
As a Pemalite, I learned of love, trust, and friendship.
The One taught me the values of working for your goal, of planning, of teamwork, and how to solve differences.
Life as Queen taught me responsibility and leadership. I learned of the life of the upper class. There were pressures during disputes about territory. And prosperity when diplomatic efforts solved quarrels.
The Civil War taught me how cruel people can be, and how to stand up for what you believe in. But it also taught me forgiveness, because I did eventually forgive. I found out that life isn't always fair, but despite obstacles and prejudices, you can still overcome your shortcomings if you try.
Then I fought in a war and saw for myself the suffering and destruction it caused. How many did I kill? Ten? Twenty? A hundred? I don't know. I never bothered to count. Now I wish I did.
As a Yeerk, I killed, I enslaved, I tortured, and I walked in the enemy's shoes. Yeerks are not just evil slugs. They have feelings, emotions. Can you imaging being blind all you life, and then suddenly you can see? Just think what it would be like not knowing what sound was, and then hearing music for the first time. I suppose now, I know how Helen Keller lived. A world of silence and darkness, and then Annie came. The Yeerks were in the same position. And Seerow was their salvation.
If you were paralyzed, and there was a way to have your whole body back, what would you do? How desperate would you be? How far would you go? Can you really blame the Yeerks for wanting a better life? Yes, they hurt others, but that doesn't mean they're evil.
I know very well what life as a Yeerks is like. I didn't rise to the position of Under-Visser Thirty-Four by being nice. I was ruthless, to put it simply. You get to the top by stepping on others. Of course, when Yeerks get stepped on, they get squished.
My host was a Hork-Bajir. A seer, I think. He was born into Yeerk captivity. Normal, those hosts have no will of their own, better than voluntary. But this one was different. His mind was always alert. He was quite smart for a Hork-Bajir. He watched what I did from his corner of his mind and learned.
I'm not sure if he was a seer. He was smarter than the average Hork-Bajir, but he did not have a free will. He could analyze things quickly, but not make a decision except which had better odds. I used this analytical ability of his. I used him.
I was actually considered kind –for an Under-Visser. I wasn't feared by my underlings. They knew I wouldn't execute anyone unless they did something really stupid. Not that I didn't execute anyone. Just not as often as the rest of the higher-ranking Yeerks.
I don't know exactly how I made it that high up in the Yeerk heirachy without becoming as ruthless as Visser Three. Maybe it was because my host never resisted. Or maybe it was just luck.
That life probably had the most impact on me. The other side of the war. The 'enemy' that really wasn't an enemy. I gained an understanding that would never leave me. They say you don't know a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes. I say you don't know a person until you've lived a lifetime.
And Kay. My final life. I learned the most important lesson of all. Love. Sappy, I know. But this was the first time I experienced that never-dying, unconditional, no-matter-what-happens love. The kind that no barrier can stop; not distance, not time, not society.
And sacrifice. That's not something everyone can do. And most never get a chance. I suppose it's mostly desperation. To give up your life for others. I did it once. But I don't know if I could do it again. I'm not even sure if I could kill again.
That's me. The Pemalite, the One, the Osk'lique, the human, the Andalite, the Yeerk, and perhaps most of all, the girl named Kay.
To be continued...