A/N: Okay, this is pretty silly. I wrote it a couple years ago at about four a.m. after Cat and Katbaby on the RM board got my muse all stirred up and she wouldn't stop giggling. I decided to go ahead and post it now just to let everyone know I'm still alive and kicking and haven't fallen off the face of the Earth! (It has NOT been a fun year!)

Helpful Friends

Stephanie stood well back from the still-steaming remains of her recently-deceased POV. It didn't look so bad now that twilight was falling, she thought. Really, the way the still-hot frame glowed in the growing darkness was kind of pretty...

Someone nearby cleared their throat and she looked up to see a black SUV pulling into the curb halfway down the block. Light wasn't really needed for her to identify the large form of Tank and the only slightly smaller Hal climbing out of it and walking toward her.

"Hi, guys," she said with a self-conscious little finger wave.

"Evening, Steph," rumbled Tank. He looked like he was thinking about smiling. "We heard about your car on the scanner and came to see if you needed any assistance."

She shifted foot to foot for a moment, her eyes going from the burned-out vehicle on the street - still surrounded by fire hoses and puddles of water - to the four-story brick apartment building behind her. "Well," she said finally. "Do you suppose you guys could take care of my skip? I'll probably be here for a little while longer and I left things kind of messy on the third floor."

Both men stepped a bit closer.

Hal cut his eyes to the third floor. "How bad is he? Do you want us to, you know, get rid of anything?"

Stephanie gave him a blank stare for several minutes before she understood the unasked part of the question. "Like a body?" she asked.

"Yeah," Hal said.

A frown appeared, then her mouth worked several times before finally, with a huff, she spoke. "I don't kill people!" she whispered shrilly. "When have I ever killed anyone?"

Hal looked taken back but Tank spoke up, glimpses of his white teeth flashing as he half-smiled even as he talked. "Well, there was Jimmy Alfa..."

Steph cut him off, waving her hands and forgetting to whisper. "That's different! He doesn't count - he was trying to kill me!"

"And then there was that Webmaster guy," Hal piped up helpfully.

This reduced Stephanie to sputters again and Tank's grin grew to full strength.

"But he...I...Never mind, never mind!" Stephanie finally ground out. "I did not kill my skip, he's perfectly fine, stunned and handcuffed in 3C."

"You said it was messy," Tank reminded her.

"Well, I didn't mean it the way you guys obviously do. I meant he was holding a glass of beer and a jar of salsa when I stunned him, and it went everywhere. He's a soggy mess and you're gonna want to grab towels for him to sit on in your SUV. So - can you guys take him in for me? I'll buy you pizza and beer...or bring you some of my mom's cookies..."

"Deal!" Hal exclaimed, and started for the door of the building.

"Cookies," Tank clarified, then he followed Hal.

Good friends were the best!

The End :)