Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone 5 Liner
I've seen fics similar to this, but I wanted to try my hand at it. I'm so so sorry its been so long since i've updated. I recently read through what I've done on these five-liners as well as the reviews and I got inspired so I thought I'd do some updating and (maybe) even keep going where I left off. HOWEVER, this means that you must let me know what you think if you want me to continue. Any who, I think it's worth a read - so enjoy! Oh yea and before I forget…
DISCLAMER - Unfortunately I do not have rights to nor do I own Harry Potter. Wouldn't that be fun though?
And on with book 1…
Chapter 1- The Boy Who Lived
Dumbledore: The most powerful bad guy on earth has been thwarted by an infant! Let us rejoice!
McGonagall: Yay.
Dumbledore: Now he must live with his emotionally abusive relatives who will lock him in a closet for 12 years.
McGonagall: So sad.
Hagrid: Oh well …see ya Harry!
Chapter 2 - The Vanishing Glass
Harry : Hi snake. How's life?
Snake: Sucks.
Harry: Yea? Me too - I think I'll free you and make this glass disappear while I laugh at Dudley and think something like this happening isn't at all odd.
Uncle Vernon: Go…Cupboard….Stay….Forever
Harry: What? Talking to snakes is completely normal.
Chapter 3 - The Letters From No One
Harry: Oooo! Letter for me!
Vernon: Gaiiee!!! Is not! It's just the damn Publisher's Clearing House!
Harry: Cool! Now letters are flying everywhere! I should jump up and down trying to get one rather than simply picking one up from the ground.
Vernon: We should move to the middle of the ocean on a little hut on a rock.
Door: BOOM
Chapter 4 - The Keeper of the Keys
Hagrid : Harry, you're a wizard.
Petunia and Vernon: Wizards suck.
Dudley: Oink
Hagrid: Lots of information on Voldemort and completely forget I told you that I was expelled.
Harry: Okay I'll ask again next year.
Chapter 5 - Diagon Alley
Professor Quirrel: I' N-Not E-e-vil P-Potter. The B-B-ad guys N-never S-s-studder….
Harry: Of course they don't.
Hagrid: This package is secret and does not involve you nor is it in any way important.. Also, Slytherins suck. Got that?
Harry: Ok
Mr. Ollivander: Your wand is brother to Voldemorts! Lucky You! ...Now remember that!...or don't whatever.
Chapter 6 - The Journey From Platform Nine and Three-Quarters
Ms. Weasly: To get on to the Platform you simply walk through that wall.
Ron: Hi! I'll be your best friend.
Hermione: Me too, but not before I'm a bossy know-it-all with busy hair and big teeth.
Malfoy: I'm your arch nemises type guy. I'm also rich and have an important father.
Neville: I'm uh.. forgetful…
Chapter 7 - The Sorting Hat
Sorting Hat: Ron, Hermione since you are main characters it's Gryffindor!
Harry: Not Slytherin…not Slytherin…
Sorting Hat: But you're so slytheriny!
Harry: Not Slytherin…not Slytherin…
Sorting Hat: Fine! Gryffindor! (Mumbles about stubborn eleven year olds)
Chapter 8 - The Potions Master
Snape: I am the Potion God! - cower before me dunderheads.
Hermione: Me? Dunderhead? But I can do no wrong!
Snape: Potter! 50 points from Gryffindor because I'm the Potion God and you are an annoying little brat!
Ron: Snape is definitely evil villain material - Let's accuse him of anything evil that happens this year.
Harry: Ok – Look - that secret package vault been broken into! Who else but Snape?
Chapter 9 - The Midnight Duel
Hermione: I think I'll go along to keep you out of trouble.
Neville: Hey me too! Just cause I have no where else to go …
All: Big dog! Three heads! AHHH
Harry: You don't think it could be possibly guarding something like the secret package…?
Hermione: Who cares? I would rather die than be expelled.
Chapter 10 - Halloween
Harry: By the way I can play quidditch now.
