--


EVER RECKONING


--


I watched you grow up, now a young woman.

I watched you laugh, smile entrancing.

I watched you lose your loved ones, only to lose yourself.

I watched you slip away, into the darkness.

I watched you return, only to someone else.

Forever I will watch you from afar, an outcast. Forever I will watch you closely, my love still with you. You took the hand of another, you ignored my outstretched arms. You took one fall after the other, not looking what lay ahead. I know better than to hope you will one day be mine—though should you lose your way, should you stumble, I will be there to catch you.

Never forget, I will be watching you.


--


I saw you watching my life, your green eyes observing.

I saw you watching me fight, ready to shield me.

I saw you watching my pain, your presence comforting.

I saw you watching my fall, your strength my only will.

I saw you watching my loves, features unreadable.

Should I ever wonder if you could see my inner feelings? Should I ever wonder if you could read these emotions I hide? I have wondered, I have questioned—and I have found no answers. My own thoughts deceive the logic I have trained myself to attain; my own sentiments for you hold no common sense. I know better than to hope one day I can reveal my most concealed of secrets.

Never forget, I can see you watching.


--


Three years after the surrender of the Yuuzhan Vong


Log Entry 1531.18, General Jaina Solo Fel, aboard the Millennium Falcon.


We are in hyperspace, on our way back to Mon Calamari. We have successfully completed a mission to the Unknown Regions, gathering recon information and existing trade routes from the Chiss. I met with Jagged at Csillia. He has two children now, twins. Wonderful boys. Shawnkyr was waiting for them at their home, which is why I was not able to speak to them for long.

Jagged told me he would send me the divorce papers soon. I don't believe him. He had said the same thing five months ago. I don't bother to press; it would be a waste of my already spent energy.

My father makes a remark about the comm antenna he had attached to the Falcon. I don't catch it. I am sitting in the ship's lounge, at the dejariik table Jacen and I used to play on. He is gone now. He died in the final battle with the Vong.

I was almost killed in that same conflict. Kyp saved me before I could. I wonder where he is. I would guess he is somewhere in the Outer Rim, helping settle refugees. I haven't heard from him in over a year. After the war we had gotten more and more out of touch. I regret it, though what use is regret?

I must help my mother with her exercises now. She lost use of her legs when the Rebel Dream exploded and has since been undergoing therapy. I don't show it, but I doubt she would ever be able to walk again.

And though I don't show it, I doubt I will ever be able to love again.


--END--


--


In the deepest of darkness I will find you


--



The air smells of salt and iodine; I know we are close to the sea now. It seems like a perfect day for a walk on the beach. Though, I know otherwise. This world we are on is inhabited with deadly ocean creatures, which is why we must keep the refugees out of the area. I am on a scouting run with Danni Quee, Tahiri Veila-Solo and Master Skywalker, inspecting and mapping the inhabitable sites where we might be able to plant camps.

Danni asks for the biscopes. I hand them to her, after rummaging in my pack for a while. As I did, however, a holo fell out of one of my pockets.

It took me no longer than two seconds to recognize it. It is a holo of Jaina, one she gave me before we parted on Andur. It is at least three years old.

My heart wrenches in its place.

"Kyp? Are you all right?"

I feel Master Skywalker's concern through the Force. I nod, though I lie. It takes me a minute or so before I can take my mind off her again, though in the back of my thoughts she is still there. Last I heard, she and her husband were getting a divorce—though I may just be wishing it. It is foolishness, I know. But of course, I am Kyp Durron. I am famous for my arrogance and brash decisions.

We soon finish the run-through, and are on our way back to base. Tomorrow we are leaving for Mon Calamari.

And maybe there I can get myself together again.


--


In the harshest of cold I will hold you


--


Twenty-four standard hours later, on Mon Calamari


Log Entry 1531.20, General Jaina Solo Fel, at the Galactic Alliance Military Headquarters.


He is here. I know it. I feel it.

My mind is spinning. I know why.

Maybe now I will tell him. Though should I? Would I? I doubt I could possess the will to.

But then again…

Maybe now I will tell him.

The meeting with Aunt Mara was brief. We were told of Kyp and Uncle Luke's recent progressions on the refugee situation. We weren't told that they were coming today—we were expecting them for no earlier than tomorrow—though I suppose Mara didn't know either.

For now I am exhausted. On the journey here I could not find rest—I had been too busy organizing my notes for the High Council meeting two days from now. I had been included on the council after the fall of the Vong and had been attending them as often as I could—though my attendances would be most often than not few and far between.

I found a letter in my belongings today. It is at least a year old. I have only remembered to read it now.

It is from Kyp.

I fumbled to open it, but I could not. I cannot.

I must speak to him. At the Council.

He'll be there.

Maybe then I will tell him.

Maybe he already knows.


--END--


--


But for now we must let go


--


The atmosphere is nothing short of hectic chaos.

I am not surprised. Mon Calamari has always been this way. Full of bustling creatures from all the galaxy—and more so now, that they are not living in fear of annihilation by the Vong. I make my way across the hangar, but then I stop.

She is here. I know it. I feel it.

My hands start to shake. I know why.

I wonder if she ever read my letter. Maybe she has—and she hates me for it.

I suddenly remember the Council meeting I must prepare for. I am guessing she will be there…

No. I know she will.

Maybe then I will tell her.

But then again…

Maybe I won't.

Maybe tomorrow.


--


But for now we must move on


--


The next day


Log Entry 1721.21, General Jaina Solo Fel, at the Galactic Alliance Military Headquarters.


Are we still partners? was all the letter asked. As I read it, I had sat stunned.

I don't know the answer to that question myself.

Yesterday I received the divorce agreements. In an hour our marriage will have ended. At least Jagged could make good on one of his countless promises.

As I write this the door buzzes.

I knew who it is even before he arrived.


--END--


--


Never forget, I will find you again


--