Not Afraid, a glee fanfic

Not Afraid

So this is me being melancholy. Tell me what you think. This isn't the whole song, it's "Not Afraid" by Eminem. You can find it on Youtube, and it sets the mood for reading it if you listen along. I don't know the song is just getting to me and I need to write this out. Thanks for reading!

I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

I tried to do right.

I tried to be the fucking knight in shining armor and savior and all that bullshit but it didn't work.

She still gave her away.

I know I'm too young to raise her, but I could have tried. I could have made it work. I would have rehabbed myself to make myself worthy of them. Of Quinn and Beth. But I didn't get the chance.

But now I am not afraid.

I am facing my demons. It's time to stop letting my demons control me.

And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, Imma face my demons
I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now

My dad. The man is still shaping my life and he hasn't been around since I was eight. Enough.

My mom. I love her. She's my mom and to an extent, part of the problem of why I am the way I am.

My sister. How fucked up is this? I've been the only father figure that she's known, and I haven't done a good job of it. It's gonna get better. It has to.

Beth. I'm sorry that I can't be there for her. I'm not ready and I want her to have a chance. A chance at being normal and not like me. She needs-no deserves better. Better than me.

Quinn. God where do you start with this fuckfest? She was a mistake and my biggest regret. I can't hate her because she helped me make the most important person in the world to me. But I regret her so fucking much.

Finn. God. It kills me that I hurt Finn so much. He's been there for me through so much. My dad leaving, my first kiss, my first everything. He was my first friend and my third biggest regret.

It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me
Admittedly I probably did it subliminally for you
So I could come back a brand new me, you helped see me through
And don't even realize what you did, believe me you
I been through the ringer, but they can do little to the middle finger
I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of
My world, haters can make like bees with no stingers, and drop dead
No more beef flingers, no more drama from now on, I promise
To focus solely on handling my responsibilities as a father
So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof like my daughters and raise it
You couldn't lift a single shingle on it
Cause the way I feel, I'm strong enough to go to the club
Or the corner pub and lift the whole liquor counter up
Cause I'm raising the bar, I shoot for the moon
But I'm too busy gazing at stars, I feel amazing and

God the list could be endless. I want to make myself worthy. Not for one person. But for myself. Time to put myself back together. Time to be a man. Time to grow up and take a stand. Be a better person. And then maybe I will be worthy. Worthy of love and respect. It's time to put myself back together and be whole finally.

So I cried writing this. God this is so emotional for me cause it's kinda cathartic for me. This could be a narrative from me. Please tell me what you think. For some reason Eminem's music is really resonating with me right now. Thanks Novi and Sapphire EJ for reading this over! I love you guys! Please review and tell me what you think please! Have a great weekend and week!