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(Dave looks into camera)
[Dave] Hello. My name is Dave Malucci and I am making this film for Mr. Willow's film class at Chicago Junior College where I am currently taking weekend classes. My fellow colleugues at the hospital have agreed to help me with this project-
[Mark] He's paying us.
[Dave] Get out of the shot Dr. Greene! Anyway...where was I? Oh, yeah...my fellow collegues-
[Mark] You already said that.
[Dave] I said get out of the shot! (whispers) They must have removed more than that tumor from your brain...
[Mark] What?
[Romano] Can we get on with this? I have a small bowel obstruction in an hour and a half.
[Dave] Well if you two would get out of the shot I could finish the prolouge and we could get on with it.
[Romano&Mark] Fine.
( Dave looks into camera again)
[Dave] Well, this is called Spacemergency, and I hope you like it.
[Romano] One hour and twenty-eight minutes... ( Camera goes fuzzy)
( We see a piece of poster board with writing scribbled on it)
[Poster] A long time ago in an emergency room far far away...
Spacemergency!
[New Poster] Starring:
John Skycarter - John Carter
Dave Solucci - Dave Malucci
Greenbacca - Mark Greene
Princess Lizzia - Elizabeth Corday
Darth Venton - Peter Benton
Emperor Rocket - Robert Romano
Chen-3PO - Jing-Mei Chen
L-U-K-A - Luka Kovac
Admril Crutch - Kerry Weaver
Cleo the Finch - Cleo Finch
Stormnurses - Malik, Yosh, Jerry
Rebelnurses - Haleh, Lydia, Chuny, Connie
Girl on the other side of the com - Randi
Old-Gabe Kenobi - Gaberial Lawrence
( We see Elizabeth Corday fixing her hair while the female and male nurses squirt each other with sringes full of saline)
[Malik] Die rebel scum!
[Haleh] Never! We will save Princess Lizzia!
[Yosh] This film is very violent Dave.
[Dave (behind camera) ] Stick to the script Yosh! You're supposed to be a storm nurse!
[Yosh] Oh, right.
( He squirts Chuny and Haleh. Malik and Jerry squirt Connie and Lydia and they fall)
[Elizabeth] Oh my! My reinforcements have fallen! I must save the plans to the new surgery room! If the surgens succed in opening the emergency OR room in the ER, they will take over and we will all be doomed!
( She runs off screen, the scene fades to the sutures room. We see Elizabeth giving a floppy disk to Jing-Mei, wearing a sexy gold catsuit, and Luka, squatted down on all fours on a skateboard, with an upsidown bowl on his head)
[Jing-Mei] Dave why is it nessasary for me to wear this? Its too tight.
[Dave] Shut up and read your lines. (He high-fives Romano behind the camera)
[Elizabeth] L-U-K-A, you must take this disk to Old-Gabe Kenobi. He is our only hope.
(She puts the floppy disk in Luka's mouth)
[Luka] How did I get myself into this?
[Malik] There she is!
[Jerry] Sedate her! .5 of Hedrol Yosh.
( Elizabeth runs, but the stormnurses sedate her)
[Malik] Inform Lord Venton we have a prisonor.
( Peter Benton walkes into sutures. Instead of evil Imperial music, we hear the theme song to ER)
[Peter] We will find the plans.
(Scene fades to front desk. Randi and Frank are looking at the computer)
[Randi] There goes another helicopter from the roof.
[Frank] Hold your fire. The scanner says there are no Americans inside.
[Randi] OK.
[Romano] Allright, that's it, I have to go.
[Dave] Can't you wait?
[Romano] The small bowel obstruction calls. We can finish when I'm done.
[Dave] Ok.
( Camera goes fuzzy)
TO BE CONTINUED...