Wood: Of course you can - you are the main character, besides if you don't, I will knock you over the head with a beater's club!
Quirrel: I L-Let a T-Troll In! Oops I mean…T-Troll - In The D-Dungeon! (faints)
Harry : Right. Now, Ron, since it is your fault that Hermione is crying inside the particular bathroom that the troll is in, we will save her being the super-eleven-year-olds that we are!
Hermione : Thanks now I can be your friend…. Yea yea with bushy hair and big teeth.
Chapter 11 -Quidditch
Ron : Look! Harry's performing some quite astonishing gymnastics on his obviously cursed broom!
Hermione : Yes this must be all Snape's doing of course! ( Sets Snape on fire)
Harry : (nearly swallows snitch) MMMMmmm - tastes like chicken!
Ron : Good job Harry! Now that's talent!
Hagrid : Cough Nicolas Cough Flamel
Chapter 12 - The Mirror of Erised
Anonymous Gift Giver : This was your father's - now you may have it to wander the school at night! Love Professor Dumbledore Anonymous Gift Giver
Harry : Well that's friendly! Wonder who it's from…
Mirror : I show not your face but your hears desire! Straight up. No joke.
Harry : Hey look Mummy!, Daddy! Long time no see! (Harry doesn't move for the next week and a half)
Dumbledore : Ahh I see you have found the mirror. I must now move it, but if you ever run across it again, you will now be prepared - ahem - not that you will run across it again of course.
Chapter 13 - Nicolas Flamel
Harry : Too bad I can't remember my Chocolate Frog card that has Flamel's name on it!
Neville : Here Harry, take a look at mine!
Harry : Thanks Neville but you get no credit for this.
Snape : I'm mean, ugly, vindictive, greasy and a whole bunch of other stuff! Fear me Quirrel!
Quirrel : Y-Y-yes S-Sir
Chapter 14 - Norbert The Norwegian Ridgeback
Hagrid : Aww.. Cute 'wittle fluffy dragon. Can I keep him? Can I keep him?
Harry : No sorry Hagrid - We need to take him in order to keep the story going.
Hagrid : (sobbing)' k… (as Hermione and Harry hand him off..)
Filch : Caughtcha! Haha sucks to be you!
Harry : Right. Now who's suppose to be the genius in this group who conveniently DIDN'T remind us to put the cloak back on??
Chapter 15- The Forbidden Forest
Malfoy : See professor! They're out of bed - I told you!
McGonagall : Hey genius! You are too! That means DETENTION! DETENTION! DETENTION! DETENTION! (Does a little dance…) A MILLION points from Gryffindor (even though it's my own house) and a bunch from Slytherin!!!
Hagrid: For your detention ,(which is partially my fault anyway) I will send you four defenseless eleven year olds into the forest to face the monster killin' these unicorns
Firenze: Hi Harry, uh that was Voldemort, by the way - the rest of the centaurs think I should let him have you, but you seem okay so I'll save you.
Harry : Gee thanks
Chapter 16 - Through the Trapdoor
Harry : Snape's gunna steal the stone tonight! We must save it!
Hermione and Ron : K
Ron : I am a master chess player and I will sacrifice myself for you!
Hermione : I am a child prodigy and have no problem solving Snape's litte riddle! But I must go -
so have fun Harry!
Harry : So I get to battle evil Snape on my own? See now why doesn't that surprise me…
Chapter 17 - The Man With Two Faces
Harry : Ha! Snape! Gotcha!!!
Quirrel: Not so fast kiddo! And for the bonus round - I have a Voldemort on the back of my head for you!
Voldemorts : Hey Harry! I DESPISE you!!! Join me and you will earn my love….
Harry: Uh no thanks - I think I'll TRY and kill you now (tries then passes out)
Dumbledore : Of course I got there In time to save you Harry. A million points to Gryffindor
for no particular reason. You win the house cup! Your life still sucks though - sorry about that!
All right R & R. If you like it, I continue..