Where There's a Flame

Hey Everybody. So to all of you who follow my other Vampire Diaries stories, I apologize that I haven't updated. I'm in my senior year of college and it's hectic, but when I find time, I will definitely update.

Anyway, this little one shot would not leave my head for the last two weeks and since I came across some free time tonight, I thought I would type it up! I found a lot of inspiration for this from a verse of Pink's song Try…awesome song. If you haven't heard it, GO LISTEN :)

Just a side note, I am NOT a Stelena fan in the least bit, but I really wanted to explore Stefan and Elena's feelings after the breakup via….DIARY! I know, so cliché, but for them it's appropriate.

I hope you ENJOY!

"Funny how the heart can be deceiving,

More than just a couple times.

Why do we fall in love so easy?

Even when it's not right."

-Pink

*** Stefan POV

Dear Diary,

Elena and I broke up today….And this time I fear it may be for good.

I know that I should have seen this coming, but to be honest I believed her when she said she chose me that night before she died on the bridge. I should have known that everything would change now that she's a vampire. I guess I was just holding on to the girl she was when she was human….no, I was holding on to the girl she was before I left her to fulfill my deal with Klaus.

Words can never express how much I wish I could take those months back. But I drove her to this. I helped make her into this darker person she has become. And the worst part about all of this is that I never even really apologized for everything I put her through. She loved me through everything I did, everything I became, and now…now none of that matters because she also came to love Damon…

I always knew this would come down to choosing between me or my brother. I practically drove her into his arms too…It's my fault that her feelings for him became so strong without me even realizing it for the longest time. Just another thing to add to my very long list of regrets.

But I can't blame her for her feelings either, I know she has been trying to do the right thing. I know that he was there for her when I was not. He was her rock, her protection, he helped get me back for her, because he could never bear to see her as unhappy as she was then without me. I will probably never admit this to Damon…because it's too hard, or because I'm jealous or too full of pride, I'm not sure. But I understand now that he is and always has been the better brother…selfless. Impulsive, but selfless. Everything he does, he does for love. And that makes him more deserving of Elena than I will ever be.

I can't deny that this hurts….it hurts more than anything I have ever felt before. I've lost her due to my own selfishness…my own pride. I've lost her more than once. And it hurts even more knowing how she feels about my brother…knowing that the feelings she once felt for me, now belong to him. I won't be able to bear seeing them together. Not for a long time anyway. But I suppose I owe it to both of them to deal with it. I've watched Damon sacrifice his feelings for her for almost two years now.

It's going to hurt…seeing her move on. But I know that I can't give her the happiness she deserves. I can't be there for her the way he can during this difficult time in her life. I simply don't know how to because of my ripper nature. At least I know she's in good hands with Damon…he won't let he lose control. He won't allow her to lose herself.

And so I end here…I don't know where to begin coping with the loss of her love. But I suppose I can start by going about my normal lifeless existence. I'll continue on the search for this cure for Elena. After all, I still love her more than anything. Once we find that, well….I guess I will go from there.

Stefan Salvatore

***Elena POV

Dear Diary,

Stefan and I broke up today…and I'm not even sure how I should be handling it.

I'm relieved on one hand, because I know that it was the right thing to do. But on the other hand, I can't escape this feeling of guilt knowing that when I chose him, it was supposed to be forever. I was supposed to love him forever…he was my epic love, and that kind of love is supposed to last.

At least, that's what I thought when I was still human. And maybe had I not died on that bridge my feelings for him never would have changed. But we all know you can't change fate….Maybe I was meant to be a vampire, or maybe this is just some sort of cruel test run for me. There is apparently a cure, after all. But maybe this means my feelings were meant to change. That I was never meant to love Stefan for the rest of my life…or existence.

When I became a vampire and the memories that Damon compelled me to forget returned to me, I didn't want to admit that he was right all along. I couldn't…no, I never wanted to admit that I want a love that consumes me. A love that's full of passion, and adventure, and yes, even a little bit of danger. Well, whenever I'm with Damon he does consume me….even more so now than ever before. It wasn't like that with Stefan, not anymore at least. And I couldn't deny it any longer. I can't deny it any longer.

I know he's hurting…and it hurts me knowing that I have caused him pain, but I also know it would have hurt more to drag on a love that was no longer there. I do still love Stefan, but it's not the forever kind of love that I could have settled for as a human. I don't know if my feelings for Damon are the forever kind either, but I have to at least find out. I owe it to Damon after all that he's done for me, even though I never deserved any of it.

I'm not sure where this leaves Stefan and I. I know that he will always try to be there for me. He's still going to search for this cure for me, even though I know that I could never be the same girl I was before I turned…It's nice knowing that I at least have the option of choosing my humanity if I want.

It's going to be difficult for him to see Damon and I together. I don't think he will be able to handle it as well as Damon did for so long. Stefan isn't that kind of guy…he will be jealous, and he will probably act out, even if he wants to be happy for his brother and for me.

I don't even know what's going to happen between Damon and me. The founder's festival is tomorrow. By then he will have undoubtedly heard that Stefan and I broke up. I plan on talking to him, telling him how I feel, but knowing Damon, he's not going to make it easy for me. Not after all the times I have rejected him….First and foremost, I think he deserves an apology.

But tomorrow is another day, and it can't possible go any worse than today did….

Love,

Elena Gilbert